by Jill Shalvis
Oh, God, she wanted to believe. “Are you sure?” she whispered.
“So sure,” he promised, shifting a little, putting himself into position for what came next, she realized.
Oh, God…
“There’s a first time for everything,” he said. “You know that, right?”
“Yes, but I’ve never been good at firsts.”
“You’ll be good at this,” he said with such certainty that she had to believe.
He pulled off his jacket and rolled it up, sliding it behind her, making her as comfortable as possible, and she understood he did it so that she’d be better able to push.
She was going to have to actually push.
“It’s going to be amazing,” he told her, talking, keeping up the steady stream of words probably to take her mind off what was about to happen. “Beautiful.”
“Beautiful,” she repeated.
“That’s right. Beautiful and life altering.” He pulled off his T-shirt, which was eye-opening, and for a minute it pulled her out of her own world of pain because wow. He really had it going on, a tough, hard, sinewy built with more than few tattoos—
He spread the shirt beneath her hips. It was the only clean thing they had, relatively speaking, and this baby needed clean. She felt the panic bubble over. “Hunter—”
“Beautiful and life altering,” he repeated. “You have to remember that. Be okay with it. Commit to it. Your baby deserves that.”
That was true.
So absolutely true.
“Now.” His eyes were dark, steadfast. “Let’s do this. Let’s have this baby. Your baby, Cece.”
The baby she hadn’t been sure she wanted until the day she’d felt something funny on her belly. Thinking a butterfly had landed on her or something, she’d looked down and seen nothing.
Because it had come from the inside. Her baby had kicked.
And from that day on, the baby had been hers, heart and soul.
She stared into Hunter’s face, suddenly no longer overwhelmed with horror and embarrassment about the position she was in, or the position he was in. Instead, she felt his hope grow within her and take root. “Ready,” she whispered.
His slow, warm smile was her reward. “Let’s do this, then. Let’s have this baby.”
JASON MANEUVERED the raft down the flooded streets of Santa Rey, toward Lizzy’s place. The going was tough, a virtual maze filled with death traps like garage doors, branches, lawn furniture and other debris moving along like bullets through the water.
He eyed the utter devastation all around them, the town so wrecked it’d lost its own sense of self, and felt the grimness settle in his gut.
He’d lost Matt on a day just like this.
And at the reminder, more than his gut hurt now. His damn soul hurt. How much suffering, how much destruction, he wondered, could a guy see and still remain attached? Emotionally involved?
Because he sure as hell hadn’t been emotionally involved when he’d gotten here.
Or attached.
To anything.
He looked at Lizzy and amended the thought—until her. Too bad she’d made it clear she didn’t plan on getting attached in return.
“I can’t believe it,” she murmured, looking shell-shocked as they floated along. “It’s like a bad dream.”
He didn’t answer, because to him, it was a bad dream coming back to life, and then she took his hand. “Hey. You okay?”
He looked down at the hand that covered his, then lifted his head to look into her eyes, and caught what was happening behind her.
They were coming up on a big intersection, the two raging rivers colliding with an awe-inspiring amount of power. As he knew all too well, hell hath no fury like the power of rushing water, and this particular fury was incredible. Right where the two streets converged lay a whirlpool.
A swirling, massive whirlpool.
His heart sank, his gut clenched, and in the blink of an eye he was back inside that boat, watching helplessly as Matt lost his life. “Lizzy,” he said hoarsely. “Get down—”
But it was too late. They flew into the vortex of the whirlpool and whipped around and flipped, and the next thing he knew the water was closing over his head. He pushed down, kicking to get under the water, not easy in a life vest, but he pushed hard to get to the place where he’d seen Lizzy go in.
He couldn’t find her. Even when his lungs threatened to burst, he stayed down, searching. Finally his body forced him to the surface, where he whipped his head right and left, desperately looking for her as he tumbled over and over.
His blood was pounding in his ears, roaring as loud as the water shoving him along at breakneck speeds. The raft was right in front of him.
But no Lizzy.
“Lizzy!” Gulping in more air, he dunked again, and by some miracle, caught sight of her about ten feet ahead of him, fighting like hell, just like she fought everything…life, love…and that’s when he knew she was the one for him, the only one.
14
NEVER IN LIZZY’S LIFE had she experienced anything like the river that shoved and pulled and slammed where it pleased, which pissed her off, and she fought the current like hell.
It didn’t help.
“Jason!” she yelled, or tried to, but the water swamped her mouth so she only got out the first syllable. She could see sky, and then the roof of a building she recognized, a light signal. Oh, hell, no way was she going to die like this. “Jason!”
But then she got rudely tumbled, and couldn’t see anything but the frothy, churning water as it tossed her about as if she’d landed in the spin cycle of a heavy-duty washing machine. Fighting for air, she tried yelling for Jason again but her mouth kept filling up with water. Gross, icky water. And the oddest things kept going through her head.
She hadn’t fed her goldfish that morning.
She hadn’t yet held her new niece or nephew.
And she’d never let herself say I love you to a man. She’d never wanted to, but now, while being unceremoniously tossed around without will or way, she realized how sad that was, that she’d never opened her heart, not even with the one person to tempt her to do so.
Jason.
God, she’d been an annoying pain in the ass. Damn, the water was cold. Something rushed by her and she reached out for it, but it slipped through her fingers. Dammit. “Jason!” she tried again, but the water carried her voice away, choking her.
She struggled wildly to stop her momentum, to stand up, anything, but she discovered something right then, something a little horrifying. She was good in an emergency, but only if it was someone else’s emergency.
Then, through her battle with the water, she thought she heard her name.
Jason. He had to be close by, and she struggled anew, nearly getting upright in the churning, rushing flood, which was good, because her lungs couldn’t take another second.
A powerful hand clamped over her wrist and tugged, and finally, she got her head above water. Gulping hungrily for air, she gasped and coughed as she opened her eyes. Jason had her in one hand and the raft in another. He was letting the current whip them along through the worst of the rushing water, past the entire intersection, where it slowed. There, he swam them to the side, pushing her and the raft ahead of him. The moment she grabbed on to a bus bench, the water swirling up to the seat, she dragged in more precious air, feeling nothing short of sheer awe at what had just happened.
“Two-two,” Jason said, and pulled himself up beside her, breathing as raggedly as she.
With a half laugh, she turned to him, arms open, and he swam right into them. “It’s okay,” he murmured, stroking a hand down her back. “I’ve got you—”
“I know.” She tipped her head up, a relieved, grateful smile on her lips, which abruptly faded at the look on his face. He was pale, his eyes dark and haunted. “Jase—”
“You’re shaking,” he said, and tightened his grip.
“No,” she realized. “That’s you.”<
br />
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry.” He simply tightened his grip and buried his face into the crook of her neck, the muscles in his arms banded around her quivering.
“Jason—”
“Give me a minute.”
He hugged her, then ran his hands down her body, making sure she wasn’t hurt, but she grabbed them, wrapped her fingers around his and pressed them to her chest. His eyes were stark and bleak and broke her heart. They were full with grief and memories and horror, and she knew he’d been transported back to when he’d lost Matt. “Jason, look at me. I’m okay.”
“Yeah. I know.” He nodded and tried to pull away, but she grabbed his face and put hers right in his. “Jase.”
He nodded again, then shook his head and closed his eyes. “I thought—When I couldn’t see you, for a minute I thought you—”
“I didn’t.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him in so tight she couldn’t breathe. But that was okay, he wasn’t breathing, either. He was holding his breath, gripping her hard, and she ran her hands up and down his back, trying to soothe, to bring him out of it. “I remembered something back there. I forgot to feed my goldfish yesterday.”
He lifted his head, his eyes clearer now, possibly even shining with humor. “You’re something, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
His eyes never left hers. “I meant it as a compliment.”
Her entire heart softened. “Jase—”
“Yeah, I know. We have to go.” He held the raft steady for her to get in.
She looked at it. That hadn’t been what she’d been about to say, but because she wasn’t exactly sure what she’d intended to come out of her mouth, and because Cece was still out there, she did the only thing she could—she got into the raft.
JASON KEPT CAREFUL control of their progress, not interested in another Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Hell, no, not when his heart was threatening to burst right out of his chest. He was concentrating on speed and direction and the fact that Lizzy was shivering wildly, when his cell phone rang, startling the hell out of him.
“I thought it wasn’t working,” Lizzy said through her chattering teeth.
“Me, too. Hello?”
“Did you just go floating down Third?” Dustin asked incredulously.
“Yeah.” Jason whipped around, left then right, searching for his brother. “Where the hell are you?”
“Pull over.”
Jason worked the raft to the side. Lizzy helped, grabbing on to a stop sign to hold them just as another boat turned the corner.
It was search and rescue, used on the lakes in the hills by the sheriffs who patrolled the rural areas. In it were a handful of rescue personnel, including Dustin.
Who immediately hopped into the raft and, right there in front of everyone, hauled Jason in for a tight, hard hug. Jason closed his eyes and hugged him back.
“Damn,” Dustin said, voice thick, pulling free only far enough to look into Jason’s face. “You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
“You just saw me a month ago.”
“Eight. Eight months ago. Asshole.” Dustin looked him over as if he was a piece of fruit on an inspection table.
“What are you looking for?”
“New scars. Hey, Lizzy,” he said, without taking his eyes off his brother. “He treating you right?”
When she didn’t immediately answer, Jason turned his head and met her gaze, which was surprisingly bright.
“Yes,” she whispered, sounding like her throat was tight. “He’s treating me right.”
For some stupid reason, Jason’s throat tightened, too, and he couldn’t speak.
“Where’s Cece?” Dustin asked.
“We don’t know yet.” God. God, look at her. She had an entire world in her eyes. And he knew right then it was complete bullshit that she didn’t want to see where this thing could go.
Dustin finally turned to look at Lizzy, then took a second look before pulling Jason close. “Already? You’ve been home one day and you already slept with her?”
“You did not read that off me.”
Dustin shook his head in disgust, then moved closer to Lizzy to hug her, as well, whispering something in her ear that made her smile.
Dustin said something else, and she gave herself away by giving a quick glance in Jason’s direction, one that had him rolling his eyes at Dustin’s back.
Lizzy burrowed into Dustin as if they were long-lost lovers, and ridiculously, Jason felt the green-eyed monster bite him on the ass. When Dustin turned and met Jason’s narrowed gaze, arching a superior brow as he held his woman in his arms, Jason showed Dustin his middle finger.
Dustin merely grinned.
Oblivious, Lizzy squeezed Dustin’s hand. “You’re sweet.”
Sweet? His brother was sweet? What about him? He was the one who’d gotten out of bed and leaped into the storm to help her, the one who hadn’t left her side for over twenty-four hours. Dammit, he was the sweet one!
Dustin gave Lizzy one last hug, and then a damn kiss on the cheek that was only a fraction from meeting her lips, sending Jason another look over his shoulder before getting back into his own boat. “Are you sure?” he said directly to Lizzy.
“Sure what?” Jason asked.
“I’m sure,” Lizzy said, and blew Dustin a kiss.
“Sure what?”
Dustin looked at Jason, his expression softening. “Yeah, definitely a sight for sore eyes.”
And then he was gone.
Jason turned to Lizzy, who avoided his gaze as they pushed off and once again began making their way toward her neighborhood.
The silence grew until Jason couldn’t take it. Even knowing he sounded like an ass didn’t keep the words in. “He’s taken, you know. And I’ve only met her once, but I can tell you this much. Cristina doesn’t share.”
Lizzy looked over at him, her eyes going so glacial as to nearly freeze his balls off. “Are you insinuating that I’m interested in your brother? Sexually?”
He opened his mouth but she held up a finger. “No, seriously,” she said. “Is that what you’re suggesting? That I would be sexual with you, while also being sexual with him?”
Well, shit. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, I believe you did.”
“Okay, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“How about pissing me off? Did you mean to do that? Because that you succeeded at.” She snatched the single oar out of his hand and whirled away from him, using her obvious pent-up temper to steer.
He grimaced. “You need to keep the oar—”
She sent him a death glare and he raised his hands, letting her continue. Incorrectly. He tried not to wince when they spun in a circle, then nearly hit the top of a parking meter. “I didn’t think you were doing my brother,” he said to her stiff spine. “It was instinctive. You were plastered up all over him, and—” He broke it off when once again she whirled on him, watching warily how she gripped the oar as if just by being in her hands it was tempting her to clobber him. “Yeah, about that oar,” he said. “You—”
She slammed it back into the water, and unfortunately right into a pole. Before he could react, she went flying in the water. He spared one blink of an eye to sigh and think “shit!” before he dove in after her.
She saved herself so that by the time he got to her, she didn’t need him. But he still kept his hands on her, helping her into the boat.
“Thanks.”
She said it so begrudgingly he had to let out a short laugh as he hoisted himself up to the edge of the raft and looked at her. “And you should know, I kiss better than Dustin.”
She stared at him, then planted a hand in the middle of his chest and shoved, dunking him back into the water.
LIZZY LOVED HER neighborhood. It had gone south in the eighties, been revitalized in the nineties, and had stood still in time since, so the houses were far more affordable than on the other side of town.
The water le
vel hadn’t risen as high here, only a few feet. Most houses they passed hadn’t flooded, thanks to their concrete footings and foundations.
But the devastation still shocked her. Trees down. Cars buried under them. Roofs destroyed. Yards gone.
And it was still raining.
“Are you hanging in okay?” he asked quietly.
She looked at him, then closed her eyes. “Don’t be nice.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’ll confuse me.”
He blinked, then shook his wet head. “Okay, you’re going to have to explain that to me.”
“I really want to stay mad at you. So if you don’t mind, you need to go back to being an ass.”
“And you’ll go back to what?”
“Being Lizzy. A sister. A nurse. It’s what I do, it’s what makes me happy.”
“And a soon-to-be doctor,” he reminded her.
Right. How had she forgotten that? “Yes, but the point is the happy part.”
“Everyone should do what makes them happy.”
“Yes,” she whispered, wondering why then she didn’t feel that way.
They turned the corner to her street, where they were able to abandon the raft and wade the rest of the way in. They passed her neighbor’s house; Mike’s okay, not too badly damaged. Her house was the last on the street. She’d lost a tree in her front yard, which had missed her roof by inches, but at least she still had a roof. She stared at the place in relief. “I half expected it to be gone.”
It was tiny inside, postage-stamp tiny, with the kitchen and living room all together, and two little bedrooms off a small hallway, with one bathroom between them, but it was hers. All hers, cozy and neat, just how she’d left it.
And empty. “She’s not here.”
Jason walked through, his big, wet body making the rooms appear even smaller. He stopped in front of her, running his hands up and down her arms, making her realize she was still shivering. “Which meant she really did get out. That’s a good thing, Lizzy.”