I hear the porch creek as he stands, then circles around, turning to face me. “Start with asking a question?"
I nod once. "All that shit you said before you left—did you mean it?"
“Which part?” he asks as he takes a step toward me but I hold my hand up and I take a step back.
I’m already fighting the urge to wrap myself around him and run my hands through his dark, messy hair. His gorgeous eyes are marred with sadness, and his unshaven face emphasizes that emotion.
"Don't think you're going to put those magic hands and crazy seductive lips on me and make this all of this better. I don't want to sound like a bitch because I feel horrible about your aunt, but you did something that I swore I would never let a man do to me again. You broke my heart, and now I need answers."
He nods. "I know, and I'll answer anything I can't right now. So the first answer is—some of it.”
"Tell me what happened,” I order. “Tell me what happened from the time you got the call about needing to come home up to when you asked me if I want kids.”
“Right,” he says, then begins tugging at his ear. “I got a call from Kylar telling me that Diane was sick. She wouldn't tell him what was going on, all he knew was that she’d been to the doctor and she’d been crying all day. I came home and she told me she’d been diagnosed with a brain tumor. She'd known for a while, but that day the doctor told her it was growing much quicker, and she only had about six weeks, if that.”
His voice cracks, so he pauses, gathering himself for the rest. “She had just told me that when I came over to your place. All I could think about was the fact that I’m going to be a parent again, to three boys, and you want a life without kids. I felt like my heart was being torn in two.”
As he talks, he's blinking rapidly but he's not able to hide the tears. Thinking about what he must've been going through, feels like my heart is breaking all over again.
I'm thinking he should have told me right then, what was going on with him. I would've done anything to help him get through this time.
After what feels like a long stare down, he finally asks, “What's your next question?"
I narrow my eyes. “What's my next question? Really?” He cocks his head to the side looking confused, so I fill him in. “Why did you not just tell me about your aunt? Why did you play some stupid question and answer game about having kids?”
He points his thumb over the shoulder toward the house. "Did you miss the part about me having to raise my brothers? For as long as we've been together, Keegan, the one thing you’ve made perfectly clear is that you don't want kids. That night I went out and had a few drinks, and I ran all of the options over in my head. If I told you what was going on, you would want to come back here and help, I know that. I see how you connected with Diane and my brothers, so I know you would've done anything to help, but I didn't want to put you in that position. You're going off to med school, and you're going to find someone, and not have kids, and fuck like rabbits for the rest of your life."
He says that last part with a look of nausea, obviously not liking the idea of me being a rabbit with another guy.
“I knew I had to come back here and find a job nearby because when Diane's gone there will only be me to support these boys. So, I decided that instead of telling you what was going on, and putting you in the position of having to decide to either stick with me while I become a dad, or walk away, I would make the decision for you. I knew walking away from you would hurt you, but I knew that's what was best for you because you don’t want to be a mom, and this is not your cross to bear."
Thoroughly pissed and offended, I can no longer keep myself from beating the shit out of him. With two long steps, I'm throwing myself at him and he falls to the ground. I follow with him, but quickly regain my balance so I can sit up and start beating on his chest.
"You, Adrian Elliot,” I yell, “have got to be the stupidest boy I've ever known.”
Chapter 70
World Wrestling Federation
After a few swings, Adrian stops trying to block my hands and decides to just grab them. He’s easily able to overpower me and quickly has us flipped over so that I am on my back, arms over my head, with him leaning inches from my face.
"As cute as you are when you're trying to be all badass and hurt me,” he says through ragged breaths, “I’m more interested in knowing what it is exactly you're pissed about.”
Is he for real?
“Are you for real?” I ask, through clenched teeth. “You walk away from me, telling me in so many words, that you're done with me. I finally come to hunt you down for answers, only to find out that you walked away because you think I'm a selfish bitch."
He sits up quickly, releasing my hands. "That," he says pointing a finger at me. "Is not at all what I said. What I said was that I didn’t want you to have to make that decision and I certainly didn’t want you to have to become a mother, of three teen boys at the age of twenty-two.”
I throw my pelvis hard against him causing him to lean forward and grab his little boy parts… well, okay, so they might be big boy parts. When he’s leaned forward nursing his wounds, I lift my left side forcing him to fall to my right, and because his hands were occupied, he was unable to catch himself so I was easily able to get him onto his back and take control again.
I hear clapping from the front porch and look up to see the twins watching us like this is Monday night wrestle mania. I wink and smile at them then go back to my current task.
"You see Adrian,” I explain, “somewhere along the way you missed the fact that I’m a perfectly independent woman who’s capable of making her own choices. If you’d talked to me that day, instead of wussing out, then I would've told you that there was no way in hell you were going to keep me away from your aunt and those boys." I nod in the direction of our audience. "You're right I have been clear about the fact that I don't want to have kids, and that hasn't changed. I have no desire to get pregnant, eat entirely too much and double my size, all in a nine-month period, then deal with a screaming baby and change diapers for years.
But the idea of helping Adrian raise these boys, kind of gives me that warm, gooey feeling. Now, generally I'm not a fan of the warm and gooey, but it seems that I'm adjusting to the fact that Adrian is going to create these feelings in me. And now, his brothers will too.
"What's wrong with your face?" Adrian asks.
"What the hell kind of question is that?” I ask, offended. “What do you mean what's wrong with my face?”
Adrian is wrinkling his nose scanning my entire face. "I don't know, it's like your lips are turning up on the sides, and your eyes have this… this sparkle thing." His face lights up in recognition. "Are you happy? Is that what your face looks like when you're having happy thoughts?"
A part of me is tempted to find a new area of his body in which to create pain, but hearing him joke and seeing him smile, I can't help but smile too.
I push up to a sitting position, giving Adrian room to do the same. “I’ve got another question,” I tell him, serious now. He nods, and I go on. "Why did you go to Texas?"
Instantly, his nostrils flare and I can see the muscle in his jaw begin to twitch.
"To see my dad,” he says. “I had to guarantee he was going to transfer guardianship to me, without any problems."
Oh yeah, in addition to his aunt dying, figuring out how to be a parent again, he had to deal with his dad who could try to get the boys back. I can’t believe Adrian dealt with this all on his own.
"How could you guarantee that?” I ask, remembering he had no proof of the way that he treated them growing up.
Adrian shrugs. "I had no idea, I only knew I needed it transferred before… well you know," he says, glancing at the front door. "I was even willing to give out the support payments he makes."
My eyes go wide in shock. “Holy shit Adrian, how would you support three boys on a teacher salary?"
When he looks back at me, I see the determinat
ion in his eyes. “I would do whatever I had to do. Plus, Diane hasn't used all the money my dad has sent, she has quite a bit tucked away.”
Curious how that meeting went, I ask, “What did you say to your dad?"
“Turns out I didn't have to do much bargaining. He didn't care that Diane is sick, and he has no desire to regain custody of the boys." Adrian laughs humorlessly. "He said it actually worked out quite nice for him having the kids so far away because no one there knows anything about them and the less they go digging around."
“Did he transfer guardianship?” I ask. “Is he going to continue to send money?"
Adrian nods. "All that, plus he's increasing the amount he sends so I can take some time off. He said it would look a lot better that his oldest son doesn't have to work if he's raising his younger brothers.”
"How generous," I deadpan.
"Well," Adrian says, "his motives are fucked up, but I have to admit, not having to work for at least this next year while I get back into the swing of parenting, will be nice."
My heart goes all warm and gooey, and I’m okay with that. Adrian is one amazing guy. He not only is willing to give up his life, and go back to being a parent to his brothers, he was willing to walk away from the girl he loves.
Without thinking, I crawl across the grass and into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"God, I love you,” I tell him, then kiss like we haven’t kissed in weeks.
A few seconds into the kiss, Adrian pushes on my waist and pulls back. His eyes shift back and forth between mine, searching for something, but asking nothing.
Since he can’t figure out what to say, I clarify the situation.
"Do we understand each other now? Can we get all of this cleared up so we can start making plans for how I'm going to live here but still attend med school?”
Eyes wide now, Adrian asks, “Really? But you don’t want to be a mom.”
I roll my eyes. “We're talking about two, twelve-year-old boys and a sixteen-year-old boy, all of which are perfectly capable of wiping their own asses and I'm assuming they don't cry too much."
He smiles again, and I can’t hold back my own.
“You love me,” he singsongs.
I roll my eyes again. “I have no idea why. You’re crazier than I am.”
Tucking my hair behind my hear, he defines our relationship better than I ever could. “Your crazy compliments mine.”
Epilogue
One year later
“Baby, we need to go,” Adrian yells from the other side of the door.
I sigh, as I lift the long necklaces over my head. I step back, inspecting my image in the mirror. I look fucking hot if I’m being honest with myself.
I’m wearing a green and black camo mini skirt, tight green v-neck tee, motorcycle boots, and several long necklaces. I think it’s the perfect outfit for our trip today.
Adrian and I are in a hotel in Wheeling, West Virginia. Adrian surprised me the other day when he told me he had a trip planned for us. I start my second year of med school in three weeks, which means we’ll be seeing a lot less of each other. We drove over three hours yesterday, stayed in a hotel last night, all so I can visit my favorite store ever—Cabela’s. It’s the largest store for outdoor gear, aka, a survivalist heaven.
I moved in with Adrian and the boys, the morning after that day I went to get answers from him. We buried Diane three weeks later. Every moment she was awake and able to speak, she either lectured the boys about how to become good men or talked with Adrian and me about things we needed to know moving forward. She was an amazingly strong and selfless woman, to the very end.
My mom, being the same kind of strong and selfless woman, put her house up for sale and moved into an apartment two blocks away from us. She has become a surrogate grandma to the boys, helping with anything we ask, and giving advice when we don’t.
Adrian took a substitute teaching position, just to get his foot in the door at the local elementary. He’s been offered a full-time position starting this fall. I started med school and I’ve learned to make toaster waffles, grilled cheese, and a few other necessary things teen boys love to eat. We’ve only had the fire department at our house two times in the past year. I’m pretty damn proud of my cooking progress.
Now, I open the bathroom door, and Adrian is standing on the other side, arms crossed, tapping his thumb impatiently on his bicep. When he sees me, his whole body freezes.
“Shit, baby,” he mutters, looking away.
Well, that’s not exactly the reaction I was hoping for. “Something wrong with my outfit,” I ask.
He looks back to me, and his nostrils flare. “Besides the fact that I’m going to have a hard-on all day?”
I saunter closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and look up at him, batting my eyes. “We can take care of that now before we leave.”
As much as I want to get to the great wonderland of Cabela’s, I can spare time for this.
He releases a guttural noise from deep in his throat and takes a step back, making my hands fall from around him. “We have to go.”
I scrunch up my face. “What’s the hurry? The store’s only been open for an hour,” I remind him.
He looks me over, from head to toe, then mutters something I don’t understand. He stomps over to the nightstand, snatches up my purse, crosses the room back to me without looking up, then grabs my hand and drags me out the door.
I don’t ask why he’s acting odd because… well… odd is kinda his thing.
As we pull into the parking lot, and I see the huge bear and eagle sculpture, I have to refrain from bouncing in my seat. This must be what kids feel like when they get to Disney World. I’ve only been here one other time, just before Christmas, when Adrian brought me.
He glances at me, before slipping into an open parking spot, and I see an amused smile. I love that he loves my strange obsession.
“Come on,” he says, squeezing my hand, “let’s go make dreams come true.”
I tilt my head as I look at him, wondering why he seems almost as excited to be here as I am. The last time we were here, he was pouting after the first three hours. Apparently he thought I could make my way around this massive, beautiful, store in a couple hours. After hour four, he went to take a nap in the car.
I’m standing just inside the door, eyes wide, trying to decide where to go first when Adrian tugs on my hand.
“Let’s go the gun library first, that was pretty cool,” he says, surprising me again.
I was the one drooling when we entered the double doors of the glorious gun library. The glass cabinets, covering the walls of the oval shaped room, protecting the finest new and used firearms. It’s a sight to behold.
I let Adrian lead the way, not caring about his motives—I get to see guns.
As we get closer to the glass doors of the room, I notice they are closed, with black drapes covering the windows. Adrian storms ahead, and knocks on the doors. What the heck?
After a second, the doors open, and I see Gemma’s bright shiny face.
What the double heck? I’m confused. It’s one of those moments when you see someone you know, but you forget who they are because you’re not in a place where you usually see them. I only see Gemma back in Ohio, at school.
When she opens the door further, I see all our family and friends circling the grand desk in the middle of the room. Adrian’s brothers, Kade, and Max are all on one side. My mom, Shy, Robert, and his family are on the other side. All of them are dressed up and wearing huge smiles.
With my mouth hanging open, I blink several times then look to Adrian for answers.
He’s gone pale. “I thought this might be the kind of place where you’d like to get married,” he says, then visibly swallows.
I blink several more times, trying to make sense of all this. We’re getting married today… in Cabela’s… gun library…
I practically jump onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kiss
ing him wildly. It’s not a sweet romantic kiss at all. After a few seconds, he places his hands on my hips and pushes me back.
“Let’s do this,” he says with a smile bigger than all the others combined.
After the short, but perfect, ceremony, I’m allowed to shop for a couple hours before we all gather for dinner and drinks at a nearby steakhouse. Adrian promises I get to go back and shop more the next morning.
After dinner, and several drinks, I climb onto Adrian’s lap, which is a tight fit in a booth. I place my hands on either side of his face and give him a quick kiss.
“I love you, baby,” I tell him, feeling every word in every part of my body.
He smiles. “So you liked your destination wedding?”
“Liked it?” I ask. “It was more perfect than anything I could have planned myself. So, how are you going to top this with a honeymoon,” I tease, knowing he probably hasn’t thought past the wedding. Not that I’m complaining. No, this man gave me my dream wedding that I had no idea I’d been dreaming of.
Adrian’s mouth lifts on one side. “We’re going to the beach.”
“What?” I say, shocked. Not what I expected, but okay.
He wraps he arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I have to tip my head down to look at him.
“I rented us an oceanfront condo in Seaside Heights, New Jersey,” he explains.
“New Jersey?” I ask, still shocked.
With a confident smile, he fills me in. “That was the closest beach I could find to the zombie survival camp you’ll be attending.” My mouth drops open, for the second time today, and he goes on. “It’s a weekend thing and looks like something you’ll love. I’ll find some place to golf those couple days, then we’ll spend the rest of the week, either on the beach, or the bed… not sleeping,” he adds with a mischievous smile.
I think I’m gonna cry. “Zombie survival camp?” I squeak out.
He nods. “When I started looking for a retreat for you to attend, I thought I might find one or two, in the whole country, but shit, baby, there must be millions of people like you out there. I found prepper camps, survivalist camps, and then I discovered this one, which is actually called Zombie Survival Camp.”
Our Kinda Love Page 23