“Your fear. Your pain. All of it.” His deep voice was especially husky and he cleared his throat as though to throw off whatever spell he was under. “I need limits, Minnow.”
“You have limits. You like to hurt me, but you won’t harm me or kill me. Even in the heat of the moment, you wouldn’t.”
He nodded, but she got the impression he didn’t believe it the way she did.
“Do you forget you love me sometimes, Mister Leduc?”
“Never.” The word held a gravity of feeling that warmed her more than a fancy poem would from another man.
Joy spread through her. Their faces were so close together now his every exhalation stirred her hair. The dispassionate mask he often wore was gone, and she could clearly see his feelings for her. No one had ever loved her like he loved her, even though he had a hard time expressing it. She didn’t need pretty words when she got to see it in his eyes.
When couples said it too easily it made her think of the moaning in porn – meaningless noise. Maybe she had to guess what Severin was thinking a good part of the time, but the emotions he did let her see were raw and real.
She leaned closer and licked the well of blood from his lip where he’d cut himself. It was a strange feeling – as if it made them closer somehow, even though he’d come down her throat so often it shouldn’t have felt like a big deal. He kissed her, slowly, tenderly, this man who was big enough to snap her in two, and yet seemed to spend a lot of time trying to protect her from himself.
He held her and stroked her, for a long, long time. While she was still drifting and euphoric, he cleaned the cut on her leg and bandaged it, looking after her with the gruff attention that showed what she meant to him.
Later, alone, but still wrapped tight in the echoes of Severin’s affection, the nasty email she got from her mother and the disappearance of her sister’s account almost didn’t hurt.
Chapter Six
Funny how this situation had never bothered Rodrigo before. It was awkward, but nothing new when it came to this kind of trip. As a potential investor, of course he’d be wined and dined – but the women who were part of the benefits package were insistent tonight.
Normally he’d turn them away with a polite refusal, but now Severin’s past echoed in his head. The idea that, as a small boy, Sev had been used to sweeten his mother’s business dealings made him ill. Did these women enjoy their work, or did they have no other options?
One of the young women – a pretty blonde – hung off Weston, his supposedly married, relatively unpleasant and unattractive host. The woman’s acting skills left something to be desired, and she was having a hard time feigning interest. Rodrigo hoped they were being well compensated for their time.
“Don’t be shy, Solis. They’re paid for,” Weston murmured, eyeing the redhead across the table.
Rodrigo shrugged, the motion feeling strangely loose in his drunken state. “Thank you for the offer, but I’m attached.”
“What’s a bit of a party to celebrate a business relationship? What happens here is completely confidential.”
He managed to keep his expression neutral. Why would he want artificial lust and affection when he could have the real thing – would have it as soon as he got home from this trip?
The brunette close to him gave him a come-hither look, and wrapped her plump lips around her straw in not-so-subtle suggestion.
Rather than making the woman interesting, it only made him think of how much he preferred the shyness Minnow still exuded no matter what they did to her. His mind flashed to her little tongue exploring the ridges and piercings of Severin’s dick, and the memory of the first time he’d met her. He’d almost lost control and helped her go down on Severin, even knowing he might have throttled Rodrigo for trying it at the time.
Ro’s cock stiffened in his dress pants, and he forced the idea away.
He turned his glass of whiskey in the ring of condensation it had made, forgetting where he was until the woman was sitting beside him, tracing one of his forearm tattoos.
“I never would have guessed you were hiding these under your dress shirt. You seemed all business before you rolled up your sleeves,” she said softly. She used a much higher voice than was probably natural for her, cutesy, clear and bell like. It set his teeth on edge almost as much as her touching him without permission.
He pulled his arm away. “I’m sorry, Elena, but I’m with someone.” Two someones, actually, but that was too hard to explain to vanillas.
But was he with them?
Yes.
Sort of.
Severin had claimed him, but hadn’t claimed him. He felt as if he was in an unconsummated marriage that could be easily annulled.
He tossed back the rest of his whiskey, and Weston gestured to the server for another round.
Elena was gazing at him, her expression confused, as though she’d never had a man tell her no. “She must be something.”
He nodded. They both were.
“So you’re married?”
“Not yet.” Not ever. The two people he was in love with would be marrying each other. He didn’t begrudge them that, but the stupid flicker of jealousy rose anyway. What they had together was different from what they had with him, he supposed. He would be the perpetual third wheel.
When they started having kids, then what? Would they just call him Uncle Rodrigo? Would he be sleeping in his own room again? Or would they want him to move back to his own house? Would his involvement in their relationship be a secret?
“But you love her that much?”
“I do.”
She raised her perfectly sculpted brows. “Take me to your room and I’ll show you the advantage of spending time with a woman you’d never take home to your family.”
“From what I’ve seen, you’re nothing to be ashamed of, Elena. Any man who would treat you that way isn’t worth your time.”
Her face blanched. She reclaimed her seat on the other side of the table. Maybe his statement had come out wrong.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he excused himself, determined to make the call seem important even if it was a duct cleaning service.
With a polite smile at his host, he moved away from the group and slid the button to accept the call.
“Hello?”
“So, is he trying to get you to fuck some strange woman?” Minnow was making obnoxious kissing noises before he could even reply, which made him wish he could toss the playful girl over his knee and spank her.
“Yes. Two – maybe three. Damn, I should have taken vitamins before I left.”
“Don’t worry. I slipped some into your briefcase.”
“Always taking care of us?”
“Well, you’re old men. You need vitamins so you can keep up with me without hurting yourself.”
“Brat.”
Her evil chuckle made him grin, and he had to turn his back to the room to hide his amusement. “You know it, but what are you going to do about it from way over there?” she challenged.
“You’re so fucking brave, bratting at me long distance, when I can’t spank your naughty ass.”
“By the time you get home from Greece you’ll have forgotten allll about it.”
“Maybe I’ll call Severin and get him to punish you for me.”
“No!” she squealed then laughed breathlessly. There was a thump and a breathy moan at the other end of the phone.
“Is she misbehaving again?” Severin’s low voice rumbled in Rodrigo’s ear, making him shiver.
“Of course.”
“I’ll take care of you in a few minutes, Miss Korsgaard.” The sounds of her soft pleas made him painfully curious about what Severin was doing to her. “So what about you? Are you being a good boy, puppy?”
Fuck.
Heat flooded up his neck to his face.
He’d never let any other man talk to him this way, but over the years Severin had been grooming him to accept it from him. Even so, it was a struggle to shift
gears from being dominant with Min, to having Severin treat him as if he was a cute little toy in the span of a few moments. Submitting to Severin just felt right, and it turned him on, and yet he had to squash the urge to fight Severin’s dominance when he caught him off guard.
Even though he’d never judge another man for being a submissive, sometimes he was ashamed of how much he liked submitting to Severin.
“Um...” He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt collar, grateful he didn’t have a metal collar to hide the way Minnow did, and yet wishing Severin would mark him somehow too.
“I asked you a fucking question, bitch.”
The words made his dick pulse. He could feel the telltale dampness of pre-come soaking into his boxer briefs.
“Yes, Mister Leduc.”
“You and I have things to discuss when you come home.”
“Like?” Hopefully Severin couldn’t hear the quaver in his voice in that one short question. He needed to get the hell out of the bar and go back to his room. Although he’d been hiding his feelings from Severin for years, not reacting to his sexy threats in public was impossible. Somehow things between them had always been this way. Before Severin, Rodrigo never would have guessed he had any submissive tendencies, but after a few months of hanging out he’d had to come to terms with how Sev made him feel.
Heedless of how rude it might be to Weston, he mouthed the word “emergency” to the other man and strode from the bar, heading for the elevator.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving the country?”
“I did!”
“I don’t recall you asking my permission.”
“I – didn’t know I needed to –” He glanced around as the elevator door closed behind him, leaving him alone. “Sir.”
“Sir?”
He tried again. “Mister Leduc?” Fuck. In his sudden state of anxiety, he realized he wasn’t sure if he was going to faint or spontaneously orgasm.
“Mister? Is that what I am to you?” The question was a snarl.
Rodrigo’s knees felt like water as he unlocked his room and stepped into the darkness, then shut the door behind himself.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
Severin huffed out a breath. “Where are you? At the bar?”
“My room now.”
“Alone?”
“Of course.”
“Kneel.” The order was curt, and it almost felt as if Severin could see him there, alone in the dark.
Rodrigo sank to his knees, feeling stupid for obeying even though Severin was an ocean away.
“I don’t like you being so far away,” Severin said, making Rodrigo’s heart lurch. Maybe it didn’t mean what it sounded like, but Rodrigo was more than willing to delude himself.
“I had to work.”
“From now on you ask permission before you leave town.”
“You’re not my only client!”
Severin growled. “I won’t say no, but I still expect you to ask. When are you coming home?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Good.”
A long silence ensued. Every feeling he had for Severin expanded to soften the space’s unfamiliar gloom. For all he knew, Severin was just distracted by Minnow or the television, but for him the silence between them was pregnant and meaningful.
An awkward sound, like Severin clearing his throat, came through the phone. “If you hadn’t chickened out, I might have let it happen.”
He swayed on his knees. They couldn’t be thinking about the same thing. There was no way.
“What?” he asked hoarsely.
“You heard me.”
No. He wasn’t talking about the same thing Rodrigo was thinking about. He couldn’t be. The invisible knife twisted.
“The last time I gave you a piercing?” he asked hesitantly, feeling like he was walking into a trap.
“Yes.”
Fuck.
But how could he have known? The last time he’d pierced Severin’s cock, it had almost seemed as if he was daring Rodrigo to try something. After it was done, they’d gotten drunk together. A wrestling match had ensued. A kiss had almost happened.
“I thought you were drunk.”
“I was. So were you.”
“I didn’t think you... Fuck.”
“Well...” He sighed. “Maybe I couldn’t have handled it then.”
“You needed Minnow.”
“I did.”
“And you love her.” At one time that knowledge had hurt, but not anymore.
“So do you.” He did. By God, he did. It hadn’t started that way – he’d wanted to hate her, but who could hate someone so full of patience and love?
“Yes.” He gulped, feeling as if he couldn’t get enough air. “Severin, I –”
“Stop,” Severin said shortly.
His gut clenched. Rodrigo wasn’t supposed to declare his feelings. Understood. It was a small price to pay. “Okay.”
Severin’s voice gentled. “Not over the phone like this, when you’re so far away.”
Rodrigo’s eyes burned and his throat felt thick.
“Okay.”
They ended the call, and Rodrigo sprawled in the bed, willing tomorrow to come faster so he could go home – hating how wrong it felt to sleep without Minnow’s head tucked under his chin, and Severin’s hand on him.
*
The forest was peaceful, other than the dogs yipping and crashing through the underbrush. After being home for a few days, the last thing he thought he’d want was alone time, but the dogs needed a walk, and Minnow had a list of phone calls she needed to make regarding the maintenance of the old house. He’d caned her for her impertinence when she’d waved him off, but then he’d let her get to it. She was pouting and lustful when he left her, which was just the way he liked her.
Severin, on the other hand, had gone back to being aloof. Whatever he’d thought had transpired between them over the phone while he was overseas had apparently been his imagination. Severin showing up at his place alone and beating him, then making him kneel to give him a tattoo – that had been the most significant episode of their relationship. Maybe it always would be. Now he felt as if Severin had stopped him from making an ass of himself on the phone, and he was glad he hadn’t said “I love you.” The next time it was said between them, it would be Severin saying it. He wasn’t making that mistake again.
Humiliation trickled through him, making his back straighten with half-remembered pride. Submitting to Severin had been his choice, and yet maybe it had been a mistake.
Fuck. He’d been dominating women for so long, and yet he’d had no idea how vulnerable submitting made a person. Sure, he’d known, but he hadn’t known. Having no idea whether Severin truly wanted or respected him was a bitter mess to swallow, especially since he’d thought he’d finally won him.
Maybe he had, but maybe he hadn’t.
He probably didn’t love him, even a little. This was like those pathetic high school crushes, but worse in a way, because he was a grown man and shouldn’t be so obsessed with someone who’d made it pretty clear he wasn’t a priority.
Or maybe being away, followed by a week of orgasm restriction, was making him cranky.
He groaned aloud. A small bird watched him curiously from a nearby branch. It was probably laughing at him.
“That’s not the sound of a happy man.”
Rodrigo glanced back over his shoulder to find Loïc walking up the path behind him. Ugh. He supposed it would be rude to tell the kid he wanted to be alone.
“The house was quiet when you were gone,” Loïc said. “I’m glad you’re home.”
Home. Like either of them actually lived at Severin’s?
“Maybe we can watch more Walking Dead later? I waited for you to come back. I tried half an episode, but it’s no fun to watch alone, and no one else wants to start over again with me. I feel like I missed an important cultural phenomenon, and I need a guide.”
Rodrigo snorted. “
Yeah, we can watch more tonight, as long as Severin doesn’t have other plans.”
Loïc grunted, sounding more like his brother every day. “Always if he has plans. The rest of us don’t get a say?”
“You do. Minnow and I prefer not having a say when it comes to him.”
“He’s so unreasonable and cold sometimes. I don’t know why you put up with it.”
“Every life has its challenges.”
Loïc inclined his head in agreement. “C’est vrai. I have nothing but spare time, if you need to talk to someone.”
“It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
“Of course.”
He paused so long that for a moment Rodrigo actually thought he’d dropped the subject. He should have known better.
“Your tragic king keeps you both wondering whether he cares about you, and yet he’s the one you both want.” He tutted, as though acknowledging his own silliness. “I should know by now people crave drama more than they crave love.”
“Loving someone who’s been hurt isn’t always easy.”
Loïc’s smile displayed too many dangerous teeth. “Everyone has been hurt.” He gave a short, ugly laugh. “His pain isn’t special, but everyone treats him like he is. He manipulates you.”
“Everyone tries to steer their relationships in the direction they want them to go.” He had more to say, but really didn’t want to discuss Severin with his brother. He kept walking, hoping Loïc would take a hint and go away, but he could hear his feet following the path.
“You know he doesn’t love you,” Loïc said, his voice low and harsh with something that sounded a lot like jealousy. “You weren’t meant to submit to him, Rodrigo. Anyone with eyes can see you’re dominant. I don’t know why you’re even trying – and with him of all people.”
Maybe it was true. He loved the way submitting to Severin made him feel in the moment, but living with all of the questions and the embarrassment during the long intervals between made him feel like a convenient third wheel – something to be used and discarded when the mood struck him. Hopefully Rodrigo had never left his submissives feeling that way.
Eventually they reached the first clearing. Neither of them had said anything for a while. The kid knew how to get under his skin – probably because he looked just enough like Severin for his brain to make the link, but what he offered was completely different.
Tragic King (The Dominant Bastard Duology Book 2) Page 12