by Lily White
“Is everything alright, Sue? You look like you’re about to tell me bad news.”
Finally settling her attention on me, she asked, “Have you heard from Mary Beth since yesterday at work? I know she was upset when she left, but I assumed she’d come back for her next shift. She can’t possibly be that upset about Mr. Bates taking you out for dinner.”
“I haven’t checked my phone. She might have called. What time was she supposed to come in?”
“She was supposed to be in an hour before you.”
Dread washed over me and I moved out from behind the desk and towards the employee office. “Let me go check my phone. She hasn’t called?”
I wasn’t surprised that Mary Beth hadn’t shown up. She was often late, especially when she was in the middle of one of her many dramatic issues, mostly involving men. When Sue shook her head ‘no’, the dread deepened.
My phone showed no calls and I returned to the reception desk. Sue’s expression fell when she saw me.
“I’ve tried calling her house, Autumn, with no answer. I don’t know why, but I’m really worried about Mary Beth.”
Lucas
Exiting my car, I pulled at the back of my jacket to bring it over my head. It rained in this town 23 hours out of the day, every day, and for the hundredth time, I considered investing in an umbrella. When I managed to get into the building, carrying my briefcase and without a hair out of place, my hands tugged at the sleeves of my jacket to pull it straight. It wasn’t until I was satisfied with my appearance that I opened the large double doors and let myself into the main reception area of the library.
Autumn stood at the reception desk with the older woman I’d met the day before at the signing. Their attention turned to me when the doors snapped closed at my back and Autumn chewed on her bottom lip nervously. Nodding my head, I acknowledged them, but chose not to disturb their conversation. By the time I made it back to the research section of the building, I heard tentative footsteps approaching from behind me in the hall.
“Lucas.”
Spinning on my heel, I faced her – my eyes landing on two blue orbs stained red by her tears. My briefcase hit against the floor at the same time that I reached her.
“What’s wrong?” I tipped her face up to me by placing my finger beneath her delicate chin. She blinked up at me, her bottom lip still trapped beneath her white teeth. I pulled it loose with my thumb, brushing over the soft surface before releasing her.
Stepping back, she turned her eyes to the floor, sucking in a deep breath and rolling her shoulders back before returning her attention to me. “It’s Mary Beth. Sh – She didn’t show up for work today.”
I closed my eyes in response to her words. Pulling in an anxious breath, I opened them again. Anger swirled in those accusing eyes. I’d be lying if I said I was sad that Mary Beth had disappeared. However, I will admit guilt when it came to the effect it had on Autumn.
“I remembered that she was texting you last night. When did she stop? And …” She looked to the floor again, her body still as if she were made of stone. Her determination was evident from the expression on her face when she glanced back up. “I need to see the texts, Lucas. Mary Beth is missing.”
Rolling my head around on my neck, I attempted to relieve the tension in my muscles. Anger rolled over me and I was at a loss as to how I would convince Autumn not to demand my phone. The last thing I needed was for her to see the texts between Mary Beth and I until I could determine how best to manage the situation.
“How do you know that she’s missing? She could have simply slept in. Has anybody been to her house? Perhaps this is nothing more than a small problem blown out of proportion.”
“I’m about to call the fucking cops, Lucas!”
I don’t know what surprised me more: the volume with which she’d spoken to me or the fact that the word ‘fuck’ had dared grace her pure lips. Stepping forward, I inwardly chuckled at her rushed retreat back. For every inch I crept forward, she moved five and when I finally had her up against a wall, I smiled.
“Not so brave now? Are you?”
Her shoulders shook lightly and her hand came up to push the frame of her glasses up her nose. Although my eyes were locked to hers, I noticed she wouldn’t look at me directly, choosing instead to look over my shoulder at some random point in the distance.
“Look at me, Autumn.” My finger came below her chin once again, but this time, rather than simply moving the focus of her lovely eyes to mine, she resisted. My teeth bit down on the inside of my lip and I breathed in deeply, attempting to diffuse the heat rushing along my spine from the small embers of rage.
I gripped her chin between my forefinger and thumb, securing her in place as I brought my lips to her ear. “Has a few hours turned you cold towards me once again?”
I bent my knee forward, barely pressing into the crease between her closed legs. The cotton of her knee length skirt moved against the silk of her stockings and I thanked God that the room was quiet enough for me to pick up on that exquisite sound. It was the little nuances and hints of sex that got to me the most. The brush of my hand against the tip of a woman’s breast, the sound my fingers make while rubbing up against her clothes. It was the moment of sinful anticipation; the moment when I decided whether to play hard or soft on the woman I had pinned beneath me. I wanted them surprised, shocked, caught off guard in some manner or form. It made them more pliable, with less time to consider what was being demanded of them.
My smile grew when she moved her hips in an attempt to escape me. I wished like hell that it was my hand sitting where my knee rested up against her.
With my lips still pressed to her ear, I asked, “Do you blame me for your friend’s disappearance?”
She was quiet for a few moments, the heat of her breath rolling over my neck, my eyes noticing the strain of her skin over her collarbone. She was frightened, that much was obvious, but she wasn’t backing down, not immediately, anyway.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you, Mr. Bates. I …” She breathed out deeply, the sudden collapse of her chest removing the slight touch of her breasts against my abdomen. She was so small compared to me; a delicate woman in both mind and body, easily breakable, but not so easily tamed.
“It’s just that I remembered you’re the last person I know who’s heard from her. I’m not blaming you.” Her voice dropped away into silence and I couldn’t help but reach up to brush my finger along her cheek. She attempted to move, but I wasn’t done with her. I refused to let her slide away from me when the heat of her body against mine was so decadent. I felt drunk from the sensation.
“You know, I was disappointed last night when I had to leave before I could give you a proper goodbye.”
My hand brushed down her cheek, over her jaw and along the length of her neck. She shivered beneath my touch, her breath coming out in quickening spurts, her heartbeats thudding so loud, they were like drums inside my head.
“I’ll have to rectify that. I will have you, Autumn. It’s just a matter of when.”
Pushing my knee against her harder, she gasped when I rubbed up between the apex of her thighs, stimulating and arousing before I abruptly pulled away.
Laughing to myself, I knew the rumble of my amusement vibrated along where her body came in contact with mine. “But, for now, it appears we have another matter to take care of.”
My hand was against the wall and I pushed myself away from her, leaving her quivering in place, breathless. Her eyes opened and it seemed as if she’d lost focus, taking a minute to break the way she stared at me, shaking her head to return back to the here and now.
“Ummm…”
An audible laugh escaped me at the sound of her shaky voice and I turned to retrieve the briefcase I’d dropped to the floor on my way over to my favorite table in the shadowed corner of the room. I didn’t glance back at her because I was no longer interested in her little ‘problem’. Mary Beth no longer concerned me and I had no desire to discuss the s
tupid whore any further.
As it stood, Autumn wasn’t about to let the subject go.
“When was the last time you heard from her, Lucas?”
Breathing out an annoyed sigh, I pulled my glasses from my coat pocket and put them on. I took a moment to pull out my laptop and arrange my workspace in the same order I arranged it every time I worked. It didn’t matter the location where I sat. The order of my materials was a compulsive need for me. If anything were out of place, I’d fixate on the disorder, losing the structure of my thought process.
Finally satisfied with the table before me, I turned to Autumn and my eyes narrowed on her before I barked out my response. I knew there would be questions. I just didn’t think it would be so soon.
“Ms. Cleary, I can assure you that the fate of your friend is of no concern to me. I heard from her last night, as you know. However, her activities and ongoings mean little to me as long as they are not affecting me. I’m sorry that you are worried about your friend, but as you know, Mary Beth has been nothing but an annoying issue for me. I’ve swatted the fly away and I have no intention of inviting her back around by showing any type of distress or anxiety over her sudden absence.”
Her jaw dropped at my concision and condescending tone. Without another word, I returned my attention to my computer and checked over my notes regarding the next book I wanted to research, fully expecting to hear the light click of her shoes exit the room. When that sound did not follow, I sighed heavily, placing my pen back on the table beside the pad of paper.
“Was there something else you needed, Ms. Cleary?”
“How can you be so heartless? She’s done nothing to you.”
Apparently, the succinctness of my previous statement was not as thorough as I’d believed. Turning back to her, I pushed up out of my chair and stepped over so that she had to crane her neck to continue eye contact.
“I’ll put it simply. Your friend is a whore. I have no use for whores. Not now and not ever. If she’s disappeared, then I feel sorry for you, Ms. Cleary. NOT your friend. Given her behavior with me, I wouldn’t be surprised if she found herself in an undesirable situation. Or maybe, she did desire it but found out what it is truly like. Either way, I’ve read enough on the subject of missing women to understand that in certain situations, it can be due to their own foolish behavior: trusting a stranger, hitching a ride, leaving a bar drunk off their ass with a man – any man. I find it difficult to feel remorse or sympathy towards a silly woman who willingly walks towards her own destruction. Do you understand?”
A single tear escaped down her cheek and I rubbed between my eyes out of frustration. Pulling the glasses from my face, I reached out to touch her shoulder, but she jerked away, taking several steps so as to remain out of my grasp.
“I cannot believe how inconsiderate and arrogant you are, Lucas.” She let out a humorless laugh before quietly adding, “And to think, I was actually starting to warm up to you last night. I actually thought that beneath that polished and bitter surface, there actually lived a decent man.”
She was out of the room before I could respond. Her mahogany hair braided down her back was sweeping back and forth as she moved. I suddenly noticed she’d worn it down and I lamented the unfortunate timing of the venture out of her prim and proper shell. It was the first sign of freedom I’d seen in the woman and I had to open my mouth and ruin it.
Autumn
“There’s nothing at the apartment that’s concerning. Mary Beth’s purse and phone are missing. There isn’t a sign of any struggle and the police won’t do anything until she’s been missing for several days. It’s a small town, Autumn. Word travels fast around here and a lot of people think Mary Beth went back home because she was embarrassed about Lucas choosing you over her.” Sue’s hands wrung over each other as she attempted to convince me to calm down regarding Mary Beth’s disappearance.
“But he didn’t choose me! It was the luck of the draw, a raffle. It wasn’t like it was anything romantic. You were the one that forced me to go to dinner with him. You knew I didn’t want to. She would have no reason to leave.” I stood up out of my chair with such force, the next thing I heard was the wood whack against the library’s tile floor. “Besides, Mary Beth has had lots of guys reject her. Sadly, the majority of which still live in this town. She’s never run away before. Why now?”
Sue glanced at me with an expression that could only be described as pity. It was as if the look on her face was screaming at me that I was an idiot for not agreeing with her.
“Because, this time, he chose someone close to her.” She shrugged. “Who knows? The point is that there’s not much we can do and we need to focus on work. Worrying about Mary Beth will only slow things down around here and we can’t afford that with the increased traffic that we’ve had since Lucas started using our facilities for his research. We’ve made more of a profit selling used books and food in the cafeteria than we have in the past three months combined. Nobody uses the library anymore. They carry around the internet on their phones and their books as well. We have to keep this place busy to make up for the reduced income from the city.”
I balked – openly and obviously balked. We were discussing the potential that one of our friends could be missing or dead and all she was concerned about was revenue. Between her and Lucas, I realized that the only person in Mary Beth’s corner was me.
“I see. Well, in that case, I guess I’ll get back to updating the electronic card catalogue. I would hate for anyone to miss one of the new releases due to someone we care about disappearing.”
Sue’s expression fell when she reached out to pat me on the shoulder. “Don’t look at it that way, Autumn. I’m sure she’ll return. I’ll even hold her job for her.” After a quick polite smile, Sue spun on her heel and was walking briskly back to her office.
Left alone at the desk, I picked my chair up from the floor and sat down, dropping my chin into my hands. My glasses slid down my nose and I was trying to blow a stray hair out from in front of my face when I heard a man clear his throat above me. Looking up, I found Lucas’ arrogant smirk.
Dropping my eyes back down to the desk, I commented, “Great. What do you want?” Blowing at the hair again, I didn’t bother to straighten in my seat, shove the glasses up my face or make any other move that would correct my appearance. I looked like crap and I wasn’t ashamed about it. Quite frankly, at that moment, I would have preferred he run away after seeing me in that state.
He was quiet for a little bit too long and out of curiosity, I looked back up at him.
“Do you realize how absolutely adorable you are when you’re worried? You resemble a small, defenseless rabbit. Innocence and helplessness suit you, Ms. Cleary.”
“Autumn. My name’s Autumn. You were calling me by that name last night, so I don’t see the need for you to start back with the ‘Ms. Cleary’ title.”
He smiled, causing the dimples to appear on his cheeks that were darkened by the five o’clock shadow on his face. He wore his wire rimmed glasses and I couldn’t help but stare into the knowing eyes of the man standing above me. At times, it felt like he could see right through me. I was unsettled by his attention suddenly, fearful where I had once been annoyed.
“I came over to apologize for earlier, Autumn, for what I said. I’m in the middle of a rather frustrating chapter and I tend to be easily jostled when disturbed. I’d even go so far as to admit I’m moody when I write. When you approached me, my mind was lost in a scene and I was frustrated to have been pulled from it.”
“But you had just arrived …”
Interrupting my sentence, he quickly explained, “At every moment, of every day, of every week, and so on, I’m in my head Ms. Cleary…” He smiled again. “What I’m doing in there at any particular moment changes. Most of the time, I’m inside the pages of my next book.”
I laughed, thinking of how ridiculous it was for him to use his writing as an excuse for his brash behavior. “Well, then maybe you
should wear a sign, Mr. Bates. It would make it easier for us to determine whether you are in a position to be approached.”
His laughter was deep and unexpected. When he stopped, heat ignited behind his eyes and his grin shifted from friendly to something else entirely. Whatever his smile indicated, I didn’t want any part of it. Chills ran along my spine and I finally did straighten in my seat just to be ready to jump up and run if I had to.
“There is nothing sexier than a woman willing to attempt to put me in my place.” He paused, the tip of his tongue peeking out between his lips for only a split second. A middle aged woman walked up behind him with her arms full of books and five noisy children in tow. Her hair was frazzled and the kids wouldn’t stop screaming about how they wanted to leave.
Annoyance flashed across Lucas’ once seductive expression. Raising his voice so that he could be heard above the children, he said, “Regardless, I came to apologize, which I’ve done. I’m going to return to my book now.”
He turned to walk away, but one word that he’d spoken kept repeating in my head. When he was a few steps from the hallway, I jumped out from behind the desk and called out to him.
“Lucas!”
He stopped in his path, turning his head slightly to hear what I had to say.
Calling across the room, I asked, “Attempt? They’re only willing to attempt? Are you trying to say no woman has accomplished putting you in your place?”
I could see the corner of his lip curl in response to my question. After a few seconds, he finally answered.
“Yes, Ms. Cleary, I said attempt. I believe the word speaks for itself.”
…
Attempt. He really claimed that no woman has ever bested him. It was outrageous and my thoughts were stuck on that arrogant bastard for the rest of the day. My butt was numb from sitting all day with only a half hour lunch and minimal assistance at the front desk when I had to run around and help a customer. Looking out the picture window, I could see that the sun was starting to set, which meant that it was time to start closing down. I couldn’t have been happier. Without Mary Beth here to help, I was busy all day doing two jobs instead of one.