Too Near the Fire

by Lindsay McKenna

  Gil leaned over, caressing her hair. “Go to sleep, honey.”

  Those were the last words she remembered as she sank into the chaotic, emotional abyss of sleep.

  * * *

  Her sleep was punctuated by reoccurring nightmares of the house fire. She felt herself suffocating within the confines of the face mask, clawing wildly at the regulator. Swirling smoke surged around her and Leah heard herself screaming for help. She jerked upright in the bed, sobbing, holding her throat. Her eyes were wide with fear, her breathing irregular and convulsive. It was still daylight, though the rays of the sun were slanting low through the window.

  Gil opened the door and walked quickly to her side. Leah lifted her head, an imploring look written on her taut features. Without a word he sat down and gathered her into his embrace.

  Just the strength of his arms eased the trauma of the nightmare. “Shh, it’s okay,” he soothed. “You’re just having a bad dream, honey.”

  Shutting her eyes tightly, Leah slid her arms around his waist and buried her head against his shoulder, seeking the safety he offered. The heavy, steady beat of his heart sounded like a soothing drum in his broad chest. She was aware of his hand stroking her silken hair, of his fingers gradually trailing down her shoulder and then moving in small circles meant to relax her. Bits and pieces of reality began to filter into Leah’s sleep-drugged mind. She became aware that Gil smelled fresh, as though he had just showered. Somewhere outside the apartment window, a bird sang melodically. Her breathing quieted and she felt herself responding to the touch of his hand upon her back.

  She had almost died today. The thought struck Leah full force for the first time. Her fingers tightened against his back. Another thought struck her: she remembered Gil close to tears earlier, telling her that he loved her. Leah nuzzled his neck and jaw.

  Lifting her head, she stared into his dark, concerned eyes. He cradled her face between his callused hands, tilting it upward to meet his descending mouth. This time she did not pull away. This time Leah reached out, eagerly meeting his strong mouth. The fierceness of his masterful kiss took her breath away.

  “I love you,” he whispered raggedly, kissing each corner of her responsive lips. “You’re mine, you always have been.” His mouth pressed against hers more insistently, forcing her lips to open, allowing entrance of his tongue into the honeyed depths of her.

  A moan of pleasure vibrated in her throat and she pressed shamelessly against him, her breasts growing taut, the nipples like hard pebbles against the wall of his chest. Drugged by his kiss she broke away, her voice husky. “Love me, just love me….”

  His mouth closed upon hers in hungry abandonment, creating a fire storm of longing deep within her body. She had slept in the robe, and her body was naked beneath its folds. The sash was pulled away and she held her breath, waiting, waiting for his hand to touch her trembling body. Her lips parted with anticipation as he slipped his hands beneath the folds of the cloth, his fingers moving up her rib cage toward the fullness of her ripe, straining breasts. A cry of longing bubbled up into her throat as he caressed her, his fingers brushing the hardened nipple tentatively. Her fingers sank deeply into his shoulders when he lowered his head, his searching mouth finding the nipple. Fire shot through her lower body as his mouth moved temptingly upon her breast. He nuzzled first one and then the other, until she felt a scream of need for him building into an uncontrollable frenzy of hunger.

  The robe fell away and she felt the cool air on her heated flesh. It seemed only moments before he had stripped the clothes off his magnificent body. Gil moved her over, lying down beside her to complete what he had started. She searched his impassioned blue eyes, knowing with unbridled joy that she loved him just as fiercely as he loved her. Reaching up, she slid her arms around his massive, corded neck and pulled him down upon her. A groan escaped him as he placed his arm beneath her hips, forcing her against him, making her fully aware of his arousal.

  She arched joyously, her body a perfect fit against his own. He kissed her eyes, nose, mouth, and trailed a series of nipping kisses down the length of her slender neck. She held her breath, anticipating his torturous mouth upon her nipples. Within seconds, his mouth closed over the first one, robbing her of all thought. She slid her hand down his lean torso, across the hard flatness of his stomach, and caressed his thigh and hip. He stiffened against her as she teased him.

  “God, Leah,” he groaned thickly against her ear, his breath hot and moist.

  She pressed the length of her body against him. “Now, please now,” she begged breathlessly. “I need you, I love you….” Then once again she was transported into that world of incredible pleasure he had introduced her to. His fingers trailed down the expanse of her belly and hip, lightly teasing first one thigh and then another. A hungry ache throbbed in her lower body as he gently parted her legs, his hand stroking the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh. She quivered as he caressed her body. A whimper of need rose in her and she felt his knee settle between her legs. Blindly she arched her hips, ready to receive him, needing him. A cry of pleasure reverberated within her as he thrust deeply into her.

  He brought her into rhythm with himself, moving her through heights only they two could reach together. She gripped him, a white-hot explosion erupting within her, leaving her breathless and spent against his rock-hard body. Mindlessly she lay within his arms, completely satiated. Seconds later she heard him groan; his body strained against hers. She reveled joyously in his release, clinging to him, whispering soft words of love against his damp face.

  Gil gently took her into his arms afterward and covered them both with a sheet. Leah lay pressed against his length, aware of their hearts thundering against each other. She rested languidly on his chest, the silken hair tickling her nose. She felt his hand settle on her head and stroke her hair. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she allowed the avalanche of emotion she felt for him overtake her. He touched her face. Finding wetness, he rose up on one arm, placing her protectively beneath his body. He regarded her gravely.

  “Tears?” he demanded huskily. “Did I hurt you, honey?”

  She closed her eyes, loving his concern. “No…no, it was wonderful. You were wonderful. We were wonderful.”

  She felt him chuckle and he leaned down, kissing each eyelid in turn. “Tears of happiness, then?”

  Opening her eyes, she drank in the sight of his strong, handsome face. She had never seen Gil look so relaxed. Dark strands of hair lay damply against his brow and she reached up to brush them back into place. “Yes, I’m very happy,” she admitted softly.

  Gil caught her hand and pressed a lingering kiss on her palm. He became more serious. “A good part of my reaction at the fire was because I loved you, Leah. I thought you knew that. That was why I was so upset when you left the scene and went over to help the paramedics.”

  Her throat constricted with tears. “No—I didn’t. I—oh, I don’t know what I thought,” she admitted. “I’ve never worked a fire where children were involved, Gil. It shook me up more than I realized. When you started yelling at me, I couldn’t understand it. I was so torn up emotionally. I wanted those kids to make it.”

  He caressed her cheek absently, staring across the room in thought. Finally he gazed down at her. “I damn near lost it when Saxon yelled and told me he’d heard your air pak bells go off. The smoke was so bad that we couldn’t get near the windows unless we had air paks on ourselves. Didn’t you hear us screaming at you?”

  She shook her head. “No…I had just found Apache and was in the process of trying to get him and the other child out.”

  “Well,” he said grimly, “I sent in a rescue team with extra air bottles to try and find you.”

  Her eyes widened. “You did?”

  “Yes. About the same time Apache produced the second boy at the window. Saxon yelled that he didn’t hear your bells anymore so we knew you were going down for the count. Things got pretty tense then.”

  Leah shivered within the
warmth of his arms, recalling all too vividly the entire scene. “I felt Apache go, so I knew there were fire fighters there at the window,” she said. “I was blacking out even before I reached the sill. I don’t remember much after that.” Her voice trailed off and she gave Gil a guilty look. Her heart wrenched when she saw the anguish in his face. Leah slid her fingers along the damp curls on his massive chest. “I’m sorry, Gil. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I had a one-track mind at that point.”

  He pressed her hand against his chest. “Smoke was roiling out that opening and I kept low, thrusting my arm inside the window to try and find you. Apache managed to tell us that you were right behind him. If necessary, I would have climbed in after you.”

  Leah realized the foolhardiness of that action. A fire fighter without proper oxygen equipment was as good as dead if he tried to enter a smoke-filled building. “So you were the one who found my hand and jerked me out of there?”

  “Better believe it, lady. Your face was gray and it wasn’t from the smoke, either.” He took a deep breath. “God, Leah, I was never so scared. You were gray from lack of oxygen.”

  She managed a sliver of a smile. “I felt a little gray around the edges.”

  Gil picked up a strand of her hair, moving it slowly between his fingers. “Why didn’t you stay where I left you, honey?”

  “I had to find out about the kids.” Her voice became strained. “I felt personally responsible for them, Gil. Do you understand?”

  He nodded grimly. “All too well. There have been a couple of times when I went over to the hospital after we rescued children just to make sure they were okay.”

  Her heart turned over with love as Leah realized that he was just as deeply concerned about the children as she had been. “I owe you an apology,” she whispered, slowly sitting up. Her hair tumbled across her shoulders in a rich cascade, covering her breasts. She drew up her knees, resting her arms against them. “All along I thought you really didn’t care, Gil. I should have known better but I was emotionally strung out…. I wasn’t in full control of myself.”

  He lightly caressed her arm. “Don’t apologize for that, honey. There isn’t a rookie fire fighter alive that isn’t on the verge of losing control the first, second, or even third time children are involved in a fire. Some fire fighters never get used to it and they take stupid risks, jeopardizing their lives as well as the victims’.” He raised his grave eyes, meeting her gaze. “And right now, you’re in that category.”

  It was true, she conceded. Leah rested her chin on her knees, deep in thought. She felt Gil sit up, felt his arm go around her and draw her back into his embrace. She didn’t resist; she needed the comfort he was offering.

  “Look,” he began heavily, “this has been a rough day. I want to take you home with me, Leah. I want to spend the next two days with you.” His voice vibrated with emotion. “Lady, I love you. I almost lost you. I think we deserve the time with each other. How about it?”

  Leah turned, throwing her arms around his neck. “Oh, Gil,” she whispered against his chest, “take me home. I—I don’t want to be alone right now.”

  He embraced her long and hard. Finally he released her, his gray eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Good. Maybe, if you’re up to it, we’ll go visit the hospital tomorrow and see how those kids are coming along.”

  Her heart exploded with love for him. Without a word she nodded, her green eyes wide and lustrous. Leaning forward, she touched his mouth with her lips. He groaned softly, then pulled her down on the bed, back into his arms. The afternoon sun slanted through the lace curtain, lending the room a golden glow. Leah settled into his embrace, completely content with his nearness.

  Nine

  Leah stretched languidly, awakening to the sound of pots and pans being clattered in the kitchen. Her mind was spongy with sleep as she rolled over on her back. Then she realized that she was at Gil’s farmhouse. Her eyes widened slightly and she looked to her left where he had lain during the night. The sheets were cool to her touch. How long ago had he gotten up? The mouth-watering aroma of bacon frying wafted temptingly into the room.

  A soft smile came to her lips and Leah threw the covers back, then reached for her robe at the end of the bed. Despite her excellent physical condition, every muscle in her body protested. She wrapped the maroon robe around her slender body and tightened the sash.

  Gil was whistling cheerfully when she entered the brightly papered kitchen. Sunlight cascaded through the curtains, spilling across the polished linoleum floor.

  “Well, good morning, sleepyhead,” he greeted, turning and smiling at her.

  Leah had the good grace to blush as she moved over to him. “Don’t even bother telling me what time it is,” she murmured.

  His blue eyes softened with tenderness as he looked down at her. Gently, he drew her into the fold of his arms. “God, you look beautiful,” he whispered, then leaned down and caressed her lips.

  A new warmth began to uncoil within her and she tasted his mouth with delicious slowness. Finally she pulled free, her green eyes sparkling. “Were you going to surprise me with breakfast in bed?” she asked.

  He returned his attention to the bacon, carefully lifting out the fried strips and putting them into a paper-lined basket. “Yes. You were sleeping so well that I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” And then he gave her a wicked look. “I damn near did anyway. You’re not easy to resist.”

  She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the peace that the farmhouse and his presence provided. “At first, I couldn’t sleep because of those nightmares,” she confided, stirring a teaspoon of sugar into her cup.

  “You were restless at first,” he agreed. “Later on you settled down. One egg or two?” He held them up.

  “Two. I’m starved.”

  A gleam came to his cobalt eyes. “You make me starved, too.”

  Leah grinned. “You’re terribly good at hinting, aren’t you?”

  He gave her a wicked smile, but said nothing. He cracked the eggs, then dropped them with professional ease into the skillet.

  A new feeling of happiness swept over Leah as she watched him make breakfast. Outside, a rooster crowed several times and one of the mares whinnied. Gil looked incredibly masculine in his jeans and a red polo shirt. She vividly recalled the sinewy expanse of his broad chest and his strong, tightly muscled legs. Even now his jeans molded his thighs, showing their lean, tapered length to advantage. Her body responded automatically to his male beauty. They had made love yesterday afternoon and the night before. The feelings of those precious hours still lingered in her body and in her mind. She stared at his hands, strong yet gentle.

  Gil turned around, bearing the breakfast on a tray. He proudly presented her a plate filled with eggs, home fries, and toast. “It’s edible,” he assured her, curbing a smile.

  “Is there anything you aren’t good at?” she asked with a smile.

  A twinkle appeared in his eyes. “I don’t know. Is there?”

  His voice was low and suggestive, sending a shiver through her. Pretending to ignore his comment, she buttered the toast. “Are you always this sure of yourself?” she shot back primly.

  Gil laughed, then reached over and touched her flushed cheek. “When I know the lady loves me, I am,” he said huskily.

  Her heart thudded at the sensuality in his tone. Leah closed her eyes momentarily. “Gil…” she began awkwardly, “we have to talk…”

  Squeezing her shoulder, he whispered, “After breakfast and after you’ve gotten dressed. Hurry, or the eggs will get cold.”

  By nine a.m. she was dressed in a pair of apricot-colored slacks and a white short-sleeved blouse. Leah vaguely remembered packing a small overnight bag with Gil’s help the evening before, but not much else. Her exhaustion had been so complete that she recalled very little. Wandering out the back screen door, she saw Gil in the paddock petting the two part-Arabian mares. Halting, she watched as he spoke in quiet tones t
o the attentive animals. Both mares stood near his shoulder, nuzzling him. They were content to be in his presence. Wasn’t she the same way? Gil had that steadying effect on humans and animals. Memory of the traumatic fire came slashing into her reverie.

  With a wave of his hand Gil motioned for her to come and join him. Leah walked at a slow pace. She approached the white-painted fence and leaned over the top rail.

  “You all right?” he asked, giving one mare a final pat before slipping between the rails to join her.

  “Yes and no,” she admitted.

  “Listen,” he said, placing his arm against the post closest to her, “you’ll remember this fire for a while, honey. Fire fighting is the only profession besides police work that can give you wartime nightmares and daytime flashbacks,” he said grimly. “Tell me what you’re feeling inside.”

  He put his arm around her, drawing her close. Gratefully, Leah rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder as he guided them through the small fruit orchard on the other side of the corral.

  “I’m afraid,” she confided. “And I don’t know whether it’s because I almost suffocated or because I almost wasn’t able to save the children.”

  His mouth drew in at the corners and he nodded grimly. “You’ve received a one-two shot, Leah. Not only did you run out of air, but other lives were at stake besides your own. I can remember the first time I ran out of air and how scared I was when it happened. Fortunately my partner was a seasoned veteran and he saved my life.”

  She gazed up at him, unable to imagine him almost dying. Gil was so vital and strong. “How did it happen?” she wanted to know.

  Gil stopped under the bough of an apple tree. The fragrant smell of ripening apples surrounded them like a perfume. Bees buzzed lazily through the warm morning air. “We were trapped on the second floor of a house. I had just joined the department as a volunteer and I didn’t even bother to check the gauge on my air pak to make sure I had a full supply of air in the tank. My partner, Bill, always checked his before he ever put it on.” Gil smiled wryly, remembering that day clearly. “I ran out of air ten minutes into the fire. When I grabbed at my hose and started panicking, Bill knew what happened. He yelled at me to hold my breath and then unscrewed the end of the hose on my tank. He put it on his own so I could get a breath of air from his tank. God,” he whispered fervently, “I was never so scared. I had a hell of a time trying to keep my head. We were disoriented in the smoke, but luckily we found the stairs and made it out to safety.”