by Amber Burns
“Talk about what?”
“Your woman issues,” he snorted at me, he found a cigarette in a pocket of his cut and pulled it out. “I can’t claim to know much about them. I’ve only been married to Doris for fifteen years before she decided to call it quits.” He paused to light the cigarette and inhaled sharply, “Fucking Wilson was right though. If you don’t make an effort to fight for them, let them think you’re not interested anymore they don’t have a reason to stick around no more.”
I looked away from him and started to pack up my shit, “I tried to fight. She didn’t even make the effort to listen, I get the feeling I was barking up the wrong tree. She’s not in it for the hard stuff and I got a lot of hard shit going on. Not just with this shit,” I threw down the cloth and I struggled to my feet. “If you would have just fucking listened to me, opened your Goddamn eyes, maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation.” I looked at him hard, “If you would have fucking listened to me, neither of us would have went to jail. I might still have the girl of my fucking dreams instead of being here shining fucking bikes because I don’t think about what I just fucking lost.”
“Blame me,” he shot back at me. “I deserve it because you’re right. Jimmy is Doris’s nephew. What right do I have to believe family over you?” His tone had gone sarcastic and he waved his hands as he spoke, “What has Jimmy done for me besides bust his ass?”
“And I haven’t busted my ass for you?” I snapped back. “I don’t have any stake in this club and all that it does? Do I ever make shit up for giggles?” I took a step towards him, baring my teeth as I spoke, “Have I ever done you wrong?”
He seemed to relent then and shook his head, “No.” After a length he looked me in the eye and sighed, “I’m sorry, kid. I fucked up your chances with that girl and you can hold that grudge against me for as long you want. Blame me for it all.” He threw out his arms, “Hell if I left you alone where do you think you’d be now?”
Six feet under, but I didn’t tell him that. I know over the last few days I had considered it. I backed down and rubbed my hand against the back of my neck.
“What do I do now?”
Teddy relaxed, I guess he could see me for what I was: a directionless asshole. He shrugged,
“Do what you need to keep your head on straight. Worry about what you have control over and do what it takes to keep yourself out of trouble like Michaels said.”
“What about the idea of the shop?” I asked out of curiosity, I remembered pitching the idea but I didn’t know what was said after that.
“We’re going to move forward with it,” he fished his keys from his front pocket. “We got a building that’s ready and can support that kind of business. I’m going to go through the guys that need work, legal work, and see what their mechanical training’s been.” He tossed the keys to his bike at me, I caught them easily enough. It distracted me from the anger that still throbbed in me at his man. “I mentioned you should manage it and do what you can for pay. Help get you out of that shit hole you call an apartment.”
“Don’t judge my shit hole,” I grumbled and started picking up my tools.
“Smudge his bike back up,” Teddy chuckled. “Fucker won’t recognize it looking so clean.”
I started to make my way to Teddy’s bike without bothering anymore with Wilson’s.
“Then point it out to him if he starts to think his got stolen,” I called back. “Let me know when you get shit started for the shop and I’ll do what I can.”
Any distraction would be a good distraction was the way that I saw it.
I spent the next couple of weeks doing it like that. I had a while before trial and I was determined to keep busy. I decided to not let any of it dwell in my head. It was work and if the Army taught me anything it was better to have work on your hands than to be idle. So I worked on everyone’s bikes, regardless as to whether or not I was asked to. I did work around the bar, replacing some rotted out wood and even climbing my ass up onto the roof to replace shingles. After I climbed down the latter I saw Wilson waiting on me with a scowl.
“The fuck did I do now?”
“You got a suit?” he asked, eyeing me as if I were something he had to look at and he found the act distasteful.
“Why would I?” I picked up the ladder to take it around to the little shed that sat behind the bar. “Do I look like a man that’d own a suit?”
“You’ll need it for trial, you can’t show up in a courtroom in jeans and a t-shirt covered in grease,” he followed me as I walked. “You’ve got a lot going for you in your corner, it’s in our best interest that you don’t look like some sort of punk kid.”
I snorted in amusement as I sat the latter in the shed, “Ain’t I a punk kid?”
“Exactly,” he grunted at me as he leaned back against the wall. “We’ve got to paint the picture of you being an upstanding citizen that was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. At least part of that will be true,” he chuckled to himself. “Give Cindy your pants size, I think she can probably find a decent one.”
I groaned, but I couldn’t argue. We went back into the bar to find the attorney waiting for us.
“This why you came to hunt me up?” I asked curiously.
“We do need to start preparing you for trial,” Warren spoke up from the table he was parked at. He already had a plate of wings and a pint of beer on the table. “Give you an idea as to what you should expect and how you’ll be expected to behave.”
I went to his table to join him, “I don’t get to just sit there and look pretty?”
Warren chuckled in amusement and I heard Wilson growl out, “Fucking kid.”
“No,” he shook his head. “While that’s the majority of what you will be doing, sitting there and listening. It’s in your best interest to pay attention and try to do your best to keep from looking bored. If you fall asleep, that can pretty much be a nail in the coffin for you.” He looked down at the meal before him and seemed to be considering his words, “You might be asked questions and it’ll be smart that you refrain from using profanity.” He looked at me, “Will the majority of your tattoos be covered by a suit?”
I didn’t have any on my neck and the only ones that I couldn’t cover were on my hands and fingers. I held up the back of my hands, “Unless I wore gloves, though I think that would be kind of lame.”
Warren nodded in agreement, “You can keep your hands off the table and it’ll be a little less telling. It’ll be pretty easy to clean you up and have you presentable looking next week.”
“I’m fine with cleaning up as long as I don’t end up in jail for something I didn’t do,” I told him stiffly. It’s not that I didn’t think I could hack jail, it’s just that I didn’t want to hack jail, especially when all I was doing was keeping an eye on someone. If I had to wear a monkey suit to keep my freedom, I’d do it.
24
Of course the trial was something that would creep up on me while I tried to ignore the stress and depression which were curling their fingers around my throat. I was so bound and determined to work my way through it that I had to spend the entire day before the actual trial scrubbing all the oil off my hands and working to make sure that I got the grease from under my fingernails. Cindy got me a suit that was only a little tight in the shoulders. When I tried it on for her she whistled low and eyed me in a way I wasn’t used to from her. Despite the fact that she enjoyed calling me ‘pretty boy.’
“If I were twenty years younger, boy,” she started as she helped adjust the jacket on me. “I would make it so you walked funny.”
“Jokes on you,” I shrugged, not liking the feel of the cotton on me. I felt trapped and cramped in it. “I already walk funny.”
I was given a white linen button down and a simple tie to polish off the yuppie look. Honestly, I would have preferred my dress uniform to this crap. I still had it in the back of my closet. I wore the shined up shoes to it so there was one thing that kept me from feeling too out of place,
really I felt more at home in my uniform than I did in this monkey suit. It didn’t help anything, all the preparing just made it harder for me to sleep.
So, I kept my work lighter and I spent the majority of the time, chewing my pills and having my tens unit taped to me. The night before I had Wilson eyeing me with something that looked like concern, “Are you going to need that tomorrow?”
I shook my head, “Even if I do hurt I’ll just suffer through it. It’ll keep me from falling asleep.”
“You got something you can take for that?”
“I got something that’ll make me look stoned,” I leaned over in my seated position and propped my elbows up on my knees. “Pretty sure we don’t want me looking high.”
He nodded and moved as if he were going to leave me alone now. But he paused, standing just a short distance away from me.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a length. “This would have been a whole lot easier if we just took your word for it.”
I nodded, not sure what to say because all this would have been avoided if they had trusted me.
It all came back to that. There was a lack of trust from Wilson and Teddy. There was a lack of trust from Madi. If they had just followed my hunch and questioned Jimmy they might have realized that I was telling the truth. Then I wouldn’t have been arrested and Madi wouldn’t have been forced to choose something. Our relationship was still new, so it was asking too much to expect her to stick with me. I realized that and I didn’t find myself angry with her, though maybe I should be. It didn’t seem fair that she didn’t even give me the chance to explain or defend myself. But, I guess it wasn’t fair to ask her to take on this stress.
“Yep,” was all I could say.
I hand fell on my shoulder and I felt it squeeze lightly, “I’ll do what I can to make it right.”
25
The trial was both boring and frustrating. There was a list of my crimes and the prosecution painted a picture of a wounded warrior turned junkie due to the number of medications I was on, a few of which were narcotics. The lady had a very viable picture of me seeking a better high by abusing methamphetamines. I’d never really been big into drugs. The only times I ever got drunk were more for a means to just numb my thoughts. Though, considering the fact that my medicine bag looked more like a pharmacy and the list of prescriptions I had I could see where she was getting at.
Fortunately, Warren was quick to point out just what the drug screening reported. I only took the medications that I needed to function. Taking all the others didn’t seem to have the desired effects and that was something I was willing to testify on. However, I didn’t get to testify at all. If anything all I got to do was sit and look pretty as my fate was argued between my attorney and a pretty lady that seemed all too eager to put me in jail.
This apparently was what the legal system passed for now a days.
Fortunately, for me, there was far too much evidence provided that proved that I was innocent. When the judge struck the gavel down on his bench it was ruled that was what I was. I was innocent, just a fool for being in the wrong place and at the wrong time. I got a steely eyed look from the man in the black robes and a stern, “Don’t let me see you in my courtroom again.”
I saluted and gave a convinced, “Yes sir.” I didn’t need to be told twice.
After that, it was our queue to leave. I turned, waiting as Warren packed up his things, and spotted a familiar brunette leaving the courtroom. Granted, brown hair was pretty common. I hadn’t heard from Madi since I was arrested, much less seen her. But at that brief sight I had to see if it was her for sure; if I could catch up. I shifted around Warren and breezed past Wilson and Teddy, trying to get out of the courtroom in a rush.
The hallway was empty of the brunette I had spotted so I followed the small crowd and filed out onto the steps of Greek inspired building. I didn’t see Madi. I looked at the cars that lined the street and didn’t spy her little sedan either.
Maybe it wasn’t her.
The idea made my chest hurt. She didn’t show up and she didn’t care.
“Why’d you run out?” Teddy snapped as he panted, probably having run to catch up with me. “That’s a shit way to show your appreciation for getting you out of bogus charges.”
“I thought,” I ran my hand through my hair then grimaced, it was stiff from an effort made to make me look less like a dirty biker and more like an average Joe. “I thought I saw someone,” I explained before turning back to him. “I guess I was wrong.”
He shrugged at me and I could tell he knew what I was talking about.
“You could always go try to track her down if you think it was her.” I shook my head, I was tired and the stress from the last few weeks had finally built up. Maybe I imagined her. “If you don’t want to,” he came closer and put a hand on my shoulder. “We can go back to the bar and have a celebratory drink. We still have a lot to do and plans to make for the shop.”
I nodded because I didn’t really have a choice; we all had came in Wilson’s grandpa car. Riding a motorcycle in might have garnered us the wrong kind of attention. Plus it would have wrinkled the monkey suit I wore. It had been dry cleaned and while I had no idea who it originally belonged to, I was going to make sure I had it cleaned again before I returned it.
“I’m ready to get out of here,” I admitted. “So the sooner we can leave the better.”
“I’ll go get Wilson and Michaels so we can hit the bricks,” Teddy offered and left me out there.
Had she been here? Or was it just my heart playing tricks on me?
26
I stumbled into my apartment, not drunk, but dead tired from the entire events of the trial and the celebration afterwards. I drug my fingers through my hair, trying to loosen up the stiffness from the product I used to give myself a respectable look. When I looked at myself in the mirror that morning while wearing the borrowed suit and having my hair slicked back, I was afraid of what I saw. I could have been a businessman, a yuppie, instead of a man that worked with my hands and lived to get dirty.
“Thank God for dodged bullets,” I muttered to myself as I tugged off the jacket and started to loosen the tie.
There was a knock at my door, holding me up from getting comfortable. I growled out a curse and went to answer it. I wasn’t keen on celebrating my proven innocent, so if it was Teddy or Wilson I was prepared to tell them to fuck off. I jerked the door open, the curse on the tip of my tongue. I held it though, dumbfound by who I saw on the other side of my door. It was like at the courthouse when I thought I saw her, I was struck.
Madi stood at the door, her hair loose around her shoulders and she wore a light blouse to go with a charcoal pencil skirt. She had taken on a relaxed look when she and I first started dating, it looked like she decided to keep it.
“Hi Sid,” she gave me a nervous smile.
I shook off the shock of seeing her and tried to mirror her smile, but it didn’t feel right.
“Hey Madison,” I thought I’d say her full name, because it had been a little while since I last spoke to her. “Did you…” I paused, trying to keep from losing my cool. I rubbed the back of my neck as I eyed her, I could feel my dick starting to betray me by just reacting to her appearance. “Did you need something?”
“I was hoping I could talk to you,” she fidgeted with hands in front of her, looking down and away from me. “May I come in?”
“Sure,” I stepped away from the door and opened it further for her. I watched her enter and it was like I hadn’t gotten her smell out of my nose or the feel of her out of my memory. It took all my damn restraint to not hug her to me. She decided when she cut contact with me that she didn’t want me anymore. “What did you want to talk about?”
I watched her take a breath then she looked at me, her green eyes huge behind her glasses and determined.
“I need to tell you that I’m sorry,” that caught me off guard. “You were right.”
These were two things a man never ex
pects to hear from a woman in one night. I might die.
“If I had bothered to analyze the time we had together before actually going to your trial,” Madi continued, “I would have known without a doubt that you were innocent.” I swallowed hard, she had been there. “I know you aren’t a terrible person,” her voice lowered and I watched her shift from one foot to another as she seemed to collect what she wanted to say.
“Thanks,” I kept my voice low, not wanting to give her any sort of distraction. “I appreciate it.”
“I’m a terrible girlfriend,” she blurted out suddenly, her face flushing. “I didn’t support you or believe you when you were telling the truth. I assumed the worse and found out that it wasn’t true.”