The Diary
(1935)
SOMEWHERE IN THE COUNTRY, MAY 1935
"How are you feeling, my sweet? Hogarth asked. Better? The room was very dark. She was lying under something heavy and she couldn’t see anything, not Hogarth’s face, not her own hands. She couldn’t move. What"
"What happened? she managed to say. I was so dizzy. Did I faint?
"Yes, in a manner of speaking, Hogarth said. His voice sounded different. Husky and impatient. Excited in a way she’d never heard before. There was something in his voice. Something that scared her.
"Listen to me very carefully, Hogarth said, taking her hands in his. I have something to say to you. He cleared his throat. I have been looking for you for a long time, he went on. We all have. You have been chosen. Out of all the beautiful and clever girls in the world whom we have seen, you are the chosen one. You alone.
"What? What are you talking about? Her voice sounded odd, as if it were coming from a great distance away. She could barely open her mouth.
"I’m afraid I haven’t been quite honest with you, my dear child.
Her heart started to thump. She couldn’t breathe; the corset was laced too tightly.
"I have brought you to a costume party, yes, but of a most particular kind, Hogarth was saying. A most particular private kind. A sort of Club, if you will. It is an ancient order of gentlemen who meet every so often for their own amusement.
His voice was getting more excited. Amusement, yes, he said again. And you, my darling, are our chosen amusement for the evening. You have been chosen.
"No, she said, struggling to get up. It was futile. She couldn’t move. She was trapped.
"Be still, he said. Don’t try to move. Don’t say a word. If you cause a fuss or start to scream I’m afraid I shall have to gag you. Besides, there’s no one here who could help you even if he heard you scream. Lie still, and be a good girl.
She didn’t understand, in her growing panic. What could he be talking about? Hogarth, gag her? He was joking; he must be. This was a sick joke. She had been dancing with Hogarth and she got dizzy, and now she must be dreaming.
"Do you remember what I said to you at June’s flat, about taking a chance to do something remarkable and splendid, to change your life utterly? he asked her. To take a step into the shadows.
His voice wasn’t the same. This wasn’t Hogarth, the silly, fussy Hogarth who took them for tea at the Café Royal.
"You, my darling, have taken that step. You are in the shadows here. And when you leave, nothing will be the same again. Yes, you have been chosen.
He wouldn’t stop talking, his hands still holding hers tightly.
"We have created our own rules, and they cannot be broken, he was saying. We are responsible to no one but ourselves. And you, our chosen guest, of course. It is a great honor, passed down from father to son, and so on and so on. To be a member of this Club. The most exclusive and splendid Club in the world, if I may be ever so slightly boastful. We meet every few years and share our secrets. Yes, we are bound by our oaths and our rules, and we will never betray them.
He let go of her hands, then propped some pillows under her head. She couldn’t move, not really; there was still something heavy on top of her. Hogarth held a glass of ice water to her lips, and she drank. She was so thirsty.
"You drugged me, she said. You drugged me and you tricked me.
"Yes, I’m terribly sorry. Please do forgive me. It was most unseemly.
"Unseemly? she said, her voice barely audible though she felt she was screaming. Are you mad? Let me go. You can’t do this, you must"
"I can do whatever I please, he said. We all can, and we all do. This Club has existed for hundreds of years, doing as it pleases. I am happy to say that you are one of the most magnificent of all the guests we have brought here. And I am responsible for finding you.
If she could see him clearly, she thought wildly, he would have his fussy little Hogarth smile on his face. She lashed out and tried to scratch his face, but he grabbed her hands again. He was surprisingly strong for such a small man.
"Listen carefully, he said. I very nearly had a fit of conscience on our drive in the country, which is most unlike me. Therefore, I have decided to tell you this, although I shouldn’t, because I have grown fond of you, truly. I don’t wish you any harm. Indeed I do not. It is my fondness for you and your splendid youth"your innocence and your curiosity and your lovely American energy"that has led me to choose you. Plus the absolutely perfect circumstances of your visit to our fair land. No family to speak of, no, and your ridiculous cousin June will not miss you, not at all.
"What? she said. She was starting to get hysterical. What are you going to do to me?
"A touch of the forbidden sharpens one’s focus, he said. That is why you are here. Here for the members of the Club. They all want you, you see, but only one can have you. Be the sensible girl I know you are and do as he says, and your stay here will be as painless as possible.
"No, she said no no"
"We have rules, you see, he said. Rules of a most particular sort. The rules must not be broken, or the member is blackballed forever. No one risks that, I assure you. We look after our guests. All the money, therefore, will be yours to keep.
"What? Money? What money?
"The money from this evening, that you are about to earn, of course. You will be able to retrieve that money from the Swiss Consolidated Bank Limited. Account number one one six dash six one four. Remember that number carefully. One one six dash six one four. It will be waiting for you along with whatever else you … well, you will find out soon enough. As well as jewelry, and whatever other favors he chooses to bestow upon you. All our members have been of a most generous nature in the past. I suspect you are about to inspire a generosity of the most munificent sort. I am very pleased indeed.
No, she must be dreaming. The sound of Hogarth’s voice was coming from the depths of a nightmare. She would wake up and be back in London, in their little flat, June snoring in the other bed.
"We have rules about the length of your stay, my dear, he said. So you needn’t worry. The more you are worth, the longer you stay. But the more you are worth, the more you will have earned. It’s quite simple, really. Quite simple. You needn’t fret. I’ll be looking in on you as often as I can.
She heard a noise from somewhere. Hogarth kissed her clenched fists and let them go, and before she could scream a hood was placed over her head and something tied tightly around the bottom of it so she couldn’t make a sound. Then the heavy cover atop her was folded more tightly, and she felt herself being picked up and slung over someone’s shoulder.
Where were they taking her? She was too terrified to think.
This must be a nightmare. People don’t do things like this to each other. People don’t"
She was being carried in a cold hallway, up some stairs, down again, through different rooms. She heard doors opening and closing. She thought she heard voices, a man laughing. She couldn’t breathe. They’re going to kill me, she thought. Please don’t kill me, I don’t want to die.
They stopped abruptly, and she was eased to her feet, the heavy thing covering her pulled away. A cold bracelet, thick like a cuff, was snapped on each wrist and her arms were pulled out slightly away from her body and attached to hooks on pillars on either side of her. She tried to move, but someone tied something thick and stiff around her middle, under her green satin bodice and around her corset, then pushed her up against a sort of pole.
Help me, someone, please help me. Don’t kill me, not here. I’m only eighteen, I haven’t lived"
"If I hear you make a sound, a low voice she’d never heard before whispered in her ear, I’ll slit your throat. Understand?
She nodded yes, trying not to whimper. Help me someone, please, what are they going to do to me, help me"
"Gentlemen, your attention please. It was Hogarth’s voice. The moment you’ve been waiting for has arrived.
The room instantly became silent.
"You are going to be very pleased he said very pleased indeed. We have here tonight an American, an orphan, poor darling, only eighteen years of age. Not only is she beautiful, charming, energetic, intelligent, but totally unspoiled. Exceptionally lovely. Eminently suitable for training. An absolutely enchanting creature. An absolutely enchanting virgin.
Not a word was spoken, but the room filled with applause.
"Gentlemen, here she is.
Her hood was unfastened and taken off, and she heard that sickening voice whisper again. Not a word, he said, I’ll be standing right behind you.
No no no"
She was standing behind a large painted screen, up on a sort of podium. The screen was taken away. The room was dark, except for a spotlight being shined on her face, and one smaller light near Hogarth, who was standing a few feet away from her at a lectern. His white satin suit was glistening in the light, and he held a gavel in one hand.
The bright light hurt her eyes and she squeezed them shut.
"I shall start the bidding at one thousand pounds, said Hogarth.
She squeezed her eyes tighter in horrified astonishment. He had tricked her here and drugged her, and now she was being offered for sale to the members of the Club.
Hogarth was the auctioneer.
No no no"
She couldn’t help herself. She opened her eyes, and gradually they adjusted to the bright light still shining on her face. There was no sound at all from the men seated below. They were dressed as monks, in dark robes with their hoods pulled over their faces. She couldn’t see their faces; they had black masks on as well.
"Fifteen thousand, Hogarth was saying, twenty thousand.
Shiny black leather gloves covered their hands. She saw this every time they raised their paddles.
They all looked horrifyingly identical, indistinguishably faceless men who sat devouring her, silently bidding.
She was too terrified to move, even if she could. Too terrified to scream.
"Twenty-five thousand, Hogarth said. Splendid. He nodded at the man standing behind her, and before she realized what he’d done, he unfastened her bodice and took it off, leaving her breasts exposed.
The men moved restlessly in their seats. They all wanted her, every one. She could feel their desire rising toward her, choking her.
No no no"
"Forty thousand. Forty-five thousand. Fifty thousand. Excellent, Hogarth said.
The horrible man behind her stepped forward again and unfastened her skirt and all her petticoats. She was standing there with nothing on but her knickers, her shoes and stockings and golden garters, her corset, and the emerald and diamond choker shimmering like green fire on her neck.
"The highest bid on record, as you know, is eighty-five thousand, Hogarth announced. Gentlemen, shall we continue?
The paddles went up again.
"Seventy-five thousand. Eighty thousand. Eighty-five thousand.
Another round of applause.
Ninety thousand. One hundred thousand pounds. Hogarth wiped his brow with his spotless white handkerchief.
"A toast, gentlemen, he said, raising a glass. A toast to the splendid generosity of the members of the Club. Polite applause once more.
"Shall we continue? Hogarth said, pointing at a paddle. One hundred ten thousand. One hundred fifteen thousand. One hundred twenty thousand. No more paddles went up. One hundred twenty thousand pounds, gentlemen. Most satisfactory. Most satisfactory indeed. One hundred twenty thousand pounds, going. One hundred twenty"
"One million pounds, a voice rang out.
There was a hushed intake of breath. Not only that someone had spoken, a flagrant flouting of the rules. That he had spoken those three words. Such a stupendous sum.
"Sir, Hogarth said, frowning, this is most unseemly.
Unseemly, she thought wildly, unseemly?
"Kindly step forward, Hogarth ordered. The man behind her joined Hogarth as the bidder approached them. There was a short conversation; then Hogarth returned to the lectern, beaming.
"Well, gentlemen, forgive my haste. Every detail appears to be in order. The funding is secure, and as we all know, there have been exceptions before in especially unusual circumstances. This appears to be one of them. A most historic occasion, I say. Yes indeed. Most historic. Therefore, I throw the vote to you. Shall we honor his bid? Your paddles, gentlemen, for aye.
The paddles were slowly raised, all save one. The second-to-last bidder.
"The vote must be unanimous, Hogarth said, frowning again.
All eyes turned to the holdout. After a moment, he grudgingly raised his paddle.
"One million pounds! Hogarth cried, banging down his gavel. A new record! One million pounds, he was thinking, unbelievable! All because he’d discovered her, thanks to a revolting American, that dreadful June Nickerson, trying to flirt with him in the Ivy one evening he’d thought was going to be an interminable waste of his time.
"Gentlemen, he said, dinner will be served in twenty minutes.
She saw them put their paddles down and stand up, all except one. And she started to laugh. A wild, hysterical laugh. Sold for a million pounds to a masked monk! A masked madman! She couldn’t help herself. She didn’t care if that man was going to slit her throat"she couldn’t stop.
They were all looking at her, she knew. Then they all started laughing as well.
The screen was replaced so the men could no longer see her. That was the signal for the room to be emptied, and she heard a collective groan. The hood was pushed over her head and tied tightly, and her laughter died away as she panicked. The moment she was released from the pillars the heavy thing was wrapped around her again so she couldn’t move. Then she was picked up and slung over someone’s shoulder and taken down the steps, through hallways, up and down. They were moving very fast. She was dizzy and thought she’d be sick.
A door opened and shut, and they stopped. Her head was still upside down. The hood was removed, and her wig and the cap covering her hair, but it was pitch-black and she couldn’t see. Someone was gathering the mass of her hair.
Don’t cut off my hair. Don’t cut off my head.
With her hair held tightly, someone else was wrapping something around her eyes. A blindfold of so many layers she couldn’t possibly see through it or unbind it herself, even if her hands were free.
They were moving again. Into another room, the door opening and shutting. Then she was eased down onto a bed, facedown. Her shoes were removed and something cold was attached to one of her ankles. They unfastened her wrists and turned her over, taking off the heavy thing around her. Her arms were pulled away from her sides and she felt them hooking something into the cuffs still on her wrists. They unfastened the necklace. Then they were gone.
She was lying in utter darkness. She tried to pull against what they’d attached her to, but she could barely move. The corset was so tight. She couldn’t breathe.
This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t possible.
She was trapped inside a nightmare. There was no escape.
Back in the other room, the members of the Club were milling about, talking eagerly. Who could it possibly have been among them to have bid that stupendous sum? Ah, she was luscious indeed. A fine figure of a girl. So young, so fresh. So easy to train. They all sighed at the unfairness of it.
"Could any woman be worth it?
"How long will it take him, do you think? How long can he have her?
"I say, good question. A thousand per week, that’s the rule, he said. One million pounds equals one thousand weeks. Fifty-two weeks per year. That’s, let’s see, nineteen and nearly one-quarter years. So he will have to keep her until 1954.
They laughed.
"Not worth the time, someone said. Worse than a bloody wife. Cost a bloody fortune.
"Plus the secrecy. And the maintenance. Bugger of a headache.
"She’s going to be a handful. Did you hear that laugh! He’ll
have his hands full, I warrant.
They laughed again.
But they all still wanted her. Wanted her more than ever.
PART III
The phoenix
of the Hills
(1954-1956)
Belladonna passing by
Do not let her see you cry
Hurry, darling, better fly
I don’t need to tell you why
Belladonna watch you die
12
The Banisters of
the Plantation
Stand on the veranda outside the big house and twirl around. Everywhere you look, everything you see: All belongs to Belladonna. The grounds and the rolling hills, the streams and ponds, the paddocks and fields, the huge oval of our own racetrack and the long stretch of private runway, the forests and the fencing, the vegetable and rose and flower gardens, the hedged maze and the gravel walkways, the sculpted fountain spewing cascades of scented water and the smaller fountains misting around it, the azure pool and the fish pond full of koi and the mysterious grotto and its fanciful caves. The stables and the garages and the shooting range and the carpentry shop and the dozens of outlying cottages and houses for all the employees of the estate. All 247,623 acres belonging to La Casa della Fenice.
The House of the Phoenix.
Nothing like a gentle whiff of fresh country air in our faces!
While our connected town houses in New York belong to a city, cool and sophisticated, La Fenice is a quite different place. The big plantation house radiates cheerfulness and comfort as the curtains stir with the windows open wide on the surrounding vistas. Belladonna knew exactly why I picked this house: It reminds us of Italy.
If only we were still there, at Ca’ d’Oro. If only Leandro were here. How much we miss him; how much I wish I could talk to him, to be given a few words of guidance. How proud I think he’d be of what we created in the Club Belladonna. Of how we taught June a lesson she’ll never forget, and what we did to Sir Patty. Of how Belladonna could have cracked at the sight of him, at the sound of his voice and the sheen of his ring.
But she didn’t.
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