by Amy Harmon
“Slade doesn’t mean to spoil her,” Meredith said. “He just tries to keep her busy. And to her credit, Bella is a sweet girl most of the time. It’s not her fault, really, that she goes through nannies like some people go through socks.”
“Oh,” Clarissa said, “then whose fault is it?”
“Some of it is bad luck… bad timing… the nature of help… the nature of children—and, of course, some of it really is Bella’s fault. The way she used to run away from Gwen…” Meredith shook her head. “I didn’t blame her for leaving.”
“She ran away?”
“With only a day’s notice too. Gwen’s next employer called and asked for a reference. I didn’t know what to tell them. I mean, I didn’t blame her for quitting, but really, one needs more than a day’s notice to replace a nanny. Especially a nanny for Bella.”
Clarissa had asked about Bella running away, not the nanny, and wasn’t comforted by this new piece of information.
“I’m sure you’ll do fine with Bella, though,” Meredith said, appraising Clarissa. “You seem like a sturdy individual.”
“I’d, um, like to think so.” Clarissa’s gaze stopped at Bella, who was making her Barbie dive into a plastic pool. Bella’s curls lay against the side of her face, perfectly offset by her golden-brown eyes. She looked cherubic and cuddly—not like the type who could intimidate a slew of nannies.
“Don’t let my grumblings worry you,” Meredith added. “Bella will probably be so busy playing with Elaina she won’t give you any trouble. And you know, when Slade starts work on his next movie, he’ll need a full-time nanny for Bella. If this week works out, the job could turn into a permanent position for you.”
“Full-time?”
“Actors work terrible hours, and when he’s on location, it’s even worse. He can’t take Bella with him then—at least not after the last scenery disaster.” Meredith smiled and shook her head as though she found it amusing.
“Well, I hope Mr. Jacobson thinks I’m capable of the job.”
“I’m sure you’ll do marvelously,” Meredith said, but the look in her eyes said something else. Clarissa wasn’t sure what.
Chapter Four
Slade was standing by his bed, tossing shirts into his suitcase, when Bella walked into the room. She climbed up onto his bed and watched him add a pair of shorts to the pile.
She frowned and slumped against his pillows. “I don’t want you to go.”
He folded a pair of jeans and put them in the suitcase. “I won’t be gone long. Only a week. And I’ll call every night.”
“What about Halloween?”
“Clarissa will take you trick-or-treating.”
This answer didn’t seem to satisfy Bella. She continued watching Slade with a frown. “What if you don’t come back?”
“I always come back.”
“Mommy didn’t.”
Slade’s hands froze in midair over the suitcase. He looked at his daughter, at her soft brown eyes, and then he dropped his clothes on the bed and sat next to her. “That’s different, Bella. I’ve explained this before. Mommy left because things changed between her and me. She didn’t think it was a good idea to live here anymore, but I love you and that will never change.”
His explanation hadn’t been enough. Bella’s eyes filled with tears.
“Not that Mommy doesn’t love you anymore,” he added. “She still does. It’s just that…” He groped for the words to make a four-year-old understand the things he still couldn’t quite comprehend himself. He rubbed his daughter’s back gently. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you come with me to Hawaii?”
Bella’s eyes brightened, and she threw her arms around his neck. He couldn’t have said any more if he had wanted to because she began to sing, “I get to go to Hawaii!” over and over again.
Chapter Five
Clarissa was loading the last of the dishes into the dishwasher when the phone rang. She picked up the receiver, holding it between her shoulder and her ear, so she could pour the soap into the dispenser. “Hello?”
“Mrs. Hancock?” a deep and familiar voice asked.
She hesitated at the name, hesitated because she couldn’t place the voice, then answered, “Yes?”
“This is Slade Jacobson. Listen, there’s been a change in plans that I wanted to talk to you about.”
Clarissa’s heart fell. He didn’t need her after all. He’d changed his mind and hired someone else. She was back where she had started, with no job.
“I wanted to know if you could come to Hawaii for the week and watch Bella when I’m busy there.” He added, “I’ll pay for Elaina’s and your flight and room, of course.”
“Hawaii?” Clarissa asked, because it was the only word her lips could currently utter.
“Bella was having a hard time with me leaving, and I thought it would be better for everyone if I took her along.” He paused. “I realize that your husband might not approve of you going off to Hawaii for a week with me, so if you have to decline I’ll—”
“He won’t mind.” Perhaps she said the words too quickly, because Slade didn’t reply for a moment. She should have added some explanation, such as “because he trusts me,” but she couldn’t bring herself to deepen the lie. She let the words stand and waited for his reply.
“Well,” Slade said lightly, “that goes to show you what In Step magazine knows. It said most husbands wouldn’t allow their wives within ten feet of me, but you… your husband doesn’t mind you going off for a week with me.”
“Only because it’s business. I mean…”
She could tell from the tone of his voice he was smiling. “No, don’t explain. My ego will recover eventually. I’m just making sure I’m not creating any problems before I buy your plane tickets.”
“Yes,” she said.
“Yes to the problems or the plane tickets?”
“The tickets. Not the problems. There are absolutely no problems where my husband is concerned.”
“Really? A husband with no problems? Count yourself lucky, Mrs. Hancock.”
“Yes, I’m very lucky.” Again she said the words too quickly. They seemed forced even to her ear.
He didn’t question her about it. “All right. Be here at eleven-thirty Thursday morning with your bags packed.”
“Eleven-thirty. Right. Thank you. I’ll see you then.” She vaguely remembered saying good-bye before she hung up. It was hard to think of phone etiquette when she’d just learned she was going to Hawaii.
How wonderful. How symbolic. She’d gotten a divorce and was now on her way to paradise. What could be better?
It wasn’t until later that the full implications hit her. First, she’d just learned Slade’s four-year-old daughter had the ability to rearrange her father’s schedule by getting upset. That didn’t bode well for Clarissa’s future as a disciplinarian in this child’s life. If Slade was willing to pay for flights and a room to keep Bella from being cross, how long would he keep a nanny who upset her?
Second, it was one thing to tell a man you were married if you weren’t going to see him again for a week. But now he, Clarissa, Bella, and Elaina would be together off and on for the entire job.
Elaina was not even four yet. She didn’t fully grasp the concept of keeping secrets. Without much prodding she would probably let the cat, her kittens, and an entire assortment of farm animals out of the bag. How would Slade react if he found out Clarissa was lying to him?
These thoughts continued to press in on her during the evening, and by the time she went to bed, Hawaii didn’t seem nearly the paradise she had first imagined it to be.
Chapter Six
It wasn’t until Slade lay in the darkness of his bedroom that he realized he’d made a mistake in hiring the new nanny. He had felt uneasy about it ever since his phone call, but he hadn’t been able to put his finger on what was bothering him. Now he knew.
She was too pretty.
Of course he had noticed this before. He’d noticed it the first time she lo
oked up at him from beside the couch. But he didn’t hold it against her then. After all, just because she was pretty didn’t mean she wasn’t also competent. Looks didn’t matter in a nanny position. Clarissa Hancock was an experienced mother who was working on a degree in family science and, judging from her interview, was the type of person who could roll with the punches—all necessary qualifications in a caretaker for Bella.
So he hadn’t held it against Clarissa that she had eyes like an angel and legs that made a man feel, well, less than angelic. He was, after all, open-minded where beautiful women were concerned.
The press wouldn’t be nearly as lenient in their views. If some of the media people covering the Undercover Agents shoot happened to see him check into the resort with Clarissa at his side, the quality of childcare she provided would be the last thing they’d consider. Rumors would fly. The tabloids would pounce on any hint of a story. Would Clarissa’s problem-free husband be so understanding then?
Slade tossed from one side of his bed to the other in an attempt to get more comfortable. He should have gone with that McGrath woman. She looked like someone who could play Mrs. Claus at the mall. No one would make anything of seeing the two of them together.
Of course, it was too late to change his mind now. He’d already offered the job to Clarissa, so he’d have to make the best of it. They would be discreet. They would check in at the resort late, after the media people had left the cast alone. He’d make sure he never stood too close to Clarissa. And a child would be between them at all times. Better yet, he’d invite Meredith to come along on the trip with them. She hadn’t taken a vacation in a while. She deserved a trip to Hawaii. And besides, that way he could make sure a child and Meredith stood between him and Clarissa at all times.
Slade stretched out his legs and felt a little better. Everything in Hollywood took jimmying and gerrymandering, and this was just one more thing to work around in order to sell his script.
Chapter Seven
The next day Clarissa ran around collecting everything she needed for the trip. She took her old blue swimsuit from a drawer and held it up to herself. She imagined lying on the beach wearing it, then grimaced. Swimsuits were never a pleasant consideration, and the thought of wearing one in front of Slade Jacobson was doubly unwelcome. He had probably never seen a woman in a swimsuit who hadn’t had a skilled team of professionals create her for the occasion.
Perhaps if she got a new suit and a tan and… she touched a strand of her shoulder-length blonde hair. Well, it was almost blonde. It had been blonde when she was younger. Now it seemed determined to turn light brown. Perhaps she could highlight it.
Clarissa considered the swimsuit, then threw it into her suitcase. It was ridiculous to spend a lot of money to go on this trip. She was supposed to be earning money. And why try to impress her boss, anyway? He thought she was married. A housewife. The dowdier she appeared, the better.
The phone rang, and she answered it while searching through her closet for her sandals.
“Clarissa?”
Clarissa recognized the voice and chided herself for not checking the caller ID before she answered. “Hi Renea.”
“I’m so glad I finally caught you,” Clarissa’s ex-sister-in-law spoke in her usual melodic manner, like she was excited about everything she said. “I’ve wanted to talk to you for ages.”
“Oh? What have you been up to?”
“Therapy. And I feel absolutely wonderful.”
Clarissa didn’t ask for what. It didn’t matter, and it was all the same anyway. Renea had gone through every pop psychology fad, spa treatment, and herbal remedy in existence. She wasn’t a person who tried to solve her problems—she celebrated them.
Clarissa shifted the phone to her ear so she could better reach the back of her closet. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“During my last session with Dr. Blumen, I told him about you and Alex, and it suddenly occurred to me that the two of you need to come in and see him.”
Clarissa momentarily stopped rummaging through shoes. She examined a pair of worn tennis shoes, then threw them into the suitcase. “It’s a little late for that.”
“It’s never too late to recover.”
“Alex and I are divorced, Renea. There’s nothing left to recover.”
“You see, you’re in the first stage of grief: denial.”
Clarissa kept her voice pleasant. “It’s nice you’re concerned about us, but I think it’s best if we both get on with our lives.”
“Denial, denial, denial.”
“It isn’t denial. It’s a statement of fact. We’re divorced.”
“If you’d come to therapy, you’d learn you can change, Clarissa.”
“I can change?”
“It isn’t too late to fix things with Alex.”
Clarissa took a deep breath, her resolve to be pleasant quickly evaporating. “Listen, as much as I’d love to sit and chat with you, I’m packing for a trip to Hawaii with Slade Jacobson, so I’m pressed for time.”
For a moment nothing but silence came across the phone, and then Renea said, “This is so sad, Clarissa. Now you’ve moved on to the next stage of grief: delusion.”
“I’ve got to go, Renea.” Clarissa didn’t wait to hear more. She hung up the phone and went back to packing.
* * *
The flight to Hawaii was uneventful. Well, as uneventful as five-and-a-half hours on a plane with two young children could be. Although Clarissa tried her best to entertain the girls, Bella and Elaina went through eighteen storybooks, four sticker books, a paper doll community, an entire bag of potato chips, and the patience of at least three adults and two cabin attendants before the plane touched down in Honolulu.
After retrieving their luggage, the group took a limo to an upscale Chinese restaurant for dinner. While they waited for their food, Bella taught Elaina the joy of knock-knock jokes. Neither of the girls understood the concept of a punch line, but they still laughed uproariously at the end of each joke, and sometimes in the middle too.
Everyone was tired when they finally got back into the limo and headed to Oahu’s north shore. Slade seemed especially tense. None of the charm, none of the gentleness he’d shown when they had sat on his dining room floor discussing parenting surrounded him now. He was distant and aloof. He hardly said anything to Clarissa, and when he did speak, he seemed irritable.
Actors, Clarissa supposed, thought they had a right to be moody. The limo left Honolulu behind and drove along a two-lane road that hugged the jutting hills of Oahu. In the darkness she caught glimpses of the foliage they passed, and she strained to see it better.
Earlier, as they had driven from the airport, she noticed a lot of the plants in Honolulu were identical to those in California: palm trees, bougainvillea, lantana, and thomberi trees. But somehow this island foliage seemed more exotic. These trees and bushes were bigger and lusher, as if they knew they belonged in Hawaii. Those same plants in California were just sadly making do because they’d been planted there.
Clarissa suddenly wished she had job skills that could be used anywhere. Like a doctor… or professor. If she had stayed in school instead of getting pregnant, she could be here on her way to teach school instead of being somebody’s nanny.
Then Clarissa looked over at Elaina, and those thoughts vanished. Her little girl was whispering instructions to her stuffed dachshund. “You’ve got to be a good dog in Y-ee or no ice cream.”
How could Clarissa regret staying home to raise Elaina? She treasured every moment they’d spent together.
The limo pulled off the main road and onto another. Clarissa saw the lights of a large building glowing off in the distance and knew they would soon be pulling up to the resort. She ran her hand across Elaina’s shiny blonde hair. “We’re almost there.”
Slade said something sharply under his breath, then Bella said loudly, “Daddy, we don’t say bad words. It’s rule number twelve, remember?”
“I know. I’
m sorry, Bella.”
Clarissa looked over at Slade to see what had angered him. He stared out the window at the now-imminent resort.
“The press,” he said. “They have vans all over the parking lot.” He shook his head. “Undercover Agents must have some publicity thing going on, and we’re walking right into it.”
Meredith slipped the book she’d been reading into her carry-on bag. “You’ll find a way to handle it.”
“I thought actors liked publicity,” Clarissa said.
“Sure,” Slade muttered. “You like it when you’re working on a project, but not when you’re checking into a hotel with…” He waved a hand toward Clarissa.
“Small children?” she asked.
“A beautiful woman,” he said and didn’t sound pleased.
Clarissa stared at him. “You don’t mean me, do you?”
“Well, I don’t think he’s referring to me,” Meredith said with exaggerated offense.
Slade turned away from the window. “Stop fishing for compliments, Meredith. You’re an attractive woman, but not one the press will think I’m having an affair with. Clarissa…”
The limo was nearly to the front of the resort, and the driver looked back at them. “Where do you want me to let you off?”
Slade hesitated, then said, “Drive around to the back of the parking lot until we figure something out.”
The car moved smoothly in that direction.
Clarissa looked from the building back to Slade. “Can’t you just explain that I’m the nanny?”
“Mrs. Hancock,” Slade said slowly, “you’re either naive, or you’ve never paid attention to the tabloids. Facts aren’t a big concern for them.”
Meredith shuffled around a few things in her carry-on bag. “So ignore each other. It’s as simple as that.”
Clarissa picked up her purse from the floor. “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
Bella bounced on her seat and chimed, “What’s an affair, Daddy?”