“Can you at least tell us what to look for?” I said. “I mean, what has he done in the past, so we’ll know what to look out for?”
“He has a weakness for cars and women,” Eric said. “And it doesn’t matter to him whether either of them belongs to someone else. He’s been caught in other jurisdictions before but somehow he’s always managed to talk his way out of a jam, probably my mention my name. I can’t have that happening here. You understand.”
“Okay,” I said, “we’ll babysit your little brother for you, Eric.”
“Big brother,” Eric said.
“Huh?” I said.
“By four and a half minutes,” Eric explained. “Great example for me to look up to, isn’t he? And like I said, just observe him, unless...”
“Unless it looks like he’s going to grab a car?” I said.
“Exactly,” Eric said. “It’s not so critical if all he’s grabbing are women, but I don’t want him raping anyone, either. No, if he tries to grab a car, you grab him, call me and bring him to me. I’ll handle him from there.”
“Where should we start?” I said.
“I just saw him,” Eric said. “As of fifteen minutes ago he was in that bar on Sunset and Cherokee, across the street from that pink church. You remember, that’s where you found the bartender dead when you went looking for that male stripper.”
Gloria looked puzzled. “We found a dead bartender in a pink church?” she said.
“Not in the pink church,” Eric explained. “In the bar across from it.” He noticed Gloria smiling and knew she was just jerking his bobber.
“Jack,” Gloria said. “How could we forget Jack the Stripper?”
I got up from my desk and Gloria followed. “We’re on him,” I said. “We’ll check back with you later.”
“Thanks, Elliott,” Eric said, patting me on the shoulder. He turned to Gloria. “You, too, Gloria.”
“Lock up when you leave, would you, Eric?” I said and headed for the elevator.
“He always been this impatient?” Eric said to Gloria as she locked the office door.
“Always,” Gloria said. “Gotta run.”
Gloria and I drove south to Sunset and west to Cherokee, where I parked around the corner. “How do you want to handle this?” Gloria said.
“I was thinking maybe you could go inside and just hang out for a while,” I said. “You know, see what he does and see if he meets anyone.”
“How will I know him?” Gloria said, and then remembered the photo. “Never mind. I can just look for the carbon copy of Eric.”
“Watch yourself,” I said. “I’ll follow you in about a minute later so it doesn’t look like we came in together. We won’t sit together, either. Keep your phone on but silence the ringer. Put it on vibrate and I’ll do the same with mine. If you need to communicate with me, send me a quick text.”
“Got it,” Gloria said, slipping out of the van and walking toward the entrance to the bar.
I kept an eye on her and notice that as she was going in, Ernie Anderson was coming out. Gloria didn’t make the obvious move by turning around and following him, like I knew she wouldn’t. Ernie was coming my way so I slouched down in the van until he passed in front of me. He walked a short way up the street, stopping occasionally to look in store windows. I didn’t take him for a window shopper. He was probably checking the reflection to see if he was being followed. I stayed where I was. By the time he was three-quarters of a block away, the passenger door of my van opened and Gloria slipped in.
“He’s down there,” I said. “He walked west on Sunset. He may have noticed you when he came out of the bar, so I want you to drive the van. I’m going to try to casually follow him on foot.” I stepped out of the van, watched Ernie until his back was turned and then started walking his way. A few seconds later, Gloria pulled away from the curb at a slow speed.
I found a discarded newspaper lying on the bus stop bench and scooped it up, folding it once and tucking it under my arm. I was just another pedestrian in the crowd. Ernie kept stopping to stare in store windows, so it didn’t take me long to catch up to him. Before I got too far and found myself in front of him, I stepped into a store, left the paper there, removed my jacket and slung it over my arm. I donned a pair of dark glasses and exited the store again. Little changes like that made me a different person as far as Ernie Anderson was concerned.
I noticed that Gloria didn’t stay with us. She had the common sense to turn right on a side street and circle the block. Now she was coming toward us from the opposite direction. Ernie turned left, into the parking lot of a camera store, and then stopped to observe people coming and going. Then he made his move. I noticed the same thing he did. A man in a vintage Corvette got out of his car and ran toward the camera store. Ernie made an immediate beeline for the Corvette, checking the ignition for keys. He must have spotted them dangling there because he had the car’s door open by the time I grabbed him by the elbow.
Just then the Corvette’s owner emerged from the camera store and saw his car door hanging open. He looked at Ernie and then at me. “What’s going on here?” he said. “And what are you doing with my car.”
I pulled Ernie’s arm and turned him toward me. “I told you not to wander off, Ernie,” I said, as if scolding a little boy. Then I turned to the car’s owner and explained, “You’ll have to pardon Ernie. He’s a little slow and he thinks every car is a toy. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” I pulled Ernie away from the car, all the while a dumbfounded look playing on his face.
Once the Corvette pulled out of the lot, Ernie broke free from my grip and looked at me angrily. “Okay,” he said, “what’s the gag? Who the hell are you?”
Gloria pulled into the parking lot just then and stopped next to Ernie and me. The van’s side door slid open and Gloria sat there looking out at the two of us. “Come on, Ernie,” she said. “Get in.”
Ernie started to say something but stopped when he felt the barrel of my gun in his ribs. I nudged him closer to the van. “You heard the lady, Ernie,” I said. “Get in the van.”
Ernie took a quick look at his surroundings and realized he had no options. He stepped up into the van and I followed him in. I gestured toward the back of the van and Ernie complied. I closed the sliding door and Gloria drove off.
“All right,” Ernie said. “This isn’t funny. You let me out of here right now. My brother’s a cop and you’re already in deep trouble.”
I switched my gun to my left hand and fished my cell phone out of my pocket with my right, keeping an eye on Ernie. I dialed Eric’s private cell number and he answered right away. “Got him,” I said. “You were right, he was about to boost a Corvette when we nabbed him. Right, we’ll bring him right away. Where do you want to meet us? Great, make it fifteen minutes? We’ll be there.” I closed the phone and slipped it back in my pocket.
“Look,” Ernie said. “You let me out of here and I won’t tell my cop brother about you. You can drive away clean with no trouble.”
“Just sit there and be quiet,” I said. “This’ll all be over soon enough.”
“But,” Ernie started to say.
I held my index finger to my lips and shook my head. “I said no talking,” I told Ernie.
Ten minutes later Gloria pulled the van into an alley that opened onto Franklin Street. She killed the engine and turned in her seat to face me. “Is he coming?” she said.
I nodded.
“Is who coming?” Ernie said.
“Have a little patience,” I told Ernie. “It’ll be worth the wait.”
Ernie was sweating now and starting to squirm on the carpeted floor of the van. Gloria joined us in the back of the van and sat next to me. She also withdrew her .38 and flipped open the cylinder to see if it was fully loaded before snapping it shut again. She held it casually, but generally pointed in Ernie’s direction.
“You want money?” Ernie said. “Is that what this is about? I can pay you both. It’s not a lot,
but it’s the easiest money you two will ever make.”
“No,” I said. “The easiest money we’ll ever make is when we turn you over. So just sit there and shut up, for the last time.”
We all heard the sound of tires on the pavement outside. A car door slammed and footsteps came closer. Ernie made a dash for the van’s side door just as it opened. He stopped dead in his tracks when he came face to face with his mirror image looking back at him.
“What did I tell you last time?” Eric said to his brother. “I told you to stay out of Los Angeles. I don’t need your kind of trouble around here.”
Gloria and I both holstered our weapons and stepped out of the van, leaving Eric to deal with his troublesome brother. We walked back toward Eric’s sedan and waited. “What do you suppose Eric’s telling him right about now?” Gloria said.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, “but I’ll bet the phrase ‘out of town by sundown’ will surface before Eric’s finished with him.”
“I suppose next he’ll expect us to drive him to the city limits and dump him out in some other town,” Gloria said.
We waited for what felt like an hour but was probably closer to ten minutes before the sliding door slid open again and Eric emerged, pulling Ernie out in cuffs. Eric looked at me. “He doesn’t want to listen to reason,” Eric said. “Looks like we’ll have to use Plan B.”
I played along with Eric’s bluff. “You mean?” I said.
Eric nodded. “Take him for a ride,” Eric said. “A ride he won’t be coming back from.”
I patted the .38 in my underarm holster. “You got it, boss,” I said, playing my part to the hilt.
Eric handed Ernie over to me and then gave me the handcuff keys. “When you’re finished, bring me back the cuffs,” Eric said.
“Right,” I said, helping Ernie back into the van. “I’ll call you when it’s done,” I said, climbing into the van and closing the door behind me.
Gloria got behind the wheel and drove back out onto Franklin, heading toward the freeway. We followed the freeway out of town and drove toward the desert. Gloria and I both saw the truck stop looming ahead in the distance and exchanged a knowing glance. She turned right onto the first gravel road, about half a mile from the truck stop. When we’d gone a few hundred yards, Gloria stopped the van and killed the engine.
“This is as far as you go, Ernie,” I said, reaching for his cuffed hands and unlocking the restraints. I dropped the cuffs and key into my jacket pocket and withdrew my .38, gesturing toward the read double doors with it. “Come on, out.”
“Aw, now wait a minute,” Ernie said. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“Your brother already did all the talking,” I said. “Apparently you don’t know enough to stay out of his jurisdiction and quite frankly, he’s run out of ideas and asked me to handle it. I’ll make sure you never bother him again, now get out.” I edged closer with my gun.
Ernie pulled the back door latch and pushed the rear door open, stepping out onto the dirt road. As I began following him out, Ernie slammed the door on me, knocking me back into the back of the van. He took that opportunity to run as fast as he could down the road, zigzagging as he ran, hoping to make a harder target of himself. I didn’t bother following him, but instead fired two shots, purposely wide enough to miss him. A few second later he was far enough that he was out of sight.
I turned around and caught Gloria’s gaze. “You all right?” she said.
I rubbed my head and straightened out my hair. “Sure,” I said. “Just a little knock on the head. Gees, did you see old Ernie run? That guy’s a jackrabbit when he’s scared.”
“I think it did the trick,” Gloria said. “I don’t think Ernie will be around to embarrass his little brother again.” She paused for a second and then added, “You know, this was kind of fun for a change.”
I laughed, recalling how fast Ernie had run. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s go give Eric the good news.”
Gloria and I drove back to the highway, passing the truck stop again on our way back to town. “You can bet Ernie will lay low until dark and then hitch a ride with the first trucker heading away from L.A.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised if he looked for a truck with New York lettering on it,” Gloria said.
We got back into town an hour later and called Eric from the van. “Problem solved,” I told him. “I think you’ve seen the last of Ernie Anderson.”
“Thank you both so much,” Eric said. “Is he all right?”
“Sure,” I said. “He’ll probably be in the market for a new pair of shorts, but yeah, he’ll be fine. I suspect he’s already in some semi headed east.”
“Can we settle up tomorrow?” Eric said. “I’m beat. I can stop by your office in the morning if that’s all right with you.”
“Forget it,” I said. “You can owe us one.”
“At least let me pay for your gas,” Eric said. “That had to cost you twenty-five or thirty buck just for gas. Now don’t give me an argument. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He hung up before I could voice a complaint.
I closed my phone and turned to Gloria. “He’ll catch us tomorrow,” I said. “You heard what I told him, but he insists on at least paying for our gas.”
“When he comes by tomorrow,” Gloria said, “if he gives you more than gas money, don’t argue with him. Just take it. He’d probably feel funny if you didn’t. Besides, we can always use it. We do have bills of our own, you know.”
“All right,” I agreed. “If it’ll make him happy.”
The following morning as we waited for Eric the phone rang on my desk. “Cooper Investigations,” I said. “Elliott Cooper speaking.”
“Mr. Cooper,” a woman’s voice said, “this is Donna Babcock. Do you remember me? I hired you to find my father so I could check his medical history.”
“Yes, Donna,” I said. “I do remember you. What can I do for you this morning?”
“Nothing, really,” she said. “I just thought you’d be interesting in learning that I went to see a specialist regarding my Trisomy 18 diagnosis.”
“Oh, listen Donna,” I said. “I’m sorry…” I started to say.
“No, don’t be,” Donna said in a more cheerful voice than I’d ever heard out of her. “The specialist I went to told me that whoever diagnosed my condition the first time made a major mistake. Turns out I don’t have it at all.”
“That’s great news,” I said, gesturing toward Gloria to pick up the extension on her desk. She got on the line with me and Donna. “Donna, Gloria got on with us. I’m sure she’d like to hear your good news, too.”
After listening to Donna’s explanation, Gloria said, “That’s wonderful news, Donna. So you don’t have to worry about having the baby after all.”
“That’s right,” Donna said. “I just wanted to share the good news with you folks and to thank you again for your effort on my behalf.”
“Glad we could help,” Gloria said, “even thought we couldn’t get you the information you wanted. Would you call me again after you’ve had the baby? I’d like to hear what you had and know that you’re both healthy and happy.”
“I’ll do that,” Donna said, “and thanks again. Good-bye.”
Gloria and I hung up the phones and looked at each other. “Kind of puts most other little problems into perspective, doesn’t it?” she said.
I walked over and hugged her. “You know,” I said, “I think I’ll put a real effort into trying to be more positive from now on.”
“I’d really appreciate that, Elliott,” Gloria said. “Life’s just too short and uncertain.”
We were still hugging when Lieutenant Anderson walked in on us. He immediately held one hand up to shield his view of us. “Oops,” he said. “Did I interrupt something?”
“Come on in, Eric,” I said. “And no, you didn’t interrupt anything. We were just appreciating each other. You should try it sometime.”
“All right,” Eric said, and pushed me aside. H
e wrapped his arms around Gloria and hugged her.
I pulled them apart. “I meant with your own woman,” I said. “Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a woman, do you? You have a career. That’s a shame, Eric, a real shame. Now go find your own. This one’s mine.”
Eric reached into his pocket and produced several folded bills and handed them to me.
“What’s this for?” I said, counting the bills.
“To cover your gas from yesterday,” Eric said.
“My gas didn’t cost eighty bucks,” I said, trying to hand the bills back to him.
Eric held his palm out toward me. “No,” he said, “you keep it. Gas took another hike this morning and while you’re out filling up, go get yourself something to eat.”
“That still leaves forty dollars too much,” I said. I held two twenties out to him.
Eric reached behind his back and pulled out a pair of cuffs and slapped them on my wrists. “Come on,” he said, “let’s go.”
“What’s all this about?” Gloria said.
“I’m taking your husband in,” Eric told her.
“For what?” I said.
“Resisting compensation,” Eric said. “Where I come from that’s a class D felony. You can tell it to the judge. Don’t make me have to use deadly force, Elliott.”
“All right, all right, I’ll keep it,” I said, tucking the bills into my pocket and holding my cuffed hands out in front of me. “Take these things off, will you?”
Eric unlocked the cuffs and hung them back on his belt. “Gotta run,” he said, slapping my shoulder and opening the office door. Before he left he turned back and said, “I think I may have something else for you later if you’re free.”
“Apparently I’m not,” I said, patting the bills in my pocket, “but I am available.”
Ten days passed and I’d almost forgotten about Melinda Cameron and her quest to dig up my past and assemble it in some kind of order. Then on a Wednesday afternoon as Gloria and I were just about finished with the last of our data entry task, the office door opened and Melinda stepped in carrying a briefcase.
The Complete Cooper Collection (All 97 Stories) Page 289