“Puleeeazze? I really need a drink and I’ve only made $30 in the last two hours. I don’t know what’s wrong with these dudes tonight,” she said sounding defeated.
“Yeah cutey. Get what you want. Sheeit I don’t know what’s wrong wit dees mafuggas either.”
She gave K the most beautiful smile and stood on the foot rail that ran under the bar. She was almost in his lap as she leaned over the bar to get the bartenders attention. What she was really giving him was a bird’s eye view of her real estate. A little more advertising for his investment. He was impressed. She took a peek over her shoulder to make sure he was looking and gave him that smile again. He almost forgot the main reason he was there.
After the bartender brought over their drinks; a Heineken for him and a cranberry juice and vodka for her, they began to converse. She was originally from The BX (Bronx), but attended CW POST, a college only a few miles away. It wasn’t long before the stage lights were dimmed and the DJ made an announcement for Jasmine, the Island Beauty.
“This is my bitch! She about to do her thang! Always steals the show! These white broads can’t stand her cause she make more dough than all o them,” said brown eyes.
Just then K saw the opportunity he was looking for. He pulled out a $tack of bills and placed a $50 in her thong. He then turned her around and pulled her back so her ass was on his dick and wrapped his hands around her waist. She grind her bubble on his crotch and felt him swell. Looking back over her shoulder, she smiled and licked her lips. She had plans on making him peel more from that bankroll.
“Well all my attention is focused on you tonight,” K whispered in her ear.
As the music began, K could see the silhouette of a figure that he literally knew every curve of.
“Fellas. This is what you’ve all been waiting for. The sexy.The mysterious.The exotic.Jasmine!”
Maybe that last drink was a little too strong, Mattie thought to herself as she heard her stage name being announced. Shake it off and get in your zone, she told herself repeatedly as the curtain rose and she was overtaken by the bright light. The applause and whistles of affirmation sent a wave of butterflies through her stomach. The liquor helped but could never totally take away the feeling of nervousness she sometimes felt while on stage. It wasn’t long before the sound of the music pumping through the speakers mixed with the weed and liquor tuned out her reality.
She moved with erotic grace and her body spoke in volumes to every man and many women who watched her perform. Midway through her set she began to work the bar surrounding the stage collecting 10’s,20’s, and 50’s. She always felt funny when she would get tips from her co-workers that were working the paying customers for drinks and tips, but never would she turn down a dollar. Mattie was collecting and tossing bills center stage and almost froze when she saw Raven at the bar with a big black bald guy whispering in her ear. His head was down so she couldn’t see his face but that was a head she had seen between her legs far too many times not to know.
Deep down Mattie was hoping that the alcohol was really working overtime on her imagination. She was about ten feet away, but one of her regular customers was engaged in battle with her and and what she was witnessing for her attention. Her eyes were winning and locked in on Raven and her customer. When K looked up and locked eyes with Mattie, She was paralyzed by jealousy and literally froze in her tracks.
When K and MattIe locked eyes, he felt all the love, hate, pain, and abandonment of the past five months of his life overwhelm him all at once. Raven smiled at Mattie and blew her a kiss as she performed.
“Work that shit gurrrl!” Raven screamed out to Mattie.
K could clearly see the rage in Mattie’s face when she saw Raven’s ass pushed back on his dick. As Mattie stormed off the stage the patrons at the club screamed out boo’s and shouts of disapproval.
“Dam! I wonder what that was all about?I ain’t never seen Jaz trip like that over nuthin. She’s usually cool as ice,” said Raven sipping on her drink.
K shrugged, smiled, and took a sip of his Heineken. He knew Mattie was a tough chick too, but her reaction had also caught him a little by surprise. The DJ came over the sound system apologizing for the delay in the show and promised it would continue momentarily. As soon as the DJ started to play the music again Raven turned to face K.
“So what do you have planned for the evening mister?”
“I’ve got some biz to tend to later, but-“
K saw what was about to happen, but was powerless to stop Mattie as she swung the box cutter in her raised hand, bringing the blade down across Raven’s face tearing her cheek open. It happened too fast for him to react.
“Get da fuck away from my man bitch!” Mattie screamed in an erratic rage.
Raven grabbed her cheek and cried out in shock. It was useless. The gash made by the blade began to bleed heavily. Mattie attempted to swing again. This time K caught her wrist.
“Fuck you niggah! Get da fuck off me! How you gonna be up in here with this bitch all up in your face?!”
“Calm the fuck down before yo crazy ass go to jail!” K barked.
His guess was the word jail brought her somewhat back to her senses. The look of recognition on her face said that she knew she fucked up. She heard the cop from MENACE TO SOCIETY’S voice in her head as clear as day. You know you fucked up right. K grabbed her arm and they rushed through the crowd headed for the door. Mattie had obviously left the stage and prepared herself to fight. She’d changed from her heels to her tims (Timberlands boots) and was right on K’s heels as they knocked down whoever got in their way. K saw the huge bouncers standing at the door blocking the exit.
“Stop them!” somebody shouted from the bar area.
K saw the look on Mattie’s face, realizing that she was probably about to go to jail.
POP! POP! POP! Came the sound from the entrance behind the bouncers.
“Getdafuk against the wall bitchass muscle mafuckas!” said Blass swinging the Smith and Wesson, pointing it at each of the bouncers.
They threw up their hands reluctantly in surrender and moved to the side so K and Mattie could pass through. As they ran out of the entrance Blass followed letting off two more shots in the ceiling. They ran across the parking lot like they had just robbed the joint and jumped in the rental. As they exited the club headed towards the highway, they could see police strobe lights rapidly approaching in the distance.
CHAPTER 5
After they got back to the hood, Blass told K to drop him off at his girls crib. Blass was still trippin after K told him how the situation unfolded in the club.
“Yo Mat. You a crazy bitch ma! I always knew you had some gangsta in you cause you fucks wit my man…but dam! You blew shorty whole face open!”
Mattie gave Blass an evil stare from the backseat, but didn’t respond. She knew he was just clownin’. After Blass was dropped off they hit the highway. As they drove westbound on the L.I.E. headed towards the city, she was quiet. There was so much to say, but it was like neither one of them knew where to start. It didn’t help K’s thought process that she was still wearing the outfit she’d performed in. Dam she’s sexy, he thought.
“Man what the hell happened to you? You just up and disappeared after you moved otta my parents crib. I was fucked up worrying about you,” K said.
Now she did finally look him square in his eyes. If K hadn’t seen the pain before, he saw it now in the tears welling up in her eyes.
“You were fucked up? You…were…fucked…up?! Niggah, I was homeless, lonely, broke, and extremely confused about my life and future. You know me better than anybody and you know I don’t like to depend on nobody for shit! I put all my faith and trust in you, and your so called peoples break in our house and steal every dime you had stashed for our future. You knew I wasn’t gonna be no broke hungry bitch and I don’t sell drugs. So basically I’ve just been surviving the best way I know how. It was never my intention to hurt you. I loved you and you were always good
to me,” said Mattie clearly distraught.
Now it was his turn to be speechless. Her reality had been something that he had selfishly overlooked. The silence between them was deafening. He chose his next words carefully as she stared out the passenger side window.
“Look. I’m sorry. I’ve only been looking at this one sided. I know that shit must have got real stressful for you. Maybe we can find somewhere we can park and talk,” he said understanding her point of view.
Mattie nodded her head quietly in agreement as they drove towards the tollbooths of the Midtown Tunnel. As the lights of the New York City skyline came into view, the realization that it was Friday night hit him.
“It should be a blunt rolled up in the ashtray if you tryin ta blow..”
Mattie had pushed in the lighter and opened the ashtray in one swift motion. A few seconds later she was taking deep, lung smashing drags of Kush. almost immediately the reality of her slashing Raven at the club hit her.
“Dam, I reeeally fucked up this time. I know that cut is gonna leave a permanent scar on her. Not to mention my home address is on file at the club from my application. The cops are definitely gonna be lookin for a bitch,” she said.
“Man, I wasn’t expecting you to do no crazy shit like that! I mean I was tryin to make you jealous, but not like that!”
“I don’t know what came over me. I know I wasn’t prepared for those emotions that attacked me when I saw her all between your legs and smiling like I used to be….I mean…” she said stumbling over her words.
She looked away ashamed.
“You gon be aight, but we gotta get somewhere and find you a sweat suit or t-shirt or sumn. I can’t stay focused with you sittinover there dressed like that,” K said seriously.
That got a smile out of her. It was almost midnight when they hit 8th Avenue and the only places open that sold clothes were tourist novelty stores. K double parked, ran in and bought Mattie an I LOVE NY shirt. After that they headed down towards Greenwich Village. They cruised up and down NYC streets expressing how they felt for a couple of hours. If this would have happened then maybe this would have happened. Or if this wouldn’t have happened, then this wouldn’t have happened. But the reality was what had happened had happened, and the past couldn’t be changed.
Finally they came to the conclusion that maybe it was at least worth attempting to rebuild the bond that the untimely incarceration had taken away from them. K could tell that Mattie had reservations about the possibility of the same sequence of events happening again. But the one thing that they understood was that they were each other’s weakness.
“Look, I got a room that I rent out in West Babylon from Jeff and Marcie. We can stay there or get a hotel room for a couple o days until we find an apartment,” he stated as they headed out of the city.
“Well I know you just came home and you lost everything when you got locked up. I don’t want to be a burden..”
“A burden?” K asked in disbelief.
“Well I know I don’t have a job anymore. Plus the police are gonna be lookin for me for that dumb shit I did.”
“Don’t worry about bread ma. This is me and you know how I boogie. Aint shit change. You just gonna lay low for a couple weeks til this shit blow ova. I mean it aint like they gonna put out a APB on you for cutting a bitch.”
Mattie had always been cautious and one of the reasons that they connected so well was because K wasn’t reckless when it came to shit involving the police. Plus K had a sweet connect with the Nigerians on the fake ID’s and passports. They found their resting place for the night in Queens, off the Grand Central Parkway at the Parson’s Blvd. exit. After pulling into the parking lot of the hotel K went and paid for the room. When he returned with the key they went to the second floor and entered the room.
“You get comfortable and relax while I run over to Supthin Blvd and grab sumn to blow,” said K.
She went in the room and turned to face him in the doorway. Mattie pulled K close and stared directly in his eyes.
“Baby, please don’t leave me lost again,” she said giving him a long passionate kiss.
Once they separated, K reached in his pocket and pulled out the $taxxx of bills he had taken with him to the club. K removed the rubber band and opened it to the middle. He removed five big faces and handed her the rest.
“That’s just in case sumn happens to me,” he stated sincerely.
“Just hurry up. I’m gonna take a shower and I’ll be here waiting for you,” she said taking the wad of cash.
She understood the message in the gesture; implying that he would take every precaution to make sure she was OK as long as she was willing to put faith back in him. The truth was, K was a good dude with resentments against a chosen few and attempting to reclaim the woman that he felt was his. He felt like niggahs he made sure ate, were dead wrong to shit on him. This changed his perception of the two terminologies love and friend. Now they owed him and he would get what was due. As K hopped into the rental to go cop the trees, he remembered the words his man 40 ounce Rich had told him about Mattie and that Haitian dude Dutty.
“Yeah she was up in the BLACK HERITAGE CLUB drunk as shit and went in the bathroom with Dutty. They were in there for about a half hour. Niggahs kept bangin on the door and shit but it was locked. You already know what was up,” 40 had said.
It was just another one of those life lessons that K would learn the hard way. You don’t ask questions that you really don’t want the answers to.
“So what happened when they came out the bathroom?” K asked.
“They both came out laughing and left together,” said 40 confirming K’s worst conclusion. The imagination is a unique and sometimes vicious animal, and mixed with an emotional visual can plant a seed that roots and meshes with your soul. As K drove the rental he did battle with conflicting emotions.
At a time when most where asleep, Supthin Blvd was alive and poppin with late night activity. In an area as heavily burdened with crime as this part of Queens, you would think that there would be at the very minimum some police presence. K pulled up on the strip and parked behind two brand new S 550 Mercedes Benz sedans. One was money green. The other was fish scale white. From the looks of things, the weed biz wasn’t doing too badly. K went in and copped four bags and a box of dutchess. While exiting the store he heard the distinct sound of gunfire off in the distance a few blocks away. Another life probably ended. More than likely over what many labeled the root of all evil. Sliding into the rental and pulling away from the curb, K wistfully pondered what an uncertain future held for him.
CHAPTER 6
After K left the hotel room Mattie rushed over and picked up the hotel phone and dialed her sister Reebie. When Mattie heard the call go to the answering machine she was going to hang up but decided to leave a message.
“Hi Reebie… man I fucked up big this time… I really need to talk to you. I’m at a hotel in Queens with Kevin. Call me at this number as soon as you get this message. 718-“
“Hey, hold up girl… with Kevin? What happened I thought you were done fucking with him?” Stated Reebie. The joking sarcasm was clear in her voice.
“Not now bitch, I’m really going through something, “said Mattie making it clear that she wasn’t up for Reebie clowning her for going back on her word. They talked for the next ten minutes and Mattie filled Reebie in on all the events that happened, from her losing her I.D.; all the way up to Blass shooting up the club. Reebie had gone to middle school and high school with Pook and Blass so she already knew that they were loose cannons.
“So what you going to do,” Reebie inquired worried about her big sister.
“I’m just gonna play it by ear and see how it plays out. You know I love this niggah but a bitch aint trying to be hurt no more for real.”
“Well do you want to meet me somewhere so I can bring you some clothes?”
“I’ll call you in the morning and let you know something more definite. I really need to know
if and when the police come looking for me. So answer the dam phone! If you wasn’t giving pussy away and turning them niggas out like that, you wouldn’t have to screen all your calls, “said Mattie.
“I’m a dickaholic! I need counseling!” said Reebie half joking-half serious.
“You are terrible hoe, but I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow “said Mattie and ended the conversation.
Mattie rose from the bed, went into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. She smiled reminiscing back to the times when she would take long hot passion filled showers with K and how happy she felt whenever they were together. She caught her reflection in the mirror and had to admit that she hadn’t smiled that genuine smile in a long time. Fuck it she thought you only live once. She thought of all the twists and turns life had taken her through at such a young age. Life was the sum total of the experiences that one goes through up until the present. She really wanted to be happy but the main thought that controlled her subconscious was do I deserve to be happy? This subliminal was deeply rooted in the misplaced humiliation of the sexual abuse that she had been subjected to as a young girl.
Still it was good to see that smile again. She decided to make the best of the circumstances. After removing the little bit of clothing she was wearing, Mattie stepped into the steamy shower. She stood under the hot water and let stream relax her. Ten minutes later she was lying on the bed with a towel wrapped around her watching television.
By the time K had pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, he had run through all the possible scenarios that could result in attempting to rebuild their relationship. At the very worst he figured they would go on with their separate lives. But in the best case, if he could get past his feelings of betrayal, it would be the reuniting of Bonnie and Clyde. Once he finally reached the hotel room door he realized that who he had constantly reflected upon and dreamed about being with during his incarceration was about to be reality. The fact that they were both freaks in the bedroom, only enhanced the reality that there wasn’t any fantasy that Mattie hadn’t been willing to fulfill for her man.
It Was All A Dream et-1 Page 3