by Mitch Goth
Kellen sat in Remi's office and listened as her therapist explained all the answers to her problems, or at least all the possible outcomes. It'd been a few weeks since the happenings in Texas, and Remi wanted Kellen to talk about them. But Kellen stalled the talk until she could figure out all her thoughts on the matter. Whenever Kellen didn't have answers to something, Remi seemed disappointed, and she never wanted to disappoint Remi.
"So do you want to talk about Texas?" Remi inquired. It was the first time in two weeks.
Kellen paused. She still wasn't sure if she was ready. Her thoughts had been the same for several days, running like a finite reel through her head. Kellen figured if she was waiting for the perfect time to talk about it, the time would never come. "Sure," she said. "What do you want me to say about it?"
"I've heard a decent amount on the news and online about it." Remi admitted, tossing a black lock of hair from her eyes. "But I have heard nothing from you. How do you feel about it overall?"
"I'm fine." Kellen shrugged. "The whole thing won't be forgotten entirely, but I like to think most of it will go away soon enough."
"Do you want it to go away?"
"I don't know. Part of me says yes, like it's some kind of great trauma, something like..." Kellen trailed off, burdened by recollection.
"Like the death of your parents?"
"Yeah." Kellen nodded, looking down. "But another side says it's okay not to forget, you know? That it was a success, and we should always remember our successes. In a lot of ways, it is a success. Megan Mickelson is alive and well, reunited with her family, her friends, and can live her life again. It could've gone a lot worse than it did."
"So why perceive it as trauma?" Remi asked. Kellen was sure that Remi knew the answer already and merely asked to hear her say it. It was one of Remi's more common and most annoying traits, but, it always seemed to work the answers and the truth out of Kellen more often than not.
"I worked side-by-side with a killer," Kellen said. "I was aided by the very person I am out to catch and destroy."
"And to watch that person do what he was best at, right in front of you. What did that do to you?"
Kellen sighed. She didn't want to talk about the roof, but she had prepared for it to come up. "I wasn't much of a witness. All I saw was a split second of Ezra's kick, then I got a punch to the chest harder than I've ever felt before. When I came back to it, he was standing over me, offering a hand. I knew what'd happened, It was wrong, but in that moment I didn't care. That kinda sacred me. The man was a killer, but I always pay attention to death, always care about it. When Ezra kicked that man off the roof, I didn't care."
"What did you care about?"
"Mostly about helping Megan."
"Why do you think you didn't care for the killer?"
"Ezra. He must have gotten into my mind. I always care about death, always. Then, after working with him, someone gets kicked off a roof and I don't think twice about it. I can't tell how, but he got in mind, influenced my feelings." Kellen clasped her hands together. "The idea of letting that guy get into my head hurts worse than my chest ever did."
"How is that wound of yours now?"
"Fine," Kellen said. The shot had left a massive bruise on her chest, but that was gone now and only minor aches and pains remained. "Nothing broke, no permanent damage. I'd say I came out of it pretty well. I could tell that when I stood without Ezra's help."
"He offered it to you though?"
"Yeah," Kellen nodded, "he put down a hand expecting me to grab it. He'd been helpful throughout the investigation, in fact he was essential. As much as it pains me, as much as I hate it all, I have to say that Ezra Grazer is probably the only reason Megan is still alive. Without so much as visiting a single crime scene. He put pieces together than no one else could."
"Why do you think that is?" Remi inquired, looking intrigued.
"Because me and everyone I work with are the hunting dogs, put out by the hunter. The dogs are good, they catch prey more often than not, but there will always be something better than the dog at knowing where the prey is and how it will react: another piece of prey. Ezra could connect the dots of a killer because he is a killer, plain and simple. We're all out here, looking into these bent minds and trying to put two and two together, while he has one of those minds."
"So what makes him different?"
Kellen shrugged, "Maybe it's because he knows that he has one of these minds. He's aware of it too, but his awareness doesn't stop him. It's that awareness of himself that sets him apart. He knows he's a monster while the others just don't. And so he can analyze the mind of a killer in complete objectivity, despite having a mind like that himself."
"You've told me how he works, now tell me what you think. What is your opinion of this man?"
"He's not what he seems like on the news. The media makes him out as a darkened psycho, an evil genius, or an eccentric mind led astray by the world. Some people call him a saint or a worker of God for killing the people he did, while others, most cops, call him just another serial killer, and evil of the earth. But I only know one thing for sure. Ezra is dangerous. He's smart, manipulative, and highly trained. If he could make his way into my mind, he can do it again. I'm not sure what he's capable of, but I don't want to find out. He's a man who knows what he wants, knows how to get it, and will do damn near anything to get it."
"What do you think he wanted?"
"Ezra wanted to catch a killer. And that's exactly what he did. In his own twisted little way, he caught his killer, and given another opportunity, I'm sure he'd do it again."
"Do you think he wants another opportunity?"
Kellen mulled it over. She had learned that he had gotten no reward, large or small, for stopping the RV killer. But none of that seemed to matter to him at any point, not even a death sentence being passed down if he failed seem to phase him. As she'd said, Kellen was certain that Ezra was dangerous and determined to get what he wanted, no matter what. Ezra, from the beginning of his spree until then had always wanted to take care of the criminals and scum of the world, no matter the means. And so Kellen answered, "I have no doubt in my mind. But if I had it my way, he wouldn't get another chance."
"Why?"
"He's good at it, but he's volatile. Ezra is a serial murderer, and there are many reasons why he needs to stay behind bars."
She was sure it was true. Ezra was probably already waiting for another chance. A chance to prove himself further, and a chance to get back to doing what he wanted to do. If Kellen had a say, she would make sure he wouldn't get another opportunity. Ezra Grazer had done his good for the world. She didn't want him out in the world again, following her, tainting her mind.
The idea that Ezra had influenced Kellen's mind troubled her. She wanted to feel something for the man Ezra had kicked off that roof, but she didn't. If Ezra was able to do that to her mind in such a short time, Kellen didn't want to find out everything he would do to her head if he got the chance. Kellen was sure that, given enough time, Ezra would turn her into something like himself.
A shiver went down Kellen's spine. In the time she had spent with Ezra, she saw similarities between the two of them. Just like her, he was hell bent to catch a killer. When it came down to business, he was efficient and powerful, just like her. She hated having things in common with a murderer. Sharing traits with Ezra Grazer made her stomach turn.
"Are you afraid of what he could do to you?" Remi asked, as if reading Kellen's mind.
"I'm afraid of what that man can do to me, or anyone else around him if he's out in public again. It was an interesting experiment, but it won't happen again, not on my watch anyway."
"What if you need him like you did this time?"
Kellen sighed. "Remi, it'd take a lot more than a normal serial killer for me to want Ezra out again. It'll take something explosive for me to seek out his help and shit like that never happens."
"Never say never, Kellen."
"
Yeah, right." Kellen chuckled. "Never say never."
Book 2 ‘The Sunshine Spree’ Available Now!
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About the Author
Mitch Goth currently resides in Yellow Springs, Ohio, where he attends Antioch College. When not writing, he spends his time investigating the paranormal and indulging in a good book or movie.