But he was dead now. Either by jumping out the window of his penthouse or by being thrown out of it.
“Shit,” I whispered.
“What?” Dez pulled away from the curb. “What are you looking at?”
I cranked my neck, about to tell him to stop the vehicle, but in a blink of an eye, Senator Fisher was gone. Dammit. I sat back against the seat. He’d spilled the beans on the Harbinger and Bael after a few minutes of “talking” with Zayne, but he could’ve been holding back on information—information he might be more likely to share now that he was super-duper-dead.
“It was Senator Fisher,” I told him.
Only a few Wardens knew what I was—Dez and Nicolai were two of them. Gideon, another Warden, only knew I could see ghosts, but since everything had gone down with Zayne, I was sure the Trueborn was out of the bag with the entire clan.
“Isn’t he dead—wait.” He glanced at me as we came to a stoplight. “You mean you saw his ghost?”
“Yeah, he...didn’t look so great.” Wondering if the senator had been looking for me, I kept my gaze glued to the windows for any sign of a possibly demented fallen angel. Not like I’d be able to see him coming until it was too late, but whatever.
“If someone is a ghost, that means they haven’t moved on, right? And spirits are those who’ve crossed over.” Dez had surmised correctly.
“Yep.” I squeezed my knees with my icy fingers. “Can’t say I’m surprised that Fisher hasn’t moved on.”
“Probably because he’s afraid of where he’s going to go.”
“No doubt.”
Silence fell between us as Dez drove, the twinkling city lights giving way to stretches of darkness as we crossed the Potomac. The silence didn’t last long. “You hanging in there?” he asked.
I nodded.
“How are you healing?”
“Good,” I said, my fingers tightening around my knees as I stamped down the burst of irritation. Dez wasn’t just being nice. He was nice, like Zayne. I shouldn’t be annoyed with his concern. “It looks worse than it feels.”
“That’s a relief, because I’ve got to be honest with you—it looks painful.”
“It wasn’t very...fun in the beginning.” It actually had been Hell. Not just the torn skin healing or the shattered bones knitting together, but waking up and remembering that Zayne was really gone had been the worse part. I would gladly live through a thousand hours of my body healing over and over again to not experience the cold, heartbreaking reality of his death.
And there was a chance I’d have to go through that again.
I sucked in a sharp breath, loosening the grip on my knees.
“I know...I know Zayne meant a lot to you,” Dez said after a moment, and I squeezed my eyes shut. The motion caused the tender, still healing skin to pull. “I know you meant a lot to him. He meant a lot to all of us.” He inhaled a shaky breath, and it took everything in me not to tell him right then what was going on, but I only wanted to explain everything once. “He was...”
Zayne was everything.
Dez cleared his throat. “He was the best of us. I don’t think he ever realized that, and I know for sure he didn’t understand that all of us would’ve rallied behind him if he took over after his father. We didn’t care about what happened in the past. He may have been missing a part of his soul, but he—he had more soul than most of us.”
I looked over at him, wishing Zayne was here to hear that, but Dez would get the chance to tell him. I just had to...stab him in the heart with the Sword of Michael.
God.
Pulling my gaze away, I let out a ragged breath. “It bothered Zayne for a while—the whole not taking on the role as the clan leader thing—but he’d come to terms with it. He...he realized that who he was becoming didn’t line up with a lot of what other Wardens believed. He was okay with it. Really.”
“He told you this?”
“Yes.”
“He was talking about the ‘kill all demons on sight’ stance most Wardens have?” he guessed. “Not all of us are that way. I’m not. Neither is Nicolai.”
I’d already figured that, considering they had worked with Roth and Cayman in the past.
“But I get it,” Dez went on. “Especially after what went down with Layla. There was no going back after that.”
No, there wasn’t. Not when Zayne’s father and almost the entire clan had been ready to kill her after she’d accidentally taken a part of his soul. They’d raised her and should’ve known there had been no malicious intent behind her actions, just stupidity on both her side and Zayne’s.
The jealousy over Zayne and Layla’s previous relationship was long gone. So was the weird mixture of bitterness that surrounded the knowledge that it was supposed to have been me who’d been raised alongside Zayne.
None of that mattered now, and it annoyed me that I had wasted time on it.
“By the way,” Dez said. “You’re bleeding.”
“What?” Lifting my hand, I touched my chin. My fingers came away smudged. So, it was my blood. I wiped my fingers on my jeans. “It’s nothing.”
“Uh-huh,” he murmured.
Luckily, he didn’t speak after that, but the trip to the Warden compound seemed to take forever. When he finally pulled up in front of the massive house, I nearly launched myself out of the SUV. Dez was right behind me. I started forward.
And promptly tripped over the first step, having not seen it.
Catching myself, I sighed and then carefully walked forward. Dez reached around me, opening the door, and we stepped inside. It took a couple of moments for my eyes to adjust to the bright light of the foyer as I followed Dez toward Nicolai’s office. On the way we passed a few Wardens either off for the night or heading in. The wide berth they gave us told me they probably had learned the truth about me.
I should be worried. There were Wardens out there who weren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of a Trueborn being around. A lot had to do with a history that was mostly forgotten, one that I hadn’t even known about until Thierry, the head of the Potomac Highlands clan who was more of a father to me than Michael was, told me. Apparently it had to do with a bonding and it led to a rebellion. A whole lot of Wardens were killed, bonds to the Wardens were severed and the Trueborns died off.
Until me.
And until Sulien.
But he was dead, so whatever, until me.
Dez pushed open the door, and I saw Nicolai first. The youngest clan leader sat behind the kind of desk Thierry often sat behind. He had a pretty impressive scar along his face, which only added to his air of badassery. The dark, glossy-haired female Warden standing next to him also took him up a level. Danika was like no female Warden I knew. I couldn’t even compare her to Jada, who was also bold. Danika simply didn’t play by the archaic rules surrounding the females, and the fact that Nicolai didn’t try to put her back in that gilded cage made me like him even more.
Gideon was also present, standing on the other side of Nicolai, his phone cradled in his palm. Zayne always referred to him as the resident tech expert while I thought of him as the resident hacker and jack-of-all-trades.
He eyed me as I walked forward, and I wondered if he was thinking about the time he was in here with Nicolai and Zayne, when he learned I could see ghosts. He’d thought I had watered-down angel blood in me. Based on the tiny step back he took, I believed he now knew I had a whole lot in me.
Shoulder-length brown hair fell back as Nicolai lifted his head. He started to speak, but Danika beat him to it.
Concern filled her voice as she straightened. “Are you injured, Trinity?”
Wishing I’d stopped to wipe the blood from my face, I shook my head. “It’s minor.”
“I can get my sister,” she offered, stepping away from the desk. “You have blood coming out of your ears. I’m no docto
r, but that doesn’t seem minor.”
Crap.
I forgot about that, too.
“That’s not necessary.” I glanced at the chair and started to sit but remembered I was drenched. I’d already ruined enough upholstery today. “I’m fine.”
Danika looked like she wanted to argue. “If you’re sure.” She glanced at Gideon. “We were just on our way out—”
“It’s okay. You guys don’t have to leave.” I crossed my arms. “It’s probably best if you all hear this firsthand.”
“Does whatever you have to tell us explain why you look worse than the last time I saw you?” Nicolai asked.
My lips pursed. I thought I looked way improved from last time. Then again, I hadn’t seen my reflection. “It does.”
“Okay.” He nodded at the chair. “At least sit down. I don’t care if you get it wet.”
Murmuring my thanks, I sat down. The immediate relief that shuttled through me was an indication that Nicolai’s observation on my appearance probably wasn’t far off from reality. “I don’t know how to say this other than to just come out and say it,” I said as Dez took a position against the wall. “Zayne is alive.”
4
Everyone froze. I don’t think they breathed, and no one said anything for so long I was about to say it again when Dez finally snapped out of it.
“Trinity, he can’t be,” he said, voice soft and too gentle.
“Trust me, I know how it sounds, but he’s alive. I saw him. I talked to him. I felt him. He’s flesh and bone and winged,” I told them. “He’s alive, but he’s not exactly the same. He’s a fallen angel, still in possession of his wings and a whole lot of heavenly fire. Grace.”
Nicolai and Danika stared blankly at me, and I assumed both Dez and Gideon were doing the same.
“And he’s partly responsible for this.” I gestured at myself. “And the Throne that I ended up talking to after seeing Zayne is responsible for the bleeding ears.”
The phone slipped out of Gideon’s palm and hit the floor with a heavy thud.
“You probably want to leave that there since I’m just getting started,” I told him.
“Okay,” Gideon whispered.
“Zayne found me in Rock Creek Park, and he didn’t really recognize me. It was like he did and then he couldn’t, and he went all Fight Club on me. I managed to get away—well, I sort of cut him and ran away, and while I was running, I heard this voice in my head telling me to go to the church.”
Across from me, Nicolai blinked slowly.
Knowing how out there all of this sounded, I still forged forward. “That’s where I saw the Throne, and a bunch of creepy stone angels, but they are kind of irrelevant even though the sight of them moving is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. The Throne told me what happened,” I said, and then I told them everything that the Throne had shared with me up until what I had to do. How Zayne had been given a choice. The burn upon reentry. And how, in his current state, he viewed Wardens and anything with grace in them as the enemy. I told them that the Throne had warned that Zayne...that he could become a risk to innocent people. When I finished, all I wanted to do was get back out there and find him.
Find him before he became what the Throne warned—before he did something he could never forgive himself for.
“He...he earned back his Glory, which... I’m not quite sure what that means, and he Fell so that he could—” My voice cracked, and every part of me tensed. I exhaled slowly through my nose as my eyes burned. “He Fell to come back and fight beside me—for me.”
“It’s the soul,” Gideon said hoarsely, drawing my attention. “Glory is basically the equivalent of a human soul, but for angels.”
Oh.
That made sense.
And it also made it so much worse, because did that mean Zayne had lost his soul?
“The Glory is why we—why Wardens—have a pure soul,” Gideon went on, and he looked like he needed to sit down. “Without it, he would be...”
I thought of what the Throne said, and I wanted to vomit. “He would be like a wraith?”
Gideon nodded, and if I hadn’t been sitting, I probably would’ve fallen. Wraiths were humans who’d been stripped of their souls after death. Some demons were capable of doing it. Sometimes it happened when a ghost lingered too long and refused to move on. There was no time limit on what too long was. It was different for every ghost. It was something that could just happen. Either way, wraiths were incredibly dangerous, vindictive and spiteful. They were hatred and bitterness personified. Pure malevolence.
“But that can’t be the only thing that happens to a Fallen,” I argued. “The Throne said that they hoped Zayne would be unscathed during the Fall. They hoped he would be useful in the fight against Gabriel even after he chose to Fall. The lack of Glory or soul or whatever must not be the only thing that guides a Fallen’s behavior.” All of them were staring at me. “I really hope you guys believe me.”
“What you’re saying has to be true. It’s the only way you’d know where we originated from.” Gideon twisted to Nicolai. “It’s the only way.”
Nicolai nodded slowly and then sat back, dragging a hand over his head and clasping the back of his neck. “He’s really back.”
“Yes. He really is.” My brows pinched. “Did you two know that Wardens were originally fallen angels?”
“I learned when I took over this role. The Alphas told me,” answered Nicolai, speaking of the class of angels who communicated with the Wardens.
“What?” Danika turned to Nicolai. “You knew?” She looked like she was a second away from hitting him. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“There are a lot of things that I haven’t told you.” The look on Danika’s face drove him to lean back. “That I can’t tell you.”
She folded her arms over her chest. “Really?”
“Why aren’t you mad at him?” Nicolai pointed at Gideon.
“Because he’s not sleeping in the same bed as me,” she shot back.
Yikes-a-doodle.
Time to change the subject to a less awkward conversation.
“How did you know?” I asked Gideon. “I’m assuming this is something that clan leaders sort of take to their graves.”
“It is, but I...I have access to a lot of old books—letters and journals from, well, a very long time ago. I stumbled across the journals of one of the second-or third-generation Wardens. That’s where I read about it, and I had gone to Abbot about it,” he explained, referencing Zayne’s father. “He confirmed it.”
“So, Zayne is...” Danika pressed her hand to her mouth, and that had to be the exact moment she truly realized that Zayne was alive. “How does he...how does he look?”
“Like Zayne—except for the wings. They’re white and streaked with grace. His eyes are also a deep, deep blue. Like, the color is unreal.” I looked down at my dirtied hands. “He looked good. Perfect actually.” I swallowed hard. “He’s very powerful—more so than even me.”
“Because he’s a fallen angel who still has his grace,” Dez said, and his auburn curls looked like he been shoving his fingers through them the whole time we talked. “He’s basically an angel.”
“Not just any angel.” Gideon was staring at me. “From what I could gather, most of those who Fell were from the second sphere. They were Powers—the first Order of Angels God created. They were like elite warriors, protecting the human and heavenly realms. That’s what we descended from. He’s a Power, and that’s why the grace was visible in his wings. He has as much juice in him as an archangel.”
Great.
Why couldn’t they have originated from, I don’t know, guardian angels, or like the ones who just sang about God or something? But no, it had to be elite warriors.
“A Fallen Power,” Nicolai whispered, now dragging his hand down his face. “Jesus.
He would be virtually unstoppable. The clan is already on high alert with the whole Harbinger-slash-Gabriel mess, but we need to make sure they’re aware of Zayne and that he will be...unpredictable at the moment.”
“I’ll make sure everyone is aware,” Gideon said.
It destroyed me to think of the Wardens having to be warned to stay away from Zayne. That was why I came here, but... “He’s not completely bad yet. There was a part of him that did recognize me. That’s not wishful thinking, because he could’ve done some serious damage to me. He could’ve killed me, but he didn’t. He’s still in there, and the Throne told me what I needed to do to bring him back before it becomes too late. I just...”
“What?” Dez asked.
“I just... I’m not sure how what I’m supposed to do won’t actually kill him.”
“I’m going to need details, Trinity,” Nicolai said.
I rubbed my palms over my knees. “The Throne said that my grace would never harm someone I cared about. That I needed to use it to strike at a heart encased in chaos.”
“The Sword of Michael.” Nicolai’s brows rose. “I’m guessing that means you’re supposed to stab him in the heart with the Sword of Michael.”
“Pretty much.”
“How will that not kill him?” Danika’s eyes went wide.
“That’s what I’m wondering, but the Throne was all like, ‘You got to have faith,’” I told them.
“I can’t imagine the Throne lied to you,” Gideon said.
“Really?” came Dez’s response. “Angels don’t often outright lie, but they sure as Hell leave a whole lot of truth out.”
“Thrones are different, though. They are the speakers of truths and seers of lies,” Gideon argued, and I thought of all those creepy eyes. “If the Throne told her this, then it has to be true.”
“True or not, I have to do it.” My hands stilled. “Zayne’s out there right now, and I have no idea what he’s doing. Hopefully he’s napping or eating unhealthy food. That’s probably not the case, and the Throne...he warned that it could already be too late. That all those things he felt when he Fell, what he’s feeling now, could’ve already...infected him.”
Grace and Glory Page 4