She tilted her head and got that cute wrinkle in her forehead. “And you don’t want to talk to her.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. He couldn’t explain this without telling her everything. The only other person he’d told this to was Declan, and that hadn’t been in a friendship capacity. That was as his attorney. Opening himself up, sharing anything personal, wasn’t easy for Adam. In fact, he never did it.
Looking into Jane’s light amber eyes, he knew he had to. Even if she didn’t understand. Even if she walked away from him, he had to try.
“Alexis and I met ten years ago. We were both scouted by the Central Intelligence Agency. She was in her senior year at MIT, and I was in the Army. We were assigned a mission together as husband and wife, and it kind of bonded us.
“Neither of us really knew what we were getting into then. We stayed in contact over the next year in the agency, where she became a full-time operative while I went into cryptology. I still had to go into the field, but that was rare.”
Shaking his head, he tried to remember why they’d been together in the first place. “I think we gravitated towards each other because we felt like we understood what the other was going through. Where we’d come from. So we dated for a few years, and then we got married.
“A few months ago, I came home early from an assignment because my lawyer and friend, Declan, had inked a deal to sell my app and I had to be there to finalize it. I decided not to call Alexis. I thought I would surprise her. Not just with coming home early, but also with the sale.
“When I got to the house we shared, it was around nine p.m. and she wasn’t home. That wasn’t unusual because of the nature of her job. So I went on her computer to see if she had any appointments or plans with friends. I didn’t find that answer, but I did find an e-mail from her doctor following up on the abortion she’d had six weeks prior.”
His chest tightened as he remembered how betrayed he’d felt. “We’d been trying to have kids for a few years. I always wanted a family. Probably to make up for what I didn’t have. Alexis said that she did too. So I had no idea why she would lie to me.
“When she got home an hour later, I wasn’t the only one with a surprise. She came through the front door going at it with my boss, who I’d thought was one of my best friends.” He leaned his elbows on his knees. “Theo, my boss, got out of there as fast as he could. And Alexis tried to apologize. She said that we’d grown apart. When I confronted her about the abortion, she told me she’d had to do that because she wasn’t sure whose baby it was.”
Jane put her hand on his knee, her eyes filled with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Adam. I’m so sorry that you went through that.”
“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I just wish I could put it behind me. Alexis won’t sign the papers, and not only that, she’s moved into my apartment.”
“I thought you said you lived together.”
“We had a house we shared and then we each had our own apartments. I believed it was for work purposes. But, looking back, I think it might’ve been so Alexis didn’t have to slow down her dating life.”
“And, now, she wants to talk?” Jane asked, her eyes searching his like she was trying desperately to understand.
“Yeah. That’s why I’m going back. I agreed to go to see a mediator so she would sign the papers. I just want to get this done.”
“Okay.” Jane nodded slowly.
Adam didn’t want to waste one more minute talking about her. “I was going to tell you. I swear. I wanted to tell you so many times. I was going to tell you last night. I know that didn’t happen, but I promise you I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from telling you tonight.”
She grinned. “I know. While I was trying to explain everything to my grandparents, I put two and two together that that was probably what you wanted to talk about.”
“Oh shit. Walter and Dolores. Are they upset? Do you want me to go talk to them?” He stood up, ready to head over there. “I can explain—”
“No.” She stood as well. “They’re on their way to Lake Tahoe.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Adam remembered. “Wait, they left you alone?”
Jane smiled a smile he felt all the way down to his toes. “I told them I wanted to be alone.”
This might have been a bad time, but he couldn’t help himself. He had zero self-control around Jane. Taking a small step and closing the distance between them, he asked, his voice growing husky, “Is that what you want? Do you want to be alone?”
Chapter 25
‡
Is that what she wanted? No. The real question was: what was she going to do about it?
He was leaving. To go to mediation. With his wife. His wife who had cheated on him and aborted a baby that might or might not have been his behind his back.
She needed time to process. Unfortunately, time was something she didn’t have.
Adam stepped even closer. His body was so close that she could feel the heat radiating off of him. Her eyes were aimed straight at his chest. The chest she’d lathered with soapy water earlier that morning. She knew how strong it was, how good it felt to lay her head against it. That was what she wanted. For Adam to pull her into his arms and never let her go.
“Jane, this time with you has been… It’s been everything I never thought I’d have. Never thought I’d experience.”
Chills broke out on Jane’s arms, and Adam’s warm breath washed over her as his voice vibrated through her.
“I’m not sure when, but I fell in lo—”
Reaching up, Jane covered his mouth with her hand. “No. Don’t.”
She was pretty sure she knew what he’d been about to say, and there was no way she could handle hearing those words and the possibility of him not coming back. As it was, she figured she had a fifty-fifty chance of recovering if she never saw him again. Or, worse, if he returned to Hope Falls…with his wife.
As soon as she moved her hand, Adam spoke again, a tortured, intense look filling his aqua-blue gaze. “Jane, I want to tell you how I feel, what you mean to me.”
Her head started shaking before he’d even finished his sentence. “No. I can’t, Adam.”
“Jane, please.”
The desperation in his voice broke her heart. Which was quite a feat since it was already broken in so many pieces that she would’ve thought it was just dust.
“No.” She held her ground.
“Tell me what you want, Jane. What can I do? I’m so sorry.”
The need to make this right with her was palpable. It was heavy. But he really hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d stepped in to help out with her grandparents. He’d told her multiple times that they needed to talk. He’d never said that he wasn’t married.
Last night, Jane had decided to live in the moment, not to overthink things. Maybe it had been her hormones, or maybe it had just been because she was madly in love with the man standing less than an inch in front of her, trying to pour his heart out. But whatever the reason, Jane made a decision, and a peace instantly fell over her.
“You’re not leaving until tomorrow?” she clarified.
“My flight’s at nine a.m., but I can reschedu—”
Lifting her hand, she stopped him. Then, touching his chest, she felt his heart thumping heavily beneath her palm and closed her eyes, taking a moment to feel the heart that had stolen hers.
Then, opening her lids, she tilted her head and met his gaze. “The first time we were together, I honestly thought it was a fluke. I hoped that it would happen again, but I doubted it would. Then, call it fate, destiny, or meddling grandparents—whatever the reason was, we had last night together. I told myself if that was all I had, just one more night with you, it would be worth it.
“Today, as we rode back to Hope Falls, I was sure I would never feel your lips on me again. Never feel the touch of your hands as they squeezed my hips, pulling me closer to you. Never again experience the ecstasy only you’ve ever made me feel.”
“Just let me finish.” She had to get this out if tonight was going to go the way she wanted it to. She didn’t want any mixed signals, any misplaced guilt. With a smile that, although it was tinged in sadness, held so much joy and happiness for the time she and Adam had spent together, she continued. “From the time Nikki roped you into to taking me to the fundraiser to the time you agreed to be my boyfriend, I’ve known we were on borrowed time.
“But I don’t want you to feel bad for that. Or feel like somehow you’ve done wrong by me. You haven’t, Adam. You’ve opened up a part of me I never knew existed. The carnal, primal part that wants to give pleasure as much as take it. That wants to explore every inch of you and for you to do the same to me.” Her eyes brimmed with moisture, but it was because of how much he’d given her. “You gave me something I never thought I’d feel. You made me feel wanted. Desired. I never thought I would be the girl who felt that.”
Taking in a shaky breath, she gathered all of her courage to answer Adam’s question. To tell him what she wanted, but first, what she didn’t want. “Tonight, I don’t want to hear you say things that will be permanently imprinted on my soul. I don’t want you to make promises that may or may not come true. And most of all, I don’t want you to feel like you’ve done something wrong by me. You haven’t.
“To answer your original question: no, I don’t want to be alone tonight. Tonight, I just want to be with you. I want to forget the rest of the world. I want to lose myself in you. Tonight, all I want there to be is you and me. Nothing else.”
Adam had remained quiet for her entire speech, but now, she really wished he’d say something. Anything.
Now, it was Jane’s heart’s turn to pound rapidly, and it was.
As if reading her mind, he said, “Can I talk now?”
“Ye—”
Before she’d even gotten the short, one-word answer out, Adam’s mouth was on hers, claiming her with a savage intensity in a kiss so passionate, so raw, so consuming, so fiercely possessive that it stole Jane’s breath away. This kiss was an action that definitely spoke louder than any words could.
In one swift movement, he tightened his hold around her waist and swept her off her feet. His arms cocooned her as he moved through the house, his powerful legs taking large strides down the narrow hall. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as her heart leapt in her chest. When his soft yet forceful lips covered hers and his wet tongue slowly explored the recesses of her mouth with a demanding mastery, she returned his kiss with equal enthusiasm and need.
Once they’d entered his room, he lowered her to the bed with the strongest arms she’d ever known. As the mattress dipped beneath her, their joining grew tender in a smoldering heat. His tongue traced her lips with tantalizing domination somewhere between soft and firm. The gentle massage sent currents of desire racing through her. There was a dreamy intimacy to their kiss, and Jane felt transported to another world—one only the two of them inhabited.
She was only vaguely aware of Adam moving beside her, his mouth never leaving hers as the constricting pencil skirt she’d been wearing since this morning was being slipped down her body. Her mind barely registered the feeling of her shirt being unbuttoned and removed as she drank in the sweetness of his kiss. It wasn’t until he broke their kiss and pressed his lips to her jaw, then lower, showering attention down her neck, that she realized that his lips and tongue were sending new spirals of ecstasy through her.
His large hands roamed every inch of her body in lust-arousing exploration. Slowly. Worshipfully. First tracing the outline of both her bra and her panties before moving down her legs and back up again. His touch was light and painfully teasing as his hand brushed over her belly, across her ribs. Her body trembled at the attention.
On a sharp intake of breath, Adam hissed, “I want to memorize every line, every curve, every inch of you.”
Jane tried to be patient and let him get his fill. But when he finally cupped her breast, which was still encased in her silky material, her back instinctively arched. She pressed her fullness into his palm, needing to feel more.
Adam breathed out as he eased the silken cup of her bra to the side and leaned down. His lips covered her taut nipple with tender possessiveness. As he suckled her into his mouth, his tongue tantalized her tight bud, which swelled with urgency. She lay panting, her chest heavy as his mouth worked her breast. Then his hand slipped beneath her panties.
When his fingers began stroking her, jolts of pleasure radiated from her core. His suctioning mouth enveloped her breast completely. His teeth nibbled her taut nipple as his hardened tongue rapidly flicked over it, causing tingles to careen down her spine. She gasped as his thick finger pressed inside her and his thumb caressed her clit. That was the last thing she was aware of before she shattered into a million shiny stars. Waves of pleasure throbbed through her as she gasped in sweet agony. The pleasure he was giving her was pure and explosive.
The world slowly came back to focus. Opening her heavy lids, she saw that Adam had removed not only her panties and bra, but his own clothes as well. He was making his way up her body, peppering kisses along her legs. She tried her best to relax and enjoy his oral exploration, but an urgency filled her.
She needed more; she needed to take more. A passion unlike any she’d ever felt overcame her, and with a boldness only Adam had ever inspired in her, she acted on it.
When he started kissing her shoulder, she slid out from beneath him and pushed his shoulders so he lay flat on his back. Then, straddling him, she moved her damp core against his rigid erection. With one hand she braced herself on his muscled chest while the other held his length against her feminine core as she rolled her hips, sliding her folds up and down his steel-hard shaft.
“Fuck, that’s hot.” Adam moaned before he sucked in a breath through clenched teeth.
His descriptive words and tormented groan spurred her on. Large hands covered her thighs as his fingers dug into her flesh, sending a rush of liquid heat to her core.
As Adam’s touch flexed, working up and down her thighs they began quivering under the pressure and friction.
She let herself go, giving herself complete permission to explore the carnal side of her nature Adam had awakened.
She stopped thinking. Stopped analyzing. All she did was feel and act on those feelings.
No matter what happened in the future, what they shared tonight would be worth it. Being with Adam for any amount of time was worth it.
*
Jane on top of him, his manhood in her hand as she rubbed against him, manipulating his rod to pleasure herself, was the hottest, most erotic thing he’d ever seen. Not to mention, it felt incredible. The insistent press of her body sliding up and down his straining erection, spreading her wetness from base to engorged tip, caused his balls to tingle with pent-up release as they pulled up with tightening need.
“Oh…that feels so good,” Jane breathlessly moaned as her head fell back, her hair cascading over her perfect breasts.
Adam could feel her body pulsing as she began to grind against him. Every muscle in his body was flexed, every fiber in his being alive with the fiery, heated arousal that was racing through his veins. When she surprised him by flipping their positions, he had no idea what to expect, but this was far past his wildest dream.
Every movement she made sent him to a higher dimension. It took all of his concentration not to explode and every ounce of self-control not to take control. Not that he didn’t feel amazing—he did. Too amazing. She was bringing out primal urges in him so powerful that his entire body was vibrating.
“Oh yes, yes, yes.” Jane’s hips thrust her wet center against him as her stomach muscles clenched and she cried out.
Her nails dug into his chest as her fingers tightened, and she contracted in aftershocks. Liquid heat covered his throbbing dick, and Adam was consumed with an all-encompassing need to
be inside her wet sheath.
Just as her breathing began slowing, he moved his hands to her waist, gripping her firmly. He had a fleeting thought that he should wait for her body to fully recover, but it quickly passed. With one hand, he lifted her up easily and then took himself in the other.
Positioning his thick head at the seam of her sex, his jaw clenched as her opening pulsed in invitation. Looking up, he saw that her eyes were still shut and her breathing was still coming in pants.
“Jane,” he growled. He wanted to make sure she was ready, but he didn’t know how much longer he could wait.
Making a soft sound of acknowledgement, Jane opened her heavy lids, revealing glossy, honey-colored eyes. Awareness dawned on her beautiful features. As her stare moved to where their bodies were aligned, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, sat up straighter, and slowly slid down his rock-hard dick.
He watched with a hungry intensity as his straining flesh disappeared into her tight sheath, her body clamped so tight around him that sweat broke out on his brow. With his hand gripping her hips, he moved her up and down in a steady rhythm. Each time she rose, his shaft glistened more with her juices.
They moved together in erotic harmony. Their bodies were in perfect sync. Giving. Taking. Thrusting. Accepting. The energy between them grew more and more charged every time she sank down on him. His eyes stayed trained on her body as she rode him, her rounded breasts bouncing, her thighs spreading farther and farther apart to give him complete access to her body.
Adam wanted to take her with him when he went up and over the edge, but he couldn’t hold off much longer. He cupped her face, and her eyes lifted to his as he traced her lips with his finger. Then, pushing the tip of his finger between her lips, he instructed, “Suck.”
At his gruff command, she sucked his finger with her hot, wet mouth and her sex also started sucking his throbbing member as her inner walls spasmed around him. He moved his finger in and out of her mouth, loving the feeling of her tongue licking him. She never broke eye contact as he pulled his finger from her lips and moved it to where they were intimately joined.
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