“I called her a frigid bitch who couldn’t suck cock to save her life.”
“Yep, that would’ve done it,” I muttered, starting to get the big picture. I could see how he felt responsible, but to carry her death for all those years, to deliberately remove himself from any kind of happiness himself – he was the masochist, not me.
“I know… like I said, I’d been drinking, and my self control was shot to shit.”
“No, it wasn’t though,” I insisted, wishing I could look him in the eye. Having the conversation with his chest was maddening. “You didn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to. The two of you were engaged, and sex is a pretty big part of marriage. You had to talk about it at some point.”
“What I should’ve done was kept my fucking mouth shut and found a way to satisfy those sick urges on the side.”
“Oh sure, because that’s what a wife prefers,” I scowled. Did he really think that would’ve made it better?
“It’s what she wanted. She told me I’d better not ever bother her with that kind of twisted shit again, and as long as I kept her in the dark about it, she’d try to find some way to accept me as her husband. I told her… I told her that if she couldn’t make an effort to satisfy me, she should just get the fuck out. And she did.”
The silence stretched between us again as I digested the tragic story and he relived it. “You had an argument and you said some shitty things. That doesn’t mean you killed her. You didn’t know she’d crash her car,” I said softly. “And you tried to save her life.”
“Fat lot of good it did. She was already dead the moment she hit that barn – trying to get away from me. I’m living the life I deserve, trust me.”
“Okay then, I deserve happiness,” I declared suddenly, deciding to switch tacks.
His arms tightened around me, his chin resting atop my head before he let me go. “Yes. Which is why you should leave and never look back.”
“You’re the one who makes me happy, dumbass. If I deserve to be happy, then you should be working your ass off to make me that way. Have you ever thought of that?” I steeled myself for the rebuke for insulting him, but he just sounded dumbfounded.
“You can honestly say I make you happy after everything I’ve told you?”
“I’m saying you’ve earned a shot to try. That’s all any of us can do, isn’t it?”
“Then that’s what you want us to do? Try?”
“If you want to. If you can’t at least try, then… yeah, I should go now before I get in any deeper.”
He was quiet for long seconds, no longer holding or touching me beyond where I lay on him. This was it. I’d given him an ultimatum, and the guy obviously didn’t deal well with them. Shit. I’d blown it.
“And what would make you happy right now?”
Besides you telling me that you love me and feel stupid for ever letting me go? I squelched that thought, trying to come up with something he was actually capable of giving at the moment. “Right now I’d settle for a kiss.”
“Yes, mistress,” he purred, and I barely had time to squeeze my eyes shut again before he rolled me onto my back and claimed my mouth in a hungry kiss. My heart swelled with happiness that he was willing to try – and oh, how he tried! Aidan being Aidan, he didn’t stop with a kiss on the lips. He didn’t stop until I was weak and panting, having come hard against his mouth, screaming his name. I didn’t need the blindfold to keep from seeing, I was so deliciously wrung out, I couldn’t have opened my eyes if I wanted to.
When I could breathe semi-normally again, I stroked his head, which still rested between my thighs. “That was some kiss.”
“Don’t you forget it,” he said, his voice smug with male pride as he kissed my belly on the way back up my body.
I thought for sure he’d ask me to reciprocate, and I fully intended to, just as soon as I could move my arms and legs again. Instead he scooped me back up into his arms, tucking me into his chest. I settled for kissing his nipple, my tongue running over the flat nub. “Thank you for trying,” I whispered.
“I’d say I fucking succeeded,” he chuckled.
“You sure did,” I admitted, loving the sound of his low laugh. “Can I see you?”
He instantly stiffened beneath me – and not in a good way. “No.”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. He was going to have to let me see him at some point if I was going to keep living with him in such close quarters. Or was he planning on kicking me back into my own room? “Can I stay in here with you tonight?”
“Only if you stop talking,” he sighed, sounding annoyed, but his arm wrapped around me tighter.
“Okay, okay. But you should know I think…”
“Shut up and go to sleep, Lily.”
“But I…”
“Shut up and go to sleep,” he growled.
“I was just going to say I love you,” I growled right back. “Sheesh.”
He chuckled again, the sound faint, as if he was already drifting off. “Good girl.”
~9~
When I woke up, Aidan was gone, and for one gut-wrenching moment I thought he was really gone, gone, but I shoved away that bit of self-doubt. It was late morning, I’d slept in way too long. The guy was probably up and about and didn’t want to wake me. That’s what I told myself, as I borrowed one of his shirts and went in search of him.
I found Aidan in his office, frowning at the computer screen, lips moving silently as he read something. Leaning against the doorframe, I watched him, drinking in his beloved features. Man, I could’ve stood there all day watching him work. I couldn’t care less about the scar, it didn’t take anything away from his masculine beauty as far as I was concerned. It almost made him look like a pirate, and I caught my bottom lip between my teeth as I spun a fantasy that involved him as the pirate king and a virginal schoolmarm captured at sea. After all, I already knew he liked to play dress up.
Smiling to myself over the image, I realized with a start that he’d noticed me, getting a brief glimpse of something that might’ve been fear before he turned away from me.
“Get out, you’re not supposed to be in here,” he barked.
I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there, but we’d gone way past what I was supposed to do, per the terms of the contract. I also knew it made him uncomfortable for me to be there, but I had to show him it really didn’t bother me in the slightest. Pushing away from the door, I walked up to him slowly, the same way I’d approach a wounded animal, giving him plenty of time to draw away or yell, but he’d gone very still, head angled away, gaze on the floor.
“Hey,” I said softly, sitting on the edge of the desk in front of him. Gently, I reached for his cheek, lightly stroking the line of his bearded jaw. “You’re beautiful,” I whispered, kissing his smooth, perfect cheek. My other hand rose to touch the opposite side, pulling him toward me until I could see his entire face, though he still wouldn’t look at me. Leaning in, I brushed my lips over the scar on his brow, but he immediately pulled away again with a deep scowl.
“Don’t…”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” I apologized, bringing his face close to press against my chest. He nuzzled into my breasts, inhaling deeply. His shoulders relaxed a bit, as if he felt safer out of my direct gaze. “I get that it makes you uncomfortable. But I want you to know, it doesn’t bother me.”
“I don’t see how it couldn’t.”
“Because I happen to think you’re very sexy, scar and all. And I fell for you without being able to see you, so it doesn’t matter to me what you look like either way.”
“It matters to me.”
But he hadn’t ordered me to leave, so I tried to build on that. “Okay. I’ll try to avoid looking at you directly if you let me be around you without the blindfold. Deal?” He didn’t respond one way or the other, so I closed my eyes and forced him back so he could see that I was making an effort. “Deal?”
“Deal,” he agreed, leaving no more room for talk as his
mouth closed over mine. If I’d had any doubts over what he felt for me, they were gone the moment I felt his lips on mine. Aidan kissed me like he’d forgotten what I tasted like and couldn’t get enough of me, his nimble fingers making short work of the buttons of my shirt.
“What if someone sees us?” I got out between kisses, when he shoved everything aside on his desk and lifted me to sit before him. “I didn’t shut the door.”
“No one will disturb us,” he replied with utter confidence. “There are benefits to having the whole house afraid of me.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that, gasping as he shoved my knees apart and discovered I wasn’t wearing any panties. “What about work? I don’t want to disturb you,” I protested weakly, already reaching blindly for his pants.
“Fuck work.”
“No, fuck me,” I insisted, reaching inside to grab a hold of his hard length.
“Yes, mistress,” he rumbled at my ear, flinging my shirt free and laying me down against the hard mahogany desk.
I gasped as my back came in contact with the cold, hard wood, the corner of something sharp digging into my shoulder, but I didn’t care. Especially when Aidan rammed his cock into me in the next instant. My head tipped back, breasts arching into his touch as he reached down to caress them. For once, my hands were free, and I covered his with mine, urging him to squeeze me harder. Aidan took his cues from me, urging my ankles around his waist to sink deeper, cock slamming into me wetly as he pumped faster and faster.
I didn’t expect to come like that, but it felt good, in a way I couldn’t describe. More than anything, I wanted him to use me, in that moment, take the pleasure I knew he deserved. But Aidan wasn’t about to take without giving, one hand leaving my breast to rub my clit in time with his strokes. There was no finesse or technique to it, no teasing or drawing things out. He fucked me good and hard, the friction between us incredible, tension building, until I thought I might die. I felt his ass clench under my hooked ankles, and I knew he was getting close.
“Come on, peaches. Come for me,” he said in that lover’s voice that almost tipped me over the edge alone. “You know you want to. Show me how much you like my cock.” He pinched my clit and my nipple at the same time, and I came apart.
“Yes, fuck yes!” I think I said more, but I was too busy trying to remember how to breathe as he grabbed hold of my hips and slammed into me harder than ever. Aidan gave a strangled moan as he came, his hands shaking my hips, grinding me against him as he pumped slower and slower, drawing out the pleasure for the both of us.
Aidan wrapped his strong arms around me, pulling me up into his embrace as he held me tight. I smiled into his neck, my fingers playing with the tangled strands of his hair, that looked blonder in the daylight. Somehow, we were going to make this work. I was sure of it.
~~~
Holy fuck, we’re making it work.
Aidan had been skeptical at first – terrified was probably a better choice of words – but somehow, Lily had shoved herself into his life, and he didn’t hate it. He loved it.
And not just for sex. They’d taken to sharing meals together, sometimes in front of the fireplace, or out on the terrace, always someplace where there was something else for her to focus on instead of him. He tried not to think about the fact that she could see him, even though she did her best not to meet his gaze, he knew there were times when she’d see his face.
Lily still had her own bedroom, and showered and dressed in her own space. And at night, if they hadn’t already spent the evening in the playroom together, she’d show up and climb into bed beside him. Sometimes for a marathon of sex that left them both drained but deeply satisfied, and sometimes just to sleep if she passed out while he was still reading, pretending to ignore her.
He was getting more comfortable around her, and enjoying their conversations and learning what made her tick. Sometimes she showed up in his office and curled up in a chair, completely ignoring him to read a book or bang away on her laptop. She deliberately disregarded his hints that she might be more comfortable reading somewhere else, and now… fuck all if he didn’t enjoy having her there. It was still too early to hope for more than this, but for the first time in over a decade, Aidan dared to believe he might have a shot at happiness.
Lily was the one to ask about wearing the sexy leather corset again, and despite his initial misgivings about her passing out, he had to admit, she looked hot as fuck in it. He was careful to lace her looser, and she promised to tell him if she felt the least bit faint. Aidan was pleased to find she seemed to share in his leather fetish, and for the first time, he was glad she could see him in his tight leather pants, even if he wasn’t comfortable with her looking above his shoulders. Maybe that time would come, and maybe it wouldn’t, but for the moment, he was content.
They sat on his office balcony, enjoying a light dinner, looking out on the grounds below. Per Lily’s request, he wore his oldest jeans, so worn they’d faded to a pale blue, soft as brushed cotton. She had on a brand new leather bustier and black silk panties – and nothing else – as bold as you please, enjoying the milder turn of weather on the private terrace. So far she was behaving admirably, her gaze fixed on the garden below, chatting on about roses or something. It didn’t matter, he could watch her for hours.
“So do you?” she asked suddenly, and Aidan snapped out of it, wondering what he’d missed.
“Do I what?”
“Do you think we can ever go out?”
“Out as in, in public?” Just saying it brought a bad taste to his mouth.
“Yes, out in public. Haven’t you been listening?”
Apparently not. “What for?”
“Because I want to go out some time.”
It was already starting, she was getting bored there with him. Shit. “Why?” he scowled, his good mood soured.
“So I can wear this under my clothes and only you would know,” she said with a wicked grin, knowing he was watching her, and a rush of excitement swept through him at the thought. God, how she pleased him – but not enough to go ahead with such an uncomfortable request.
“No, I don’t think so,” he replied, trying to ignore the slump of defeat in her shoulders. “Come here,” he ordered, gathering her into his lap. “What part of that do you find exciting? The being in public part, or the having a secret part?”
“All of it, I guess,” she shrugged. “I like the idea of us having a secret that only we know about, and everyone else thinks that we’re this boring, uptight couple, you know?”
He didn’t know, that was the point. He couldn’t go out in public without everyone staring at him – and that wasn’t just his fucking imagination. People sucked, and he only went out when he absolutely had a deal that needed his personal attention. It wasn’t as bad in Paris or Geneva, but in most cities in the USA, he felt deeply uncomfortable in public.
“If we went out, people wouldn’t think we were a boring, uptight couple. They’d be pointing and whispering, wondering what such a hot piece of ass is doing with an ogre.”
“Which one am I? The piece of ass, or the ogre?” she teased, nuzzling against his good cheek, her eyes closed. “Because the last time I checked, your ass was all kinds of hot.”
He smiled against her neck, unable to resist a quick lick of his favorite freckle. “I’m not sure I’m ready to share your ass with anyone yet.”
“But you think it might be a possibility for the future?”
Why did she always have to ask such hard questions? “I don’t know,” he answered as honestly as he could. “I’m trying, okay?”
“It’s very okay,” she smiled, lips covering his in a kiss that tasted of strawberries and cream. His hands slid down to cup her ass, and she deliberately squirmed, knowing exactly what that did to him as his cock instantly took notice.
“Is that the only reason why you want to go out?” He could always consider hosting a small party, with paid subordinates of course, if she felt like she needed an
audience to parade around in front of while teasing him to distraction.
“Well, I do miss my family. And I have no idea how my father’s doing since you took my phone away.”
Here it comes… Aidan braced himself, but she dropped it without pushing. “Are you trying to ask me for your phone back?” he finally asked, trying not to think about that boyfriend, Michael something, but once his mind went there, it was too late. Was this all an elaborate act? The kissy behavior, buttering him up by calling him hot? Was it all a scheme to get her phone back so she could get in touch with the guy?
“No,” she replied too quickly. “I mean, I’d love to talk to them if you let me. Or you could let me read my email. I just want to check in and see what’s going on at home. You could watch the whole time or listen in if you want to.”
How could he say no to that without sounding like an ogre? The clause in the contract had been originally set to punish her father, keeping him in the dark about what horrible things Aidan might be doing to his daughter, but they hadn’t been living per the terms of the contract for a while now.
“Yeah, go ahead and use my computer,” he said with a resigned sigh. “The password is peaches.”
“Oh, thank you!” she exclaimed with a delighted squeal, covering his face with kisses, which he mostly enjoyed, until she brushed against his scar and he pulled back.
“Okay, okay. Go do it now before I change my mind,” he growled, making no move to go in with her.
“You don’t want to watch?”
“Maybe later,” he replied with a wolfish grin, putting all kinds of promise into it.
“Thanks, Aidan.” She hugged him around the neck, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “And I will definitely hold you to that later.”
~10~
I settled into Aidan’s desk chair, wincing at the cool leather under my panties while I logged into his computer, my smile stretching from ear to ear. We’d made so much progress over such little time, I could barely remember what it’d been like the last time I’d sat in that chair, sneaking access. While I’d been surprised he hadn’t wanted to come and make sure I was doing as I’d said, I was careful not to abuse his trust, logging right into my email page in case he checked his history later.
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