But I did.
I’d miss his ridiculous ass, and it didn’t matter at the moment that Peanut was Michael.
“That may be hard to accept right now, but deep down, you always knew a day would come when you’d have to say goodbye. You wanted him to go into the light, did you not?”
I nodded.
“This really isn’t any different. Peanut did not cease to exist. He will always be there. I will always be here,” he said, and my breath caught. “This will not be the last time you see me. I can promise you that.”
Swallowing thickly, I nodded again. I got what he was saying. Peanut didn’t die. He was Peanut. I understood that. It was just time for me to move on.
“Besides,” he said, his warm hand flattening against my cheek. “You still have a purpose. Both you and Zayne. Sooner than you probably even expect.”
I zeroed in on that, sniffling. “W-what do you mean?”
An eyebrow rose. “My brother was very, very bad during his brief sojourn.”
“Oh,” I whispered, and then stiffened. “Oh, nooo.”
Michael nodded.
“Are we going to have to hunt down and kill an Antichrist baby?”
He stilled. “I do not understand how your brain connects point A to point B.”
“But—”
“No child, not even the one created by Lucifer, is without hope. He is the child of the people. They will decide what becomes of him.”
Hell, that didn’t bode well, then.
“There is always hope,” he repeated.
“Have you met people?” I asked. “People generally suck.”
He smiled. “People are amazing in their ability to change. Some are beyond that, yes, and they will answer for all upon judgment, but most...most can change. Most are already good, but if this child fulfills the destiny of the father, then, well, the great and final war will come.”
“Goodie,” I murmured.
“Either way, that is a while from now. Decades before the child will have to make a choice. Until then, live your life as bravely and tenaciously as you have so far. Live your life with purpose, my daughter.”
35
In a blink of an eye, I was poofed out of the bedroom, but not before my...my father summoned Lucifer to him. Which would’ve been a really nifty ability when Lucifer had gone missing.
But I wasn’t going to be mad about that right now.
Pretty sure my father had his hands full returning Lucifer to his rightful place. I was also sure that was going extraordinarily well considering how the first words out of Lucifer’s mouth had been, “So you’ve come to thank me for saving the Heavens in person. I’m honored.”
Lucifer hadn’t seemed all that surprised to see me alive. He was all like, “What up?” and then refocused on Michael.
And now I was standing in the middle of the...
“What the Hell?” I whispered, turning around slowly.
I hadn’t been sent back to the field, but sent to the...rooftop of the apartment?
My gaze skipped over the softly glowing string lights, the neatly lined beach chairs and bistro tables. Why had he sent me here? Zayne was nowhere near the apartment rooftop. He was at the field that reeked of sulfur and sickly sweet rot.
I threw up my hands as I turned again, toward the access door. I was going to have to call up a car and have them drop me off...in the middle of nowhere.
Or I could call Zayne. Duh. I reached for my phone and then realized that I hadn’t seen my phone since I’d been snatched.
“Dammit.” I stomped past a table, barely resisting the urge to pick it up and throw it across the rooftop.
I was superthankful and grateful for everything my father had done, even if some of it was hard to wrap my head around and a wee bit creepy, but seriously? He poofed me to the roof instead of where Zayne was?
I had two options. Either walk my ass back to that field or wait for Zayne in the apartment. Okay. There really weren’t two options. Wasn’t like I could seriously walk my way back to that field, and Zayne would have to come home eventually. I was just going to go out of my mind waiting for him.
Feeling like I was already going out of my mind with all that was swirling around inside it, I stalked across the rooftop. There was a lot I was going to need to work through, but right now, all I could think about was Zayne. I knew exactly what he had to be going through, because I’d gone through it, and I didn’t want him to experience that kind of agony any longer than he needed to. And at least he hadn’t vanished in front of me. He had to be in a panic and—
“Trinity?”
I tripped over my feet as my breath caught in my throat. Catching myself, I whipped around.
Across the rooftop, Zayne stood on one of the wide pillars, the wind catching and lifting his hair and the feathers of those glorious wings, revealing the streaks of pulsing, shimmering grace. In that moment, I was struck by how much he reminded me of the battle angels that adorned the ceiling of the Great Hall back in the Potomac Highlands. He almost didn’t seem real.
“Trinity,” he repeated, his voice hoarse but still one of the most beautiful sounds I’d ever heard.
I stumbled forward, my heart thundering. “It’s me.”
Zayne was so fast I didn’t even see him move from the ledge. He was there and then in front of me, and barely a heartbeat later, his arms swept around me. He hauled me to his chest, burying his hand and face in my hair as his wings folded around me.
“It’s really you. You’re really here.” A shudder racked him as I inhaled the wintermint scent of his. “This is real. Not some kind of dream. I’m holding you for real. You’re alive.”
“I am.”
Zayne touched the sides of my face reverently and then slid his fingers down the side of my neck. They stopped at where my pulse beat wildly and then he searched lower, pressing his palm to the center of my chest, over my heart.
Another shudder took him, and he dropped to his knees before me. My heart twisted. The beautiful wings splayed across the tile floor as he grasped my waist and stared up at me.
“You are all I ever wanted, even before I knew what I wanted. It was you. It was always you,” he whispered, voice raw. “And I lost you.”
“But you didn’t.” I dropped to my knees in front of him, cupping his cheeks. His vibrant blue eyes glimmered as they met mine, and my entire chest squeezed when I saw the dampness in them—the panic and grief, the spark of hope, and hardest of all, the fear. I recognized all of that, and I wanted nothing more than to take it all away from him. “This isn’t a dream. It’s definitely as crazy as one, but it’s real. I’m okay. I’m alive. Like really alive apparently, and I love you. I love you so much. I don’t say that enough. I know I don’t, because I’m weird and awkward, but I love you—”
Zayne’s mouth closed over mine in a kiss that washed away all the fear and panic of when I believed I was dying. It swept aside confusion and thoughts alike, leaving no room for anything other than how his lips felt against mine, the taste of him and the depth of what he felt for me. All the fear and grief he’d felt fed that kiss, as did all his love, and that love didn’t just overshadow the ugly. It obliterated it, and it amazed me how much a kiss could reveal when it was between two people who loved one another.
And we kissed and kissed, the tears on my cheeks mingling with the ones on his. He ended up sitting back, and somehow I was in his lap, his chest pressed against mine and his wings folded around me. I didn’t think we’d ever stop kissing, because there was a joy in it, a sweet relief that we’d both come too close to never experiencing this again too many times. We kissed for an eternity, and it still wouldn’t be long enough.
“It’s you.” The warmth of his breath touched my lips as he rested his forehead against mine, his chest rising and falling heavily. “No one quite gets as many words out in und
er a few seconds as you do.”
“It’s a talent,” I told him.
His laugh was full of relief. “How is this possible, Trin? You...” His voice roughened. “I was holding you. I could barely feel you breathing, and you couldn’t seem to hear me. Then you vanished.” His hands slid over my cheeks. “Just gone.”
“I’m sorry—”
“God, Trin. Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know, but I also know what you went through, and I wish you hadn’t.” I turned my head, kissing the center of his palm. “I would change that if I could.”
The bridge of his nose brushed mine. “What happened?”
“My father,” I said, touching the curve of his jaw. “It’s, uh, it’s really out there, but you were right. What he did for you? It was the way he could show he cared, and this...why I didn’t die is because of him. The spell the Crone gave me? It did more than bring you to me. It bonded us together. That mark on my chest? It’s a bonding mark. Like the Protector bond but in reverse and stronger. Because of it, the angel blade didn’t kill me. Just wounded me. I won’t age. I won’t die unless something happens to you.” I pressed a finger to the center of his lower lip. “So, you’re kind of stuck with me for, like, eternity? Congrats.”
Zayne pulled back enough that our eyes could meet. “Are you...if you’re—you wouldn’t lie about something like this.”
“I wouldn’t.” I’d never heard Zayne so flustered before.
His eyes were wide. “I... God, Trin. I don’t know what to say other than how in the Hell could you even suggest that I was stuck with you?”
I laughed, and the rigidity in my muscles started to lessen. “Thought my aging wasn’t a big deal? You’d love me, broken hips and all?”
“I would love you broken hips and all,” he said, one hundred percent serious. “I would love you as much as I do now when you were eighty. There was no way I was going to let any of that get in the way of the time I had with you, but there was going to be nothing easy about watching you slowly leave me, day by day, year by year. And when that day came, I would’ve found my way to you. I would’ve followed. Nothing would have stopped me.”
My throat clogged with emotion. “I know.”
His gaze searched mine. “But to not have to worry about that? Dread that day? To know that you will be beside me fifty years from now? A hundred?”
Now was probably not a good time to mention the whole Antichrist thing. Later.
“I almost can’t believe this is real. That we’re this lucky.” His gaze now tracked over my features. “That we have this. A real future where I’m not dreading the day I lose you and you no longer have an obsession with broken hips.”
I laughed again, and more tension left me.
He kissed me, quickly and deeply. “I love that sound.”
“I can tell,” I breathed.
His lips curved into a smile against mine. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Well, I haven’t told you everything.”
“I don’t think anything could shock me more.” He kissed my cheek.
“Peanut was Michael. Or is my father.”
Zayne sat back.
“My father is Peanut,” I repeated. “He’s been Peanut this whole time. A figment of his...younger years, or a manifestation. Something extremely bizarre and confusing.”
“What?”
I nodded. “You heard me right. It was the only way he could be a part of my life,” I told him, exhaling roughly, and then I told him everything my father had told me.
It all sounded just as ridiculous coming out of my mouth.
“Okay. You were right,” Zayne said when I finished. “That is... I don’t even know what to say.”
I snorted.
“But didn’t he often walk...in on me while I was showering?” Zayne asked.
I cringed. “He claims it wasn’t anything creepy and that he didn’t do it half the times he said he did, but yeah, I don’t know.”
“I’m just not going to think about that.”
“Probably for the best.”
He smoothed a hand along my cheek, catching the strands of my hair. “What do you think of all of this?” He pressed a small kiss to the corner my lip. “How do you feel?”
“I... God, I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve even begun to process any of it,” I admitted, toying with the edges of his hair. “Especially how much Michael...my father has done for me. How much I never knew, and here I was, hating on him—hating on him to Peanut. And that makes me feel like a grade-A douche.”
“Don’t feel like a grade A-douche,” he told me, and hearing him say that made me crack a grin. “I think he understands why you felt the way you did. He’s your father. He loves you.”
“He does,” I whispered, blowing out a deep breath as I lifted my gaze to Zayne. There was a lot going on in my head, but I would have... I would have forever to process through it all. “We defeated Gabriel.”
“We did.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “We saved the Heavens.”
“And God saved mankind.”
“I think we also get some credit for that.” His lips brushed over my brow. “Lucifer disappeared again.”
“That was Michael,” I said, wondering if I would ever stop feeling weird calling him my dad or my father. “He’s being escorted back to Hell. By the way, how did you know I was here?”
“After Lucifer vanished, Grim showed up.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “Told me I would find what I was looking for if I returned home. I knew he had to be talking about you even if I was too afraid to hope.”
I rested my forehead to his. “I heard you demanded that Lucifer bring me back and then called for Grim. I hate that you had to go through that.”
“What you went through when I died was far worse. Yeah, those minutes felt like an eternity for me, but you had days.” He curled his hand around the back of my neck. “But we don’t have to worry about that happening again. We’re together now.”
“Forever.”
“Forever,” he repeated, kissing me softly.
I smiled. “We need to let the others know I’m okay.”
“We will.” His hand slid down my spine as his wings opened. “But not right now. I have different priorities that involve you and me, and I do not care how selfish it makes me.”
My breath caught as his hand slipped over my hip. “I think I like it when you’re selfish.”
Zayne stood with me in his arms. “You’re going to love it by the time I’m through with you.”
And he wasn’t wrong.
At all.
In our bedroom, under the glow of the Constellation of Zayne, we didn’t just make love to one another. We showed each other as we undressed. It was in every brush of our skin and every teasing, lingering touch. Love shone with each kiss and soft sigh, and it was in full display as our bodies joined together, unable to miss as we moved together, fueled by the knowledge that we had a lifetime—several of them—of this, of love and acceptance, respect and passion. And still, somehow, even that didn’t feel like enough time.
It was afterward, while I was sprawled across his chest and one wing was draped over my back, that Zayne asked, “Do you know what will happen with your vision?”
“I don’t know. I asked, but he didn’t know, either. There’s a possibility the death of the cells could’ve stopped or it will continue. It’s a wait and see game.”
“Like before.”
“Yep.”
He continued tracing idle circles along my upper arm. “Either way, you got this.”
I grinned. “We got this.”
“We do.” He stretched his neck and kissed the top of my head. Several moments of silence passed. “Did I ever tell you what Heaven smelled like to me?”
I lift
ed my head, searching to find his features in the dim light. “No, you didn’t.”
“Jasmine,” he said. “Heaven smelled like jasmine.”
It took me a moment—okay, it probably took longer than it should for me to get that, but then I did. “My body wash is jasmine.”
“I know,” he confirmed. “Heaven smelled like you.”
My heart skipped and danced a little jig. “I love you.”
We kissed and then we spent the rest of those softly lit hours showing each other once again just how much we loved one another.
* * *
“Never did I think I’d be at a cookout with demons,” Jada said as she dropped onto the picnic table beside me the next evening. She shook her head. “Hell, I never thought I’d see Wardens and demons hanging out.”
We were gathered at Roth and Layla’s place, in their backyard by an extravagant pool fitting of a...demonic prince. The thing had a rock waterfall! “And don’t forget fallen angel.” I knocked my shoulder against hers as my gaze flicked to Zayne. He stood on the patio near the pool, talking with Ty and Roth.
I was shocked to have seen Ty show up and even more surprised when he shook Roth’s and then Cayman’s hand upon meeting them. And I might’ve stopped breathing a little when Nicolai arrived with Danika and Dez, who’d brought his wife. The fact that the head of the DC clan would come and bring two females with them was astonishing. Yeah, the two male Wardens didn’t indiscriminately hate demons, but that also didn’t mean they hung out with them.
And they were doing that now, standing with the others, actually talking and laughing. Jasmine and Danika were sitting on the ledge of the pool, their legs dangling in the water as Cayman enjoyed a volleyball game with Stacey.
Maybe the world did end.
But there was a cause for celebration. Gideon had succeeded in tracking down enough gemstones to disrupt the ley lines. They’d be in our possession by the end of the week.
“It’s a new start, it feels like,” Jada said. “A new era.”
“It really is.” I glanced over at Jada. She’d taken everything I had to share with her rather well. Even the Peanut being my dad part. I think she processed all of that better than me, but Jada had always been incredibly pragmatic. “When do you think Ty will be officially assigned to the DC clan? Like are they going to wait till the next Accolade?”
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