by Mikayla Lane
Momentarily stunned at his Neanderthal behavior, Maggie lay unceremoniously over his back with a perfect view of his flawless ass and all she wanted to do was bite the hell out of him for embarrassing her like this.
“Put me down.” She gritted out between her clenched teeth, her hands inadvertently clutching his hips to stop her body from swaying. At least, she told herself that was the reason why.
Deciding to save her strength for when he put her down, she lay unmoving as he quickly strode down the hallways until he reached her room. He stopped abruptly, wrapped one arm tightly around the cheeks of her butt and the other opened the door.
In what seemed to her as one fluid motion, he kicked the door open and threw her forward and onto her feet. Her head spun slightly as she held on to his forearms, grateful for his hands on her hips helping her to steady herself. The moment her head stopped spinning, he suddenly let go of her and slammed the door shut.
Sucking in an angry breath, Maggie grabbed hold of the door and stopped short when the knob wouldn’t twist in her hand. She tried again and still the knob wouldn’t turn. Shaking with anger and frustration, she screamed out at the locked door. Balling up her fists she started to pound on the solid metal door.
“Stop that or you will harm yourself. Go lie down and get some rest you are a danger to yourself and your patients if you stay up any longer.”
Tarvok’s calm and rational voice from the other side of the door only seemed to infuriate Maggie more, and she pounded harder on the door, her hands hurting from the effort.
“If you do not stop trying to harm yourself, I will have you medicated to sleep.” Tarvok should have already considered her reaction and brought something with him. He’d think ahead next time and make sure he was prepared. The sound of her hands pounding hard on the door caused him to wince in sympathy at how it must be hurting them on the solid metal.
How dare he threaten to knock her out! Let him open the door to try; Maggie thought as she pounded the door with her fists and now her feet; her anger numbing her mind to some of the pain. So caught up in her anger, she was completely unprepared when the door was flung open abruptly, and she was caught against a hard, unyielding chest pressed tightly against her own and the wall next to the door.
“You are over tired and over reacting. You must calm yourself before you are injured. Shhhh… just relax and breathe for a moment. Just breathe.”
Maggie stood unmoving in his embrace too stunned to speak as Tarvok whispered gently to her as he stroked her hair. The change in him from his caveman tactics just minutes earlier to this kind and gentle man was stunning. Completely different from the cold and indifferent man he’d been towards her since the moment they met.
“You cannot work so hard and then get so upset that you cause harm to yourself. You must take better care of yourself, if you are to help others. You must rest.”
Tarvok was careful to keep his tone quiet and as peaceful as possible not to upset Maggie further; at odds with the anger and confusion coursing through his body like a live wire. He had to get away from her, stop touching her soft skin and the silky strands of her hair. His inner strength warring with his beast to step away from her when he’d finally walked her across the room and laid her on the bed, the covers pulled up to her chin.
He couldn’t resist sitting on the edge next to her and looking into her pretty eyes, smiling at the confused look in them. He felt just as confused as she looked.
“I do not know. I ask that you try to bear with me while I attempt to understand it.” He didn’t feel the need to explain further; she was a very intelligent woman and knew what he meant; which she confirmed when she nodded her head at him.
“It will change now. I can’t accept the way it was before, not now…” Now that I’ve touched you; he finished in his head, unwilling to expose himself that much to her right now. He watched her eyes widen slightly before she nodded her head, a curious yet nervous look on her face.
“You must rest now. We will talk later.” Tarvok couldn’t resist caressing her hair one last time before leaning down and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Ignoring her stunned expression, he stood up and walked out of the door. Somehow she knew he hadn’t locked it this time.
Tarvok leaned against the door to her room and fought down the urge to go back inside and take her into his arms again. He knew the first time he’d seen her that she belonged to him; and he fought it the whole way. Denying it and trying to debunk his feelings for her. He couldn’t fight it any more, or his beast who raged at him daily to claim the gift that was his. The final straw had been carrying her over his shoulder.
He wasn't sure if he’d held the door handle to her room, so she couldn’t get out, or so he couldn’t get in. It had been a moot point though when he thought of her hurting her small hands beating on the door. He hadn’t known what he was going to do at the time, and even if he had, he didn’t think he would have changed it.
The feel of her in his arms was the greatest joy of his life. Her silky skin beneath the rough pads of his fingers had made him feel more alive than he had in years, his own body humming with energy as if in response to hers. He could still feel it; he thought with surprise as he looked down at his hands feeling the tingle of energy. As if a part of her was now a part of him. He hoped if that were true that she also felt a part of him still with her.
Knowing her exhaustion would take hold of her shortly, and she’d fall asleep, he walked slowly back to Amun and Jess contemplating how he needed to switch gears from ignoring the beautiful Maggie, to seduce her. His mind immediately set about formulating a plan to storm her defenses before she had a chance to put up a fight. The warrior in him automatically assuming victory would be inevitable.
Maggie lay in bed fuming. That insufferable jerk thought all he had to do was decide HE thought it was time to play nice, and she was just supposed to play along with his decision like a good girl? If that’s what he thought, then she was going to show him that she wasn’t a knick-knack he could pull off a shelf when he decided he wanted to look at it! The nerve of the man to think that just because he said so she was going to accept things were different now!
After weeks and weeks of being ignored and subjected to his sarcastic comments she was not going to just bow down to his wishes and pretend like he’d hadn’t hurt her feelings all those weeks because he thought it was time to stop!
Maggie tried not to think about how the spot on her forehead still radiated heat from the kiss he’d placed there before he left. Or how his green eyes almost glowed with passion when he’d looked down at her and said things will change now. That smoldering look had melted her insides and made her want nothing more than for him to lower himself to her bed with her. That unfamiliar tingling coursing through her body was wreaking havoc on her senses and her determination to stand firm in her resolve to not make this easy on him.
She fell asleep remembering his soft lips gently pressed to her face.
Chapter Eleven
“Are you sure?” Jess asked with doubt.
“That’s what Jax told me when I went to check on her progress.” Amun said grabbing another spoonful of ice cream from the container Jess was holding in her lap.
“So he finally decided he wants her, and she’s giving him hell. Good for her!” Jess said grinning at Amun as he licked his spoon.
“What do you mean by that? He’s done an excellent job of containing his emotions in order to be certain she was his mate.” Amun gave Jess a surprised look when she snorted at his comment.
“What? He was being a jerk by being mean to her all the time instead of telling her why. At least if he had told her, it would have given her a chance to think about it too instead of making the decision for her when he made up his mind. You really think that’s fair?” Jess asked rather surprised that Amun would defend Tarvok’s behavior towards Maggie.
“I do not agree with the way he spoke to her, but I do agree with the fact that he put her needs ahead
of his own while he determined if she truly was his mate.” Amun thought what Tarvok had done was very honorable. In fact, he thought Tarvok had shown the utmost in restraint not to take Maggie much sooner than he had. If Jess hadn’t been so badly injured he didn’t think he could have held out this long. Even now his beast was clawing at him to kiss the drop of ice cream on her lower lip.
“I can’t believe you can even say that! Don’t you think she should have had a say in how this was supposed to go? What if she didn’t want to wait while he figured it out by himself? What if she doesn’t want him the way, he wants her? Does the woman have no say in this mating thing?” Jess was becoming unreasonably frustrated over Amun’s opinion of Tarvok and Dr. Maggie. She knew this even as she over reacted, but for some reason, she couldn’t seem to stop herself from saying things she knew Amun didn’t mean.
“You know that is not what I meant. Jess, what is wrong?” Amun asked with concern. It was not like Jess to speak in such an accusing fashion.
Frustrated with herself and the fact that Amun had figured out something was wrong so quickly, Jess put the ice cream container on the nightstand and stood up to pace her room. What was the matter with her?
Everything had been fine until Amun had told her about how Dr. Maggie had told Tarvok to go pound sand when he tried to carry her tray in the dining hall and had left him standing there with his mouth open when she walked away. Something about how Maggie had stood up to him had set off her emotions somehow, she just couldn’t figure out what it was. Even so, it made her want to pick a fight with Amun.
Amun sat on the edge of her bed while he watched Jess pace the room wringing her hands in front of her. By the look on her face, he didn’t think she even remembered he was in the room. He ran through the conversations since he’d come into her room and knew that nothing had been said that would cause her distress. This was something that must be bothering her on a deeper level, and this was the outlet.
Unsure of what to do he sat and waited for her to work through it well enough in her mind, so she could talk to him about it. He knew that sooner or later she would; he trusted in the bond that he knew they shared. However, nothing could have prepared him for what she said.
“Are we mates?”
“Yes.” It didn’t even occur to him to lie about it, until he saw the pain flicker across her face. Was she upset about it?
“How long have you known?” She had turned away from him when she asked so he couldn’t see the look on her face, which bothered him.
“Since Cari was rescued.”
“I see. I’m really tired; I think I’d like to go to sleep now. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jess still wouldn’t turn around to look at him, but there was no mistaking the pain in her voice. Whatever was wrong, Amun was not leaving her alone and in pain.
“Jess, what is wrong?” Amun walked up behind her, and as he tried to put his arms around her, she visibly flinched and moved away from him.
“I’m fine Amun, just tired. Could you please leave now?” She did everything she could to stop it, but her voice broke on a sob.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what is wrong.” Amun said roughly as he grabbed Jess and pulled her into a tight hug. The moment his arms wrapped around her, Jess broke into heart-wrenching sobs.
Amun maneuvered them both across the room, and to the bed where he sat down and folded Jess into his lap while he cradled her to his chest. His own heart was breaking over her sobs, but he knew the only way to get her to talk to him was to let her get it out and calm down.
He held her silently until she’d seemed to cry herself out and went limp in his arms. The only sign that she’d not fallen into an exhausted sleep was her hand still clutching the back of his shirt as she held him to her. He waited a few moments more for her to speak and calmingly stroked her hair.
“I understand why you don’t want me. I really do…” Amun never let her finish the sentence.
“What the hell are you talking about? Why would you even think such a thing?” Amun demanded as he held her at arm’s length and stared into her beautiful but sad eyes. When she looked away from him, his beast rose angrily, and he shook her slightly until she looked at him again.
“Don’t you ever say such a thing again. Not to me and certainly not to yourself. Do you understand me?” Amun almost shook from the depth of his emotion. How could she possibly think he didn’t want her? He’d fought to save her life; he’d fought himself to give her time to heal mentally and physically. Now he had to fight her fears.
“Why would you think such a thing? Answer me, Jess.” Amun held her gently in front of him so that she couldn’t move away from him again and hide her emotions. He saw the pain on her face, and his stomach knotted at her sadness.
“Tarvok claimed Maggie… it may have taken him a few weeks, but he did.” Jess looked down at the floor, afraid if she said more the tears would flow again.
Amun stood there confused and tried to figure out what she was trying to say. What did Tarvok and Maggie have to do with him and Jess? Why would it upset her so much that Tarvok claimed Maggie? Was it that he had waited so long? Then it hit him… he didn't claim her officially. He’d just assumed she knew how he felt, and that he was giving her time to heal. He felt like an idiot.
He should have known she wouldn’t understand what he was doing, unless he explained it to her. She had no idea about how love and mating worked with their people. And they knew even less about how mating worked with the hybrid women. She’d have no clue about that either since she’d been away from their people almost her whole life. He should have said or done something sooner. He had to fix this… and quickly.
“Jess… look at me please.” He waited until he knew he had her attention even though she would not look directly into his face.
“Jess, the only reason I didn’t claim you sooner was because I wanted to make sure you were healed. You’d been through so much that I didn’t want you to feel like you traded one captivity for another as a mate. I should have told you how I felt, and how much you mean to me. There is no excuse for that, I know.”
“Jess, I have never loved anything more in my life than you. These last few weeks have been hell for me not to take you and claim you as my own; but I wanted to make sure you were ready, and that you had feelings for me as well. Do you understand Jess? I want you more than anything and would be honored if you would be my mate.”
Amun couldn’t judge her reaction since she still wouldn’t look up at him; however, her continued silence ate at his soul.
“Jess, please say something.”
“Thank you Amun. But you deserve better than a Relian whore for a mate.” Amun was so stunned that it took him a moment to realize she’d run from the room, and he took off out of the door and down the hallway after her. His much larger stride brought him to her quickly, and he scooped her into his arms while she was still at a dead run.
He held her tightly as she fought him half-heartedly, while he headed back to her room; hoping he could calm his anger before they reached the room and shut the door. It didn’t take long for him to realize she was sobbing quietly against his chest, and his heart broke for the pain she must be feeling.
He shut the door to her room and sat on her bed, scooting back until his back was propped against the wall, he settled her gently onto his lap and held her until she stopped shaking, and he knew her sobs had subsided. Then his anger returned.
“Jess, I want you to listen to me very carefully, because I will never say this again. If I ever hear you call yourself that once more I will take you over my knee and spank you until you can’t sit down. Then I’ll heal you.”
“There is NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE who thinks that of you, and I won’t allow you to think of yourself that way. You were a child! And there was no way even as an adult, that you could have done anything to stop them from hurting you. You have never been, nor will you ever be a whore. Relian or otherwise. And you will never refer to yourself as one aga
in. Do you understand me?” By the time he finished speaking he was fighting his beast not to shake her and make her answer him. When several minutes had passed, and she still hadn’t answered him, he did shake her a little.
“Do you understand me?”
“I understand.” Jess whispered quietly against his chest. She wasn’t sure, which had shocked her more, his anger over her calling herself a whore or the fact that he still had wanted to claim her knowing what she was and what had happened to her.
“Jess, listen to me. You have to know that you weren’t responsible for what happened to you. You were a child who had your innocence ripped away from you by much larger and stronger people. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. It wasn’t your fault, and you have to stop thinking that it was. You were a victim, just like all those girls you saved.”
“If it had been Jax, who’d been kidnapped and raped, would you call her a whore? Or True? What about any of the others you helped to escape? No, you wouldn’t.” Her sharp intake of breath and the way she jerked her head up to look at him with anger told him she would never have considered those other girls whores if they’d been raped.
“Jess, you have to stop thinking that way about yourself. You know that it’s not true. Please, Amalaya no more of that word or any word like it. It doesn’t apply to you and never will.”
Amun gently brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and gave Jess a beautiful smile. A part of her knew that he was right, that there was nothing she could have done to stop them from hurting her. However, another part of her still didn’t think she was worthy of the amazing man who was trying to make her feel better.
“Jess, talk to me please. Don’t shut me out like this.”
“I don’t know what to say, Amun. I know that it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t seem to let go of how I feel inside. How dirty and horrible I feel.” Her voice broke on another sob, but she forced herself not to cry this time.