The group gathered together and in a blink were transported into a hospital that Lian knew very well. Despite being fit as a fiddle, she had spent a good part of her youth within the walls. The sights and the smells were all so familiar. They filled her with a comforting dread. It was a strange slurry of emotions she understood well.
They stood at the port hub. Zier must have lit up the wards due to being a Fallen. It was no matter. The hospital was easy enough to maneuver. Lian stepped over to the side and found a directory. She tapped a few buttons on the screen and found Michelle’s room. Below their feet, an aqua color began to glow, then away from that, an arrow started off down the hall.
As she mindlessly followed the directive arrow, Lian’s thoughts slipped away. Life and death had always been a concept on her mind, even when she was a child. Due to her many fears, Lian felt as if she was never truly living, yet she wasn’t the one with an hourglass half-full. No. She had so much time and yet, she had never seen herself getting as far as she had.
Michelle, on the other hand, had always been overfilled with vitality. More than anything, it wasn’t fair that her life was to be cut short. No matter what they did, there was no way to stop the disease’s progression.
It was the greatest curse being a mortal had to offer. You lived so you could die. Humans were one of the few who definitely had death to look forward to. Their lives were brief, just a blink.
Being a human was like drawing the shortest straw in the stack. You didn’t get super speed or strength. You didn’t get powers or eternal life. Humans were blank canvases waiting to get used or torn. It wasn’t fair, but then again, no one said life was.
If it had been, Michelle would be just like everyone else.
Lian stopped as they reached the CP unit. Her feet were frozen in place. “I-I can’t go in there.”
Zier gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to if you are not comfortable with it.” He knelt down beside her. “If you do, I’m right here. Jo, Marius, and Kazun will be with you. You are not alone, nor do you have to be.” He brushed some of the hair from her face.
Tears welled once again. Lian leaned into Zier’s hand. “Going in will make it real.”
With gentle fingers Zier wiped away her tears. “And if you don’t go, you will regret it for the rest of your life.” He couldn’t let this little one suffer, not like this. If he could have fixed everything, he would have. Yet, there was almost nothing that he could do, other than support Lian.
A small sniffle escaped, but Lian nodded. She knew he was right. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw sunlight coming from behind those vivid purple contacts. A longing filled her heart to see what was behind them, but she didn’t ask.
“Thank you.” She hugged him tightly, bracing herself and taking deep breaths for courage. When she was settled and ready, the five of them continued into the unit. It wasn’t hard to find Michelle’s room. Loviel was standing outside, looking distraught and unwell. Feathers were molting from his wings and even from a distance, Lian could see bags under his eyes.
As they approached, Loviel didn’t notice them. Lian touched his shoulder and he jumped in surprise. In a swift motion, he drew his hand through his hair. She could tell he was falling apart at the seams. His normally perky sandy ringlets were loose and unkempt.
“How is she?” Lian whispered, afraid of what he would say.
“Still stable,” Loviel replied, his once honey-smooth voice was now rough and dry. “She hasn’t woken up.”
The angel’s eyes flicked back towards the room. Lian followed his gaze. Inside the room, she could make out the Care Pod. In front of it stood Ravin, his back towards them. Without even seeing his face, Lian could tell how he was feeling. Shoulders slumped and a low hanging tail spoke volumes.
“He hasn’t left her side since we were allowed back here. Not for food or drink,” Loviel explained. “He’s not taking it well.”
Lian nodded in understanding. She knew the helplessness he was feeling. After her mom called her that morning, tears had been flowing nonstop. It had felt like a piece inside of her had broken. Even though she knew Michelle was okay for now, it was the idea of what was to come that was crippling. The time everyone had feared was coming, and it was coming faster than she could ever imagined.
It scared Lian even more than Ira ever had to think that Michelle would be gone.
“Isn’t there anything you guys can do?” Lian looked up at Zier. She knew there wasn’t. If there had been, it would have been done. Michelle would have been better. But she wasn’t. She was so sick and her time was still counting down faster than ever.
The static feeling returned and made goosebumps pop up all over. She shivered and shook her head. More whispers tried to calm a wave of upset. There was a burning in the pit of her back where her dark tattoo rested.
“Well, there is… something,” Loviel sighed. “If we can change her species, then it will change her DNA, which should cure her.”
Lian tilted her head. “I thought the vampire thing was a no-go.” She looked up at Zier for answers. Did he know anything about this? If he had, why hadn’t he said anything? Her heart stopped and the excited energy arced between a few strands of hair.
“Vampire wouldn’t work…” Zier confirmed, “but it’s not the only option. I suspect that Loviel and Ravin have discovered that their kinds would be an option: Angel or Demon. The reason they haven’t acted is because she can’t decide which side to choose. Either choice will make her become closer to one, and cause her to lose the other.”
“Ravin is being stubborn.” Loviel crossed his arms. “He wants her to choose the path of the Exalt, but it’s slower. If he put one ounce of convincing her to be a Fellion, it would be done and she would be saved, but he won't.” A frustrated tone rumbled through the Angel’s ragged voice.
He continued to shake his head. “There is no guarantee that Cleoph will be able to make her an Exalt, while we know Sin can change her into a Fellion. We’re just wasting time she doesn't have.”
Zier put a hand on Loviel’s shoulder. “I understand.” He cast a glance back at Lian. “But you must consider many things in this choice.” Lian was hardly comfortable around demons, even after becoming accustomed to Ravin. Zier didn’t know what kind of damage seeing her sister as a demon could do to the girl’s psyche.
“I am certain she will make up her mind when she awakens again,” he informed them both.
Lian took Kazun’s hand and squeezed it. She had never seen Loviel like this. He was completely falling apart. He was a bowstring, drawn taut, and ready to snap. More than anything, she didn’t want to see him reach the breaking point.
Her gaze slowly shifted to the room. If the normally good-willed angel was taut with tension, Lian wondered. How was Ravin handling everything that had happened?
Chapter 24
A million thoughts raced through Ravin’s mind, but none of them stuck for long. They flew past him like debris caught in a tornado, and he was ensnared in the very middle of it. Each whizzed by, nearly striking, but always missing. He felt breathless and numb, but tense and on the very edge. His chest hurt and his eyes burned, but no tears came. He wanted to curl up in a ball, but he also wanted to lash out at everything and anything.
Ravin tugged at his hair to try to get his mind in focus, but it didn’t work. The rushing thoughts wouldn’t stop.
He couldn’t stay in the hospital, not with Loviel still there. So he’d left, because he knew that every moment, there was just another full of side-eyed contempt. This wasn’t his fault. Her being sick wasn’t his doing. He would have given anything to see her restored to health, but Loviel was acting like Ravin had given her the illness. All because he didn’t want her to be a demon.
She couldn’t be like him. Michelle wouldn’t need to cause pain or suffering, as demons like him did. Thousands of years of experience had taught him how to fight the urges. Nonetheless, even if she was Sin’s alignment, it wouldn�
��t make her any less dangerous than his kind.
Michelle would have to drown herself in sin to transition into a full Demon. Though he had a feeling that she would be drawn to sloth, gluttony and the occasional lust, the others could cause more issues. Greed, pride, wrath, and envy were not pretty. They could get her into some serious trouble, or even killed, which would defeat the purpose of even turning her.
What if her pride got her into a tough situation?
What if she was so envious she hurt someone?
What if she was so greedy she stole from someone she shouldn't have?
What if she got too full of wrath and killed someone?
There were too many variables. Fundamentally, Michelle was a good person. To be a demon would force her to go against her nature. It would cause her so much conflict, and so much pain. She would be in a constant struggle against those urges. It wasn’t fair to Ravin. It wasn’t fair to Loviel. And worst of all, it wasn’t fair to Michelle.
She deserved to find her happiness, and the path of being a demon was not the answer.
None of them had considered Ravin’s lack of knowledge about his past. What if there were more people like Ira who were out to get him? Even with Sin’s help, someone could snatch her out from under them. She wouldn’t have that tie to Ravin, because he couldn’t afford to let her be his kind of demon. Changing her would destroy her connection with Loviel, probably. Then she could vanish without a trace, and none of them would ever see her again. That is, if they were lucky.
If they weren’t, then whoever took her could turn her into a monster. They could make her the worst kind of demon. Her memories could be taken and her personality changed.
All of it was just the tip of the iceberg of horribleness that would be the result of her being a Demon.
None of those issues would have to exist if she was an Angel. She could be the best version of herself, and shine brighter than the sun. She could be happy, and fly around the clouds. She would have a beautiful halo above her head, and wings the color of a snowy day, dappled with stunning speckles or something like that. She would be perfect.
He could see it so clearly in his mind. It would be the best fit, yet, Loviel didn’t seem to agree. Why was it so important to Loviel for her to be a demon? What possible benefit could it have? All it could bring was pain and horror.
If there was only one choice, he would have jumped at whatever it was. Angel, demon, vampire, anything—well, maybe not Djinn. In a heartbeat, he would have done anything to ensure that it was what Michelle became. That way, she could become adjusted, and find her footing as something brand new. She could already be healed, and ready to move on with her life.
But they had two, and now they had to make the choice. No, they didn’t. Michelle did. She had to make that impossible decision. Who did she want to cut out of her life?
The one thing he was absolutely certain of was that time was running out. For all they knew, Michelle wouldn’t make it out of the hospital. He didn’t know what he would do if she couldn’t come home. There was a chance she could die in that Care Pod. He’d never get to hear her voice again, or see her smile. He didn’t know how he could feel this strongly after only a year. They hadn’t even been dating for very long, and he’d done his best to mess that up.
There was another thing he knew for sure. He wasn’t sure how he was going to go on if she wasn’t there.
Before he knew what he was doing, he teleported himself outside of Sinsation. His fingers were clenched into tight fists and his nails cut half-moons into his palms. He couldn’t force Michelle to make a choice, but maybe he could buy her a little bit of time. If he was lucky, it would be more than a little.
He stared up at the red brick façade and felt his heart began to ache.
It wasn’t a sure thing. There was a chance that she’d say no. But he didn’t have any other options… at least none that he knew of.
As he approached, the main door swung open. He passed by the golem doorman without a second glance. The surly guard hadn’t bothered. After all, he was obviously a demon, and a fellow employee.
There were familiar faces all around him. Music played from the antique jukebox, and holoscreens flickered with programming of various natures. He swept aside the floor debris with his mind out of sheer habit. Erik was running behind, or just hadn’t had the time to sweep in the last hour. The kid hated that particular part of his job, so Ravin usually picked it up. Today, he hadn’t been able to, for obvious reasons.
It wasn’t hard to find the purple-haired human. He was serving a table their drinks with the skill one would expect from a veteran of the industry. He caught sight of Ravin and came over as soon as he could.
“What’s going on?” he asked in his usual unflappable tone. “Is everything alright?”
Ravin shook his head. “Everything is horrible right now.” He didn’t even bother trying to hide it from Erik. What did it matter, anyway? “I need to talk to Sin.” He looked around, searching for the familiar form of his boss.
“She should be back in her office.” Erik jerked his thumb back at the room. “I’m sure she’d be willing to have you.” He turned away and went back to his job.
The demon let out a breath and watched Erik go. Then he shook his head and made his way to the office. If anyone would know where Sin was, it would be her pet. It was illegal to keep humans as pets in Ussix. Equal rights had been established at its founding. The same couldn’t be said for other countries. ‘Pet’ was more of an… affectionate term. Though, sometimes he wondered if their relationship was more than the ‘purely for fun’ they claimed it to be.
He couldn’t see either of them being okay with letting Erik die, no matter what they said.
Without a second thought, he knocked on Sin’s office door. Ravin was less than patient as he waited. After a moment, the door swung open and he was granted entrance.
Sin sat at her desk with her feet propped upon the edge, and a notebook in her hand. When she saw Ravin’s face, she winced. “You must have had a rough night. Not even a call in to let me know you wouldn’t be gracing us with your presence.” Her tone was flat, but not upset in any way. “That must be why you’re here,” she presumed.
Ravin didn’t bother beating around the bush. “Michelle is in the hospital,” he informed her, with what he hoped was an empty expression on his face. He could feel his throat close up as he tried to continue. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.
With tears threatening to roll, he continued, “I don’t know if she’s going to make it out, and I know she doesn’t have much longer left. But she hasn’t made her choice. She doesn’t know what to be.” He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t know if she has enough time to make that decision.”
He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say next. They were all a jumble again in his mind.
“Sin… if she dies…” He closed his eyes. “I want you to bring her back… I’ll pay the price. I know I don’t have much that would interest you… but… I can give you something.” He opened them again and stared into that dark gaze. “I will give you me.”
“Ravin.” Sin closed her book and slowly set it down. “I am going to decline your offer, but before you get up in arms, let me tell you why.” She stood and moved to the other side of the desk and sat on its surface, before puting her arm on his shoulder.
“A patron of our fine facility drinks more than their fair share,” she began. “Why do we offer to call this individual a cab or to port them home?”
Ravin turned his head away from her. “So they don’t hurt someone else or themselves.”
“Good. But why would they ever cause damage to themselves or others?” Sin pressed, her dark eyes smoldering.
He let out a breath. “Because their decision-making ability is impaired, and they don’t have full control over themselves.” His tail swished behind him impatiently. He gnashed his teeth. “And they don’t always know that it’s the case.”
Sin nodded and sat up straight. “Now let's start this conversation over again with you attempting to think like a rational demon and not like a hurricane.”
“I’m serious, Sin,” he insisted. He jabbed the point of his tail into his leg to bring back some clarity. “I want you to bring her back if she dies, and I’ll use myself as payment.” He was starting to get frustrated. Every moment she was trying to talk him out of it was one that was taken away from Michelle.
A dark look appeared in Sin’s fiery eyes; a ring of orange flared around her pupil as they slit vertically. “What makes you think your soul has any value to me, Ravin?” Her voice took on a different tone—it was breathtakingly beautiful like an otherworldly being. For a moment, she bared her sharpened fangs.
“If it was worth more than the 20 credit an hour job I pay you for, don’t you think I would have taken it already?” She grabbed his chin and forced him to look into her eyes, her nails pressed into his skin “Ravin, why are you trying to jump in front of a moving train when it hasn’t even left the station? If she wakes up, make her choose. If she doesn't, pick for her. It’s that simple. Want another Sin-patented analogy? Don’t play the hero, destroy the city in the process, and then say you saved the day.”
Ravin’s tears spilled down his cheeks. “I can’t pick, because I’m scared.” His voice quavered as he spoke. “I’m scared and I don’t know how to handle it. I am just sitting there, doing nothing, and Loviel won’t stop glaring at me. I can’t do anything to help her, except this.” He could feel his heart being torn in two as the words spilled out like a waterfall.
“You have every right to be petrified.” Sin nodded, and wiped his tears away. “But, do you honestly think this is the best way to help her? Get her a year, maybe, if she’s lucky, by selling off the torn-up thing you call a soul?”
Syndrome of Mortality (Break of Breath Book 2) Page 22