by M. C. Cerny
“Oh shit.” Heaving, I sat up and pushed her head away from my overly sensitive and still throbbing core.
“So unfair, Jude.” Ella sounded grumpy, lips smacking with disappointment, but I was too overwhelmed by coming hard enough my blurred vision nearly blacked out. Even I couldn’t elicit that kind of response playing solo.
“What?” I groaned.
“I didn’t even get to finger you.” If my eyes weren’t staring at a mere impression of flesh in the dark, I would swear she was pouting.
“Seriously, Ella?” I clutched the railing of the shower glad for leverage of some kind to brace myself with as I stood up unsteady to finish washing. The moment clearly over, turning away from her. I wasn’t sure now whom was using who. Maybe I was cold, should I have done something for her? Frankly I wasn’t in the mood if she was going to glower at me. My intuition was like a Spidey sense of sorts and I could feel her channeling her irritation into something else.
“Please say you’ll come to The Club with me on Friday. We’ll have so much fun.” Begging, she touched me tentatively, a slight whine in her voice, and I shuddered from the contact.
“Of course.” I brushed her off, but a nagging sense of doubt clouded my mind, and I pushed it aside focused on the pleasures I’d be missing out on if I didn’t go. He certainly wasn’t going to fulfill my desires any time soon.
Four
LORAND
What the fuck was she doing here? Strange feelings of…jealously, anger and other emotions I had trouble connecting, flickered like a slow fire stoked by the image of her wearing…
Fuck…the scrap of fabric shouldn’t be considered clothing. Short, it was too damn short with her legs exposed the way they were. Why wasn’t she at home? Waiting for me? Where she should be. Because you’re the biggest dick she’s ever met, what where you expecting? Never in a million years did I presume to find my prim little Jude here at the club where I regularly slacked my desires.
In the past tense of course–because I couldn’t seem to get a damn erection without thinking of her and that made it hard to be with anyone else. Coming to the club all these years was a cover of sorts for the work I did, but still…I was a man and I had desires of a sort that I preferred with the right partners.
Of course this was also where I met Sorenson to get the majority of my kill contracts. He groomed me for this and then as a reward, he’d gotten me a membership when he learned of my proclivities. Surely I wasn’t the only man who liked binding and blindfolding partners deciding how and when I would let them touch me. For a time it had worked to assuage the guilt and shame of what I did until I started visiting Jude...crossing the boundary touching her. She affected me deeply, though what I did was invasive, and in many ways unforgivable. I wasn’t a complete psychopath without awareness; I just stopped caring along the path of my own damnation.
I hated my job even if I was good at it. Nobody should be good at killing, and while my contracts where more hand-picked out of desire than necessity these days, it was a burden I chose to carry alone. If he was here tonight and he saw Jude, it was going to be a mess of unholy proportions. I didn’t need her reminding him of the obligations I’d yet to fulfill or the prize I was taking too soon.
Standing on the far side of the room in the shadows out of sight sipping my drink, I watched her circle the club, her hand resting on the arm of her female friend, Ella Parks. I knew Ella. We had all attended Karim Academy, though at different times. I didn’t have a scholarship to attend and I guess Sorenson felt I owed him for that. Part of me wondered if I had been hand-picked to be an assassin just like those girls had been to be the sexual bed partners of those influential and depraved men. I should have known better showing my face in Karim, but I still knew the majority of students who had attended there and remained living in town as adults. I wasn’t completely unrecognizable and that was a problem hiding in plain sight.
The woman kept caressing Jude and whispering into her ear. It burned me from the inside out. So that was the way things turned for Jude after I turned her down? I was slightly shocked to say the least. The draw I felt to her strangely intensified, but not because she was flirting with another woman. That wasn’t the forbidden part of it for me, it was the fact I felt a little played, honestly. I thought she was into me, despite my own reservations, but maybe I was wrong?
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?” Tallulah Fremanis, or rather Tally as she is known in The Club plucked my drink from my hand placing it on a passing server’s tray giving me a fresh one. The service here was if anything always impeccable.
“I don’t know who you’re referring to, Tally.” My voice is low, rough because I’m not one much for words, ever. Jude wasn’t the only recipient of my selective mutism.
She laughed, eyes twinkling with mirth. “That one….” She pointed to Jude nodding. “She’s new, a friend of Miss Parks. I think she’s out of her element, but we’ll see.” Tally taps her lips thoughtfully assessing the room filled with newcomers and suits alike making sure everyone behaves inside The Club on this Friday night. These monthly newbie trials could be interesting, but Tally kept tabs on everyone and it was rare something bad happened with all the safety precautions The Club took to protect the established members as well as potential new ones.
“What do you mean?” Taking a drink, I swallowed slowly clearing my throat and letting the Maker’s Mark burn warmth down my chest loosening me up.
“She just doesn’t fit in, Lorand. I can practically smell the inexperience off of her.” Tally is shaking her head as if she’s sizing up Jude and wondering how the hell she got in here with Ella. Shit, I was wondering it myself. Continuing she says, “Try not to kill anyone while you’re in town my dear. I miss your face.” Tally taps my arm and then my cheek playfully before sashaying her fine ass back behind the bar near where Ella has guided Jude. I watched her leave shaking my own head. Tally could have made a formidable lover for the things I desired, but I knew she was happily content in a relationship. Actually, I was pretty sure she’d top me and be the real one in charge. She was seeing a security type guy if memory served me correctly, lucky man.
I had no doubt that Jude would be fine with Ella provided she didn’t venture upstairs to one of the private rooms unattended. I couldn’t babysit her tonight. I was still waiting for Sorenson to meet me and give me my next assignment. However, Jude was proving to be quite the distraction. I would have to find a way to take her to task later tonight once she got her ass back home, alone.
One on one, our dance made sense, a tango filled with angst, guilt and un-fulfilled desires, but here in public my hands were tied. Turning away past the dance floor and crowded bar, I headed down a corridor to a VIP area with booths shrouded in darkness and dim recessed lighting. One of Sorenson’s private suits, also a member like me, nodded and ushered me inside the booth.
“Ah, my Falcon has returned.” Sorenson tipped his drink at me using my professional name and pushed an envelope across the table in my direction.
Cracking a smile, I looked over my mentor with a more critical eye. His hair was dark and liberally peppered with grey. His dark eyes showed a weathered knowledge of life and exhaustion, likely from the burdens and secrets he carried. The suit he wore was expensive and finely pressed. There was never a time Sorenson didn’t wear a three piece suit but now it hung a little more loosely, his face more gaunt and angular. He was aging poorly sipping the alcohol of his drink recklessly. It would only be a matter of time before I was free of him as well.
“Of course when you brand all of your kills with that ridiculous symbol it’s hard to be missed, no? You swoop in and out too quick to be detected.” He flips his hand in the air annoyed, but that’s typical for Sorenson. Nothing pleases this man. “What is that thing again? The Eye of something?” I don’t bother to explain what it is and how it has nothing to do with my name as I redirected our conversation. It’s a symbol of protection and promised retribution, but I’m not here to discuss
that with him.
Instead, I brushed him off casually. “Hey, a man in my business needs to leave a calling card.” Or a don’t fuck with me message.
“Cocky bastard.” Sorenson laughs out loud and downs his drink. Snapping his fingers gets the guy outside to fetch him a new one leaving the two of us alone.
“So what’s this job entail?” I fingered the edges of the envelope cautiously.
“Seems like a certain senator’s son has got his dick in a pickle. Quite an embarrassment to the old family tree.” He tapped his fingers in a prayer like form together waiting.
“Supposing the apple doesn’t fall too far, I presume?” Sorenson had a knack for being annoyingly cryptic.
“You presume correctly, Falcon,” and he nods at me to take the envelope.
“Yes, but what’s he done?” I tapped the envelope back expecting an answer I knew wasn’t forthcoming, at least not tonight.
Sorenson rolled his eyes looking bored and answered me with an exhausted sigh. “Oh for fuck’s sake Lorand. He hasn’t twiddled a minor or so much as kicked a puppy if that’s what you’re asking. This desire of yours to only erase the drab and impure is becoming annoyingly anti-climactic.”
“Perhaps.” Shrugging, I waited for him to elaborate. It wasn’t a good idea to give Sorenson any ammo to use against me.
“You know the mark is an easy one. You can find him right here if you like.” I held up my hand to stop him.
“I’m not interested in those details right now.” My mentor makes a tsking sound. “Always in a rush.”
“I don’t know if I’ll even take the job.”
“I don’t know when the fuck you decided to grow some god damn morals.” He leans over the table sneering at me. “You kill for money, or did you forget everything I taught you? Everything I gave you and made you into is because of me.” It was unlikely I’d ever forget. Sorenson put that first gun in my hand, resting it against a particularly filthy pedophile’s head or so he told me. He forced me to pull the trigger by squeezing my fingers over it feeling the magazine release pop against the skin and bones of my adolescent hand, blood spraying back and hitting my fluttering eyes. Yeah, you don’t forget your first kill. “Since when does Lorand Duvall not take a job? Especially one from me.” Sorenson’s dark eyes filled with rage directed at me. He could be dangerous but I doubted I was worth the effort to him…after all, I did his dirty work.
I tried sarcasm with a casual shrug. “Maybe I won the lottery. A windfall of money would certainly make this all less enticing.”
He doesn’t seem amused in the least and I reminded myself that this man is not kind for any purpose other than his own self-serving ones. “Fine. The next time I come across a pedophile with a contract on his head I’ll be sure to call.”
“Mmm.” Now that was a contract I wouldn’t turn down.
He became serious with his next question. “Are you reneging on you debt?” That damn debt would hang around my neck like a noose until I fulfilled it.
“No. I never said that.” Without having opened the envelope, I pushed it back towards him. I was here to see Jude, I should have told him I was thinking of seriously quitting, but the words never came.
His hand covered mine squeezing and the message is clear in his eyes, I’m not getting out of this contract. “No, take it. I want you to think about it. You won’t get to say no the next time.”
“Fine.” I stuffed the envelope in the breast pocket of my suit jacket hoping to burn the information inside later.
“You’ll regret not taking this one.” It’s my last warning to follow through and he points at me before snapping his fingers for the next drink. “It would have been so easy to make it look like an accident,” he mused. “Blasted fool pilot’s his own small aircraft as a fucking hobby.” Grunting, I let it go. I know there are only two ways out of this profession. I’d prefer not rotting somewhere in the desert outside the Alamo.
“Well, then…if we’re done?” I moved to stand, waiting to be dismissed.
“Aye, we’re done. Read the file and get back to me.” Nodding, Sorenson lets me go and I make my way back towards the bar where Tally waved me over. Her face is pinched, worried looking.
“Where is she?” I asked hoping this night would not be a total loss.
“Upstairs. Seems Miss Parks was invited by a newer member to play this evening, she brought Jude as company.”
“Room?”
Tally taps the earbud she has and listens for a moment before replying. “They were seen going upstairs, St. Andrew’s Cross, third floor.”
“The hell?”
Grabbing my arm she stops me from leaving. “Lorand, you can’t interrupt an established scene.”
“I’ll do my best.” I know the rules, but it doesn’t mean I won’t throw them out the window for Jude. Nodding, she lets me go. Confused as to why Jude would be up there of all places I dart up the stairs trying to look inconspicuous and failing. I roamed the hallway until I get to the room in question. I picked up the schedule and see that it’s occupied for the evening. I stand at the door listening, waiting. Nothing good can come of going in there I tell myself and turn to leave. If this is what Jude wants, who the hell was I to stop her? I had nothing on her, no hold, nothing promised other than my guilt and if she knew me…well let’s just say she would have been running as fast as she could away from me.
Five
JUDE
Nerves settled low in my stomach like bolts of lightning I remembered seeing as a kid jumping from cloud to cloud across the Texas sky. Ella had plied me with several drinks and I dutifully followed along for the pleasurable evening she promised me. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun tonight.” She curled her hand around mine gushing with excitement, pulling me towards the bar. My smile forced.
“Ella, you must introduce me to your lovely friend.” The baritone sounding voice laid his hand on my bare shoulder tracing one of my faint scars that crisscrossed my skin. Clammy finger tips tugged on the strap of my dress before trailing down my arm in a slithery manner.
“Ken, this is Jude.” Ella makes the introductions and he lifted my hand to kiss it, his damp fleshy lips lingering much to long for my liking. He definitely wasn’t the hyper masculine doll little girls played with come to life with moves likes that.
“Pleasure.” He said and I imagined he would have been nodding his head in some fake gentlemanly fashion.
I let Ella do all the talking as my mind wanders absorbing the charged energy of the club. I feel alive but apprehensive and wondering if this was a good idea at all. “Thank you for the invitation to sponsor us tonight. I’ve been looking forward to attending one of these events for a while now.” Lifting my head up I swear I smell that familiar masculine scent that makes my skin zing and tighten in awareness, but it’s gone just as quickly as I imagined it. My chest deflates a little with disappointment. I wonder what my mystery man would think of me here like this.
Prodding me back to reality is Ella asking me a question. “Huh?” I responded.
“Jude, I asked if you wanted to join us upstairs. We’re going to the cross.” Ella giggles and I ponder for a second what the hell she wants to pray about, but don’t ask her any other questions to clarify. As long as she doesn’t leave me down here to some random sexual deviant’s whims I was fine.
“Lead the way.” We linked arms and Ken takes my other side guiding me up a set of stairs a bit too helpfully down another hallway to a room with a door. I wasn’t an invalid, but it was obvious he was catering to my lack of sight right away gesturing directions every turn we came upon and describing the club’s updated decor courtesy of Claire Phillips, a local interior designer whose name was familiar to me.
“Ladies, why don’t you warm things up a bit while I grab us some refreshments to hold us over?”
“Excellent.” Ella tugged me over to a low couch where she guided me to sit. “I am so happy you decided to come out with me.” Ella has gone back to being tou
chy feely again, but I’m left cold thinking that I’d rather be somewhere else than here.
“I told you I would. What is this place besides a sex club? I sense it’s something more.” My intuition heightened as Ella moved closer to me.
“It’s a place where people like us can safely explore our desires.” She brushes a lock of my hair over my shoulder kissing my cheek.
“Us? I’m not really sure I am someone like that.” Ella kissed my lips, her lip gloss tasted sugar sweet, too sticky to be natural. I don’t know if I’m like that, into those things, but I’m not vehemently disagreeing right away either.
“Oh Jude, I’m on the continuum, I like everything, you know.” She’s all over my personal space here on the couch. I wondered if I can make some excuse to get the evening moving along toward the end despite wanting this at first.
“Isn’t that kind of greedy?” She laughed and I wondered next where Ken fit in, because while I was okay playing with my friend and experimenting, he was definitely not a part of the package deal tonight. Ken strikes me as a slim ball I’d rather not be around.
“Don’t you think that’s hypocritical, Jude? I mean you’re here with me.” She palmed my breast through the silk of my dress and desire weakened my resistance.
“I suppose you’re right. I’m sorry if that sounded judgmental, I’m just not one hundred percent into your friend Ken here.” Maybe I was just being a bitch since my recent encounter with him made me so unsettled.
“I know you didn’t mean it that way. Besides I thought we could all have some fun and loosen up. You don’t want to remain pure as snow forever do you?”
Instinctively I rolled my eyes as useless as they were and replied sarcastically. “I’ve never seen snow in Texas.”