by Vivian Arend
Her throat choked tight, and he squeezed her fingers. He led her into the trees and up a narrow path. By the time they broke out above the city, she could breathe again.
She stood looking down at the narrow streets nestled against the Yukon River, the hills on the other side still showing their scars from the years of dredge mining. The massive machines had followed the hand miners, scooping up layers of rock and soil to shift out every bit of gold, leaving chunks of broken rubble in their wake.
That was her.
Scarred. Beaten, and pulled apart until there was nothing left of value. At least, that’s what she’d felt like before meeting Erik. She sighed. If only it was as easy as bulldozing the rocks aside and planting flowers to cover the scars on her heart.
Erik wrapped his arms around her from the back, pulling her against his warm body. “We need to deal with this tonight. I’m pretty sure the next challenge is going to involve us having to shift. We need to talk.”
Anger flared. “This is about me being able to shift? For the Games?”
She would have torn herself from his grasp, but suddenly iron bands held her in place.
“Don’t. I know you’re scared, but don’t deliberately try to turn this into a fight to avoid talking to me. I’ve given you time and space. I just want what’s best for you and I don’t give a shit if you ever change into a wolf.”
He spun her around and clasped her chin, his dark eyes searching hers intently.
“I refuse to stand by and let you face tomorrow unprepared. If I’m right, there will be dozens of wolves surrounding you. I won’t allow you to walk into that kind of a situation without me trying to take away a little of your fears. You’ve asked me to wait before joining with you, and even though it’s been hell, I’ve waited. But don’t ask me to not be your mate, to not protect you when I can. Because I won’t do it. My wolf won’t let me, and neither will my human morals.”
She stared at him, her limbs trembling as she realized for the first time she was with someone stronger than her who she could really trust. The ache in her soul urged her on.
“You won’t tell Missy?”
He jerked back in surprise. “Doesn’t she know?”
She shook her head. “She knows parts, but…” Shame covered her. Her own sister had suffered because of Maggie’s weakness.
He spread out the blanket he’d brought, sat and pulled her into his lap. Resting her head against his chest, not looking into his eyes, made it easier to speak. She thought for a moment, then simply told her story.
“I don’t know why we moved away from Whitehorse. Mom and Dad died before I got a real answer out of them, but Missy and I always suspected it had something to do with our new Alpha in Whistler. He found out something he held over Dad’s head to make him move. Once we were in the pack at Whistler, there was no escape for any of us.”
She swallowed hard. “The summer I was seventeen, Missy turned twenty-one. Our Alpha wanted her to marry his brother. He was trying to gain control of her Omega skills, but we didn’t know it at the time. Missy only knew Jeff wasn’t her mate, and she refused. So they…” She shivered and burrowed deeper into his arms as if his presence could protect her from the memories.
“They came after you?”
She nodded. “I ran. I hid as a human and when they found me, I shifted and ran again. There were six or seven of them, and every time I shifted there was someone in that form to torment me. They hit me.” Her voice broke. “They hurt me.”
His body tightened under her, indignation and anger pouring off him and forming a protective wall around them. Nothing could touch her right now. He stroked her hair silently for a moment, his heart pounding under her ear.
“Did they rape you?” He spoke softly, gently.
“I don’t know!” She squirmed her way back to stare at him. “It sounds so stupid, but I really don’t remember. I can feel them grabbing me—my human body—and throwing me on the floor. I shifted, and then there were wolves on top of me, trying to mount me. I shifted back and they tore my skin.” She lifted her blouse and twisted to show him the scars along her lower back and her hips. “I shifted so many times in a short period of time I passed out, exhausted from the effort. The next thing I remember is being at home in bed, and Missy telling me she was engaged to Jeff. Dad had made promises to the Alpha, and she was furious. I never said a word, but I know it was my fault she ended up in that marriage. Dad sold her off to save me.”
She thought she’d already wept all the tears possible over this. Thought the well had run dry and she had nothing left but a cold stone for a heart. But in Erik’s arms, his scent surrounding her, she found sorrows she’d never realized she still clung to. Great racking sobs shook her until she was gasping for air.
Erik rocked her, cradled her, his presence embracing her even closer than his arms. He poured love over her, acceptance. His anger simmering underneath didn’t frighten her. It reassured her she would never, ever have to face a situation like that again.
When she could speak there was a quiver in her voice. “I left right afterward and never went back. I worked summers and attended UBC and I never shifted into a wolf. Missy and I kept in touch via email and phone, especially after Mom and Dad died in a car accident, but I refused to physically go back to Whistler. Every now and then I’d see pack members hanging around outside my classes, like they were keeping track of me.” She shuddered. “Once, they tried to get into the apartment I shared with Pam, but I told her they were cousins I didn’t want to see, and somehow she got rid of them.”
“I knew I liked her for a reason.”
She snorted, and wiped at her teary eyes. “Yeah, well, she thinks you’re a little freaky. You know, she’s about the best friend I’ve ever had. Brave and loyal, and fearless and fun, all at the same time. So often I wanted to tell her about being a wolf, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk her leaving me.”
Erik handed her a hanky, and she wiped her face clean. She settled back into his arms, his comfort healing her pain. They sat together for a long time, Erik rubbing her back and whispering foreign phrases to her. She had no idea what he was saying, but the words soothed her, eased the ragged edges around her heart.
“I can see why being around wolves frightens you. Not only was your Alpha a rotten bastard, the whole pack was diseased.”
Maggie ran a hand up his forearm to caress his biceps. Touching him made her feel so much better. “I’m surprised you’re not offering to go rip out their throats.”
“Oh, I’m thinking about it. But your brother-in-law, Tad, already killed the Alpha who instigated the whole thing. What I plan in retaliation for the others’ sins you don’t have to know about.”
She sat up quickly. “You’re not going after them.”
“They hurt you, you’re my mate. There will be an accounting.”
“I didn’t tell you this so you’d go off half-cocked killing people.”
Erik raised a brow. “Killing them. Okay, I had other things in mind, but now that you mention it—”
“Stop it. It happened a long time ago. It’s been seven years.”
“Yet you’re still hurting. Sounds like I have cause to give them pain.”
She opened her mouth to speak and then froze. Oh damn it. Damn, damn, damn.
He was right.
Maggie scrambled out of his lap and stared down at his dark eyes in horror. A light bulb went on in her head, and she could clearly see herself in the room again, the wolves still attacking her. It was like she’d locked the door and never let them go.
She paced toward the nearby trees, grappling with the revelation. She’d suffered years of mental pain and confusion. Loneliness like only a pack animal separated from family could experience. Even the physical weakness caused by locking her wolf away—
None of it had been necessary.
She turned to face him. Her gentle giant, staring back with love in his eyes, concern and anger warring in his heart. He’d seen clearly so
many times in the past days exactly what she needed. Was it the mate connection that made him able to cut down the walls and help her break free?
Suddenly she knew part of what she needed.
Him.
Two steps forward returned her to where he sat. “This isn’t about them, it’s about me.” He moved to speak and she held up her hand. “No, wait and listen. It’s true, I’m still in pain. I deliberately didn’t see any wolves for years. I didn’t visit with my sister in person, and I haven’t been able to shift to my wolf in forever. They stole a part of me away and I let them. Ah shit, I let them.”
“Maggie…no, don’t blame yourself. They were the ones who were wrong. You did nothing to deserve this.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you see? That’s what I’m saying, I felt I did deserve it. It was my fault Missy was trapped, so I let my wolf become trapped as well in punishment. Oh hell, I’ve been so stupid.”
Erik closed his eyes, and she felt the rush of his power flow over her. She gasped at the depth of it, the richness of the sensation soaking into her very pores. When he opened his eyes, he held out his hand and she grabbed it like a lifeline. “Maggie, I don’t know what to say. My brilliant plan to show you my wolf and try to ease your fears seems trite and childish as a solution.
“I feel the strength inside you. Your wolf is powerful, and she wants to help you through this. Your heart is so strong, but you’ve been using your strength to carry a burden that wasn’t yours. I meant what I said about not caring if you shift. Only I’d hate to see her trapped forever when together you can be happy again. Truly happy.”
“So if tomorrow is a wolf-only challenge, what would you do?” she whispered.
He shrugged. “As far as I’m concerned, we can go home. This is a game, what you’re talking about is real life.”
Maggie shook her head. “No! If we go home that’s another thing they’ve stolen from me. From the boys, and the pack. No more. I’ve had enough of them taking my life away. I want to compete, and I want to get my life back on track.” Tears filled her eyes again. She dropped to her knees at his feet and clasped his big hands in hers. “Help me.”
Erik rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I agree you need to take back control of your life, but Maggie…” He cupped her face in his hand. “You’ve been reclaiming your life. Ever since you started back north you’ve taken charge and made changes. If you can’t finish it all in a few days, you’re still well on the way. They aren’t winning anymore. You’re the one in control of the game now. Okay?”
Her heart leapt. It was true. She nodded jerkily.
“Summer solstice is tomorrow. I think that should help.” He pulled off his shirt, and her mouth watered. Firm muscles tempted her. Distracted her from the emotional rollercoaster she’d just raced over. The urgent desire to run her tongue over his body chased away all other thoughts.
How had they resisted completing their mating until now? It was another stone to cast at the feet of her tormentors. Then he was naked, every glorious mile of him spread out like a banquet before her.
“I have no idea how this is supposed to help my wolf, but damn you’re fine.”
He laughed. “You’re drooling.”
She wiped at her mouth in response, flushing when he laughed again. “Tease.”
“I like the look in your eyes.”
Maggie lifted her gaze to his. “You’re much better looking than TJ. At least to me.”
Erik patted the blanket beside him. “I thought I’d change to my wolf, but I want you to be sure you understand it’s me, no matter what form I take. If I frighten you, just tell me to shift back and I will.”
“I’ve been around TJ’s wolf for three days.”
He frowned. “Sweetheart, I hate to remind you, but TJ is young and not as powerful as you. He’s also not nearly as big as I am. When we do have a shifter challenge there will be few wolves my size. If you can get comfortable around me, that’s the first step.”
Maggie nodded. “Makes sense.”
“Touch me.”
She ran her hands up his chest, over all that hard muscle and tight skin, leaning closer to brush their lips together. The thrill of connection shook her to the core even as their lips stayed soft and sweet. She took her time, tracing the tattoos on his shoulders and arms, brushing the stiff hair on his head. She stroked her hands down his abdomen, skirting his erection.
Oh heavens. Distraction at its very finest.
“I think I should shift now.”
She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the evidence of just how much he really wanted her.
“Maggie, did you hear me? I’m going to shift.” A tug on her arm made her drag her gaze back to his face. Erik wore a huge grin. “Although that’s a very nice expression you’ve got right now.”
“Okay, Wolfman, let me clap for you.”
Shimmering light flashed, transposing images registered on her retinas, and Erik lay on the blanket, all claws and black fur and teeth, and for one awful second, her heart stopped. She closed her eyes and felt for him. It was still Erik. Still the same sensation of power rolling off him, the same love and caring being projected. Gentleness mixed with his incredible strength.
Between the two of them, there was nothing they couldn’t accomplish.
Suddenly, that was all she needed. The final wall fell.
“Shift. I need to…I want to…”
She waited, shaking with the fever rippling through her veins. Her blouse came off in one motion, her skirt and bits of underwear flying after it. He changed back, his solid body reforming until he lay on the blanket, naked. She leapt on him, into his arms, tears pouring from her eyes.
“What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you too fast. You don’t have to change. Maggie? Why are you naked?”
She sealed her mouth to his, stealing his words, taking his response. She lay skin-to-skin on top of him, his erection pressing against her belly. She wanted him. Needed him desperately, and there was nothing that would stop her.
He rolled them over, pausing before he covered her. He tangled his fingers in her hair, his tongue stroking and dancing with hers. The wind rustled the leaves overhead, swirls of his power wrapping around them. The pulsing beat between her legs jumped in tempo when he dragged a hand down her body and cupped her breast in the palm of his hand.
When he pulled back they both gasped for air. He stroked his thumb around the tender skin of her nipple, circling again and again as he stared into her eyes. “Are you sure? Make no mistake, I love you and I want you, but I will wait until you’re really ready. Don’t do this to try and convince your wolf to rise. Don’t do this unless you mean it.”
Maggie brought her hands to cradle his face. He was so damn big it was easy to forget just how tenderhearted he really was. Her wolf danced inside, waiting to be set free. But before she let her out, she wanted to please the woman.
“The mate thing? It’s there, I feel the chemistry between us. But my head says I love you as well. My wolf loves you. And now we need to stop talking and I need you inside me. Please.”
He closed his eyes, his face tight with restrained desire. “I didn’t want this to happen here. In the wilderness, no soft bed. I wanted it to be special.”
She slapped his shoulder. “Damn, it is special. It’s you, and me and that’s—”
He leaned over to consume her.
Chapter Ten
Soft warm skin under his mouth, her scent filling his head. If he never saw another sunrise, just the memory of this moment—his mate accepting him—would keep him warm for the rest of his life.
She caressed his body, her hands tiny against his chest, over his shoulders. Her touch teased and tormented and he slipped a line of kisses down her torso, partly in an attempt to escape to where he could concentrate on her without being distracted. He cupped her breasts in his hands, the dark skin of her nipples crinkling tight as he lapped at them. First one then the other, licking and nipping
and sucking until Maggie panted and writhed under him.
“I love the way you taste.” He licked her belly button and she laughed, her torso shaking.
“You talk too much.”
“Hmm, you think?”
“Oh. Oh. Oh yes…”
Erik smiled against her core, his tongue tracing lazy circles around the rigid nub of her clitoris. He continued his assault, his tongue and fingers playing her like an instrument, now fast, now slower. The sounds of delight she made changed with his tempo until she tightened around his fingers, her sheath squeezing the two fingers he’d buried in her depths.
Again and again he lapped at her, lifting her hips high in the air to pull her closer to his eager mouth. The connection between them grew stronger the longer they touched, and the control he’d wound up, tight as a corkscrew, slowly began to unravel. Destiny meant for them to be together, but after hearing her confession he admired her more than ever. She was brave and bright, and she drove him totally and completely mad with lust.
“Erik!”
He stilled his hand where he’d reached under her hips to caress between her cheeks. A light sheen of sweat broke out on her skin and as she lay before him, her body shaking with another orgasm, he’d never seen a more beautiful sight.
“I love you.” He lowered her hips to the blanket and crawled over her, needing to taste her lips again. She clung to his neck and attempted to pull their bodies together. He laughed against her mouth, unwilling to crush her with his weight. She arched under him, rubbing their torsos together, stoking his fires hotter. Moisture from her crotch painted his skin and he groaned. Gotta keep it slow. No matter how much he wanted to thrust into her, bury himself in her sweetness. He kissed her, anchored on his elbows to keep them apart.
Maggie poked him in the ribs. “You’re too big.”
“I’m not even touching you yet.”
She laughed with delight and pushed him until he sat up. “Nothing wrong with your ego, is there?” She straddled his thighs, her breasts crushed against his chest, the heat of her pussy now lined up properly with his aching shaft. “Missy wondered if we’d have to—”