“How can you say that?” She turned to me. “So my happiness is more important than anybody else’s?”
“It is to me.”
“I can’t walk away. This isn’t about me. It’s about taking care of those in need.”
“And Quella’s in need?”
“Yes!” Caity turned away from me, pulling her knees against her naked chest. “Emotionally, she’s very unstable and I—I don’t feel like I can walk away and pretend this isn’t happening.”
I couldn’t help my frown. “You’re not a psychologist. Shouldn’t you be referring her to someone who’s a professional in this field?”
“No, it has to be me! I see things others can’t. I’ve been chosen for this and I can’t back out.”
My forehead wrinkled with a frown. “Caity, you’re not actually making sense. What is happening that you can’t back out of? Who chose you?”
She sighed and buried her face into her knees. “I mean like cosmically,” she mumbled.
My head jerked back in surprise. Since when had she been into any kind of higher power? It felt so weird to be sitting next to this girl, who I thought I knew so well, and realize that maybe I didn’t know her at all.
My frown was so deep it was actually starting to hurt, but what bothered me more was Caity’s palpable tension.
Her arms were wrapped so tightly around her legs, I could see her spine protruding out of her back. Hating this, but not wanting to make it worse, I lowered my voice to a gentle whisper. “I know this gift is a huge responsibility and I get that you want to be there for Quella. I think it’s admirable and really nice.” I licked my bottom lip. “But if your job is to think about her and what she needs to get better, then I want my job to be thinking about you and what you need to be happy.”
Slowly her head turned, her large blue eyes looking at me sideways.
“What do you need, babe?”
She looked past me, tears lining her lashes. “To forget the world exists. To forget all the badness and pretend like I’m normal and I don’t see anything. To escape this weight of responsibility and be with you, somewhere where no one can find us or ask anything of us.”
Her sad voice pinched my heart.
The first tear dribbled down her nose, trickling to the edge of her mouth. I leaned forward and kissed it away.
“I’d take you away in a heartbeat if you needed me to. Fly your butt all the way to Bora Bora if you wanted.”
Her glum smile turned into a soft giggle.
“You can count on me, okay? I’ll do whatever it takes to ease this burden for you, babe.”
“I know.” Her head popped up. “And that’s why I love you so much.” Her hand was soft on my face as she leaned over to kiss me. “I wish I could tell you everything.”
“A promise is a promise.” I shrugged. “Just...be careful.”
“I will.” She rubbed her thumb over my cheek and kissed me again. “I better go. She needs to talk.”
“Okay.” I slid my arm down Caity’s side, hating that she had to leave.
She stood and walked to the edge of the bed, stepping off and collecting her clothes. I lay back against the pillows and watched her get dressed, the mood still bleak and somber.
She slipped on her shirt and looked at me, an apology on her lips.
I raised my hand to stop her. “It’s okay. I love you.”
Her smile was sweet. “World’s best boyfriend, I swear.”
“I’ll take it.” I winked, enjoying her giggle.
As soon as she slipped out the door my smile fled. The room was dark and cold without her; my worry over her need to help others was crushing. I pinched the bridge of my nose and muttered a curse, wondering what I could do to make it better, because if there was one thing I could not stand...it was seeing my girl cry.
21
Caitlyn
Quella was sound asleep when I slipped in the door. I gazed down at her, wondering what she’d think if she knew the lies I was making up about her. Kaplan calling me at Eric’s was so unexpected. How dare she disturb what could have been a perfect night?
I should have listened to Eric and just ignored her damn call, but no, I had to answer it and get my ear chewed out. She ordered me back to my dorm...and stupid me, because I sucked at standing up to her, agreed. I left my super-hot, naked boyfriend in order to wake up in the same room as Quella, on the off-chance that she might say something meaningful to me.
It was ridiculous. I was tempted to call Kaplan back right then and tell her to shove it up her ass. I was going back to spend the night with my boyfriend, so that when I woke up in the morning I could be surrounded with more exciting wedding talk. Instead, I’d be waking up in Quella Town, listening to the world’s most self-absorbed eighteen-year-old talk about how she spent the previous day getting a mani-pedi and eating a quail egg salad for lunch.
I threw myself back on the bed, not even bothering to undress. I’d already done that tonight and if I’d had my way, I would have stayed naked next to the man I loved; the most patient guy ever to buy into my sack of lies. When I told him the truth, it was going to hurt him. He’d had so many people lie to him in the past, so he was super-sensitive on the whole be honest with me thing. I got that. I respected it. That was why I promised him I always tell the truth.
But I broke that promise.
I’d dug myself into a hole of deception that could bury me alive. Once he got over his anger, he’d understand about the girls, but that still wouldn’t change the fact that I’d broken his trust. I should have let him in from the start, but he would have wanted me off the case. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about those girls. He’d want them found just as badly as I did, but he would’ve fought for a way to ensure my safety throughout the case.
My well-being was paramount to him and although he loved the fact I put others first, it also drove him crazy. My compassion was one of the things he fell in love with, but it seemed to keep putting me in harm’s way, and Eric didn’t cope with that.
I covered my face with my hands, more tears threatening to break free.
What if he couldn’t get over my lies? What if he didn’t forgive me?
What if Kaplan found out I’d told him?
She was working way outside the boundaries of the law on this one, driven by something I hadn’t been able to figure out yet. I could only imagine how livid she’d be, and I had a sinking feeling that if I told Eric, he wouldn’t be able to just sit by with his lips sealed while Kaplan sent me into the house of a human trafficker. He’d insist on going with me, and that could blow the whole operation.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I gazed up at the ceiling and let the scenarios run through me, each one more brutal than the last: Eric storming away from me in outrage that I’d made him buy into one lie after another, Kaplan screaming at me for breaking the rules.
By the time my imagination was done, I was in tears again, my soul splintering like a smashed pane of glass.
I had to tell him.
I could risk Kaplan’s wrath, but I couldn’t risk hurting Eric and potentially losing him.
Yeah. I nodded. Kaplan could shove it. My boyfriend was more important than her reputation. Besides, I’d make Eric see reason. Surely, he’d let me rescue these girls, and so what if he came with me? He could play undercover. He’d done it once before. Sure, it didn’t go to plan, but he’d stopped Cameron from mauling me and Kaplan had still nabbed her bad guys.
My chin jutted forward, determination rippling through me. It was settled. I was telling him and everything would work out fine. And then when it was over and those girls were safely back home, Eric and I could get engaged and be as happy as Scott and Piper!
Sleep was a joke and remained a joke for the rest of the week.
I barely got any, my nerves wound so tight I thought they might snap. I’d made my big decision to tell Eric the truth; now I just had to find the right time and place.
The noisy diner we were sitting i
n was definitely not it.
Quella played with the salt shaker, pouring little piles of salt onto the table and drawing patterns in it while we waited for our dinner orders to arrive. I glanced across at Eric and forced a smile, trying to pretend the awkward double date with Carlos wasn’t actually happening.
Carlos had called that morning inviting Quella out for a midweek date, and for some reason she couldn’t say no. She didn’t really want to go and had begged me to join her. I wasn’t willing to give up my evening with Eric, so I begged him to join me.
And there we were.
I tapped my finger on the table, my brain too foggy to even think of small talk. It was pretty damn painful. Eventually Quella sat back.
“The food is taking forever. Carlos, go and find out what’s wrong. I’m going to the bathroom.”
She nudged Carlos out of the way and he reluctantly walked up to the main counter.
As soon as Quella was out of earshot, Eric turned to me.
“Okay, so I’ve had an idea,” he spoke quickly. “I know you feel a huge responsibility to basically everyone, but it’s time you broke a few rules.”
My eyes narrowed.
“Hear me out. Quella has Carlos to look out for her now and you look exhausted. How about a trip to San Diego?”
I sat forward.
“It’d only be for the weekend. We’ll leave after class on Friday and then be back on Sunday afternoon. Gramps is so easy to stay with and would love the company.”
My nose wrinkled before I could stop it. “He wouldn’t mind?”
“I called yesterday and asked him. Whether you say yes or no, I’m going down there. He sounded kind of lonely.”
I blinked slowly, trying to ignore the searing pain at the idea of Eric being out of town for the weekend while I was stuck with Quella.
Kaplan wanted me to spend every waking minute with her, but what was one weekend? If Eric and I could sneak off to San Diego, it’d give me a chance to tell him somewhere private. Kaplan could live without me for two days.
But what about the girls? What if something important happened while I was gone?
What about my sanity? What about my relationship with Eric?
I nibbled my lip, rushing to think it through so I could respond.
“Okay, yes.” I said the words before I changed my mind.
“Yes?”
“Yeah.” I nodded with a grin. “Yeah, it’ll be great.”
I still felt nervous. Kaplan was going to kill me for doing this, but she’d just have to understand. I needed a weekend off. I didn’t think that was too much to ask.
I called Kaplan that night, tapping my finger against the phone as I waited for her to answer.
“Kaplan,” she snapped.
“Yeah, just checking in.”
“Got anything for me?”
“Nothing new from today. Carlos seems to be keeping her on track, which is great for her, but bad for me. She doesn’t talk as much when he’s around all the time and she really needs to get a little plastered to loosen that tongue of hers.”
“Okay, well make that happen. Take her out this weekend. Get her piss-drunk and talking.”
“Actually, this weekend, I was wondering—”
“I’m not interested in your ideas. I just want you to do your job.”
“I was kind of hoping—”
“Get me something new by Sunday afternoon. I don’t care what you have to do.”
“I’m thinking—”
“Don’t think, just do it.”
She hung up before she could interrupt me again.
I glared at my phone, wanting to scream at it, throw it to the ground, then grind my heel into that damn thing. Nobody could piss me off like that woman could.
Crossing my arms with a huff, I looked at the night sky, hating that I’d have to sacrifice my weekend away just to please that woman.
But I wouldn’t please her. I’d do exactly what she’d ask me to and it still wouldn’t be enough.
“Screw you,” I muttered at the phone.
Quella could get drunk next weekend. Tomorrow night, I was going away with my boyfriend!
22
Eric
Caity hadn’t stopped smiling since we got into the car. It was like something had been set free inside her and the further we drove from campus, the more relaxed she became. Breathing in through her nose, she let out a happy sigh and leaned her head back against the headrest. Her arm was out the open car window, her fingers fluttering through the breeze as we drove down to San Diego. The sun was setting, bathing her in amber light. She looked like an angel.
To say it was a relief to have my girlfriend back was an understatement. I hadn’t realized how badly she needed the break. I was hoping by the end of the weekend I could convince Caity that she really didn’t have to shoulder the burden of Quella anymore. It was getting too much and she needed to back off, for her own sake.
We were about twenty minutes out from Gramps’s house. It always felt like home when I walked in the door, and I was looking forward to that feeling again. That man had saved my life. I didn’t know what I’d do without him and every time I came to visit, I always left feeling re-energized.
I reached over and squeezed Caity’s knee. Her smile was golden as she turned to look at me.
“Nearly there.”
“I know.” She dropped her feet off the dashboard and sat up. “You going surfing tonight?” She ran her fingers up my arm. “Or are you going to keep me company instead?”
She wiggled her eyebrows, making me chuckle. It’d be impossible to resist her. I’d just have to go surfing in the morning.
Caity’s phone dinged. She reached for her bag, still grinning until she pulled it out and read the screen. Her expression changed instantly, her lips twitching before pressing into a thin line.
“Everything okay?” I stole a glance at her.
Her fingers hovered over the screen before she let out a sigh and sent a quick text. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
It didn’t sound fine.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t see who she was replying to, or what she had written, but I could tell it was a very short text. When she was done, she pressed the top button on her phone and held it down, actually turning the phone off.
Throwing it into her bag, she crossed her arms and slumped back against the seat.
“Quella?” I asked.
“Not this weekend. I just can’t do it.” She kept her eyes out the window, not looking at me.
“Then turning off your phone was probably the best idea.”
She glanced back at me, her lips tipping into a grin. “It was, wasn’t it?” With a small giggle, she shuffled closer, sliding her arm behind my neck and kissing my cheek. “Thank you for this,” she whispered in my ear before resting her head against my shoulder.
I kept my eyes on the road, glad she couldn’t see my frown. I should have been happy that I was taking her away and making her feel better, but the grip she had on my shoulder told me it wasn’t over.
Clenching the wheel, I decided that all I could do was give her the best weekend I could, remind her what it was like to not be burdened by someone else’s problems and then when we drove back on Sunday, I could hopefully convince her to let this Quella thing go and move in with me.
Gramps appeared in the doorway as I turned off the engine and flicked off the lights. His broad grin was highlighted by the porch light, his blue eyes wrinkling at the corners as he spread his arms wide and pulled Caity into a hug.
He lifted her off the ground with ease before dropping her back down and wrapping me in a hug, pounding my back twice like he always did. For a guy in his seventies, he was still pretty damn strong and capable. I couldn’t imagine anything stopping him. He was just as tall as I was, with a broad chest and hardy muscles from years in the military. He’d spent the last fifteen of his career training new Marines at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego, be
fore he retired to come save my ass. He could be a hard man, but I didn’t know anyone who didn’t respect him.
“Welcome home.” He squeezed my shoulders before taking Caity’s hand. “Come on in, I’ve got dinner all ready.”
Caity looked at me with an adorable grin before following him.
In spite of his tough exterior, when it came to the ladies, Gramps was all sweetness and charm. I shook my head with a grin, wondering how it was possible that he’d never re-married after Grandma died. I’d never met her, she’d passed away before I was born, but pictures still hung all over the house. He must have loved her more than anything.
I watched Caity skip up the stairs ahead of me, her long curls bouncing on her back, and I understood that feeling. I wasn’t sure I could ever move on from a girl like Caity, and I hoped I never had to.
We bustled into the small living area and I dumped our bags on the wooden floor. Like it always did, the large photo my father had taken slapped me in the face. I turned my back on it and strained to hear the sound I lived for. A smile lit my lips as the faint rolling and crashing of waves wafted in the front door.
Gramps had owned the small house near Blacks Beach for over fifty years. Houses had been torn down around him, replaced with big mansions, but he’d stood strong, maintained his little place and kept a hold of the sweetest spot in San Diego.
I, for one, was very grateful.
Just across the road and down the little slope was one of the best surf beaches in the area.
Jogging back out to the car, I grabbed the boards off the roof and tucked them under my arm, checking the car was locked. Climbing up the three short steps, I leaned them against the wall of the closed porch area before heading inside. Caity was already seated at the table and grabbing a bread roll out of the basket.
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