Loving Her

by Hutton, CM

  I texted Em from the bathroom and told her I was catching a cab home because I just couldn’t watch ‘The Rylan Show’ anymore, but made her promise not to tell Cale why I was leaving. He would have walked over and beat the shit out of Rylan just for hurting me.

  Emily:

  Okay, Jen. I’m sorry.

  I’ll tell Cale you felt sick or something.

  Call me when you get home.

  I loved that she just understood and didn’t fight me when things were difficult.

  I left the restaurant without looking toward his table or at anyone else. I drove home, tears running down my face, feeling so completely confused and disgusted with everything. I wanted to just crawl in bed and stay there for days. I didn’t understand.

  As soon as I walked in my door, I texted Emily to let her know I was home.

  Emily:

  Okay. I love you.

  Jen:

  Love you too. Tell Cale

  I said ‘happy birthday.’

  I’ll call you tomorrow.

  I walked to my bathroom and climbed in the shower. I let the water wash over me and tried to get the image of Rylan and his girlfriend out of my head. My thoughts wondered to why he would come over here twice to make sure I wasn’t mad at him and let it escalate into more than just an apology. I just didn’t get it.

  I fell asleep on top of the covers on my bed and slept soundly most of the night. I awoke right before my alarm went off and crawled out of bed to shower for work. As I passed my phone, I saw a text from Jack. Great! Just what I needed.

  Jack:

  Hi. I think we need to kiss

  and make up. I was a jerk for not

  calling and checking up on you.

  Truth is, I was bullied into leaving

  you alone. Can we have drinks or something?

  Well, at least he was honest…sort of. I was assuming it was Rylan that ‘bullied’ him.

  Jen:

  Hi, Jack. Yeah…not sure that it’s a good idea

  to meet with you. I heard ALL about what

  happened after out last encounter.

  You’re a real fucking asshole!

  Jack:

  Yeah. I was a TOTAL FUCKING

  ASSHOLE to talk about you and

  what happened between us, Jen.

  It was an incredible night and

  I can’t stop thinking about you. So,

  I guess the joke’s on me, huh?

  I really want to see you again.

  Dinner? Nothing more…promise!

  We can even meet at the restaurant.

  Shit! I really didn’t know if it was the right thing to do to go out with Jack; especially after what I had learned about him from Rylan. But, Rylan lied about having a girlfriend and I had proof….from my own eyes.

  I didn’t answer for a long while. I needed a little time to think and maybe plan a little revenge. It wasn’t that I really wanted to go out with Jack, but I had a feeling it might bother Rylan and I wanted to get back at him for making me care about him. Maybe it was time I started learning how to use people, too. I mean, Rylan used Jack’s bullshit as an excuse to call, take me out and fuck me crazy. So, even though Jack had just admitted to being exactly what Rylan claimed him to be and I might be setting myself up for more than I bargained for, I wanted to hurt Rylan and Jack was the key.

  Jen:

  Sure. When and where?

  But, Jack….this is just dinner!

  I will be arriving alone and leaving

  alone…GOT IT!

  Done. I almost felt better. Jack texted back.

  Jack:

  Tomorrow…Friday. I’ll pick you up

  at 7:00. Looking forward to it.

  Jen:

  Okay. See you then.

  I hoped I was doing the right thing because I had an uneasy feeling about it.

  I left for work right on time; the conversation with Jack still lingering in my mind. It felt like I was cheating on Rylan, even though we certainly weren’t a couple…hell, we were nothing, as a matter of fact, especially considering the fact that he had a girlfriend or wife or whatever.

  My day was pretty productive, but at 4:30 I received a text that really threw my day into a tailspin.

  Rylan:

  Jen. I’m sorry this is the first time

  I’ve contacted you all week. I’d like

  to make it up to you by going out

  on Friday night. Dancing?

  What the hell? Oh, game on asshole!

  Jen:

  Sorry, Rylan. I have plans…

  with Jack. You’re too late.

  And, I really felt like that. He was too late. I saw him with someone just the night before. How in the hell did he have the nerve to ask me out?!?

  He immediately texted me back.

  Rylan:

  WHAT?!?!?

  THE FUCK YOU ARE!!

  You’re NOT going out with

  that fucking prick, Jen.

  You’d better cancel

  your fucking date with him!

  Not happening!

  Whoa! His sudden change in personality nearly made me drop my phone. I wasn’t expecting that kind of immediate, forceful reaction. And, where the hell did this macho, psycho shit come from? And, where the fuck did he get off telling me what I was or wasn’t going to do!

  Jen:

  Rylan Daniels!!

  You have absolutely no say in what

  I do or who I do it with! Fuck you, asshole!

  I saw you. I know about HER!

  So, don’t you dare tell me what to do!

  I wasn’t going to say a word about seeing him with her, but my temper got the best of me.

  Rylan:

  What the hell are you talking about?

  You will NOT go with HIM, Jen!

  You are supposed to be with me, not him!

  Wait, what? I didn’t belong to anyone. What the hell?

  Jen:

  Rylan, what in God’s name makes

  you think I belong to YOU?

  I saw you at Phil’s with your

  girlfriend or wife or whoever

  the hell she was!

  Don’t play your fucking

  games with me. I’m done.

  He didn’t answer, so I guessed I’d made my point. I almost felt sad about not getting another text from Rylan. I wanted him to at least admit that he had a girlfriend. I suppose him not responding was my confirmation.

  I packed my stuff up and headed home. I couldn’t work after that little conversation so it was a blessing that the day was just about over because my mind was a complete fucking mess.

  I barely remember making the drive to my condo. But, I became fully aware of everything as soon as I walked up to my door and saw him. He stood and walked toward me with a look on his face that I recognized, but had not seen on his beautiful face before. He had a determined, possessive, craziness about him and I froze in place. “Rylan? What the hell do you want?”

  He grabbed the back of my head and slammed his body and lips against mine. I started to protest and push him away, but God he felt and tasted so good. I couldn’t help but to kiss him back. I stood with my arms to my side, motionless except for my mouth moving against his. My whole body was aching for Rylan and I hated it. I suddenly remembered her and stiffened, pulling away from him.

  “Stop!” I finally managed to get out as I pushed against his chest, but he wrapped his arms around my body and held me tight to his chest.

  “No, Jen. I’m not stopping.” Rylan voice was a hard whisper as he laid his forehead against mine. I couldn’t think. “You want me too, don’t you? Please tell me you do.”

  I tried to back out of his arms, but he held me tight. “Rylan.” Tears were forming and threatened to fall. “What are doing? I saw you. You have a girlfriend. Please stop this. You’re hurting me.” My words weren’t harsh or ugly like I wanted them to be. Instead, the hurt and sadness seeped through every one of them and I couldn’t stop the t
ears from streaming down my cheeks. I barely knew Rylan, but the thought of his heart belonging to someone else, killed me. I didn’t want to lose him.

  “No, Jen. You’ve got it wrong. Please listen. That was my sister-in-law.” What? Who holds hands with their sister-in-law?

  “Rylan, don’t lie…please. Not now. You looked a little too intimate for that to be your sister-in-law.” This time, when I pulled away, he let go and I turned to walk to my door and go inside. As I unlocked the door, twisted the knob and without turning around, I softly said, “Just leave, Rylan. Let me keep a little of my dignity, I’m begging you.”

  Rylan followed me, reached from behind me and stopped me from opening the door. I could feel his body gently pressed against my back. He leaned into my ear and said, “Jen. You don’t understand. She’s helped me through a lot of…..things and has known me a long time. We have more of a brother/sister relationship. I mean, didn’t you see my brother sitting with us?”

  Brother? What? I spun around to see his face and he sucked in a small breath at seeing my face wet with tears. “No Rylan. I saw the two of you at the table, holding hands and you wiping tears off her face.” My voice sounded small and pathetic and I felt broken over a man I barely knew.

  He smiled slightly, cupped my face and said, “Baby. My brother Romyn was there too. He was just late so we sat to talk. It wasn’t what you thought. Please believe me. I was actually telling her about you.” He froze, just staring at me.

  “Me?” I felt a little hope spring up in my torn heart.

  “Yeah, you. I told her I wanted to get to know you better, maybe have her and my brother meet you.” He carefully rubbed his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe away the tears running down my face. “What’s wrong, Jen?”

  “I don’t know. I mean…shit, Rylan. I don’t even know you, but when I saw you with her, I just….” I couldn’t finish my thought because Rylan kissed my mouth so tenderly.

  “You just sort of lost it like I did when you said you were going out with that prick.” Yep.

  “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” I smiled a little.

  “Jen, you’re not going out with him.” It wasn’t a question and I was okay with that.

  “Rylan,” I started.

  “NO, JEN! You’re not going out with him! Please don’t ask me to watch you go out with that asshole. I can’t let you. I just can’t.”

  “Why, Rylan?”

  “Because… you’re not! You’re mine, not his. I just want to…I want time to know you; all about you and I won’t share you while we’re trying to learn each other. Please, just don’t see him.” His words were raw and painful, but I didn’t know why.

  “Rylan.” He stared at me and took a sharp breath like he was preparing for a backlash, but that wasn’t what was going to happen. “I was going to say ‘okay.’ I won’t go out with him. I want time to know you, too. I only said ‘yes’ to Jack because I felt so hurt seeing you with someone else.” I paused. “I can’t believe I’m saying all this. We’ve only known each other a short time, but it killed me Rylan. Losing the hope of something more with you, killed me.”

  He pulled me to his chest and said, “Yeah, that’s what I was feeling when you said you were going out with Jack and I was ‘too late.’ I couldn’t get over here fast enough, especially when I figured out you thought I had another girl.”

  Another girl?!? I smiled at the thought of being ‘his girl.’

  “Can we go inside?” I wanted to stop giving my noisy-assed neighbors a show.

  “I can come in?” He asked with raised eyebrows.

  “Yes. You will come in, Ry. It’s not a choice. It’s an order.” He smiled at my words and kissed my forehead.

  “Yes ma’am.” I laughed and opened my condo door, but didn’t get very far. Rylan grabbed my arm, spun me around and attacked my mouth with his. One hand intertwined through my hair to hold me to him while the other pressed into my lower back and rubbed small, caressing circles as his tongue gently searched my mouth. He felt so good against my body.

  I shoved my hands through his hair, holding his head to me as I tried to slow our kisses down. I wanted to savor this beautiful man. “Hey, let’s move a little further inside.”

  “Yeah, okay.” He bent and scooped me into his arms making me squeal.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Taking us to your room. I need to touch every part of you, please.” Rylan was searching my face for approval as he slowly walked toward my bedroom door.

  “Well, I guess that would be okay.” I winked and smiled and his face dropped as he sighed and leaned his head down on my shoulder. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I lifted his head with my free hand.

  “Nothing. I just thought you were about to make me leave or something. I was going to go crazy if you did, baby.” He smiled and kissed my lips as we entered my room.

  Rylan slowly placed me on my bed and crawled up to lay beside me. We were face to face and he was staring at me as he stroked my cheek. “So, do you want to meet my mystery woman?”

  “Oh, not funny babe! You’re little mystery woman made me feel all kinds of ‘crazy’ that I hadn’t felt before.” He laughed.

  “Well, I know the feeling. I was considering going to beat the shit out of Jack before I came here, just so you couldn’t go out with him.” I smiled and kissed his nose.

  “We’re quite the pair, huh?” His expression changed slightly and I caught it. “Well, not a pair….just…”

  “Shh.” He placed his finger on my lips. “Pair sounds nice. It’s just been a long time since I was a ‘pair.’ Makes me feel a little strange, is all. But, I certainly like it.”

  I didn’t say anything. I just reached up and kissed him as I pushed his shoulder, making him lay on his back so that I could climb on top of him. Rylan wrapped his arms around my hips and moved me to line up with his. I felt what he wanted me to feel. He was as turned on as I was, so I started grinding against him as our kiss intensified. “Ahh, you do crazy things to me, Ry.”

  “I want to do crazy things to you, Jen. It’s all I’ve been thinking about this week.”

  “Hmm….sounds familiar. I couldn’t get you off my mind either.” And, now I needed more of him.

  I kissed down his neck then sat up, straddling him and started unbuttoning my shirt. He held his hands on my hips and gently moved me back and forth on his hard cock. I closed my eyes and moaned at the feeling. I had to stop undressing myself for a few seconds just to feel what he was doing.

  He stopped his movements and I opened my eyes to see his slight, cocky smile. “You keep going and I’ll keep going, got it.”

  I slapped his chest and said, “Oh, is that how you’re gonna play this?”

  “Yep.”

  I went back to unbuttoning my shirt and he pushed his hips up just a bit and hit my clit. I gasped and he grinned. Oh, he was going to pay for that one.

  I tried to focus on my striptease as he started moving our hips. I finished my shirt, then reached around behind me and unhooked my white lace bra. I caught the look on his face as he was staring at my lace covered breast just before I slid the straps down my arms and revealed my taut nipples. He was struggling to hold himself together.

  I dropped my bra to the floor and started rubbing my breasts. His grip on my hips tightened as if he was restraining himself. I knew this drove him crazy. He’d told me so the last time we were here together.

  I slid my hands down my body to the button of my slacks and unfastened them. Rylan’s eyes glazed over with lust as I let one of my hands slip down the front of my pants. I grazed the part of his cock that was right beneath where my hands stopped. He jumped slightly at my touch then squinted his eyes and groaned, “Hey. No fair.”

  “What?” I said with a husky, lust-filled voice that didn’t sound like me. “I was just touching myself….right here.” I grazed him again as I rubbed my clit. We both moaned and I leaned my head back and concentrated on the intense feelings I was experiencing.
/>
  “Jen, look at me.” His sexy voice nearly had me exploding, but I did what he said and looked at him. “You are so damn sexy. I love watching you do that to yourself. Don’t stop.” He moved his hips and pushed mine harder against him.

  “Ry….oh God. I. Need. You.” My words were slow and raspy.

  “I know, baby. I can see it and it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I love that it’s me and you doing this to you….making you feel so good.” He never took his hands off my hips, but I desperately wanted him to.

  “Ry,” I whispered. “I need you to touch me.” God, how I needed him to touch me.

  “Not yet, Jen. Keep going. I want to watch you, babe.” He lifted his hips again and hit my hand that was on my clit. I moaned and started grinding myself against him harder. The hand on my breast was pulling and tugging at my nipple. “That’s it, baby. Just feel me. I want inside you, Jen, but you have to come for me first….show me how you make yourself come.”

  That was all I needed. I exploded, screaming out Rylan’s name and before my climax was over, Rylan flipped me over, grabbed my breast and devoured my mouth with his, swallowing my continued screams. His hands were roaming my body, touching my sensitive breasts and diving into my pants to slip his fingers into my wetness. “Oh my God, Jen.”

  “Ry….”

  “I need this.” He moved his fingers inside me. “This is mine, Jen, and I need to be inside you, baby.” He lifted his hips off enough for me to push my pants down. He removed his fingers and leaned back to finish slipping them off me. I lay there completely naked, watching him as he stood staring at my body while he took off his own clothes.

  He made a slow crawl up my body, kissing my thighs and stomach before covering one of my breasts with his mouth. I arched into him and gripped my fingers in his hair. “That feels so good, Ry.”

  I felt him smile against me. “You taste amazing.” I laughed a little and he nipped me with his teeth right on my nipple. I gasped at the feeling because it sent fire straight down between my thighs. “That feel good?”

  “Hmm…”

  “Uh huh, I can tell. You’re pushing your hips up to me.” I didn’t even realize I was doing that.