I shut my eyes, shoving away all the memories and pain, and enjoying the feeling of being in his arms. Of being protected and comforted. I want to thank him, but my throat is too dry. He must know what I’m feeling, because he hugs me closer.
Chapter Five
After work the next day, I check my phone. There are no texts. I probably sent my mom over a hundred these past few days, mostly asking her to call me back. Daisy’s death broke her. Completely. The last few months of my senior year of high school sucked. Not only because my sister died, but because my mother turned into one of the walls of our house. She still worked, but she walked around like a zombie. If not for her boss feeling sorry for her, I’m pretty sure she would have been fired.
I’d come home from school every day hoping she changed. Hoping that she started seeing the therapist her friend recommended. I needed her. We needed each other. We still do.
“Are you okay?” Sebastian sits down near me on the couch. He was in his lamp when I left for work this morning. He spent the night in there, and that disappointed me a little. I liked having him in my bed. I don’t know if that’s weird, but it’s how I feel. I liked waking up next to him. With him by my side, I didn’t need to sleep with my teddy bears. Last night I did, and there’s no comparison. The genie beats the cotton hands down.
“Yeah,” I say. “I’m just waiting for my mother to text me back.”
He scans the phone with a curious expression on his face. “Is she the one whose pain you want to take away?”
I swallow the lump burning my throat.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly says. “But maybe I can help you. You have three wishes, Lily. How can I help make her pain—and yours—go away?”
I blink away the tears forming in my eyes. I never open up about the past and how screwed up everything got, but Sebastian’s soft tone makes me want to finally get it off my chest. Maybe I feel like he won’t judge. Most people don’t know what to say to me. Macy was with me every step of the way, but she felt awkward, unsure what to do or say. How to help me. With Sebastian, I just need him to listen.
I rummage through a drawer and pull out a framed photograph of Mom, Daisy, and me. We all have identical smiles on our faces. We didn’t know that only a year later, our little family would be torn apart.
Sitting down, I place the photo on our knees. “This was taken at Daisy’s high school graduation.”
He runs his hand across it, studying each one of us. “You look so happy.”
“Daisy decided to go to college close to home because we’d miss each other too much. She wanted to be a social worker. She loved helping people.”
I glance at her in the photo. She was an exact copy of our mother, with light brown, wavy hair and green eyes. I’m the only one with crazy, curly auburn hair and brown eyes. Daisy never let me think of it as crazy, though. She spent hours on her hair every morning and even more on mine. We’d talk about everything—school, boys, fashion. It’s cliché, but she wasn’t just my sister, she was my best friend.
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says. “For all the pain you and your mother are going through.”
I nod, unable to talk. The burning in my throat intensifies.
Sebastian pushes some hair away from my face, his fingers stroking my cheek. I lean into him. “I can take the pain away,” he says softly. Normally, I hate the sympathy, but right now, I need it. “But you’d have to be careful. Wishes can have negative effects. Sometimes they go wrong. Sometimes they’re not what you want and you wish you could take it back but you can’t.”
“What do you mean?” My voice is hoarse.
He hesitates, his fingers forming circle on my cheek. It burns and I let the feeling conquer all my senses. Because it’s better to focus on that than the hurt that’s taken a permanent residence in my heart. “In order to take your mother’s pain away, I would have to obliterate the thing causing the pain.”
“You mean you’d have to…?”
He shuts his eyes. “Erase the memory of your sister’s existence.”
My heart gallops in my chest. No, I can’t…no. No way. The room starts to blur and I don’t wipe the tears away. Sebastian pulls me to his chest, rubbing my back.
I wipe my eyes. “She can’t forget Daisy.”
He stares into my eyes. “You don’t need a wish. You can talk to her. You can make her better.”
“I tried. She won’t answer my calls or texts.”
He takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “You can go to her. Talk to her face to face and tell her how you feel.”
My palms grow clammy. Me go to California and see my mom? The thought makes my stomach churn. Doing it over the phone would be easier. Of course I’d want us to eventually meet, but I thought things would build up to that. I’m not ready to face this.
“California is like, a million miles away,” I say, grabbing for excuses. “I’d need a plane ticket…and I’d need time off from work.”
“Wish for it,” he says. “And I’ll take you there.”
I can’t move. It’s like I’m frozen in place. As hard as this is, Sebastian is right. Mom’s been ignoring me, but maybe having me at her house will cause her to talk. That’s really all I need, for us to talk and have a relationship. To get over Daisy’s death together.
“Okay,” I tell him before I’ll change my mind. “I’m ready.” I close my eyes and breathe in and out. I’ve never meditated before, but this seems like an appropriate time. I clear my head and wait for my heart to steady. I open my eyes. “I wish to go to my mother’s house in California.”
Sebastian stands up and does some sort of motions with his arms, swinging them around and spinning in place. “Your wish is my command.”
Chapter Six
I swallow as I stare at the house I grew up in. The house that holds all my memories. Good, bad, and terrible. It’s not the same, though. It feels like a dark cloud hovers above it. On the outside, it’s just a small house with a small garden in front, but on the inside, it’s torn. Not physically, though. Mom always took care of the house, especially after Daisy died. She’d distract herself with anything just so she wouldn’t have to deal with what happened, or with me. She pretended I wasn’t there.
A hand rests on my back. “Are you ready?” Sebastian asks.
“How long do I have?”
“As long as you need. Do you want me to go in with you? Your mother won’t see me, but if you prefer to do this alone…”
I clutch his hand. A bit too tightly, and I quickly let go. “Please stay.”
“Okay.”
The curtains are drawn. There doesn’t seem to be any life inside. It’s like the house is abandoned.
Taking a deep breath, I nod to Sebastian. He holds out his hand, and I slide mine inside. His is so big that mine could get lost in it. But I like the feeling. It relaxes me. Only a little bit, though. My heart beats faster than a stampede of wild animals.
We climb the stairs and I ring the bell, hearing it echo throughout the house. Nothing happens. She doesn’t answer. I ring two more times, but hear nothing. Maybe she’s not home. When I peer over my shoulder, I notice her car parked in the driveway. That doesn’t prove she’s home, but a feeling of dread washes over me. Maybe she’s hurt or in trouble.
I take my key out of my pocket—I still have it, even after moving out—and push it in the lock, shoving the door open. The inside of the house looks exactly like it did before I left, except it’s cleaner. Nothing seems to be out of place as Sebastian and I walk through the hall and into the living room, where we find Mom sitting on a chair facing the window. Her favorite chair. She’s wearing a ratty robe and her light brown hair is pulled in a loose bun, as if she doesn’t want to bother with it.
“M…mom?”
There’s no response. She won’t acknowledge me.
“It’s Lily,” I continue, not knowing what else to say. Again, nothing. Her gaze is still glued to the window as though she’s waiting for something to happen
. Sebastian squeezes my hand. I give him a small smile, thanking him for the support.
He nods. “You can do this.”
I inhale, then exhale before stepping in front of my mother. Bending to give her a hug, I say, “Hi, Mom.”
She doesn’t react.
“It’s, um, good to see you.”
She finally moves her green eyes to me. They’re filled with anger, but more so with pain. It’s not me she’d mad at, but at the world. I remember staring into those eyes the last few months of high school. Mom didn’t even come to my graduation. She avoided social events, and I had to make excuses for her.
“I called and texted,” I say, sitting on the couch across from her. “You never responded.”
Sebastian lowers himself near me and takes my hand. My gaze falls to his bare feet. How can he walk around like that? He’s never complained, but I guess genies don’t wear shoes.
Why am I thinking about that? I look at my mom. “That’s why I’m here,” I continue.
Her eyes narrow. “Have you considered that I didn’t respond because I don’t want to talk to you?” she says in a clipped voice that sends a dagger through my heart. Those words didn’t just leave her mouth. They couldn’t have. But as I look into her hollow eyes, I know they did. Heat gathers in my head and I start to see spots. I lose all feeling everywhere until Sebastian pats my hand.
“And I’d very much appreciate it if you left,” Mom says, averting her gaze to the window.
Tears fill my eyes. “Mom….please. Talk to me. Let’s get through this together. If we need to speak with someone—”
“I said, leave my house.”
It’s the pain talking, not her. I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn’t mean anything she says.
“Let me spend the night here,” I say. “I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”
“Leave. I don’t want to see you.”
I shakily get to my feet. “You don’t mean that.”
Her jaw clenches. “You have ten seconds.” She starts to count down, like she did when I was a kid and she was trying to get me to go to bed.
“You lost one daughter,” I say, my voice cracking. “Do you want to lose another? Because…” I shut my eyes. “If you keep pushing me away, that’s what’s going to happen.”
Her lips press together and her eyes get glassy, but she blinks that away and her face contorts in anger. “Leave or I’m calling the police.”
Forcing myself not to glance back at her, I tug Sebastian’s hand and we leave the house. He wraps his arms around me, holding me close. I lay my head on his chest, breathing in his exotic genie scent and feeling his hard muscles and silky skin.
I don’t utter a word and neither does he. I probably look ridiculous hugging an invisible person, but I don’t care. I need this.
From the corner of my eye, I catch my mom at the window, peering down at me. Her face doesn’t register regret or guilt. All I see are those empty eyes. I don’t know who that woman is, but she’s not my mother. Maybe she’ll never be again. She won’t talk to someone, and as much as I want her to, I can’t force her. It’s not like she isn’t taking care of herself, so I can’t call a doctor or anything like that.
I bite my lip. Is this really it? The end?
“Take me home,” I tell Sebastian. He nods, and the next second, we’re standing in my living room, in each other’s arms. He doesn’t move and neither do I. Being enclosed like this makes me feel protected, cared about. Loved, even. Which is really stupid, because we’re not in love. Besides, he said he can’t feel love.
I internally groan. Why am I thinking about this? It’s the least important thing right now. I just lost my mom.
“Are you going to be okay?” Sebastian asks, tightening his hold around me.
I bury my face in his chest, letting the tears fall. “This wish was a waste,” I mumble.
His chin rubs against my head as he shakes his head. “No. She needs time,” he murmurs, his lips grazing my forehead. “You came to see her, and that could make all the difference in her road to recovery.”
“No. It’s done. It’s over.”
“You don’t know that.”
I pull off and rake my hands through my hair. “You don’t know her. When she decides something, it’s final.”
He places his hand on my shoulder. His eyes are filled with compassion. “From what I’ve seen, humans change their minds a lot.”
I don’t know if I should believe him. I don’t want to fill myself with hope only to be let down. Growing up, my mom promised Daisy and me she’d contact our dad, after we begged her a thousand times. She’d promise he’d come the next day and I always went to bed excited and hopeful. Then the next morning she’d come up with some excuse. As we got older, my sister told me our mom never called our dad. She had no intention of having us meet him. Maybe that was his choice, I can understand that. But she should have told us the truth. I know this situation is different, but my mom is one of the most stubborn people I know. I sincerely doubt she’ll rekindle her relationship with me. Daisy was a strong part of our lives. Now that she’s gone, Mom wants nothing to do with me. She’d rather waste away than deal with the pain and the reality.
“You need to keep trying,” Sebastian says.
I don’t know if I can. There’s just so much rejection and hurt I can take. “I’m going to bed.”
He doesn’t say anything as I go to my room. I throw on my pajamas and crawl into bed, not bothering to take a shower or brush my teeth. My heart feels like it’s been shattered. She’s the only one I have. I’m the only one she has. Doesn’t she see that? Does she want to lose the only family she has?
Tears blur my vision, and I don’t bother wiping them, just let them seep into my pillow. I’m not usually a loud crier, but tonight, I let everything out. All the pain I’ve been feeling since Daisy’s death. When I shut my eyes, I can see her face smiling at me, her big, shining green eyes. Her hopes and dreams. They all died that day.
“Daisy,” I whisper. “Talk to Mom. Help her. Help me. Please, Dais.” I don’t know if she can hear me. I don’t know if I believe in the afterlife and all that. Sometimes when I’m lying in bed unable to sleep, I can feel her watching over me, telling me everything is going to be okay. Just like now.
The blanket lifts and someone climbs into my bed. Arms wrap around me, pulling me close. I remember when I was five and was scared of monsters. Daisy would get into bed with me and hold me.
But this isn’t Daisy. I take in the strong arms and long hair. Sebastian. I cling to him, squeezing my body against his. His warmth overwhelms me. The tears still come, and so do the hiccups. I can hardly breathe. It’s like the world is crashing down on me, smashing me to bits.
Sebastian strokes my cheek with the back of his finger, not uttering a word. He doesn’t have to. This is enough. My face is inches away from his, and I gaze into his eyes that are filled with concern. He’s not human and doesn’t understand the importance of family, but he gets it. He understands what all of this means to me. He wants to make me feel better, but he’s powerless to do so. Unless he takes Mom’s memories away, which is a complete no no. As much as I want her to get better, there’s no way I’m letting her forget her oldest daughter. The two of them had a special bond that I didn’t have with my mom. While I bonded with Mom through cooking, she did so with fashion and shopping and boys. Mom dated here and there and always sought Daisy’s advice on whether a guy was a creep or not. It’s also the reason I didn’t have many boyfriends. Daisy watched over me like a hawk, scaring away many guys who paid attention to me. I pretended to hate her for it, but deep down I was glad, because if Daisy approved of a guy, that meant he was good. Now I’ll never be reassured if the guy I’m dating is a keeper.
More tears spill out of my eyes, like I have a fountain behind them. Sebastian’s finger still roams over my face. He must feel the wetness, but doesn’t comment. Does he think I’m nothing more than a crying human?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“For what?”
I get up and grab a tissue from the night table and dab my eyes and nose. “You probably think I’m pathetic.”
He reaches over to turn on the bedside lamp. He pushes away the hair that’s sticking to my cheeks. “Never.” His eyes soften. “How can I take your pain away?”
“I don’t think you can.” I force a smile. “Thanks, though. I just have to get used to the idea that I may never talk to my mom again.” My lower lip trembles. “I’ll…I’ll be okay.” I force another smile.
Sebastian lies down, and I scoot closer to him. He encloses me in his arms. I press my face into his neck, enjoying his warmth and comfort. I’ve never been this comfortable with a guy before. I really like it. Like him. Wait, what am I saying? He’s a genie. He isn’t real. And he surely doesn’t feel anything for me. Does he?
“Thanks for taking me to California and for staying with me,” I say. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without him by my side.
“Anytime, Master,” his sleepy voice says.
Master…so that’s it, then. I’m still only his master. It’s stupid to think that this…whatever this is…is something more than that.
I draw away from him and slide to the other end of the bed.
Chapter Seven
Luckily it’s a Saturday or else I don’t know how I would manage to get up in the morning. When I open my eyes, I don’t find Sebastian beside me. Looking around, he doesn’t seem to be in the room. Is he back in his lamp?
My eyes are dry from crying last night. I didn’t think the tears would ever end, but they did and I managed to sleep a bit. All I saw before me was my mom’s hollow eyes.
Falling for the Genie (Genie's Love, Book 1) Page 4