Loving Her

by Hutton, CM

  Her voice was calm, almost too calm. I didn’t know what she was going to do or say next. “Thank you for telling me, Rylan. I know it was hard for you and I hate to see the pain in your eyes.”

  I didn’t have a good feeling about where the conversation was leading. I pulled her close to me and held her tight. After a bit, she tried to move off me and stand. I felt panicked. “Jen?”

  She turned to look at me. “Yeah?”

  “Where are you going?”

  She winced as she turned. “I just need a minute.” She left the room and walked into the living room. I waited for a few minutes then went to look for her. She wasn’t getting away that easily.

  When I found her, she was curled up on the couch just staring at the wall. I knelt in front of her. “Jen, baby…talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  I saw the tears when she looked up at me. “I don’t think I can do it, Ry. I can’t walk away from you, baby. I know your heart still belongs to Kristen, but I can’t walk away from you.”

  I wrapped my arms around my beautiful girl. “Oh, baby! I’m so glad to hear that you want me too. Yes, a part of my heart will always belong to her, but I can love you too….and I do…so very much. I want to have a life with you, Jen. You make me feel alive, baby. Stay with me, always…keep showing me how to smile.”

  She leaned into me and kissed me through her tears. “I love you too, Ry. My heart aches with how much I need you in my life.”

  “I know, baby. I feel the same way. Forgive me for staying away these last weeks. I needed to make sure…I needed to make sure I loved you for you. Jen, I am the man I want to be…the man I’m supposed to be when I’m with you. I’m not a great man and I’ll make mistakes, but I will love you the way you deserve to be loved if you give me a chance.”

  Jen was staring into my eyes and soaking in my words. She stroked her hands along my cheeks and said, “Rylan, I would never ask you to stop loving Kristen. Never. She is a part of you and made you into this man kneeling in front of me. If you help me…give me some time, I can learn to love her too. You don’t have to ever stop loving her to love me.”

  I stared at my girl, shocked and so full of love. I couldn’t believe the depth of love she had in her. I couldn’t help but to let my tears fall again. She leaned into me, kissed my wet cheeks and said, “I love you, Rylan Daniels” and I knew I was home.

  The End

  Epilogue

  Eight Glorious Months Later….

  “Em, you have to stop crying! Between you and Mia, I’m never going to make it through today. Please, for the love of God girl, pull it together!” My best friend was going to drive me fucking crazy.

  “I know,” she sniffed. “Okay. I can totally do this!” Yeah, right!

  I held Emily’s hands and looked straight at her and said, “I love you. Now, let’s go do this thing, okay?”

  Mia grabbed us both into a huge group hug and we all laughed. She was teary too. I just shook my head at her and smiled.

  The three of us walked out of the bridal suite and down the hall, stopping just outside the huge double wooden doors. The girls flanked me and squeezed my hands, then kissed my cheeks and walked one by one down the aisle as Cale stepped up next to me.

  “Ready, baby girl?” He whispered into my ear.

  “More than you know, Cale.” I smiled a huge smile and peaked down to where my beautiful man was standing, waiting for me.

  What they didn’t know was that this was all for them. Rylan and I were already married.

  ********

  Six Month Dating Anniversary…(rewind)

  “Ry, where the hell are we going?” I sat blindfolded in his car as he drove us somewhere. It had been six months since our tearful ‘coming together’ and we were incredibly happy and moving forward with our lives. I repeatedly asked him questions about his life before me; especially about Kristen. It was painful sometimes, but she wasn’t my enemy in any way. What I felt for her was empathy and love. I understood what she felt for our Rylan. It was like we were a team taking care of him. I even made a few trips to the cemetery to just to talk to her. Crazy, I know, but it always helped. I needed to love her too. Rylan needed me to love her in order to accept all of him and that is what I wanted to do. I could see myself in her and couldn’t imagine having to say good-bye to my beautiful man knowing I was leaving him behind all alone.

  We were making our way. I asked him to go to therapy with me and he willingly went. And, I could see the walls slowly fall down around him. It was the only way for us to move forward. He needed to heal and so did I.

  “Shh. You don’t get to ask questions.” Rylan was quite the dominant man when he wanted to be.

  “Rylan Daniels! Where the hell are we going?” I tried, but all I heard was a gruff laugh.

  “Please, woman!” Mmm….sexy! “Let me do this, okay?” His voice softened as he gently stroked his hand up and down my leg.

  “Okay.” He had me and he knew it.

  We drove in silence, except for the soft music playing on the radio. Yeah, I could have taken the blindfold off, but I had to admit…it was sexy as hell and I was curious to see what he had planned.

  After several minutes and lots of turns, Ry stopped the car, put it in park and sat quietly. “Um, Ry baby, now what?”

  He pulled my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Keep the blind fold on for a few more minutes, okay? Let me lead the way.”

  God, he was killing me! “Okay.”

  As I was led out of the car, I heard whispering, the smell of fuel, asphalt and jet engines. Airport!

  I smiled and said, “Airport.” Rylan leaned against me and kissed my lips.

  “Cheater.” I could feel his smile as he kissed me.

  “Not me?!?!” I laughed.

  He reached up and took off my blindfold and I saw we were standing on the tarmac next to his company plane. “Ry?”

  He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me close to him. “I wanted to take you somewhere special, baby.”

  I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled him to me so I could devour his mouth.

  I took off running toward the plane while he was distracted by my kiss. “Hey, that’s cheating!” He yelled.

  We raced to board the plane like two crazed teenagers rushing for first car on a rollercoaster. I thought I was going to have to fight him for ‘first dibs’ through the door of the plane. Bastard.

  We fell into the plane, laughing and the attendant looked at us like we were nuts. Truth be told, I did everything in my power to force Rylan to just have fun and ‘live’ even if it made us look like fools.

  We settled into the flight, curled up in each other, and I wondered what he had up his sleeve.

  The feeling of the plane descending woke me from my post sex sleep and I nudged Rylan to let him know something was happening. He just smiled and said, “Baby, they will let me know when we get to our destination….trust me.”

  I snuggled against him and asked, “Where are we going?” I hoped in his groggy state he would spill it.

  “Oh, no! You’ll never get it out of me.” Jackass.

  I drifted off, wrapped in the most glorious warmth in the world.

  The next time I woke up, Rylan was completely dressed and smiling down at my naked body. “Wake up, beautiful girl. We’re here.”

  I jumped up, ran to the bathroom and dressed as quickly as I could. Rylan just smirked at me as I scrambled around.

  “Ry? Where are we?”

  “Come on, baby. I’ll show you.” My man was pretty incredible.

  As soon as I stepped out of the plane I knew where we were…..Fiji! I gasped and Ry stepped up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I wanted this place to hold good memories for us, baby.” He gently turned me to face him and saw the tears streaming down my face.

  “I love you, Jen. We’re here together this time, babe, and we’re going to make amazing new memories.” He leaned his forehead against mine and softly kissed my
lips.

  “Ry, I love you so much. Thank you for bringing us here.”

  We barely made it to our room fully clothed. Rylan couldn’t have brought us to a better place to completely heal the both of us.

  We spent a week in paradise just loving each other.

  Our last day in Fiji…..

  She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. She laid on the chair in her bikini, just soaking up the sun on our private little beach. I’d slipped out early to take care of last minute things; I wanted this day to be as perfect as I had planned in my head. Thankfully, she didn’t question me. She thought I was going out for a run.

  The moment she told me she loved me, I knew I’d found my other half. It had been a rough start for us, but in time, we knew we belonged solely to each other and now I was going to make sure it always stayed that way.

  When I planned our Fiji trip, it was all about healing the past and making it beautiful for the both of us. It took some money and a lot of secret phone calls, but this island was about to be a lot more for Jen and me.

  “Morning, baby.” I kissed my girl with everything in me and ran my hand under her sexy little top. I couldn’t help myself. Then, I slipped into position, kneeling by her chair. She gasped at the loss of our connection.

  I took her face in my hands and said, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” She just looked at me, her brows furrowed with curiosity. “I love you, Jennifer Marie Bailey! I love you with my entire being. You gave me back my life the moment I saw your sexy body sitting at that table with me. And, you awakened my soul the moment you looked at me with your beautiful eyes. Marry me, baby. I’m yours forever. Say you’ll be mine. Marry me.”

  She sat still for a few seconds, staring into my eyes and then, she threw herself at me, knocking us backwards on the sand and said, “Yes, baby….I’ll be yours…I’ll marry you, Ry! Oh my God, I love you so much, baby!” She was sobbing into my neck as we laid there together on the beach.

  I let out a huge sigh and she looked up and let out a small laugh. “Are you okay?” We said it at the exact same time and it made us both laugh. We understood all the significance of the moment and that it wasn’t just about us getting married. It was so much more. I flipped us over so that I was laying on top of her and softly started smothering her face and mouth with kisses as she did the same to me.

  When we slowed and came up for air, I showed her the ring. “Oh my God, Rylan. What the hell?!?!” Yep, I figured she didn’t think there was even a ring, let alone one the size I’d bought three weeks before our trip.

  “Baby, I’ve thought about this for weeks. I knew you were going to be my wife.” I smirked and she smacked my arm.

  “Oh yeah, Sexy Britches?” I loved it when she called me that….as corny as it was.

  I cupped her face and said, “Yep!” I pulled her closer until our noses were touching. “I meant it when I said you brought me back to life, baby.”

  Jen slowly closed her eyes and I could feel her lips start to tremble. “Ry, I love you so much, baby. I’m yours…forever.”

  “I love you, too. Forever.”

  We married on the beach that very night. I’d planned it all right down to the jewelry she wore with her gorgeous Vera Wang wedding dress. She was completely stunned at how much I had done to make our night happen. Truthfully, I was a nervous wreck about everything, but when I saw Jen’s beautiful face glowing with love and excitement, I knew it had been worth every minute of anxiety.

  We decided to let the ceremony in Fiji be our secret. It was a part of our healing and incredibly private to us. But, we agreed to plan another wedding for all our family and friends when we got home.

  So, when I saw my girl walking down the aisle toward me, I was relaxed and calm. She was already mine. This was for everyone else.

  Jen…two months after Fiji (At our ‘second’ wedding”)

  I saw his face as I was walking toward my husband. We both had the whole ‘cat that ate the canary’ look, but no one noticed.

  Rylan winked at me when I got close to him and I nearly started laughing. This was a game for us…just us and I loved it.

  After all the ‘I do’s’ and junk, we all made our way to the reception and had a blast with all the people closest to us.

  When it was time for our dance, Ry whispered, “Funny how all these people are carrying on about us and they don’t have a clue.” I laughed thinking the same thing about him.

  “I know, babe. Can we leave soon? I need to get naked with my sexy husband.” And, I had a little surprise of my own for Mr. Rylan Daniels.

  Ry pulled back to look at my face. “Um, hell yeah!” He stared at me for a few seconds then said, “You okay? You look a little pale, babe.”

  “Yes. Just tired.” I settled my face into his neck, grinning. I whispered, “Let’s go home, baby.”

  Rylan grabbed me by the hand and started pulling me through the crowded dance floor.

  “I’m on it! Don’t you worry!” He was so freakin’ cute!

  After all the hugs and good-bye kisses, we left, leaving Em and Cale is charge of shutting the place down. The party was still in full force when we climbed into the limo and drove away.

  I snuggled up to Rylan feeling so happy and complete. I was excited to tell him what I had learned earlier in the week. I thought it would make the perfect ‘wedding’ present.

  We had moved into Rylan’s house after we got home from Fiji and sold my condo. I loved the house and had started to add all my own little female touches to it.

  Pulling into the drive, Rylan stirred a bit to see if I was awake. I leaned up and smiled, “Home?”

  “Yeah, baby. We’re home.” His eyes were full of absolute peace and I just melted.

  Rylan carried me over the threshold, for the second time, making us laugh. “We’re double married now, so you’ll never be able to get rid of me.”

  I kissed him and said, “Same goes for you, babe.”

  When we were in our bedroom, I made a slow production of removing my wedding dress as Rylan watched me from our bed. I crawled up to him and stopped just before reaching his face.

  “Uh, a little further baby. I need a kiss.” He was just adorable.

  “Oh, you’ll get a kiss….but first, I have a wedding present for you.” I couldn’t stand not telling him.

  “Present? We’ve already done all the presents, babe. You told me not to get you anymore.” He looked sad and nervous.

  “Well, this one came as a bit of a surprise to me too.” He was totally confused.

  I reached around him and under my pillow, pulling out the grainy black and white picture. I sat up, straddling him, still wearing my sexy white lace bra and panties. I looked down at my tummy and could see what, only a few weeks ago, I thought was a little pudge from not working out much since my surgeries.

  I put the picture in front of him and sat still waiting for his brain to compute what it was seeing.

  It only took a few seconds. He sat up straight, grabbing me around the waist with one hand and snatching the picture out of my hand with the other, as he let out a loud gasp.

  “Jen, baby, please tell me this is what I think it is?” Rylan’s voice was dripping with emotion.

  “Yes, Ry. We’re having a baby.” I started crying.

  He looked at me, then back at the picture. “A baby….” His eyes filled with tears. He laid the picture down and kissed the tears falling down my cheeks. “A baby.”

  We just held each other for several minutes while the emotions consumed us. “Tell me, baby.”

  I knew he wanted to hear the story of how I found out.

  “I just found out on Monday. You know, I hadn’t had a period for months with all the medication and surgery stuff. So, when I went for my yearly checkup on Monday, my OBGYN asked if I could be pregnant. I didn’t think so, but he decided to check anyway.” I paused and felt the tears well up again. “I’m already three months pregnant, Ry.”

  “What? Is that wh
y I can see my baby so clearly in that picture?” He said ‘my baby’ making me come unglued and throw my hands around his neck and sob.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? You’re happy about this aren’t you? I know I am.” My husband was so sweet. He pushed me back so he could see my face.

  “Yes,” I cried. “I’m just overwhelmed. I mean, I knew I had gained a few pounds and even noticed my pants were a little tight, but it never crossed my mind that a baby…our baby…was causing it.” His face lit up.

  “Oh, babe! I love you so much. You’re beautiful and I’m so incredibly happy.” He placed his hand on my tummy and sighed. “My baby….”

  Rylan gently laid me on my back and curled up next to me, laying his head on my chest and his hand back over my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair and laid there with my handsome husband, letting him soak it all in.

  Looking up at me, Ry said, “Best wedding present ever, babe!” I chuckled and watched the huge grin cross his face.

  We made love for hours that night, reeling in the beautiful life that God had laid out for us. We were incredibly blessed and would never take it for granted.

  The End….again!

  About the Author

  I’m a wife, a mom of three, a friend, an aunt, a sister, a daughter and a teacher. Now, I can add writer to my list! I’ve always wanted to write and finally found inspiration and support to do it.

  I live near Austin, Texas with my family and love to read and travel. Put me on a beach with a good book and the world just disappears around me!

  This is my second book. Paradise Taken was my first attempt at a novel and its sequel will be out early 2014. I hope you enjoy them all.

  Thanks for reading! Feel free to find me and chat it up!!

  Cristy

  https://www.facebook.com/cm.hutton.5

  http://www.cmhutton.com

  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7153606.C_M_Hutton