“No, I’m not,” I retorted, not liking the gleam in her eye. “He let me come visit Dad because I thought he was dying.”
“Oh,” Cassie pouted in disappointment. “Did he come with you?”
“Who are you guys talking about?” Darlene frowned, still not on the same page. “I thought you were away at school?”
“The guy, remember? Aidan Pierce.”
Darlene’s face wrinkled with confusion. “Dad would never sell Lily, she’s his favorite,” she snorted. That was certainly news to me. I’d never heard him call me his favorite, only his baby – which me being the youngest, didn’t seem like a particular term of endearment. “Oh, is this for that sex contract thing?” Her eyes widened to fill her whole face. “Is that where you’ve been this whole time? Playing tie me up, tie me down with the old geezer Dad works for? I thought he bought his way out of that.”
“Aidan’s not an old geezer, and he’s… Ugh, never mind. I’m going to go visit with Dad and let him know I’m here.” I pushed my way past them, ignoring the gossipy chatter that continued even after I’d left the room. Then they’d both known about the contract and refused it before my father had brought it to me. Why hadn’t he told me that? He’d made it seem like he’d brought it to me first, because it was my responsibility – and I’d felt guilty enough to believe him.
I knocked softly before pushing Dad’s bedroom door open, waiting for half a beat before I entered, in case he was indisposed. He lay drowsing in bed, the nurse beside him clutching an e-reader like the secrets to the universe lay inside. Had she even heard me knock? I cleared my throat, and she still didn’t look up. Maybe she was hard of hearing?
“Excuse me, Jillian?” I said softly, and she raised a single finger, continuing to read until she got to the bottom of the page. She wore a pair of pale blue scrubs, like any nurse in a hospital, her golden hair pulled into a fat braid that disappeared down her back.
“Sorry,” she smiled, when she looked up. “It was finally getting to the good part.”
“I can relate,” I smiled back at her, any annoyance I’d felt at being put on hold evaporating at seeing her sheepish smile. “How is he?” I whispered.
“He’s doing fine. The medicine makes him sleepy, but he’s coming right along. You must be Lily, right?”
“Yes, and you’re Nurse Jillian.”
“Just call me Jillian,” she smiled, setting the e-reader down to offer me her hand. We moved to the door and chatted about his medical condition for a few minutes. He was on the mend, like Cass said, expected to be off of bed rest in the next week or so. She seemed to know what she was talking about, and I made a mental note to thank Aidan again for sending the nurse to us.
“Do you think I could talk to him, or should I let him sleep?”
“No, I think it’d do him good to see you. He talks about you all the time,” she smiled. “Let him know I went down to get his lunch started, okay? He’s very particular about his food, so you’ll have plenty of time to chat before I come back. He knows how to call me if there are any problems.”
“I will, thanks,” I smiled back, soothed by her cheerful presence. Knowing how much of a bear Dad could be, I wondered that she was able to keep in such good spirits.
Approaching the bed, I looked down at my father, watching him sleep. He seemed thinner than I’d last seen him, his graying hair more sparse, pallid scalp showing through. He’d worn a mustache for years, but it was clean shaven now, and he seemed smaller, more frail over all.
“Dad?” I said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. “Daddy, can you hear me?” I patted his arm gently.
His eyes opened, and there was no fog of sleep around him – eyes a sharp, steely blue. “Lily,” he frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to see you,” I smiled, waiting for his pleasure over my presence – which never materialized.
“I don’t understand. Have you displeased him? Has Mr. Pierce revoked the terms of the contract?” His eyes flew wide with confusion and fear, and I reached for his hand, patting it soothingly.
“No, it’s nothing like that. Aidan let me come to visit you when he found out how sick you are.”
My father looked away, pulling his hand from mine. “Like he gives a damn about my health,” he scowled.
“He’s the one who sent the nurses.” I leaned to the side, trying to catch his gaze, but he turned the other way.
“I didn’t ask him for any special treatment.”
“What’s the matter?” I frowned. This wasn’t exactly the reception I’d been picturing on the long drive back to the city. Why was he behaving so oddly? I knew he was in a grumpy mood for feeling crappy, but he acted like he didn’t want me there at all. “Dad?” I prompted, when he didn’t respond. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“I can’t even look at you,” he muttered. “All I can see is your sin.”
“What?” I felt like all the air had been sucked from the room, and my lungs burned until my reflexes kicked in and I took another breath.
“I saw that contract, I know what perverse needs of his you’ve had to fulfill.” His eyes darted to me and flicked away after delivering a devastating blow of contempt. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at you the same way again.”
What had happened to the man who couldn’t stop talking about me, like the nurse said? “I’m still the same person I was when I left,” I insisted, feeling sick to my stomach.
“Hardly,” he snorted. “You’ve shamed our entire family.”
That nausea tightened into anger, heat rippling up to my scalp. “I’ve shamed the family?” My voice climbed higher as I stared at him, incredulously.
“Keep your voice down,” he hissed.
“It’s your fault I had to do this!” I spat back at him, not caring who heard. His lips pressed together, and he still wouldn’t look at me. “No one else stepped up, I had to. Not Cassie, not Darlene. Do you think I enjoyed whoring myself out for you?” Okay, maybe I had, but that was entirely beside the point. He couldn’t have known how Aidan would treat me at the time he agreed to the deal. And still he said nothing, not even glancing in my direction.
“I should’ve let you go to prison,” I said, shaking my head. “You did the crime, how come I had to do the time?”
“A year wasn’t a bad bargain, and he even let you go early,” he said feebly and I stood, sick of being in his presence.
“Yeah, no thanks to you.” I didn’t tell him that I fully planned to go back to Aidan, not because of his stupid contract, but because I’d fallen in love with him. I didn’t tell him that Aidan was the best thing that’d ever happened to me, I was too livid. “You know, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at you the same way again.” And with that, I turned on my heel and headed for the door.
“Where are you going?” he called after me.
“I’m going out.”
~12~
I didn’t have a destination in mind as I started to walk, hands shoved deep into the pockets of my long coat. I couldn’t believe what an incredible assmunch my father was being, acting like I was the fucking criminal in the family. Like my behavior was something to be ashamed of when it was his fault I’d gone to Aidan’s in the first place. I should’ve told him I liked it. Hell, I loved the things Aidan and I did together, every sordid, kinky bit of it. If Aidan decided to chain me naked to the bed for a month as nothing more than his sex kitten, I’d say hell yeah, bring on the collar and cuffs!
For the first time in my life, I felt like going to a motel, even a cheap sleazy one, instead of going back to my father’s house. I didn’t think I could stomach seeing him again until I’d cooled off, and hanging out with my sisters wasn’t likely to speed that along.
Somehow, I ended up at the park, taking a seat at the end of a bench to watch the kids at play. To all outward appearances, I was no different from any of the other nannies, watching their charges (or scrolling through their phones), but I
felt apart from them. Cutoff from the real world, even though I sat smack dab in the middle of it. I needed something to soothe my nerves, and there was only one person I wanted to turn to.
“Hi,” I said, after Aidan picked up the call.
“What’s the matter?” he demanded, somehow sensing something was wrong from that single word.
“Nothing. Everything…” I poured out the entire story to him, from my lame sisters to my judgmental father, word for word. When I was done talking, the line got really quiet, and I wasn’t sure he was listening. “Aidan? Are you still there?”
“I’m here.”
“So what do you think? Am I overreacting?”
“I think they’re a bunch of assholes who don’t deserve you,” he said, and I had to laugh.
“I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I guess I need to work on my sweet talk then.”
“No, this was exactly what I needed to hear,” I smiled, settling more comfortably on the bench as some of the stiffness went out of my shoulders. “It just kind of caught me off guard, you know? This wasn’t how I expected the visit to go. I mean I’m glad Dad isn’t dying, but…”
“Come back home then.”
Home. I realized my home was with Aidan, not here with the strangers I called a family. The thought warmed me more than the sun that chose that moment to peek between the clouds. “I will, but I need to do a few things first.”
“Things like what?”
“Just a few things, wrap up some loose ends. I left town sort of quickly last time, you know?”
“Yeah, I guess I can understand that,” he allowed.
“I just wish I didn’t have to stay at my dad’s place. I don’t even have my own room anymore, the nurse took it over. Thanks again for sending her, she’s fantastic,” I added, remembering my first impression of Jillian.
“I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you check into the Waldorf Astoria for a few nights? Then you don’t have to see those assholes unless you want to.”
The Waldorf Astoria? That was the first place that came to mind when he thought of staying in the city? “Oh, I can’t afford…”
“You belong to me, right?” he cut me off.
“I guess I…”
“And I take care of what’s mine,” he continued, not missing a beat. “I insist. All I need to do is make one phone call and it’s done. Actually, I can take care of it online while we’re talking.”
“You really don’t need to do this. I can find a place on my own.”
“Of course you can. That’s not the question at hand.”
“Fine, but I don’t need to stay anywhere so opulent. Especially just for a few days.”
“It’s a done deal. You’re booked in the Towers Penthouse suite.”
I had no idea how much that cost, but my guess was it was more than most people paid for an entire month’s rent. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Thank you is the usual social convention, I believe.” The smirk in his voice came through loud and clear.
“Then, thank you, Aidan. I appreciate you looking out for me.” And despite my saying I didn’t need him to, it sure felt good to have him in my corner. “I wish you were here with me.”
The smug confidence faded from his tone. “That isn’t possible.”
“I know.” I didn’t expect him to blow through all of his boundaries all at once, it didn’t stop me from wishful thinking, though. “I just miss you.”
“I miss you too.” His simple admission brought the smile back to my lips.
“I miss you more.”
His voice dropped to a lusty purr. “Oh? Tell me about it.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
I glanced at my surroundings. “Because I’m at a park.”
“So? Are you sitting next to a bunch of nuns? No one’s listening to you, I promise. Tell me what you’re missing.”
How could I resist that voice? “I miss… you, all of you. I miss the way your arms feel around me, and…”
“And what?”
“And the way your beard tickles when you nuzzle up against my neck.”
“Is that the only thing you miss?”
I licked my lips, looking to my left. I didn’t think the girl on the next bench could hear me over the playing kids, but I wasn’t entirely sure. “I miss the way it tickles against my, um… thighs too.”
“Just your thighs? What about my tongue?” His voice dropped to a lower register, incredibly intimate at my ear. “Do you miss the way that tickles too?”
“Yes, tickles and more,” I admitted, a little breathless.
“I wish you were here now, I’d show you what I can do with my tongue.”
“Believe me, I remember.”
“Not well enough, or you’d be back by now.”
“I just got here,” I laughed.
“I know. But damn, my cock misses you already.”
Just hearing him talk about his cock had me pressing my thighs tighter together, picturing it in his hand as we talked. Was he stroking himself? I had to push that thought from my mind or I’d end up arrested for immoral acts in a public park. “It won’t kill you to go a few days without having sex, you know. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“It’s not doing my balls any favors though. They’re blue already.”
“My poor baby,” I laughed at his disgruntled tone. “I’ll have to fuck you twice as hard when I get back then.” I couldn’t help but tease.
“There’s my dirty girl. Tell me what else you’re going to do when you get back.”
Oh yeah, I think he was stroking it. “I think I’d rather surprise you. In fact, maybe I’ll pick up a few new things for the playroom while I’m in the city.”
“Things like what?”
“You’ll have to wait and see.”
“You’re a cruel mistress.”
“But you love every second of it.” He didn’t respond, and maybe I’d strayed too close to the L-word for his comfort. “I should probably go. The nannies are giving me weird looks. Probably because I’m sitting here squirming while I’m on the phone with you.”
“Call me tonight, we’ll talk more.”
“I have a better idea. Do you have Skype on your computer?”
“You mean like a video chat?”
“Yeah, wouldn’t that be sexier?”
“No. No it would not.”
Shit. Just like that, the playful sexiness was gone, replaced by tension, or maybe even anger. “You wouldn’t have to show me any part of yourself you’re not comfortable with, but you know I…”
“I have some work to do. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Aidan…”
“I’ll call you later.”
~~~
But he didn’t.
I wasn’t sure if I should call him, or what. I’d gone back to the apartment to pick up my suitcase, leaving the extra luggage behind and getting the hell out of there before I said anything else I might come to regret later. So far I had no regrets on that score, but I started to feel weird about the way I’d left things with Aidan.
He clammed up so fast whenever I pushed seeing him, and the stupid thing was – I loved the way he looked. He had nothing to feel self conscious about around me at all. I didn’t care about the scar, I didn’t even really see it anymore when I snuck a look in his direction. It was part of him, and I loved him, and that’s all that mattered to me. He meant more to me than a pretty face.
That got me to wondering – was that all I was to Aidan? I mean, I knew he cared about me in his own way, and didn’t seem to mind when I hung around outside of the bedroom, but did he see me as a person outside of his sexual playmate? Yes, I’d promised to go back to him, I loved him. But we hadn’t really talked about what that meant. Would I spend the rest of my life lounging around the house, waiting for him to be done with work for sexy fun time?
The hotel room was amazi
ng. No, strike that. It wasn’t a room, it wasn’t even a suite, it was like a fucking luxury apartment. I’m talking about a huge living room, full kitchen, two bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and a dining room for ten. Talk about a waste of space for one person! I almost thought about calling up some old friends for a slumber party, but really, what I wanted the most was to share it with Aidan.
We’d gotten so wrapped up in each other, I didn’t know how to be alone anymore. I tried taking a soak in the huge bathtub, but I got restless even before all the bubbles melted. I turned all the TVs on for some background noise, but it was hard to follow what was going on with any of the current shows, so I settled for a Friends marathon on TBS. I even stayed in, ordering up from room service instead of going out to eat, because I was afraid I’d miss his call, but it started to look like he was avoiding me.
Maybe it was weak of me, but I sent a text to Michael when I didn’t hear from Aidan. Not like a wanna hook up text, but letting him know I was in town in case he wanted to talk. I realized I hadn’t once thought about contacting him since Aidan had given me my phone back, and I figured I owed him an explanation of my bizarre behavior. For closure, if nothing else.
Michael called right away. “You’re in the city? I can be at your place in an hour,” he offered before I had a chance to say more than hello.
“No, I’m not at home.”
“Where are you then?”
I heard the frown in his voice; I’d gotten really good at picking things up by ear. I hesitated, not wanting him to show up at the expensive hotel with a hundred questions I didn’t want to answer. “I’m staying with a friend.”
“Well, let’s meet up. Tell me where, I’ll come and pick you up.”
“No, not tonight.”
“Tomorrow then?”
I hesitated, waffling back and forth over whether it would be better to tell him it was over on the phone now and be done with it once and for all, or to meet him in person. I knew I’d want to hear something like that face to face. “Okay, we’ll meet tomorrow. How about at Café Roma? I’ll meet you there around two o’clock?” That would give me some time to go shopping for a few of those toys I’d mentioned to Aidan. If sex shops were open that early, I had no idea.
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