by Becky Barker
She was just about to tell him she needed to be on the road by evening when Luke intervened.
"Susan and I are going to be married soon," he stunned them all by announcing. His expression told her he was taking the decision out of her hands and if she had any remaining doubts, she should air them now. A few tense seconds passed. When she didn't contradict him, he continued. "She was planning to stay in Houston with some friends until the arrangements are made, but if she needs rest, she can stay here. Rosa will spoil her, and I'll make sure she doesn't overexert herself."
Rosa started clapping her hands in delight. "Married! Oh! You're going to be married. I'm so happy for you! I'll make a cake and we'll have a celebration. I love weddings." Doctor Peters was looking from one to the other. His shrewd eyes didn't miss much, but all he saw was an unspoken understanding between them. “How soon?”
Luke’s gaze met and held Susan’s. “We haven’t set a date, but we don’t want to wait much longer.”
"Then, I'll add my congratulations. It sounds like a good match to me. You two can come into the clinic on Monday and get some blood work done. I'll examine Susan a little more thoroughly then. She may need a vitamin supplement, but I think she just needs to slow down for a little while, eat right and get some sleep."
"Sounds good, Doc. We'll be there early Monday. I appreciate your coming today," said Luke.
The doctor shrugged aside the words of thanks. He was already re-packing his bag and preparing to leave. Rosa offered him lunch, but he declined. It was Saturday; he had a fishing trip planned and was anxious to be on his way.
Susan added her thanks and the men headed outside together. She accepted a big hug from Rosa, but she was still feeling a little disoriented and bemused by the sudden turn of events. Apparently, she'd just accepted Luke's proposal. Acceptance by lack of rejection, to be exact. She could only pray it wasn't the biggest mistake of her life.
He didn't love her. Once upon a time she'd been half in love with him, but she wasn't the same person now. Too much had happened in the intervening time. She couldn't give her heart too freely or completely because it was severely damaged. She needed firm control of her emotions. Any more traumas and she might not survive.
They might still be fascinated with each other, but all they seemed to have going for them was physical attraction and a desire for a family. Maybe, just maybe, it could be expanded to a really caring relationship.
Chapter Three
Luke had ordered her to take it easy. Susan didn't want to blindly obey him, yet she wasn't feeling strong enough to protest. Sheer exhaustion kept her submissive. He asked what boxes or bags she needed from the rental truck and carried the necessities to a room Rosa kept prepared for guests.
After a short discussion regarding her intention to stay and give their relationship a chance, they'd agreed to store her small collection of furniture and family keepsakes in another spare bedroom. One of his ranch hands was ordered to return the truck to the rental agency. Susan watched it leave the property with a sense of slowly burning her bridges.
She called her friend, Lora, and told her she'd changed her mind about coming to Houston. Lora had wished her luck, but thankfully hadn't asked a lot of questions. She’d accepted her decision, wished her well and told her the offer was open-ended. That made Susan feel a less stressed about the decision not to move right now. On Monday, she would have to call the bank and tell them she’d decided not to accept the teller’s job. That would mean burning the final bridge, but she’d have a couple more days before completely giving up her safety net.
Luke warned her that he expected her to follow the doctor's orders and relax. He didn't want her working with the horses or doing anything more strenuous than unpacking some suitcases. She didn't have the strength to disobey those orders, either, but she wasn't used to having idle time on her hands. The last few years had been spent in a frenzied attempt to stay too busy to think.
Over the next couple hours, she spent time moving into her room and reacquainting herself with Luke's home. The room she'd been given was one of six huge bedrooms with adjoining baths on the second floor. It was brightly lit with two long windows faced the east and offered the morning sun. Sheer lacy curtains gently fluttered in the breeze.
Decorated in shades of cream and mauve with plush carpeting and mahogany furnishings, the room was both elegant and comfortable. Besides a big closet that swallowed her wardrobe, there was a chest of drawers and a dressing table with mirror that glistened from Rosa's attention.
The downstairs was also homey and welcoming with some elegant rooms and some very comfortable ones. She'd paid several visits here and was familiar with the layout, but enjoyed expToning more thoroughly.
A wide hallway with a winding staircase divided the house. On one side was a formal dining room and living room for entertaining large numbers of people. The other side had a small ranch office and a huge family room.
The big yellow and white kitchen was at the back of the house and stretched the entire length of the building. It had a breakfast nook big enough to seat eight people and expanded to seat more, if necessary.
Luke had grabbed a couple sandwiches and headed back out to work, but Rosa and Susan shared a more leisurely lunch. The housekeeper was at least twenty years her senior with a maternal streak a mile long. She was good company and a great cook.
Susan was surprised she didn't mention the upcoming nuptials, but assumed Luke had something to do with that. He'd probably warned Rosa to go slow with the wedding celebration plans.
Her own five children were grown and married, but she was notorious for adopting strays like Susan. Although they'd never spent much time together, they respected each other and had become casual friends.
Rosa refused to let her help clean the kitchen or do any household chores. Within a few of hours after her fainting spell, she was feeling truly restless and bored. "How about some television?" the housekeeper suggested, realizing their guest needed to be busy. "Or there's a bunch of videos."
Susan smiled her thanks, but she didn't care much for television. Videos didn't appeal, nor did reading at the moment. She wanted to ride, but knew she shouldn't do that. "Could you sleep for a while?" ask Rosa. "Nobody will care if you take a nap."
"I'm not really sleepy, and I'm not used to napping in the daytime."
"Why don't you put on a bikini and go soak up some sun. There's a wonderful swimming pool out back that doesn't get nearly enough use. John comes about every day for a little exercise, and Luke likes to swim, but neither of them spend much time out there. It's such a waste."
The idea sounded close to heaven. Susan loved the water, but she hadn't been near a pool since college. Unfortunately, she didn't own a decent bathing suit. "It will be wonderful therapy," added Rosa. "I have a whole collection of suits in all sizes for when we have visitors. They're stored in the pantry. Come and see."
Susan followed her to a small room off the west side of the kitchen. They sorted through stacks of bathing suits until they found a one-piece blue maillot that looked like it might fit her. "You shouldn't be running up and down the stairs," said Rosa, pointing to their right. "Just use the washroom through this door to try it."
She indicated a small half-bath that adjoined the pantry and laundry room. Susan stepped inside and closed the door, then changed into the suit. There was a mirror on the back of the door, so she scrutinized herself for the first time in months.
The suit had a modest neckline, but was cut really low in the back and high on the thighs. It clung to her every curve, making her realize just how much weight she'd lost. Her breasts had always been full and her waist small, but her hips had been too rounded for her liking. Now everything was trim to the point of thinness. She could see the outline of her ribcage. It might be fashionable to be so skinny, but it just looked pathetically unhealthy to her. There were tan lines on her arms and legs, leaving the rest of her skin unnaturally pale.
"Oh, well," she said, know
ing there was no quick fix for the way she looked. It seemed insignificant in the general scheme of things and silly to even care.
Her gaze drifted upward in the mirror. Untidy strands of hair had escaped her ponytail and were curling around her face. It was a fine, pale blond that had grown well beyond shoulder length, and there were always a few tendrils that refused confinement. Susan tried to smooth them as she studied her face more critically.
Even though she had a light tan, it didn’t disguise the unhealthy pallor of her skin or the dark circles under her eyes. Her cheek bones were far too prominent and her cheeks were thin to the point of gauntness, but there wasn't anything she could do about that, either.
Maybe Doc Peters was right. Maybe a few days of rest would put some color in her face and fade the shadows beneath her eyes. She wanted to be strong and healthy again in mind, heart, and body. If she was going to marry Luke and start a family, she had to take better care of herself.
If? Was there still a doubt in her mind? Luke had already put the wheels in motion, but did she really want to make that sort of commitment? Permanent? Forever? Till death? She'd repeated the marriage vows with Shane, but the ceremony had been a travesty. The words had been coerced from her, and she’d never felt them in her heart.
Could she succeed with Luke? Could she gamble her future in hopes of winning the home and family she so desperately craved? Or would this be another dismal failure? Worse yet, if she grew to love Luke, would she lose him, too?
Cornflower blue eyes, dulled somewhat from her exhaustion, were reflected in the mirror, their depths troubled with indecision.
"Oh, Mother, how I wish you were here," she whispered. Sometimes she missed her mother so much she didn't think she could bear it. Tears welled instantly in her eyes, but she drew once again on her hard-won control to force them back. There had been so many times over the past few years when she'd needed her mother's guidance and support. So many times when she mourned, all over again, the loss of her parents, their strength and stability.
She was so alone. For a woman who'd been a vivacious, fun loving teenager and young adult, it was horribly painful to be so alone. She hated needing someone so much, yet she couldn't deny the truth. She needed Luke. She needed his home, his strength, his affection.
It might be a long time before they could ever totally trust each other and even longer before they could learn to love each other, but Susan made herself a vow to try as hard as humanly possible. If he tried even half as much, they could do it.
She had to try. She couldn't bear being alone any longer. Even if Luke wasn't wildly in love with her, she trusted him. He was a strong, honest, dependable man. They could learn to care for each other and create their own supportive family. "Hey, did you fall in?" asked Rosa, interrupting her reverie. “Or do you need a different size?"
Susan smiled. She liked Rosa, her musical Spanish accent and her sense of humor. Being a part of Luke's household was already making her feel better. "This one will be fine," she said, returning to the pantry and the waiting housekeeper. "I think it's a size smaller than I usually wear, but I don't have much meat on me right now, anyway."
"Pretty skinny," the older woman announced, giving her the once over. "You look like a half-starved fashion model, but at least you have some bosom and that suit makes your legs look longer. My home cooking will take care of the rest of the curves in no time at all."
"I have weird tan lines," Susan complained about the faint marks on her arms and neck.
"A little sun will change that, but go easy and use some sun screen." Rosa dug through a cupboard and came up with a bottle of lotion and a beach towel. "Now give me your clothes and go relax. I'll bring you something cold to drink in a little while."
Once again, Susan found herself obeying without argument. She was feeling drained again and welcomed a chance to lay her head down for a little bit.
The pool was Olympic size and took up a good section of the backyard. A security fence enclosed the entire patio and concrete deck around the pool. Several cushioned lounge chairs were on the deck, so she pulled one close to the water and sat down on it.
She’d take a dip when she felt a little more rested. After applying some sunscreen, she stretched out on the chaise. It was really comfortable and the sun felt wonderful. She pulled the stretchy band from her hair so she could lay her head down flat, and within minutes, she was sound asleep.
Some time later, sleep brought her incredibly erotic dreams. She had the total, undivided attention of a faceless, nameless man who came for no other reason than to please her. It began with a massage by strong hands using warm, fragrant oil.
He started with her toes and then inched his way over the ball of her foot to her arch. His thumbs worked magic as they gently, but firmly, stroked her instep until she felt a warm tingling sensation creep up her spine. First one foot and then the other received highly focused attention. Susan heard herself moan with pleasure as more ripples of sensual bliss bombarded her.
The hands moved slowly up her calves, rubbing and caressing muscle and flesh until every nerve ending in her body was alive with seductive heat. Her thighs were especially sensitive and the hands stroked them with a liquid heat that set her on fire. She whimpered and shifted her legs in little, restless twitches.
Then the hands had her hands, caressing each ringless finger, her thumbs and palms. Her arms were molded and stroked until her toes curled and a whole new sort of tension invaded her body.
She whimpered again softly when the palms of his hands skimmed over her ribs and ever so lightly across her breasts, bringing her nipples into aching fullness with just the briefest touch.
When the callused, yet tender hands kneaded her shoulders, caressed her neck and finally cupped her face, an image of a face behind the hands began to form. Susan lifted her heavy lids and looked directly into deep-set gray eyes that were watching her with such shattering intensity it stole what was left of her breath.
Luke's upper body was shading her eyes from the sun, so she had no problem seeing his face beneath the rim of his Stetson. His features were totally devoid of emotion, making it impossible to gauge his reaction to touching her so freely.
"You're going to get burned," was all he said, as he took more of the lotion into his hands. There were a lot of ways to get burned, but Susan couldn't worry about them now. She just felt—alive, aware, aroused. She tried to drag herself to alertness, but she was dazed by the blatant sensuality of his ministrations. His hands continued to massage her cheeks, his thumbs at her temples. Then his fingers slid into her hair, combing it from her face before he moved his fingertips to massage her scalp.
She carefully studied his face as he concentrated on his self-appointed task. If he was as shaken by the contact as she was, he didn't show it. "Turn over and I'll do your back," he commanded, his tone low, but completely controlled. Her expression told him she didn't know if she could bear any more of his erotic attentions, but he ignored the message and gently helped her turn onto her stomach.
She was wide awake now, yet the sensation of floating in a dreamlike state remained with her as his hands worked a similar magic on her shoulders, back, and hips. By the time he'd spread the sunscreen over the backs of her thighs, every nerve ending in her body was quivering with unrestrained excitement.
He grasped her hips and helped her turn so she was facing him again. Susan felt as boneless and limp as a dishrag. She could only stare at him in mute fascination at his effortless manipulation of her senses. Luke had been hunched down beside her, but stood to his full height and seemed especially tall from her vantage point. He was still dressed in his work clothes but his eyes were hidden from her as he looked down on her.
"Rosa suggested I bring you lemonade and remind you to put on more sunscreen,” he explained.
Apparently, he'd decided to take the housekeeper's suggestions to a higher level. She knew she must look like a wanton at the very least. He'd managed to thoroughly arouse her. The ti
ght swimsuit accentuated her jutting nipples. Her breasts felt swollen and heavy. Her chest rose and fell in heightened excitement.
A glance at his jeans proved he was aroused, too. The telltale bulge was a little disconcerting, sending a ripple of reaction over her. But he remained in firm control of his desires. He’d withdrawn his touch and obviously didn't intend to take his seduction any further, even though she just as obviously wouldn't object.
Her voice, when she tried to speak, was no more than a thready whisper. Pushing up on her elbows, she reached for the lemonade he'd placed on a nearby table. A sip of it helped clear her throat, and she voiced the only coherent thought that came to mind.
"Thank you." She was thanking him for his unselfish attentions, and for remaining in control when some men would have taken advantage of her vulnerability.
"My pleasure," he told her, though his tone didn't echo the thought. It was deep and tight with tension. “I’d like to take you to bed and finish the job, but it might be best if we wait until we're married. You need to regain some strength."
Was this some form of sensual harassment, Susan wondered? Did he hope to make her want him so badly she'd forget everything else? If so, she had to admit that his efforts were successful. She was aching. Luke was aching, too, but he was determined to fight the physical need. Kissing and caressing Susan this morning had temporarily thrown him off balance. Her passionate response had created a deep sensual hunger that threatened his control. Caressing her just now had been an exercise in restraint, and a painful one.
It had also proven what he'd always suspected. She was a deeply sensual woman who loved the feel of a man's hands on her body. Her soft moans had been genuine. The sight of her fat, hard nipples pressing against the fabric of her suit was more evidence of her lush sensuality. His body clenched at the thought, and he was suddenly impatient to have things settled between them. He wanted every inch of her naked skin rubbing against his. He wanted their bodies locked together in the most elemental fashion. He wanted to possess her, body and soul.