by Becky Barker
A sudden concern leapt to her mind. What if Luke had been so worried about pleasing her that he hadn't enjoyed it himself? He was a lot more experienced. What if she rated really low by comparison? She hadn't done anything to please him. She'd only wallowed in his attentions.
Lifting her head, she sought his eyes. They were closed, but opened and lit with curiosity at her probing stare.
"Was it all right for you?" she had to ask, even though voicing the question brought a rush of heat to her face.
A big, lazy smile spread across his face. He looked well satisfied, but she desperately needed reassurance. He seemed aware of the fact.
"It was good," he insisted.
"You're not just saying that?" In response, he rocked his hips against hers, making her gasp as she felt him pulse within her. While their eyes were locked, he slowly turned her in his arms until he was on top.
"It was so good, I want more," he declared, his eyes going dark as she wriggled beneath him.
"Oh!" was all she could say before his mouth trapped hers and passion escalated again.
A long time later, when Susan was fast asleep, Luke propped his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Replays of the evening kept running through his head, making sleep impossible. How much of what Susan had told him could he believe? He'd thought her tale about Shane raping her was an elaborate ploy until he'd tried to penetrate the virginal tightness of her body. Damn! Just the memory brought him to swift, aching arousal again.
Could she have faked the innocence? The tightness sure as hell hadn't been faked. She'd been wet and wanting and more than ready for him. She should have sheathed him easily, yet she'd had trouble. Was she just naturally small, her muscles naturally tight, or was there a way women could control such things?
Shane had called her insatiable. Would the six months of celibacy since his death make a difference? After having been sexually active for two years of marriage? He didn't know and he sure as hell couldn't ask anybody.
She'd played him for a fool when she'd married Shane, and he wasn't likely to forgive and forget. He didn't know what kind of game she was playing, but he knew she was hiding something.
Right now, all he cared about was keeping his family's land intact, having a responsive woman to warm his bed, and having a wife who was willing to bear his children. He trusted Susan to satisfy those needs.
And he did want her physically. That he couldn't deny, even to himself. He'd wanted her for years. She'd become a fever in his blood that had scalded him all the time she'd been married to his cousin.
He'd learned to control the need, to reinforce it with his disgust at her duplicity. He had little respect for women who so easily switched their loyalties, but he didn't intend to let it happen again. She was his now. If she was insatiable, he'd make sure she never had reason to complain. He could be insatiable, too.
Like right now. Tonight. With her soft, warm body pressed against his and the intoxicating scent of her filling his nostrils, it was hard to think of anything but sating himself again. He shifted his legs on the bed as he fought the heavy pull of desire.
She'd been so eager and responsive, yet seemed so unsure and inexperienced. He refused to trust her or even his own instincts. She was temptation, and he was sorely tempted to wake her again. He ached too much to sleep, but he'd had plenty of experience with that particular ache. He could and would control it.
The sun was high by the time Susan awoke on Saturday. The night had been long and filled with incredible discoveries, giving her a whole new perspective on life and love.
Considering the lateness of the hour, she wasn't surprised to find herself alone in bed. She missed Luke, but knew he had a busy day. Tonight was John's birthday party, so he and everyone else on the ranch would be preparing for the big barbecue and celebration.
She felt a moment's guilt at not being up at the crack of dawn to help, but then she remembered how she and Luke had greeted the dawn. A smile accompanied the memory. He was awe-inspiring. He'd taught her things she'd never known about her own sensuality. He'd drawn a passion from within her that had amazed her. Together, they'd scaled heights of pleasure beyond her wildest imaginings.
He hadn't seemed daunted by her inexperience, even though she had been at first. He'd been alternately patient and forceful, teaching her a broad spectrum of responses. His stamina was amazing.
She stretched, her body tingling with sensitivity as the sheet slid over her tender skin. A blush crept up her neck and face as she remembered how thoroughly Luke had caressed and explored her body. She wouldn't have believed it possible to be so uninhibited, yet there was no denying her responses to his loving.
He might be her first and only lover, but she was wise enough to know all men didn't make love so unselfishly. Luke was anything but selfish.
The bedroom door opened, startling her, and she jerked the sheet up to her chin. The man on her mind entered, closed the door, and then leaned against it while staring at her.
She gave him a tentative smile, and he returned it with a sexy masculine one. His eyes seemed all seeing as they lingered on her disheveled state. Her hair was a wild tangle, her skin still pink from a long night of his caresses, and she was totally naked under the sheet.
Susan felt her senses stirring in response to his blatantly sexual perusal. "Good morning," she offered to break the tension humming between them.
He quietly corrected her. "Good afternoon."
She dropped her eyes. "Is it very late?"
"Late enough that Rosa wanted to come and make sure I hadn't done you bodily harm last night." More heat invaded her cheeks as she realized the whole ranch staff would be speculating. "I can't believe I slept so long. I feel totally decadent."
"You're under doctor's orders to rest, remember?"
There was an unholy gleam in his eyes as he teased her. She responded to it like a flower to the sun.
"Doctor Peters might be a little shocked at your method of relaxing me."
Luke's gaze sharpened, and his tone took a serious edge. "Were you shocked?" Susan dipped her head, focusing her eyes on the sheet. She knew he didn't want a flippant answer. He was asking if their night of loving had unsettled her. Did that mean he had accepted the truth about her and Shane?
"I was shocked, but pleased," she said.
"What was shocking?"
She searched for the best explanation. "I just never imagined it could be that way."
Luke moved to the bed. His knee dropped beside her and she tilted toward him as his weight pressed down on the mattress. He cupped her head in his hands, turning her face to him. His tone took on the now-familiar sexiness of arousal.
"I imagined it, but the reality was even more incredible," he admitted.
Then his mouth was devouring hers as if to remind her of how easily he could make her want him. She returned his kiss with fervor, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders. His big, hard body inflamed her senses. The feel and taste and scent of him stirred longings she'd barely had time to develop.
Several long minutes later, he slowly withdrew from the kiss. Her lashes swept up, and she stared at him with her heart in her eyes. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but didn't want him to confuse the feelings with desire. She had plenty of both, but he probably wouldn't believe it.
"If you keep looking at me like that, I'll never let you out of this bed," he threatened.
"So?" she dared.
He groaned and rose to his feet, causing the sheet to slide to her waist. Before she could snatch it back up, one of his big hands cupped and caressed a bared breast. His thumb skimmed a nipple.
Her breath caught in her throat, and she placed her hand over his. "If you keep doing that, I'll never want to get out of this bed."
Luke chuckled, a wickedly pleased sound made her heart swell with happiness. He gave her nipple a tiny pinch and then pulled the sheet up to her neck.
She grinned at him. "Rosa's going to think you've locke
d me in the bedroom. She'll be up here to free me soon."
"She's worried you haven't had anything to eat and you might be starving to death," he explained, moving a few steps to the door. He turned back to her, leaning his right shoulder against the frame. While crossing his arms over his chest, he fastened his gaze on her again.
His stance was casual, and she couldn't help but admire the sleek, beautiful lines of his body. He wore his usual attire of snug, worn jeans and a T-shirt that hugged his chest and arms. A sudden mental image of all that masculine beauty in the nude brought a rush of longing so intense she shuddered.
It suddenly occurred to her that most newlyweds felt the same. That's why they needed extended honeymoons. They just couldn't bear to be parted. He was still within a few feet of her and yet she missed him.
She knew her eyes were full of hungry need as they met his. His flared in recognition of the hunger, but she swiftly redirected her attention. "Now that you mention it, food does sound pretty good."
He didn't comment on her provocative body language. "Rosa made sandwiches and told the men to fend for themselves, but she'll probably make an exception for you."
She didn't want special attention from the housekeeper. "I imagine she's busy."
The reminder of party plans dampened her good mood. She wasn't ready to face so many people. All she wanted to do was spend time with him. She didn't want to be the center of everyone's attention or have to start dodging personal questions. The subject of her marriage to two Hanchart men would be of unbearable interest.
"We still have to talk," he reminded, eyes narrowing.
Panic surged through her. Now that he knew a few of the details about her relationship with Shane, he wanted to know why she'd married his cousin. He'd asked her several times during the night, but she'd managed to put off explaining.
She couldn't get by with it much longer, yet she dreaded the pain and humiliation the truth would bring. She didn't want the ugliness to mar the sweetness of what they'd found together.
"But not right now?" She pleaded for more time.
His expression hardened. "You can trust me with your body, but not your secrets?" he ground out.
"It's not like that," she countered.
"Do you think it's going to hurt my feelings? Did you marry him just because he got the good looks and the charm? Because he was everybody's idea of the perfect catch?"
"No!" She'd never been drawn to Shane physically or emotionally. She'd never preferred him over Luke, but her new husband wouldn't believe that without knowing all the details. Maybe not even then.
"Do you really think I'm that shallow?" she asked, dropping her eyes to where her fingers nervously plucked at the sheet.
He didn't answer, and she dared a glance at him. She could tell by the tightening of his mouth he didn't like her defensive question any more than she liked his. He was closing up again, shutting her out and destroying the intimacy they'd created throughout the night.
"Why does it matter so much? Why does it have to affect us?" she beseeched. "Can't we just let it go?"
"It's a fact. You married him," his tone was hard. "That's not going to change, and believe me, nobody's going to let us forget it."
"If I had the power to change it, I would," she insisted, eyes wide and pleading. "But I don't. It was a mistake. We were all wrong for each other, and we made a horrible, regrettable mistake."
"Then why did you do it in the first place?" he demanded, straightening from his relaxed position and glaring at her with suddenly hostile eyes. "What made you think you could make it work if neither of you really wanted it?"
When she gave no response, he continued, "If you fancied him, why didn't you have a real marriage? Did he scare you? Was he a sexual pervert of some kind?"
Susan looked him straight in the eyes. "I was not in love with him, and I didn't care about his sexual preferences as long as he stayed away from me."
She flinched when the declaration seemed to make him more angry. It was impossible to comprehend her marriage to Shane without knowing all the details. She understood his frustration, and knew she'd have to confess the truth to him soon.
"Please, Luke. Just give us a little more time."
"Us?" he growled. "Just us. Without Shane's ugliness."
His retort held more anger and frustration. "You can't just wish it away."
"I know." She couldn't put him off much longer, but she wanted to pretend they were a normal, happy couple. At least for a few more hours.
"I promise I'll explain everything tomorrow. Just let me get through this party tonight." She wanted another night in his arms, too, another night to help cement their relationship before he learned the whole ugly truth. His eyes bored into hers, searching for secrets. Finding only entreaty, he abruptly changed the subject. "I've got to get back downstairs and help set things up."
Susan breathed a sigh at the reprieve. She hated his contempt and mistrust, but not as much as the idea of disclosing the truth.
"I'll take a quick shower and come help."
"You know we're going to catch hell from the family, don't you?" He added another worry. "Especially since Granddad was the only one who was invited to the ceremony."
"Will they have to know we had a party with the ranch staff?" That would add insult to injury.
"There's no keeping secrets around here. Granddad already had a call from Linda. She's on the warpath."
Susan gnawed her lip. "Will she make a scene?"
"Probably not in front of half the community, but there are lots of mean, subtle ways to show displeasure. She knows 'em all."
He was right. Linda would have condemned their plans from the beginning and done everything in her power to thwart them. Now she'd be furious because they hadn't included her. It was a no-win situation.
"She'll just have to get over it.” She'd let Shane's sister intimidate her before, but not any longer.
"Just remember she can't hurt you if you don't let her. You're my wife now. If she causes trouble, she answers to me." On that, he turned and left the room.
Susan fell back against the pillows and pulled the sheet over her head. The desire to shut out the rest of the world was strong. She just wanted Luke, and wished their relationship wasn't so complex. For at least the millionth time she wished she'd never met Shane Hanchart.
She could have gone to Luke as soon as Shane started blackmailing her, but she'd been too scared and humiliated. Her first concern at that point had been protecting her brother. He'd been so young and vulnerable and confused.
He was all the family she'd had left, and she would have done anything to protect him. It had been her responsibility to care for him. As the elder, she'd had more time to develop self-worth and emotional security. Butch had so little of both.
Looking back, she knew she hadn't really helped her brother by marrying Shane. She'd only compounded his feelings of guilt and inadequacy. The decisions she'd made had been the wrong ones. That was obvious now.
Butch had died when his motorcycle crashed into a tree, but she'd never been certain the wreck was an accident. He'd been so depressed and had been drinking heavily. Nothing she did ever seemed to help. His death would burden her conscience for the rest other life.
Doctor Peters had counseled her at the time, telling her Butch needed to learn to cope with his problems. He'd explained that lots of young people her brother's age faced even worse situations than the death of their parents.
Spoiling Butch had done more harm than good, but she hadn't known how else to protect him. Every time she'd tried to lecture him, he'd looked so forlorn and bereft she couldn't stand it.
She'd let him get away with skipping school, driving too fast, staying out too late. There had been a couple skirmishes with the sheriff for curfew, then Butch had turned eighteen and become a legal adult. The problems had gotten worse until finally one became blackmail material.
Thoughts of her brother always made Susan painfully sad, so she tried not
to dwell on the past. Now Luke was insisting she relive it all with explanations. It made her feel bereft, too. There was a chance the truth would cost her his tentative trust. She knew one night of loving couldn't erase all the heartache they'd suffered, but it was a new beginning.
She hoped she'd gained a little respect from him last night. He couldn't help but notice how inept and inexperienced she was, refuting Shane's claims about her sexual appetites. If Luke realized he was her first and only lover, maybe it would put a dent in the armor around his heart.
He had plenty of experience with women, of that she was certain. The knowledge brought a stab of jealousy, but it was tempered with common sense. His experience could benefit her, too. She wanted him to know how special he was to her.
She wanted him to be the one who taught her everything there was to learn about loving. She wanted all his faith, love and trust, she thought, burrowing her head into the pillow. Unfortunately, those were things that had to be earned. She couldn't expect his unconditional acceptance if she wasn't willing to trust him with the truth.
Maybe she could solve the problem with most of the truth. She'd already told him she and Shane weren't lovers, so why did he need to know about the blackmail? It would only make things worse. Maybe she could get by with a partial explanation for the whole family.
They'd all be here tonight. Shane's sister, Linda, and her husband, Dan Tarken, lived closest and had two children, Molly, age ten, and Alex, six. Their chunk of Hanchart property was within ten miles of the main ranch, so they were the most frequent visitors.
Their brother Brad, and his wife, Lynette, had two young daughters; Tami, five, and Paige, three. Brad ranched another Hanchart property a hundred miles further south, closer to Lynette's family. They reserved their visits to holidays and special occasions.
Shane's mother, Bernice, had remarried and moved to the East Coast after the death of their father. She visited occasionally, but didn't get involved with family affairs.
Although Luke was the oldest of the Hanchart grandchildren at age thirty, Linda was only a year younger. Brad was a couple years behind her, and Shane had been the baby. For all intents and purposes, Linda reined as matriarch of what was left of the family.