Chapter 19
When Michelle had mentioned it was her intention to sleep, Loviel did not know she intended to hibernate. Not that he would stop her from doing so; she needed the rest. Her treatment had been torture. She deserved anything she wanted. If that was sleep, Loviel would happily let her.
The sun was already high in the sky. Soon it would descend below the horizon.
Loviel sat outside on a bench that overlooked Mrs. Nielson’s garden. Marie had a green thumb; it was a gift. For what felt like hours, Loviel watched the bees fly from flower to flower. Some even came to investigate the angel. He was fine with their curiosity; they meant no harm. They were sweet creatures who nourished the earth around them.
Soon, Ravin would find his way home. They needed to talk. They had not done so after the demon had returned from speaking with the Archdemon, Sin. Instead, he had promptly fallen asleep. Then in the morning, Ravin left without so much as a word. It concerned Loviel. Had the discussion with Sin proved disheartening? He certainly hoped not.
Though he was trying to stay optimistic about the Exalt path, there was no guarantee it would work out. As saddening as it was, Loviel prayed their other option held a better outlook. However, Ravin’s actions had him wary.
They all deserved for things to go their way. The knee-jerk reaction for both of them had been excitement that Michelle would be like them. That would only make their bonds tighter. How exciting would it have been for Michelle to have wings and a heavenly glow? The same thoughts surely had gone through Ravin’s mind. They would get to share a bond and be together for all eternity, if that was what they desired.
Would that be allowed to happen if she became an Exalt?
He heaved a gentle sigh as a feeling of exhaustion rolled over him like a wave. It was not a new feeling, but it was increasingly getting stronger. At one point, he was able to easily brush it off, but after the treatment, that seemed impossible. Loviel closed his eyes, and opened them as the sun was beginning to set. Where had the time gone?
In a blink, Ravin appeared beside Loviel. “You feeling alright?” He arched an eyebrow as he looked over at the angel. “You look like hell warmed over.” His day had not been much better. He was not looking forward to the discussion that they would have to have later. He’d rather just spend time sitting beside Loviel and enjoying the day.
Aches nipped at Loviel’s joints. The exhaustion was weighing heavy on his shoulder. The pains felt as if they were on his own, though he knew they were caused by his link with Michelle.
“I’m sore,” he reported. “Worse, I can barely keep my eyes open.” As if to punctuate his statement, a yawn escaped him and his wings fluffed. Loviel wiped involuntary moisture from his eyes. His movement felt sluggish.
“How about you?” Loviel inquired as he watched the sun reach the horizon line.
Ravin shrugged. “I’m alright.” It was complicated. He was on edge after his encounter with Demias, but conversely, he felt relieved because Michelle could be saved. The good outweighed the bad. Or, it should have. There was too much going on in his brain. “I’m really starting to pray that she decides that angel is the best option,” he admitted to his friend.
“It did not go well with Sin, did it?” Loviel felt a stab of worry. What if neither option was a suitable one? What if they were back to square one? “May I ask what happened?”
“It was rough.” Ravin shook his head. “She said it would be doable: easy, and fast even, but that’s obviously not the bad news. I just don't know if it fits with her nature. There are a lot of risks associated with the path of a Fellion.”
Hope filled Loviel’s chest. He understood the dilemma, but the former outweighed the latter in his opinion. There was a solution. If the angels rejected Michelle, there was still an answer. She could still be saved. His wings flapped with excitement.
“Ravin, this is wonderful news.” He placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “She doesn’t need to be in pain anymore. You two will have a future.” His honey eyes were bubbling. He was elated that they had found a way, and it was more than plausible, it was waiting for them to say the word ‘go’. As much as he had wanted to share the angelic experience, there was still a caution light. Unless Cleoph could convince Bastion, there was no guarantee Exalt was even a choice.
This was what they had been searching for, fighting for, and now that they had it, Ravin was willing to give up? Loviel would not accept this. He stood up and stretched out his wings. As he did, the pain rippled into his shoulder and a few feathers molted off.
Loviel held out his hand to Ravin. “What are we waiting for?”
“What the Hell?” Ravin picked up one of the feathers from the ground. “What is going on?” He stared at the lost plumes. Was that a normal thing for angels? He didn’t know much about them, but it seemed as though it would be a bad thing. On top of it, Loviel looked like he was ready to keel over.
He reached over and touched the angel’s cheek. “You’re not usually this tired. Did you sleep at all? You look more like you’ve been punched in the face multiple times.” There were massive bags under his eyes that hadn’t been there in the past.
“I don’t sleep.” Loviel quirked one of his brows. Meditation often filled the need to recharge. Though, now that he had mentioned it, Loviel had slept, which was strange behavior. Why had he napped? More like… passed out. Maybe he was feeling ill effects from the problems that plagued Michelle.
He shook his head. This wasn’t about him. “I’m fine.”
“Liar,” Ravin shot. “You look like you’re about to fall over. Maybe you should try sleeping.”
A strange feeling of irritability washed over Lovie. He frowned. “If there was anything wrong with me, it would be solved by healing Michelle.” His tone was sharper than he had intended. Maybe Ravin was right. He glanced away, feeling bad about his attitude; the demon was only trying to help. His wings drooped and below his breath he said a quiet, “Sorry.”
Ravin arched an eyebrow. “Where did that come from?” That had been the last thing he’d expect from the angel. “I accept the apology, though. I know you’re under a lot of pressure.”
Loviel dragged his hand through his sandy curls. “It takes a good deal of energy to keep her body stable. It should be a bit easier now with the treatment, but…” he trailed off. There were ill effects due to the fact she had died last autumn. It had been for less than a few seconds, but the damage had been done.
Keeping her healed was an uphill climb. Giving his all was only slowing the damage. After he had used the energy to go to Heaven, he had been feeling a bit like lead. In the next few days, he hoped to be better. But what if the damages of expending more than he had were catching up?
Maybe he did need to be more alarmed by his current state.
“There is no perfect answer between the two,” Loviel sighed and shook his head.
“When she wakes up, we will let her choose what she wants.” Ravin gave a curt nod. “It’s the best way to figure out what to do. We can’t make the choice for her. It’s her life. We can’t force her one way or another.” Though, he would try to push it in his favor if he could. He couldn’t let her struggle with her good nature.
Loviel shook his head. “Then you should know as well as she, there is a possibility you could lose her if she chooses Angel, in the same way I could lose her if she went Demon.”
“She could lose herself if she became a Demon,” Ravin argued. “We present all the facts, and then we let her make up her own mind. It’s that simple.” Loviel’s determination to make Michelle a demon was starting to grate on his nerves. Yes, he wanted her pain to end. Being a demon would bring an end to her suffering. At least, her physical suffering. But he didn’t know how to help ease her through the transition into a demon. What if something horrible happened?
“Let’s just agree to disagree.” Ravin ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve had a rough day. I got attacked by a psycho earlier and he said weird things,
and I’m just not in the mood to argue right now.”
“You got attacked?” Loviel’s attention came sharply into focus, he was suddenly much more alert. “What happened?”
“The Leader of Heaven’s Sword showed up outside of the bar, and confronted me about nonsense I couldn’t understand. He definitely had a sword, and looked like he wanted nothing more than to give me a long, drawn-out death,” Ravin explained. “He probably would have if Sin and Zier hadn’t showed up.”
Loviel’s hands clenched into tight fists. “Demias attacked you?” Part of him feared that it was his fault. What Cleoph had said to the Leader of Heaven’s Sword had been harsh. It had been because of Ravin.
“Yeah.” Ravin shook his head. “He said something about me being part of an infestation, and that ‘she’ couldn’t protect me anymore. I think he had me confused with someone else.”
Loviel knew that Demias didn’t just ‘mess up’. The angel was a tactical genius and had tabs on near every force of ‘evil’. Of course, many of the cases were unfounded in the eyes of a Balance Angel. Demias knew very well who Ravin was and he had been vocal about it.
The real question was whether or not to tell Ravin that. Due to the actions in the prior autumn, Ravin was getting quite a name for himself and the reviews were mixed. The Balance Angels were on his side, while the others weren’t so sure. Loviel couldn’t understand that sort of ambivalence. Despite being a demon, Ravin was good. He was fighting Loviel on turning his own girlfriend into a demon.
How that was a trait of an evil individual, Loviel would never know. The black and white thinkers would condemn Ravin for what he was, not who he was. Unfortunately, Demias was the king of that sort of behavior.
“Just be careful,” Loviel warned.
“I’ll try. I mean, he sought me out.” Ravin shrugged. “But I don’t think I’ll be spending a lot of time out in the open on my own anymore. At least, not for a while.” He scratched the stubble on his chin. “There was something seriously off about that guy,” he continued. “He was creepy as hell. I can’t believe that guy is an angel. He definitely did not come across as angelic. What is his problem?”
“He is the product of a Great War that scarred many of my kind,” Loviel said quietly; he was reminded of his own brother. “Many who lived through it became cold and distant. It is an unfortunate circumstance, but as you know, personalities range greatly. As there can be a kind demon, there can be an angel with no conscience.”
Ravin shuddered. “That’s terrifying.” He rubbed the goosebumps on his arms. “That does explain the dead look in his eyes. You’d think they’d be a little more lenient, considering the fact that I helped save them from certain doom.”
He shook his head and stood up. Ravin stretched his arms, then let out a sigh. “I think I feel Michelle moving around.”
“Let us go check on her.” Loviel gave a half-smile. “Hopefully, she is doing better.”
Ravin offered his hand to help Loviel onto his feet. “Hopefully.” He did his best to try to push the negative emotions from the forefront of his mind. There were more important things for him to focus on. “Maybe we could try to talk to her now.”
He pulled the angel up to his feet and strode inside the house with him in tow. Sure enough, they found Michelle. She had a pot on the stove and was watching the water boil. There was a carton of eggs beside her, untouched. Her eyes were glazed over, but if it was because she was groggy, just woken up, exhaustion, or pain, Ravin wasn’t sure.
“Hey, Michelle…”
When she looked up at him, the fog rolled away and the light returned.
Joy pierced through his heart. In that moment, he knew that he would do anything for her. She was the best thing in his life, and he would trade her for nothing. To him, she was everything right in the world.
Had anyone told him that he would ever think such cheesy things about anyone, let alone a human, he would have laughed in their faces. It would’ve been such a foreign concept. He didn’t think sappy things like that about anyone, why would he? It was the kind of nonsense that he made fun of. That wasn’t his cup of tea.
Yet, when he looked into her eyes, all those cynical thoughts fled. She was different.
Paul’s voice echoed in his mind. “Love at first sight is an amazing thing. It’s less mental, and more magical. The universe has a way of finding the right hearts that match… The hearts call to one another, and it’s up to the owners to respond to that call.”
His mouth felt dry, and his hands clammy. All he wanted in the world was to make her happy. To see her smile was the most important thing. Even if he was out of the picture because she was an angel… it meant she would be alive. It gave her a chance to find her own path in life, something that she’d never been able to do before. Now she could be anything she wanted.
That was all that he wanted. His heart was calling to her… and he didn’t know how to handle it. Maybe Paul had been completely right.
He was in love with her… and he couldn’t have been happier.
“I had a craving for hard boiled eggs,” Michelle stated, her voice deadpan. Then without looking at the water, she one by one dropped the eggs in, one by one. Then, a smile broke through and she started to laugh.
Ravin’s lips parted into a smile. “What is it?” he asked as he paced over beside her and glanced inside the water, searching for answers.
“It’s delicious, that’s what it is.” She winked, feeling a bit like her old self again. Now that that the sleep was wearing off and the treatment was settling in, Michelle was feeling better than ever. She reached up and squished Ravin’s cheeks together. “Were you two making out without me? You look guilty of something.”
It was the biggest relief to see her acting as herself again. “You are adorable.” He pulled her into a gentle hug. This was the Michelle that he was fighting to preserve. “You look like you’re feeling a lot better.”
Michelle hugged him as tightly as she dared, which was still an improvement over a few days prior. “I felt good enough to make eggs, even.” She looked up at him and winked. “Not going to lie though, you both look awful. Like, got-into-the-bee’s-nest awful.”
“I’m really glad…” Ravin let out a soft breath. “But we’ve been working really hard these past few days. That’s actually why we were looking for you, Michelle. We need to talk.”
Chapter 20
Michelle was led into the living room by her boyfriend and her angelic partner. They sat her down on the couch and each took a seat next to her. The more she thought about it, the more this felt like an intervention.
There was a tension that filled the room: it was thick and sticky like molasses. Her boys had been brooding. Turns out they were really good at that. Better than she would have thought. After a few minutes of silence, Michelle rolled her eyes.
“If someone doesn't speak soon, I’m going back to my eggs.” She crossed her arms. “Spit it out already. If you want to talk, talk.”
Ravin let out a quiet sigh. “Alright, alright.” He looked down at her with a soft look in his eye. “Loviel and I have been working on finding a way to help you. I know you said not to, but we couldn’t help it. Don’t be mad. It hasn’t cut into our time spent with you.”
A small flicker of annoyance raced through Michelle. Men. You couldn’t tell them your problems without them trying to fix everything. It was just their nature, she supposed. Her arms loosened around her chest, and one hand freed itself to run through her hair. Greasy. She’d have to find time to grab a shower after all of this.
“Go on?” She leaned back into the sofa. With the way the room felt, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what they had to say. It was probably bad. Every time a solution was in grasp, it was a dead end. Michelle wouldn’t get her hopes up. Not this time. Not until it was a done deal.
“We found this book.” Ravin gestured at Loviel. “Well, he found it, and it had information about how to make angels and demons,” he explained. “We’
ve both spoken to much more powerful members of our kind, and, well… They can do it. You can become one of our kinds, and it should completely fix the problem.”
Michelle looked between the two men. “Then why does it feel like someone ate your dog?”
“Because neither is a perfect solution,” Loviel explained gently. “Either will give you immortality, but you will lose something in the process.”
Ravin rubbed his hands together. “Well… you’ll end up close to whatever side you chose. That’s the issue when picking between races that are mortal enemies. It’s why neither of us look ready to go throw a party.”
“We wanted you to choose, without any pressure,” Ravin continued. “We won’t pick for you, because it’s your life, your decision.”
For a moment, Michelle looked between the two. Pick one, lose the other. No pressure? Right. They had both come into her life at about the same time and both had become so close, so fast. She could remember having nightmares about Iraldin for months after the event, and Loviel would sit with her and sing the most beautiful songs.
Ravin, on the other hand, had been with her during the worst parts of the prior year. When Lian was gone, he kept her mostly sane. And as the time went on, he had become more than just a great friend. When she looked into his eyes, she felt disgustingly sappy.
“I can’t.” She shook her head. “You know how shitty it is for you to ask me to pick between you two? No matter what I do, someone gets hurt. I don’t like that. You don’t get to do that.”
She stood up and shook her head. “It isn’t fair.”
Where did they get off asking her to make a decision like this? She was only twenty-four years old, almost twenty-five. They had lifetimes of experience behind them, and what did she have? Just two people she cared very much about.
Syndrome of Mortality (Break of Breath Book 2) Page 18