Taking the can of paint stripper off the bench, he poured it into an empty food can. Using a brush, he applied it to the wood of the chest.
He liked too many things about Phoebe. The way her hair hid her face like a curtain and then when it was drawn away discovering she’d hidden a smile from him. The way she insisted on helping. Phoebe was no shrinking violet. She was a survivor. JT’s baby was lucky. JT’s baby!
What was happening to him? Phoebe was JT’s wife. Was. It didn’t matter how attracted to her he was, she would always belong to JT. There was the bro code. You don’t take your best friend’s girl.
Ryan picked up the putty knife and began to scrape the paint off in thin sheets.
No matter how much you might want to.
A board creaked above him.
It didn’t matter. Phoebe didn’t feel that way about him. She’d been alone during a hard time in her life and she was searching for a connection to JT. All he meant to her was someone who had known the father of her baby. He would be her friend and nothing more.
Still, it was as if he saw the world as a better place when he was around her. Like his wounds were finally closing. That life could be good. Not black-and-white. Living or dying. But happy, healthy and hopeful.
“Hey, down there, your dinner is served.” There was a cheerful tone to her voice, like someone calling another they cared about.
Ryan’s heart thumped hard against his chest. Wouldn’t it be nice to be called to every meal that way? Even those little things improved life.
Phoebe was filling their glasses when Ryan’s footsteps drew her attention to the door of the basement. It had been over a year since she had called someone to dinner and here she was doing it twice in less than two weeks. She liked it. There was something about it that made her feel like all was as it should be in her world.
“Smells good.”
“You do know that all I did was pick it up, don’t you?” she said, putting the pitcher back on the corner.
“Yes, but you did a good job with that.”
He looked at the table. She had set their places with what little she could find in Ryan’s woefully low-stocked kitchen. Passing a shop, she’d impulsively bought a handful of flowers. She hoped he didn’t think she was suggesting that this was more than a friendly meal.
He nodded toward them. “Nice touch.”
She smiled. “I like fresh flowers. I couldn’t resist them.”
“I’ll have to remember that. Let me wash my hands.”
Ryan went to the sink. With his back to her she had a chance for a good look. What would it be like to run her hands across these wide shoulders? To cup what must be a firm butt?
She didn’t need to be thinking like that. But she was pregnant, not dead.
“What’s wrong? You feeling okay? You have an odd look on your face.”
She’d been caught ogling him. “No, no, I feel fine.”
A slow smile stole over his face and his eyes twinkled, pushing the worry away. “Okay, let’s eat. I’m hungry.”
Had he figured out what she’d been thinking?
They each took one of the two chairs at the table.
“I didn’t know what you liked so I got two kinds of soups and two sandwiches, hoping you liked at least one of each.”
“It all looks good.”
“I didn’t move your mail off the table. I thought you might not be able to find it if I did.” She pushed it toward him. Ryan’s hand brushed hers when he reached for it.
The flutter in her middle had nothing to do with the baby moving. She jerked her hand back.
“Is that a valid comment on my housekeeping skills?”
“Not really, but now that you mention it I’ve not really seen any of those skills outside your shop.”
He laughed. “I deserve that. I’m not here much and when I am I go downstairs. As for my mail, I usually let it stack up and then open anything that isn’t bills when I get around to it.” He glanced through the pile and pulled an envelope out, tearing it open. Slipping a card out, he studied it a moment, then laid it on the table. “It’s an invitation to Sophia’s wedding next weekend.”
“You weren’t kidding. That had to have come weeks ago.”
He gave her a sheepish look. “I’m sure it did.”
“I’m happy for her but I hate it she isn’t going to be there to deliver this baby. I’ve become attached to her. It’s hard to give her up. I don’t want just anyone to deliver. But I’ve got to make a choice soon.”
There was a long pause before Ryan leaned forward and said, “I’d like to do it.”
Phoebe sucked in a breath. “You want to do what?”
“Be your midwife. Would you let me take over from Sophia?”
She wasn’t sure it was a good idea but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying no immediately. She’d been looking for emotional support, not medical help. Ryan being her midwife sounded far too personal. “Ooh, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”
“You need a midwife and I’m one.”
“Yes, but isn’t there something about not delivering people you know?”
His gaze held hers. “I don’t see it as being a problem. And I’d rather be the one there if there’s a complication than wishing I had been.”
She nodded.
“Phoebe, I’d like to be a part of bringing Joshua’s baby into the world.”
Wasn’t this what she’d been looking for? Someone to support her? Be there for her? She loved Sophia but she wasn’t available. Why shouldn’t Ryan be the one? Because she had feelings for him that had nothing to do with the baby.
He shifted forward in his chair. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”
“No, no. It’s okay. I’m just not sure what to say. Let me think about it.”
“Take all the time you need.”
She didn’t have much time. He had proved more than once he was the guy Joshua had said he was. What she knew was that she didn’t feel as alone as she had only a few weeks ago. Ryan had been tender and caring with her so why wouldn’t he be a good midwife? Right now what she needed to do was change the subject. “Where’s Sophia getting married?”
“I forget women are always interested in a wedding.” He slid the card toward her.
Phoebe picked it up. It was a classic embossed invitation. “They’re getting married at Overnewton. It’ll be a beautiful wedding. That’s an amazing place.”
Ryan gazed at her over his soup spoon.
“What wedding doesn’t a woman think is beautiful?”
“Mine wasn’t. We got married at the registry office.”
“Oh?”
“It was time for Joshua to ship out and we decided to just do it. I wore my best dress and he his dress uniform. And we did it.”
“Do you wish you’d had a fancier wedding?”
“Sometimes. But that was us back then. Fast in love, fast to the altar. It seemed exciting. My parents were gone. My brother showed up and one of Joshua’s friends from school was there. We all went out to eat lunch afterward. The next day Joshua was gone.”
“No honeymoon?”
“We took a trip into the mountains, camping, when he came home nine months later. Those were good times.”
It was nice to talk about Joshua. People were hesitant to ask about him. They were always afraid it would make her cry. What they didn’t understand was that she wanted to talk about the husband she’d lost. Wanted to remember. She and Joshua had had some fun times. It was a shame they had grown apart there at the end. She’d wanted better for him. For him to think of her positively.
She picked up her sandwich. “How about you? Ever been married?”
“No.”
“Not even close?”
“Nope. Never found the right one.”
“I bet there have been women who thought you were the right one.”
He shrugged.
“So you’ve been a ‘love them and leave them’ guy?”
Ryan looked at her. “I wouldn’t say that. It’s more like it’s better not to get involved unless your heart is fully in it. Mine never has been.”
His eyes held a dark look, despite the effortlessness of the words. There was more to it than that but she didn’t know him well enough to probe further. “I guess that’s fair.”
“You know, Joshua used to talk about you all the time. It was Phoebe this and Phoebe that.”
“Really?” She’d always thought she’d been more like a toy that he’d come home to play with and then left behind to pick up again during the next holiday. Would things have been different between them if Joshua had not been gone so much?
“He talked about how you liked to camp and hike. What a good sport you were. I liked to hear stories about places you went, things you did.”
Guilt washed through her. And the last time Joshua had been home they’d done nothing special. Instead, they’d talked about getting a divorce. How had their relationship deteriorated so much? Would anyone ever love her like she needed to be loved? Want to come home to her every night? Have a family? She put down her half-eaten sandwich and pushed back her chair. “I need to get this cleaned up and get home. It’s getting late.”
“Do you mind if I finish my sandwich before we go?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.” She settled in her chair again.
“It’s okay.”
Phoebe watched as Ryan finished his meal. As soon as he had she started removing their plates and glasses.
“I need to put a cover over a few things before we leave.” Ryan went down the stairs.
Ten minutes later she called through the door to the basement, “I’m ready to go when you are.”
“I’ll be right up.”
Coming from Ryan, she could depend on it happening.
CHAPTER SIX
JUST UNDER AN hour later Ryan joined Phoebe on the sidewalk in front of her house.
“Thanks for the ride home.”
“When are you planning to come to my house and work on the cabinet? This weekend? I’ll have it ready for you by then.”
“I hadn’t thought about that. I guess I need to get busy. I’ll bring my paints and be there early on Saturday morning.”
“I can come get you—”
“No, I’ll take the tram.” She started up the walk.
“I don’t mind.”
She looked at him. “Ryan, please.”
“Okay, okay. Have it your way. Come on, you’re tired.” He took her elbow and they started toward the door.
Phoebe stopped walking.
Ryan jerked to a stop. “What—?”
She kicked off her shoes and picked them up by two fingers. “My feet are killing me.”
They continued to the door. Phoebe unlocked it, pushing it open.
“If you soak and massage your feet it would help,” Ryan said behind her.
“I don’t do feet.” She dropped her shoes inside the door.
Ryan followed her in and closed the door behind him. “That’s all right, because I do. You get a bath and come back here. Bring a bottle of your favorite lotion with you. I’ll be waiting.”
“It’s late. We’ve both had a long day.”
“It won’t take long and I promise you’ll like it. So stop complaining and go on.”
Phoebe gave him a dubious look but went off toward her bedroom.
While she was gone Ryan found a cook pot and put water on to heat. Looking under the sink, he pulled out a wash pan. He added a little dish soap to it. He searched the cabinets for a container of salt and, finding it, he added a generous amount to the soap. When the water started to steam he poured it into the pan.
Going to the bathroom in the hallway, he pulled a towel off the rack. Returning to the living room, he placed the towel on the floor in front of the most comfortable-looking chair. He then went for the pan of water.
“What’s all this?” Phoebe asked. She wore a gown and a housecoat that covered her breasts but not her belly. Her hair flowed around her shoulders and her cheeks were rosy. Ryan had never seen a more captivating sight.
Gathering his wits and settling his male libido, he took her hand and led her toward the chair. “I’m going to help make those feet feel better. You sit here.”
She lowered herself into the chair.
“Now, slowly put your feet into the water. It may be too hot.”
“This feels wonderful.” She sighed, lowering her feet into the water.
He left her to get a chair from the kitchen, returned and placed it in front of her.
“What’re you planning now?”
Taking a seat, he faced her. “I’m going to massage your feet.”
“I’m not letting you do that!”
“Why not? You ticklish?”
Phoebe didn’t look at him. “No.”
“I think you’re lying to me. Did you bring the lotion?”
She shifted to her right and put her hand in her housecoat pocket. She pulled out a bottle and handed it to him. Without even opening the bottle he recognized the scent he thought of as hers. He reached down, his hand wrapping her calf and lifting it to rest on his thigh.
“I’m getting you wet.” She tried to pull her foot away.
He held it in place. “If it isn’t bothering me, then don’t let it bother you. Lean back and relax. Close your eyes.” He squirted a liberal amount of lotion into his palm and began rubbing Phoebe’s foot. At the first touch she flinched and her eyes popped open. Their gazes met as he began to massage her skin. Seconds later, her eyes closed and she relaxed. As he worked the tissue on the bottom of her foot she let out a soft moan.
“Where did you learn this?” she asked almost with a sigh.
“In the army. The men in the hospital always seemed to respond and became calmer if they had a massage of some kind.”
“I can understand that.”
His hands moved to her ankle and then along her calf, kneading the muscles.
“I’m sorry if I put you in a difficult position when I asked to be your midwife.” He squeezed more lotion into his hand and started at her toes again and pushed upward.
“It was sweet of you to ask.”
He wasn’t sure that Phoebe thinking of him as sweet was to his liking.
“Well, something that was said seemed to upset you.” He gently pulled on one of her toes.
“It wasn’t what you said as much as something I remembered.”
“I guess it wasn’t a good one.” His fingers continued to work her toes.
“No. When Joshua was home the last time, we talked about separating.”
“That’s tough.” He moved up to her knee and started down again.
“We had grown apart. I had my life and he had his. We just didn’t make sense anymore.” A tone of pain surrounded every word.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must really have been difficult to deal with when you realized you were pregnant.”
“That would be an understatement. How about an ocean of guilt?”
Ryan could more than understand that feeling. He placed her foot back into the pan and picked up the other one. He gave the second one the same attention as he had the first.
Phoebe leaned back and neither one of them spoke for the next few minutes. Ryan was content to watch the expression of pleasure on her face.
“You sure know the way to a woman’s heart.”
His hands faltered on her calf. He didn’t want her heart. Having someone’s heart meant they expected some emotion in return. He didn’t get that involved with anyone.
Her eyes opened and met his look. There was a realization in them of what she’d said. Regardless of what his mind told him, his body recognized and reacted to the longing in her eyes. His hands moved to massage her knee and above, just as he had done before, but this time the movements requested more. Unable to resist, his fingers brushed the tender tissue of her inner thigh.
Phoebe was no longer t
hinking about her feet. This gorgeous, intelligent hunk of man in front of her wanted her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt desired. If it had ever felt this compelling.
Ryan’s gaze captured hers. His eyes were storm-cloud gray. He held her leg with one hand and slowly trailed a finger upward past her knee to tease her thigh again before bring it down. It was no longer a massaging motion but a caress. With what looked like regret in his eyes, he lowered her foot into the water.
With his gaze still fixed on her, he offered both of his hands.
She took them. He gently pulled her closer and closer until she was in an upright position. Leaning forward, his mouth drew near. “I may be making a huge mistake but I can’t help myself.”
Ryan’s lips were firm, full and sure as they rested on hers. He pressed deeper.
Phoebe wanted more but wasn’t sure what that was or if she should want it. This was the first kiss she’d had since Joshua’s parting one. She pulled away, their lips losing contact. Her eyes lifted and her look met Ryan’s. He didn’t hold it. Without a word, he scooped her up into his arms. She wrapped her hands around his neck.
“What?”
“Just be quiet.” The words were a low growl. He carried her down the hall to her bedroom and stood her on her feet next to her bed. “Get in.”
His tone was gruff. She didn’t question, instead doing as he asked. He tucked the extra pillow under her middle and pulled the covers over her shoulders before he turned off the light and left the room. “Good night, Phoebe.” Had he been as affected by the kiss as she had? She still trembled inside. Ryan’s lips meeting hers had been wonderful and shocking at the same time. He had surprised her. Everything had remained on a friendly level until his hand had moved up her leg. She’d wanted his kiss but hadn’t been sure what to do when she’d got it.
Those days of schoolgirl insecurity had returned. She was soon going to be a mother. Did he feel sorry for her because of the baby? Joshua? Or just because he thought she needed the attention at the moment? The doubts had made her pull away. Now she regretted doing so. Her body longed for him. But it couldn’t be. She wouldn’t have Ryan feel obligated to her because of her situation. She’d put him on the spot when she’d shown up at his house and she had no intention of doing that to him again. It was best for them just to remain friends.
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