by Aury Dobsyn
“I should nae have doubted ye. I’ll leave now to do yer bidding and return with all due haste.”
Sheets of rain pelted the thatched roof above and lightning illuminated the darken sky, as Lady Esme rushed out of the cottage. With the winds roaring like an angry beast, Ella felt a stab of guilt for sending the older woman out on such stormy night.
The ominous sound of crackling thunder startled Helena as she was tilting a goblet of water to Rachel’s mouth and Ella as she opened a window to allow a breeze into the cottage. They waited patiently and within the hour Lady Esme burst through the cottage door with two jugs in her hands and a wet nurse in tow. The younger women were vastly relieved to see that she was hale and hearty after enduring such foul weather.
Rachel woke long enough to swallow a small amount of water before succumbing to a sleep once again. As Ella predicted, fever came with a vengeance an hour later. Rachel’s peaceful sleep became fitful, followed by delirious speech and moments of uncontrolled thrashing. Ella advised Helena to take the babe and the wet nurse to her own cottage so they could have a peaceful night’s sleep.
The havoc beyond the walls of the cottage did nothing to alleviate the fear in Ella’s heart as she bathed Rachel’s burning body with vinegar and ale. Although her fever broke soon after, it returned continuously over the next few hours.
Midnight had come and gone when Gavin arrived, and upon Ella’s request, he escorted his mother to the castle for much needed sleep.
By mid afternoon the following day, Rachel’s fever broke yet again, but this time it did not return. Regardless of the new mother’s improving health, Ella was adamant about not allowing anyone in the cottage, including the women who assisted with the birth and Boyd, Rachel’s husband.
Boyd stoically remained outside the cottage since Ella had evicted him and soon became irate.
“I want to see my wife!” This had been said at least ten times since dawn.
“Nae, you will only endanger her further.”
“When?”
“Soon.”
“Ye said this hours ago.”
“Aye, I did.”
“I canna take this waiting.”
“The wait will soon be over, my friend. She improves each hour, and your son is quite hearty. For now, I implore you to bathe, eat and sleep. Your wife will have great need of you in the days ahead. I will send for you when I am confident that Rachel’s fever will not return.” When his face lit up, Ella quickly said, “But, it will be a very short visit and you must keep your distance.”
Rachel mood matched her husband’s.
“I want to see my son!”
Ella sighed as she repeated, “Nae.”
“Why will ye nae let me see my son?”
Ella sat down on the stool and started to brush Rachel’s freshly washed hair as she explained, “You know why. If the fever returns, your son would be at risk. After all the work you did to bring him into this world, it would be wise to practice a bit of patience. Also, you are weaker than a newborn kitten. Mayhap tomorrow. ”
Rachel folded her arms across her chest then glared over her shoulder at Ella as she spat, “And ye are naught but a vicious harpy.”
Her friend’s normal sweet disposition was masked by bristling indignation, but it did not dampen Ella’s high spirits. She understood the new mother longed for her child and was oblivious to the fragile state of her own body. Ella would not be swayed. Rachel’s life was too important.
60
By the break of dawn the next day, as the red and orange glow of the horizon began to crawl into the cloudless sky, Ella stood just outside the cottage staring down at Boyd. He sat on a bench next to the front door, with his son cradled in his arms, and a huge smile on his face,
“Is she well . . . may we see her?
Ella stroked the bairn’s head, then said, “Aye, Boyd, your wife will be just fine. Or she will be once she sees you and the bairn. You may go in now.”
“Lady Ella, I canna thank ye enough for what ye have done for me and my family.”
“There is no need for thanks. All I ask is that you look after Rachel for a few hours, while I get some rest.” Then in a stern voice, she added, “You will check each hour to see if she becomes feverish, aye?”
Too happy to be ashamed of the tears that streamed down his face, he replied, “Aye, milady.”
Ella heard the couple’s tearful reunion as she shut the door to the cottage. She remembered her mother once saying that the cries of joy heard after aiding someone was the greatest reward possible for a healer. Aye, Mama, you were right.
She was escorted back to the castle moments later by Iain, who was ecstatic about being an uncle. He thanked her numerous times for saving the lives of Rachel and his nephew. He also informed her that the wet nurse agreed to continue feeding the babe as long as was necessary.
By the time Ella reached the corridor that lead to her chamber, the effects of the two sleepless nights, added with the emotional strain, had caught up to her. She swayed with exhaustion as she passed Gavin’s chamber, then was startled when the chamber door across from his opened and revealed Alice.
“Good morning, milady,” the maid said with a triumphant smirk on her face.
A sennight ago, Ella learned that Gavin’s leman had occupied the chamber across from his, but had been cast out when he returned from England with his intended bride. She had not been angry at the time, since he had bedded the whore before they were married. But now, seeing Alice emerge from that chamber, made her immediately suspicious of the buxom maid.
Not bothering to conceal her ire, she demanded, “Explain yourself!”
“Yer husband ordered me to return to the chamber I occupied before yer arrival,” Alice snickered.
Shocked and held immobile, Ella stared at her husband’s lover. Dejection soon yielded to fury that he had reclaimed his leman. God must hate me.
Once again her heart was brutally ripped apart, this time by Alice’s words. The scattered pieces blackened with soul deep hatred as she thought about two days hence, when Gavin had tried to make love to her. Like a scared rabbit, she had run from him, thus pushing him back into this whore’s welcoming arms.
Brushing passed Alice, she retreated to her chamber and crumbled to the bed, then allowed anguish to engulf her. Let him take Alice to his bed, I no longer care. Not for happiness lost once again.
61
Gavin had slept very little the past two days, due to his overwhelming concern for his wife. He had ridden out during the early morning hours to assess the damage the storm at done to his land. When he was satisfied all was well, he returned to the keep.
Upon entering the hall midmorning, he had been informed that Ella had returned and was slumbering in her chamber. He was anxious to see her and express his pride in the miracle she had accomplished with Rachel, but had no intention of apologizing for trying to make love to her two days prior.
He refused to feel any guilt over his attempt to seduce her or take the blame for the deaths of her aunt and uncle. He understood that her pain was so great it made it difficult to see clearly that her loved ones would have died regardless of her marriage. He believed in time she would see the truth, but his hope and patience were rapidly dwindling.
After a few hours sleep, Ella woke to Lady Esme sweet voice.
“Good morrow, lass.”
As the peace of her short slumber evaporated, reality and misery set in, but she gave no evidence of it in the presence of her mother-in-law.
“Since you are smiling, I will assume Rachel is well.”
“Aye that she is . . . thanks to ye.”
She shrugged as she left the bed and went to sit on the window seat, stubbornly refusing to engage in any conversation.
Lady Esme suspected something was amiss, but did not voice her concern. Instead, she said, “I have ordered ye a bath and will assist ye-”
“I nae need assistance. As you well known, I am quite used to bathing myself.”
When Ella saw that her terse words had hurt the kind woman, she was immediately contrite and said, “Please, take nae offense. You are that last person I wish to hurt. ‘Tis just that I need some time alone.”
Lady Esme was not offended and sensed that her son’s wife did need some time to herself. In that maternal, understanding voice she said, “Take all the time ye need, sweetling.”
Once the servants finished filling the huge wooden tub and Ella was finally alone, she sank into the soothing bath. Engulfed by the steaming water, she tried not to think about Gavin's infidelity. She felt foolish for allowing him into her heart. But her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door closing and the appearance of an unwelcomed guest within her chamber.
Ella growled, “What do you want, Alice?”
With mock innocence, she said, “I have only come to help.”
“I neither need nor wish your help. Leave!”
Ella was proud that she had recovered her backbone and was more than ready to confront this manipulative bitch standing so brazenly before her.
With her hands on her hips, Alice glared down at Ella and said, “I can see why yer husband dinna seek yer bed. Nae man would want a wife whose body will be forever marred by those hideous scars that cover yer back. Do ye honestly think a man would want to look, let alone touch-”
Ella jumped out of the tub, threw on a robe, and then screamed, “Get out now before I kill you.”
Alice had not been prepared for the threat or the malevolent expression that came with those words. However, when she turned to leave she was confronted in the doorway by Thea, whose innocent eyes confirmed that she’d heard what passed between her and Lady Ella.
“Get out of my way, brat.”
“Ye canna talk to Ella that way. I’m gonna tell-”
Thea’s words were cut short when the blow to her cheek sent her sprawling to the floor. Fighting through pain and tears, she covered her cheek with her hand, then scrambled to her feet and took flight.
It was not the first time Alice had been cruel to Thea, but she had never slapped her in the face before now. Frightened for herself as well as Ella, the little girl race down the corridor to her parent’s chamber, then dove under their bed.
Ella’s seething rage was unleashed when she saw Alice slap Thea. She lunged at the harlot, knocking her into the wall of the corridor, and then with a closed fist, punched her in the face. Ella felt no sympathy when she viciously threw Alice to the ground and dug her knee into the whore’s back.
Grabbing the back of her head and twisting her red locks in her hand, Ella snarled, “If you ever touch that child again, I swear only God will recognize your face after I’m through with you. And I will nae stop there. Think you a man will want a woman who has stumps instead of hands?”
“What is the meaning of this,” Gavin bellowed as he ripped Ella off Alice.
Ella continued to scowl at the vile creature, even as her husband tightened his grip on her upper arms.
“She attacked me,” Alice cried out. “I came to offer my assistance and when I commented that her scars were nae so bad, she lashed out. Ye must punish her.”
“Is this true, wife, did ye attack Alice?”
“Aye.”
Gavin dragged Ella into her chamber, slammed the door behind him, than growled, “Explain.”
When she ignored him, he roughly pushed her away, then stated, “Ye will stay in this chamber until ye obey me and explain why ye attacked Alice.”
“I will never obey you,” Ella retorted defiantly. “I will never obey a man who continues to prove he has no honor. Go back to your leman, for I will never accept you as my husband.”
His wife may have learned that Alice had been his leman, but there was no excuse for her jealous tirade.
“So be it,” he stated before he slammed the door, leaving her alone in the chamber.
62
Ella stayed locked in her chamber throughout the day and long into the night. Even though food and drink were brought to her chamber, due to her confrontation with Gavin, she could barely eat.
Maeve was confident that Alice deserved the beating she took from Ella, and she was more that eager to hear the details of the fight. Unfortunately, the younger woman remained stubbornly silent.
Ella knew she was acting immaturely, but she was so hurt by all the recent events caused by her husband, that she adamantly refused to give into his demands. Images of Alice and Gavin ran wild in her mind and solidified her decision to remain quiet.
By the time night fell and the sky was beset with thousands of stars, she could no longer cry over the loss of her husband to another woman. She changed into her knee length, sleeping gown, but instead of seeking her bed, she sat on the floor in the dark. Alone with her thoughts for what seemed like hours, she realized that the harder she ignored the truth the harder it persisted.
She could no longer blame Gavin for the death of her aunt and uncle. Both Colban’s and Bowen’s words had made her recognize the truth, that he had done everything possible to save them from the inevitable. And before today, she believed she was falling in love with him.
Their morning rides together through his lavish land allowed them time to bridge the gap that had formed the day they became man and wife. And it became increasingly more difficult to deny the attraction she felt for him. She enjoyed his bantering, sarcastic ways as much as his earnest, stubborn debates. Most of all, she like the way his eyes locked with hers as he listened to her words. It made her feel beautiful and wanted.
But, like so many times before, she had been a fool to hope for happiness and a future. When would she learn to give up those impossible dreams of being loved and wanted, of being part of a family again. Even if Gavin had not gone back to his leman, their marriage was destined to end just the way it began, in ruin.
Ella’s father would return soon from seeking an audience with the King, and then Gavin would learn the true identity of the woman he had wed. Ella would then be banished, and their marriage annulled. The pain of that last thought made her spirits sink even lower, and brought forth the fatigue that came with desolation.
Just as she was about to crawl into bed, she heard Gavin’s chamber door open, then close. Distasteful thoughts hit her full force, imagining her husband with his whore, and hearing their passionate cries as they made love. Is that how Gavin planned to punish her?
To Ella’s profound relief, the only sounds she heard for the next few hours came from the crickets outside. Close to midnight Gavin’s chamber door creaked opened and closed once again. She almost groaned when she left her bed to listen more intently. He is probably going to her chamber.
Ella put her ear to the thick stonewall, surprised that she could hear his voice and that he did not sound pleased. She crept along the wall that separated their chambers, seeking out an area to hear his words more clearly. Moving the tapestry aside, she was momentarily stunned by the sight of a door. She quickly realized that her husband must have used this door to enter her chamber the night he consummated their vows.
Pushing aside the disturbing memory, Ella cautiously opened the door and stepped into the narrow space between the two chambers. Ironically, she was not hindered by guilt as she gingerly lifted the latch and pushed on the opposite door, leaving it slightly open. It too was hidden behind a tapestry on the other side, but left ajar she could now hear the conversation within his chamber.
63
“I have been waiting for ye, my love,” Alice said seductively.
The entire castle had been searching for Alice since Leif discovered Thea quaking with fear in their parent’s bedchamber. Leif saw the bruise on his sister’s face moments before learning the horrific details. He carried his sister to the hall so that their parents, as well as their laird, would learn the truth to why Lady Ella had attacked Alice.
Still livid with rage, Gavin barley noticed that Alice was naked on his bed. He stood in the middle of the chamber with scalding fury lit in hi
s eyes, knowing exactly what this woman had said to his wife and had done to Thea.
He repeated his earlier statement. “What are ye doing here?”
“I think my intentions are quite obvious,” Alice said as she moved to kneel on the bed.
“When I returned from England with Ella, I informed ye I would nae longer take ye to my bed.”
“Yer scarred, unwilling wife will nae have ye, but I will,” she taunted.
At hearing the vile insult, his control snapped. He lunged forward, ruthlessly yanking her off the bed by her arm until her face was almost touching his.
His voice was low, his words slow when he stated, “Listen, well, ye selfish bitch. My wife is the only woman I want in my bed, will ever want in my bed, and I will wait for as long as it takes to be with her. In my eyes those scars only confirm what I already ken about her. That there is nae a woman alive whose beauty compares to that of my wife. In forty years, she will still be the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon.”
“Ye dinna mean that, ye-”
“Silence! For what ye have done to my wife and to Thea, ye are hereby banished from the Macleod clan.”
“Nae, nae. . .”
“I warn ye now, if ye ever step foot on my land again I will lock ye in the dungeon for the remainder of yer days.”
“How can ye do this, treat me like I dinna even matter to ye? I gave myself to ye believing in my heart it was our destiny to be together.”
“I took what ye eagerly offered, and what many others had sampled afore me. I made ye nae promises of marriage. As for destiny, mine lies in that chamber,” Gavin said as he pointed in the direction of Ella’s chamber.
“Only because I dinna have a dowry, but then ye took her as yer wife. She brought naught to ye or our clan,” Alice cried as her dreams crumbled around her.