Fire Below

by Owen McCafferty

Tom houses shouldn’t have names – it’s stupid

  Gerry ofmdfm

  Rosemary just call it the assembly

  Gerry i like that

  Rosemary ard-oifig

  Maggie stops Tom repeating Rosemary with a look.

  Gerry where do you live – the assembly

  Tom nice ring to it

  Maggie cherry hill – i’m going to pretend it’s called that anyway

  Gerry the assembly on the hill – couldn’t do any worse than the one we have

  Tom no – houses down in the estate would have good names i’d say

  Gerry orange grove

  Maggie very good

  Gerry orange parade

  Tom that would be a street

  Maggie i don’t think that estate was meant to be like that

  Tom be like what – a kip

  Rosemary it’s not a kip

  Tom it’s a kip

  Maggie it wasn’t meant to be just all the one side

  Gerry somebody must’ve decided something

  Maggie if it was being built at the time of the good friday agreement i don’t see how they thought it was a good idea not to make it mixed

  Tom that’s what’s wrong with the working class – they don’t like mixed areas – that’s what’s ruined this place – wasn’t like that before

  Rosemary i agree with that – we were sitting on our patio looking at the building site – we were saying – how brilliant it would be to live overlooking a truly mixed estate – how that in itself promotes mixed education and eventually that spreads throughout society

  Maggie priests – there’ll be no mixed education system while they’re around – men

  Gerry nuns Rosemary nuns might as well be men

  Maggie priests didn’t have anything to do with that estate – all it takes is for someone to say – i don’t want to live beside that family – i don’t want to do that – i don’t want to do this – so instead of forcing people together – forcing people to live together – the politicians take the easy way out – right live with your own – there you go

  Gerry we should’ve protested – placards on the patio

  Maggie that’s what’s wrong – we don’t protest enough – don’t shout enough

  Tom what were we going to do – put a big banner across the back of the house – only people who think like us – we don’t mind if they have slightly less money and drink cider instead of wine

  Maggie you know i’m right

  Rosemary you are right

  Gerry you are right

  Tom you are right – if right was a person it would be you

  Maggie oh piss off – hope they burn your outhouse to the ground

  Gerry so do i – could we build a house on that – a proper house

  Tom i enquired about that years ago – they won’t give you planning permission

  Maggie something to do with living on the bend of a main road

  Tom access – easy access or safe access – something like that

  Gerry you enquired about building a house in my garden

  Tom yes – we were thinking of going back to the good old days when you could burn catholics out and take their houses – i was thinking about a house at the bottom of our garden

  Gerry so just a patio then

  Maggie protestants were burnt out as well

  Rosemary shut up

  A moment.

  we’re just fixing the roof

  Silence.

  Tom the wine’s nice

  Rosemary shipping direct

  Maggie i use them

  Rosemary there was a deal – fifty-seven pounds a case

  Maggie it’s lovely – shipping direct are very knowledgeable – they really know what they’re doing – i’m going to use them all the time now

  Tom we’re on wine every night now

  Maggie just a glass or two

  Tom a bottle and a half

  Rosemary he’d drink that on his own

  Gerry you need a nightcap

  Rosemary you’d drink it out of a nightcap

  Gerry why is it women can drink what they want and it’s fine but men are all pissheads

  Maggie because men are all pissheads

  Rosemary you see – everyone knows – it’s a fact

  Tom this is the raw material we have to work with

  Maggie best thing ever happened to you – only for me you’d be more of a pisshead then you already are

  Tom i count my blessings dearest

  Gerry young love – there’s nothing like it

  Tom go on say it – say it – and – this – is

  Gerry nothing like it

  A cheer.

  there’s some activity down there – the matches are at the ready – the officials are in place and we’re just waiting on the referee’s whistle

  Tom something fascinating about fire

  Gerry false alarm – barbecue

  Maggie any word from maeve

  Rosemary she’s in bolivia now

  Maggie i’d be worried sick

  Rosemary i am but what can you do

  Gerry i don’t want the kids here – better off elsewhere – different life – where’s your keith – leeds doing law – better off for it – what would he want to be back here for

  Tom exactly – say hello now and again on the phone – make sure they’re alright – see if they need a few quid – no need to be hanging round here

  Maggie you miss them though

  Rosemary i talk to maive on skype

  Maggie it’s brilliant

  Gerry another thing too – i don’t want them to be made feel guilty for not coming back here and trying to make this a better place – i want them to make somewhere else a better place – or better still go to a place where they don’t have to make it better because it’s already good enough

  Tom if you’re in belfast for a weekend it’s meant to be good

  Gerry let them come home for a weekend then

  Rosemary i’d love to have gone away travelling

  Gerry we’ve been on holiday in spain or thereabouts every year for the last twenty years

  Rosemary i mean when i was young – on my own

  Maggie where would you have gone

  Rosemary don’t know – a few places – vietnam – russia – nepal – i always liked the idea of cuba

  Gerry all poor places

  Rosemary for the experience of it

  Gerry aye – for the experience of it – couldn’t see you in a tent in nepal somehow

  Rosemary not now – then – not now

  Maggie i’ve always wanted to go to israel

  Gerry israel

  Maggie for the history of it – see it for myself

  Tom any type of travelling is good – that’s what’s wrong with people here they don’t travel enough – even if you’re on a package holiday or something – take a walk down to the local shops

  Gerry is that why you speak irish

  Tom i’m making an effort

  Gerry you are tom – you’re making an effort

  Tom mhuin do bhean a lán dom

  Gerry is that right – very good – i’ll have to think about that and decide what action to take

  Tom what

  Gerry what – i’ve been taking irish classes – did rosemary not tell you

  Rosemary níor inis – amadán

  A tiny moment.

  Gerry got ya – had you worried there – cracked your wee code

  Tom no code to crack gerry – just speaking another language that’s all

  Gerry what you say the last time – what was it

  Tom that i was making an effort and sometimes it was difficult

  Maggie they say the older you get the harder it is to learn a language

  Gerry fuck other languages – although in saying that i think if you live in another country it should be compulsory to learn the language of that country – there’s nothing worse than foreigners speak
ing english that you can’t understand – you have to keep saying i don’t understand – they think you’re being shitty with them – you can’t say that though because it’s racist – even though it’s common sense

  Tom there’s no common sense any more

  Maggie no common sense any more

  Rosemary people should always be respectful of where they live and abide by the rules of that country – if you don’t want to do that you shouldn’t go there

  Tom is that not common sense – but no – this is going to sound racist – but that doesn’t mean it is racist – in some city in england – birmingham maybe – there was a big billboard advertising women’s thongs

  Rosemary as you do

  Gerry you have to advertise them to sell them

  Rosemary thongs – i can tell you one thing for sure it wasn’t a woman that invented them

  Maggie when they were in i liked them – they’re not in now

  Tom can’t remember you wearing them

  Maggie either you’ve a bad memory or you weren’t there when i had them on

  Rosemary now you’re talking

  Tom they were on the billboard – so there was a picture of four women – you couldn’t see their faces – wearing different coloured thongs – and underneath it said thongs for the memories – so – it’s meant to be funny – the billboard was beside a mosque – there were complaints made that it was offensive to those attending the mosque – both men and women – so it had to be taken down – it wasn’t meant to be offensive it was just there to sell something – we are a western capitalist country – that’s what we do and whoever lives here needs to understand that

  Gerry we don’t live in england by the way

  Tom aye but it’s the same – a few glasses of wine and he’s all we don’t live in england – western capitalist country – it could happen here just as easy – there’s muslims popping up everywhere

  Maggie that’s true

  Gerry i see smoke

  Tom smoke

  Gerry this needs to be marked – we’ll hum and dance

  Tom hum to what

  Gerry if you leave me now by chicago

  Tom in the spirit of the good friday agreement we’ll swap partners

  Gerry girls

  Maggie right right

  Gerry starts humming the tune. They stand up and move towards their dancing partners – slowly dancing all the while. They dance – it is a mixture of humming and a few lines of the song. They are all out of tune. They dance for as long as they imagine the song lasts.

  Rosemary will i change the music – get the dancing going

  Tom yes

  Maggie later

  Rosemary it’s not the right bonfire

  Gerry what way not right

  Rosemary i think that’s just one for the kids

  Tom the kids

  Rosemary it’s just a wee one – look – it must be a new thing

  They look.

  Gerry i was ready to go there – fuck that

  They sit. Silence.

  Rosemary it’s brilliant sitting here and looking over the entire city – few people get a chance to do that

  Maggie i used to bring the kids out at night and make them stand there and look – i used to say to them – this is where you’re from – this is your city

  Rosemary it’s beautiful

  Gerry the lovely belfast

  Tom it’s strange isn’t it – those kids down there thinking setting fire to something is fun

  Rosemary all kids think setting fire to something is fun

  Gerry true – any bonfire – it doesn’t matter what side or what it’s pretending to celebrate – you shouldn’t bring your kids like

  Tom that’s right – you should always want something different for your kids – it’s like the travel thing – you want them here but they’re better off away

  Maggie you can’t blame kids for standing round a bonfire

  Gerry it’s a family thing – they’re all down there

  Maggie if you were brought up like that you’d be down there

  Gerry that’s the point – it’s the way kids are brought up – it’s the parents – it’s always the parents

  Rosemary a friend of mine is a schoolteacher – different part of belfast – it’s the same though – nightmare – she says parent-teacher meetings are a joke – she’s sitting all dressed to the nines – the other side of the table two scrubbers in tracksuits – why’s our jimmy – or whatever – not doing well at school – she has to pretend that everyone’s trying – and wee jimmy this and wee jimmy that – the real truth is they sit in the house all day smoking joints – and then she puts toothpaste on his dick – because apparently everyone is doing these days – what chance has wee jimmy got

  Tom toothpaste on the dick is it

  Gerry how bored do you need to get – what’s going on in your head to think – you know that stuff we use to clean our teeth – what about you put some on my dick and then we’ll have a ride and see how that goes

  Maggie i thought it was for blowjobs

  Gerry right – hadn’t thought of that

  Maggie why would you

  Rosemary no i think it’s for intercourse

  Gerry intercourse – intercourse – what’s that

  Tom intercourse – never heard of it

  Rosemary suirí – ag deanamh suirí

  Gerry toothpaste – have to give that a burl

  Rosemary it’s difficult enough to get you to put it on your teeth

  Tom teeth – toothpaste – that’s the old way – the working class – all that shit – it is my right to put toothpaste on my dick – and if i want my child to spend his time dicking up the toothpaste that’s his right

  Gerry would anyone like to partake in a massive spliff of skunk

  Maggie a massive spliff of skunk

  Gerry that’s what they’re at during the day – all they do is sit around and smoke blow

  Tom that sounds like a good way to spend your day actually

  Gerry that’s tomorrow sorted then

  Tom we could go on the march – go to the field – make a picnic of it

  Gerry march march march march march

  Rosemary my dad’s friend – a catholic – used to go to the field

  Maggie you could do things like that years ago

  Rosemary he worked in the fruit market – sold flowers at it – why would people be buying flowers at the field

  Tom don’t know – never been – flowers doesn’t seem right

  Gerry orange lilies

  Tom orange lilies

  Rosemary made a fortune

  Gerry we’re sitting here watching this and these pictures go out all over the world

  Rosemary pictures of us – should’ve done my hair

  Maggie imagine people were watching us doing this – if they didn’t hear what we were saying they wouldn’t know what we were doing

  Gerry stupid – idiotic – pictures of people burning stuff – they go out all over the world – that’s who the rest of the world think we are – bloody third-world image

  Maggie we need the spotlight – all got too used to it

  Rosemary that’s the problem isn’t it – once the spotlight is on you it’s difficult to move away from it – politicians here still think we’re on the world stage

  Gerry the one i hate is politicians from here going to the white house for saint patrick’s day – nonsense – i don’t care about saint patrick’s day right – but – if you’re going to celebrate saint patrick’s day you’d think you’d celebrate it in his country – but no – have to go to america to celebrate it – you know what that’s all about

  Maggie saying you’ve been to the white house

  Gerry correct – it’s also a working-class thing – it’s about getting to the white house – come from nothing now i’m in the white house – as if a black president cared about saint patrick’s day

  Maggie that
’s right

  Rosemary not high on his agenda

  Tom irish vote in america – right – what do those shit-kickers eat and drink – bog water and turf

  Rosemary before i did my law degree i went to america for a month – do you have tv in ireland – do you have fish in ireland – jesus christ – a civil war – this guy actually said to me – civil war – that must be great – and now we run over there because they dye the rivers green – useless bloody place

  Gerry america – always makes me think that we can’t look after our own affairs

  Maggie we can’t

  Tom if it was solely left to business it would be sorted out – business people – like the mafia – know all this world terrorism stuff – get the mafia to sort that out – over and done within days

  Gerry just sitting here talking and drinking things are sorted out within seconds – just like that – a click of the fingers – mafia – terrorism – over – education and alcohol – there isn’t a problem in the world that can’t be sorted out with those two things – terrorism – mafia – done – sorted

  Maggie it’s a serious thing though

  Gerry what is

  Maggie terrorism

  Tom that’s why the mob are the boys to sort it out

  Maggie innocent people die – it’s not a joke

  Tom what are you doing – we’re not – it’s just talk

  Maggie i’m just saying

  Tom is that right – were you in the middle of it all

  Maggie because you’re not in the middle of something doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion about it – or it doesn’t affect you

  Gerry narrative – isn’t that the in word at the moment – narrative – any type of debate about anything – any moment in history – anything – what you have to do is control the narrative

  Rosemary srian ar an scéal

  Gerry what

  Rosemary control the narrative

  Tom it’s right though

  Maggie it is right yes – i have a narrative tom – i have a story to be listened to

  Rosemary we all do – but the working class has the narrative here – i know it’s treated like a crime to say that – but that doesn’t make it any less true

  Tom narrative – narrative – narrative – we all have a narrative

  Rosemary nach dóigh libh go bhfuil smacht againn

  Tom yes – didn’t i just say so