As Javier’s arms tightened around her, his big hands gently rubbing her back in a tender motion of comfort, she realized she didn’t want him. She needed him. And that scared the hell out of her. She was a Falke. The only female Falke in a hundred or more years, brought up alongside shifter brothers who’d made her into a rough and tumble woman who didn’t need anyone or anything to survive.
Yet she couldn’t bring herself to let Javier go.
Chapter Ten
Heidi called Beth to let her know she wouldn’t be home to help with dinner, dodging all the “where are you” questions rather effectively, though her sister-in-law was no dummy. Beth knew what she was up to, especially when Heidi asked her to cover again the next day at the clinic. Beth would call if there was anything she couldn’t handle, but her parting shot before hanging up was to tell Heidi not to do anything she wouldn’t.
She’d placed that call almost twelve hours ago. Dawn was just starting to highlight the hills outside the window, and though Heidi wasn’t sure she’d done anything her sister-in-law wouldn’t have done, she’d done a lot that was new to her.
Javier had touched, tasted, licked, suckled every part of her body, and she’d returned the favor with relish. Forget missionary style or even her on top, the only things she’d been familiar with in her otherwise limited sexual experiences. He’d taken her against a wall—God, he was strong—bent over in the shower and from behind while on her knees. That last position had been her favorite.
She’d surprised herself in how willingly she surrendered to his more dominant style of foreplay and sex. Who knew letting go could be so much damn fun?
And just when she was getting used to his wilder nature, he demonstrated his elusive tender side too. She’d awakened to his cock pressed to her pussy as he spooned her and fondled her breasts. When she whispered his name, he’d slid into her and spent the last hour rocking against her, nuzzling her neck, nipping her flesh, whispering how beautiful she was. Her orgasms were numerous. Fast ones, hard ones, slow-burning ones that seemed to last forever.
Heidi rolled over to lay her head against Javier’s chest, their bodies sticky with a sheen of perspiration. He pulled her tightly against him and kissed the top of her head.
“That was a nice way to wake up,” she murmured, wrapping her arm over his stomach and throwing her thigh over his.
“Mmm. Very nice.”
“Are you going back to sleep?”
“No. I am awake. But you go ahead. You must need your rest.”
Tipping her head back so she could see his face, she frowned. “What do you mean by that?”
He smirked. “I should think you would be exhausted.”
With a snort she dropped her head back to his chest. “You think awfully highly of your prowess, don’t you?” Her comment lost all heat when she yawned.
He chuckled. “Rest, chata.”
“I’m awake. Could really use some coffee though.”
Javier sighed. “In a few moments. Let me hold you for now.”
Heidi closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of his strong arm around her, his lips against her forehead and his warm breath ruffling her bangs.
“Do you believe your fathers will ever mate again?”
Heidi’s eyes popped open at the question. “Uh...”
“They still have each other, and they are not very old.”
Old enough that I don’t care to think of them having sex. She shook her head. Pushing up onto her elbow, she said, “My family believes there is only one mate for each pair of shifters. They call it the one. If my mom was their one—which we all believe she was—then no, they will never mate again.”
She’d never even contemplated the thought of her fathers dating again. They’d been with her mother for over thirty-five years. And they’d brought her and her brothers up with the belief in the one.
Axel and Gunnar had felt Dakota was their one the day they met her, and Kelan and Reidar had decided Beth was theirs, even though she had the scientific knowledge to destroy the Falke family and their way of life. Surely it couldn’t be a myth. The emotions were too strong. All four of her mated brothers had talked about it.
“Do you believe there is only one match?” Javier asked.
“You mean for me?”
He nodded.
Yes, and it’s you.
Instead of saying so, she shrugged and pulled away from him. “Axel says mate recognition is instinctual, like animals. I’m just a carrier of the gene. I can’t shift, so I don’t have the animal instinct males do. The one is who they mate with, the woman they want to have as mother of their children.” She glanced into the trash can next to the bed to see several used condoms, and her heart clenched.
“I won’t have any children, so it doesn’t matter who I marry or if I ever do. And it’s not in my nature to search all over creation like my brothers must to find the one compatible person.” She headed toward the bathroom to put space between her and Javier, to hide her pain from the one man on Earth with whom she would gladly mate if given the choice.
But it wasn’t her choice to make. It was his, and he’d apparently made it years earlier...with a woman named Isabela.
Heidi would never mate, never have children. Not without Javier. And Javier was leaving. He’d already shared a life with his one.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower, and then you want to go get some breakfast? I’m starving and seriously need coffee.”
Javier rolled onto his side, propping his head on his hand, and gazed at her. “Yes. Something other than hotel room coffee would be welcome. Is there anywhere that has steak and eggs?”
“I know the perfect spot. But I need to stop at my dads’ for a change of clothes. How about I show you around Leavenworth today...unless you’re ready to leave.”
Javier stretched his injured leg, pointing his toes toward the television on the low dresser across from the bed. “I think I need one more day before I am ready to drive.”
She smiled at him. “Good.”
He threw the covers back. “I will join you.”
“No.” She held her hand up to stop him. “If we both get in here, it’ll be another hour before we eat, and I’m hungry.” Shutting the bathroom door, she locked it for good measure and heard him chuckling.
Her smile faded. One day reprieve...only one more day.
* * *
After a quick stop by her parents’ home, Javier held the door for Heidi to enter a diner called simply Joe’s. The aroma of hot grease and coffee assaulted his senses, and his mouth watered. Several older gentlemen called out to Heidi, and as they made their way to one of the few empty tables, she stopped to give tender hugs, pats on the shoulders, and had a friendly word for each of them, politely introducing Javier along the way.
“Heidi!” A wiry man in his sixties wearing a dirty apron came from behind the counter, and she wrapped him in a hug.
“Hey, Joe. How are you doing?” She kissed his bewhiskered cheek.
Javier slid into a vacant chair at a small table against the wall and watched Heidi’s innocent flirtation with the restaurant’s proprietor—he assumed this was the same Joe. The old man smiled at Heidi, obviously taken with her.
The other men in the room watched Javier, not the byplay between Heidi and Joe. Some openly stared while others took quick glances as they sipped their coffee. Javier nodded respectfully to those who made eye contact. This small town seemed to watch out for its own, and Heidi was clearly a loved member of the community.
A few moments later, Heidi approached the table he’d chosen with a coffee carafe. She grinned at him as she poured him a mug, and then one for herself. “He’s digging out his biggest steak right now. Three eggs to go with it?”
Javier gave a single nod.
A few grum
bles from the men at nearby tables had him looking up when Heidi made the rounds, refilling the patrons’ coffee mugs. He heard, “Just because you’re cute, you get whatever you want,” and he frowned.
Heidi laughed. “I’m having the special just like you, Bill.” She laid her hand on a portly man’s shoulder. “But look at him. You think two eggs and a slice of ham are really going to satisfy him?”
Amid the guffaws, Javier smirked.
Finally, Heidi sat across from him and lifted her coffee mug to her lips. She smiled, and he asked, “What is it about the special?”
“Heidi’s the only person we know that can get something other than the specials to eat here. Joe’s smitten.”
“Joe’s old enough to be my grandfather.” Heidi directed her response to the gentleman who’d commented. “He’s just looking out for me.”
“We’re all old enough to be your grandfather. That don’t mean— Hey! Why’d you kick me?”
Chuckles permeated the diner.
“Burke and Fridrik will knock you senseless if you say anything about their baby girl,” the apparent kicker said.
“How are those old men anyway?” another patron asked.
“Doing well,” she answered with a sparkle of humor in her eyes. “But then you know that. They were down here the other morning.”
Another round of soft laughter.
“She’s a smart one.”
“What do they think of this one?” the man named Bill asked, motioning his coffee cup toward Javier.
“Javier’s just a family friend passing through.” Her smile faded. “I’m going to give him a tour of Leavenworth, show him the sights.”
One of them snorted. “Tourist then.”
“Yep. Just a tourist,” Heidi said, her smile completely gone now. She turned her attention back to her coffee and didn’t look at him at all.
Every time Heidi got quiet, a shadow of sadness descended on her, and Javier had the urge to wrap her in his arms, comfort her concerns and make a promise he couldn’t keep. He lifted his mug and swallowed the acrid, burned liquid. At least it was hot and had the caffeine he needed to kick his brain into gear.
Their conversation the night before about the possibility of her conceiving his child had almost made him cave in to his desires. When he’d asked her about her one, if she believed there was one match as her brothers and fathers did, he’d not only heard her sadness, he’d felt it in his soul. Especially when she’d pulled away and tried to be so nonchalant about the whole discussion.
She’d been beautiful with her nephews, so natural. Imagining her as a mother was easy. Envisioning her with his children made something in his chest warm where for two years there’d only been ice and hate and an unquenchable need for revenge.
His fathers hadn’t instilled the idea of there being only one woman for him and his brother. They’d been taught, though, that they would know their mate when she stepped into their lives. And he had. He’d awoken in the hospital with Isabela leaning over him listening to his heart through her stethoscope. In that instant, he’d mentally claimed her for what he thought would be forever. A long, fulfilled life.
They hadn’t had a long life together, and he no longer had a brother. He was alone, his entire world focused on avenging the murder of his family, his future. No thought of a time after Durchenko’s death had even occurred to him. Once his revenge was exacted, he could crawl into a hole and die, join his family in the afterlife, for all he cared.
Until he met Heidi.
A healer, like Isabela. Strong and independent, which was nothing like his Isabela had been. His mate had needed, craved, his and Juan’s dominance, their protection. Only they’d failed her.
Heidi was the caretaker in her family. Calling to check on her fathers, making sure her sister-in-law would handle preparation of the evening meal. He could see that sweet Heidi had taken on the role of mother to her brothers when their own had died. But who took care of her? Sure, her brothers tried to protect her from dangers, but when was the last time someone asked Heidi what she needed? From the way she shut down when the topic of children arose, he assumed there were topics off limits to her family, subjects too painful for her to face.
She expected to never have children of her own.
Yet there was a possibility he could give her what was obviously a deep desire of hers. A small part of him had even contemplated forgetting to use condoms last night, but the thought of her having children—his children—while he spent the next months, possibly years, tracking Durchenko... He couldn’t do it. He’d wanted to, he could not deny that, but he was selfish too. When Isabela died—and his sons within her—he’d known that was the end of his line. The end of all hope for children from his seed. But now, there was a possibility—a slim one if he chose to believe in the Falke family lore—and his heart ached to take the chance.
He despised the part of himself that contemplated giving up the hunt for Durchenko in order to stay here and spend the rest of his life trying to conceive children with Heidi. It was a betrayal not only to Isabela but also his brother and their sons if he let Durchenko live.
What if Heidi was his one? Isabela had been the mate for him and Juan, but since they were gone, was it possible he’d been given a second chance? Was Heidi his hope for a future?
Heidi made his blood sing. When they touched, the spark was undeniable. Tangible. His emotions tumbled. He craved not only Heidi’s touch, but her soul. Was he experiencing the call to mate as he had once before?
He thought if he had met her under different circumstances, if he was not seeking vengeance, that perhaps he would have recognized her as a mate.
Was it possible for there to be more than one woman for a lone shifter male?
Could he walk away from her, possibly never to return? He might spend the rest of his life hunting that Russian bastard. If that was how long it took, he owed it to his brother and mate. Asking Heidi to wait for him wasn’t fair.
“Here ya go.”
Javier jerked in surprise when Joe dropped a platter of food onto the table in front of him. He hadn’t realized he’d been daydreaming so deeply.
“Thank you. This looks very appetizing.”
“Of course it’s good,” Joe said with a frown. “Talks funny, doesn’t he?”
Heidi laughed. “He’s from Mexico.”
“Pretty big for a Mexican, ain’t he?”
Javier decided to stay out of the debate that sprang up around him, every man in the room seeming to have an opinion on the size of Mexicans.
“It’s the best steak and eggs in town, I swear,” Heidi whispered, picking up her fork and using the edge to cut her slice of ham. “Besides, they’re harmless. My mom and dads used to bring us here every Sunday for breakfast, and I swear every one of these men sat in the same seats then as they do now. Except—” she put a bite in her mouth and chewed quickly, “—back then Joe’s wife ran the counter, and getting something other than ham and eggs for breakfast was easier.”
Javier cut his steak into pieces, then scooped up a forkful of scrambled eggs. “She is gone then?”
Heidi nodded. “A few years ago now. Cancer. He’s never been the same, but he’s got a soft spot for us Falke girls.”
She ate quickly, and he realized she hadn’t been lying earlier when she said she was famished. Sometime during the night, he’d shared a portion of the third sandwich she’d brought him, but she’d put out a lot of energy in the last twelve hours. That made him grin.
“What?”
“But you’re the only Falke girl, right?”
“Beth and Dakota. Once they joined the family, the town took them in as their own. All you have to do is flirt a little and show some sincere concern for his feelings, and Joe’s a total sweetheart.”
“Perhaps all you must do is f
lirt.” He winked.
“Yes, he is partial to us women.”
“Young, beautiful women, I think.”
Heidi’s cheeks turned pink as she dipped her head, smiled and concentrated on the remainder of her meal.
They finished in silence, Javier listening to the conversations around him, intrigued by the patrons. They were elders, and Javier so wanted to talk with them, learn from them. He had lost his fathers when he was young. On their own for so long, he and Juan had learned their lessons the hard way, with no guidance. In the military, he found direction from his superiors, but to sit and talk with, learn from men who had lived so long...
Javier wanted to speak with Heidi’s fathers more. Especially now that his mind was clear of medication and pain. He was curious to learn about the Falke lineage, learn more about what they knew of their shared shifter races.
With the last bite of toast in his mouth, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “How much, do you think?” he asked Heidi, who was just wiping her mouth with her napkin.
“Hey, Joe,” she called, her voice carrying over the other men’s chatter.
“What?” he shouted from the kitchen.
“How much?”
“Ten bucks oughtta do it.”
Javier frowned. He’d just eaten a twelve-ounce T-bone, three eggs, a mountain of hash browns and toast. He dropped a twenty and a five on the table as he stood. “Thank you for breakfast, Joe,” he said when the man stuck his head out of the kitchen. “I much appreciated it.”
“Boy your size sure eats a lot.” Joe shook his head and then smiled at Heidi. “Come back real soon.”
She went to him and gave the old cook a hug. “I will. I’ll get my dads down here next weekend.”
“You see you do.”
It was obvious Joe had a tremendous crush on Heidi. When Heidi kissed his cheek, the little man fairly glowed. She seemed to have that effect on quite a few men, Javier realized, as she made her way through the diner saying her farewells.
“You bring Snooky in next week,” she said to the last elderly man near the door. “It’s time for her booster, and I want to check her arthritis.”
Falke’s Renegade Page 11