by Tina Smith
He didn’t respond, just nodded and I caught a glimpse of a hazel grey-green eye studying me before I flicked the pen and began to write my notes onto the pristine paper as fast as possible. He pulled down the sleeve of his hoodie, covering the scars as he focused on the teacher. He didn’t take notes, but continued to stare ahead, as if entranced by the motions and squeaks of Professor Hardin, his name now stamped on the very top of the long sentences he’d hastily slashed onto the shiny white board.
My hand cramped and I dropped my pen onto the notebook, letting out a breath as I listened to the professor begin his long spiel of what was expected in Political Science class, so on and so forth. When he decided to grab a stack of syllabuses from his desk to pass out, I took the liberty to peek over at mystery guy next to me.
“He seems hardcore, don’t you think?” I asked.
One green-grey eye flicked at me, twinkling with curiosity and maybe some amusement. I couldn’t be sure. The other one was hidden under strands of jet black hair.
“I’m Ruby, by the way.” I held out my hand for a shake, but his lack of reaction left me hanging for a moment too long before he eventually reached out and touched my hand with his rough, firm one. He didn’t tell me his name. What the hell? “And you are…?”
That one eye blinked.
“Oh, sorry. I’m Matthias.”
His shake was short and he abruptly pulled away, tucking his hands into his sides as he crossed his arms. My hand remained suspended in air, leaving me wondering if I stunk that day or had something stuck on my face from breakfast. Easing my hand back down, I glanced at the professor just in time to get the stack of syllabuses plopped into my hands from the person two desks away from me.
I took one and handed the rest to Matthias. What an unusual name. Do I call him Matt? It seemed old world or something. Either way, he took the stack from me and turned to hand it to the row behind us. He flipped through the pages, one of his hands covered in a fingerless, black glove. He was still wearing his hoodie with the top on and had it zipped tight to the very top. His dark jeans were baggy and hung over his grey sneakers. Nothing about him stood out, like he purposely wanted to fade into the background.
I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. The thought made me peer down at my outfit. A bright pink and white blouse along with tight white jeans fitting me like a glove accentuated my curvy hips. Add a sparkly diamond ‘R’ for my name hanging from my neck and a few silver rings of a variety of designs, matching earrings with a large bar going from one end of my right ear to the other and a nose ring on top of it all, I lived to stand out.
I loved to talk and had tons of friends in high school, but this was my first class of my first day of college. I lacked the grades for the University scholarship and the funds too, since my parents died when I was too young to remember them. Foster care homes tossed me about, handing me over to the next one in line as I grew too old to deal with and outgrew my welcome. Now, I was on my own, working my way through my first semester with my waitressing job at the local bar dive.
Still, Reno was a good sized town and I hoped I could get the hell out of it soon enough. In the meantime, I had a nice little studio apartment to crash in and was able to pay my college tuition a semester at a time. I could say I was lucky enough to get some hella good tips from flirting with the patrons who frequented the dive I worked at.
Matthias continued to stare at the Professor and never took down one note the entire session. As the time approached for the class to end, I put away my stuff in a Hawaiian themed purple and white backpack before sitting up to ask him what class he had next, but he was already gone.
“Hey…” My voice faded and I caught but a flash of his dark grey hoodie as he disappeared out the door faster than I could say anything. I sighed, swung my backpack over my shoulder and descended the steps.
Epic fail on finding out more about the cute, mystery guy. Way to go Ruby.
Chapter 3. Matthias
I tried to stop thinking about the girl. She wasn’t what I needed to think about right now. I yanked off the hoodie and dropped it onto the messy bed, which dominated the room. It was a tiny studio apartment, but had everything I needed. I’d done nothing to decorate it. It sat untouched, mostly, with the same darkening curtains which come standard in these places. There was a small kitchenette on one wall and a small bathroom with a tub near the door. A single flat screen TV sat on the dark wooden chest of drawers where I’d dumped the contents of my one duffle bag I used when I traveled.
I’d chosen to stay here longer than just a few days because frankly, I was tired of moving around. I’d never settled anywhere, never got close to anyone, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t done with it all. I just wanted to breathe and sit still for just a while. Hence, I’d done something I never thought I’d ever do. Enroll in college. What the hell I’d been thinking doing that, I’d never know. I wanted to integrate, somehow, back into society. I thought college would be the best way to do it.
What a mistake.
I was drawn to her the moment I saw her. Ruby smelled amazing, and I’d scanned the room but once when she appeared, I was immediately captured and compelled to sit next to her. I couldn’t say why, but it felt right. I hated to think I could fall for the first girl I saw, but it wasn’t that way. I’d seen thousands of women in the centuries I’d been alive. I had prostitutes throw themselves at me and never felt any connection to any of them. Why, with this one, had I suddenly felt fear and doom creep up on me? She was different and I hoped I’d find out why.
I shook it off and pulled my shirt off, exposing the dozens of scars crisscrossing my abdomen and slashed across my chest and back. The never ending ropes of scars marred every inch of my skin, all stitched up looking like a freak collage. The mirror hanging on the wall was a full length one and I caught a glimpse of myself on it. My face wasn’t spared from the tangle of scars and I lifted my chin to face myself in the reflection. My dark hair was getting long and it hit my chin, partially covering one side of my face. I pushed it away and stared into my unusually colored eyes. They were both hazel, but one was more brown hazel and the other was a deep emerald green hazel.
If Ruby knew the origins of this body, she’d run screaming like a banshee and have me committed. It was a painful reminder that I’d never be normal, not like the other guys around here. I laid down my walls years ago to keep everyone out. Even if I wanted to let her in, it was impossible. There’d be no acceptance from a normal person like her of a monster like me.
I looked away and sat on the crumpled bed. I had homework in both the classes I was taking, and I figured I’d get it done before dinner. I yanked out the syllabuses from my backpack and stared at the assignments. Pulling out the thick textbooks too, I flipped to the appropriate pages and scanned them faster than humanly possible. Cracking my fingers, I set to work. No problem.
Over a century ago, I’d taught myself to read. Slowly and painfully the letters morphed into words and I’d enjoyed reading thick volumes of adventures to wear the hours away. Now, it’d come in handy. I’d learned dozens of languages since then and I still craved learning more.
Fifteen minutes later, the questionnaires for two chapters were done. I had an impeccable memory and could speed read faster than anyone I’d ever met. This was going to be a breeze to pass college. Though I’d never aspired to be a college graduate, it was something to do. I just hoped other things wouldn’t get in the way and muck it all up.
Like the Others.
I shook the thought off and scanned the tiny fridge for anything edible. Besides an old half eaten sandwich I wrinkled my nose at, the shelves were bare. I slammed the door, huffing in disgust. I had to go out to get something to consume that wouldn’t remotely kill me.
At that, I laughed. Not much could kill me. I’d been alive long enough and yet, nothing had done me in yet. Not even me.
I sighed. The memories were always the worst part of being alone. They always flooded my mind and
drowned me in their endless echoes. Immortality was insanity at best.
Pulling on another shirt and the same old hoodie, I headed out my door. Locking it, I turned and froze in my steps. The girl, Ruby, was at the other end of the hall cursing and huffing at the mess in front of her. Having just had one of the cheap plastic grocery bags she’d been precariously carrying split wide open, sending the entirety of the contents rolling across the floor. Her face was reddened as she shook her head.
“Shit!” she muttered. Her hands were still full and she continued to rage, setting it all down on the carpet before she started piling the fallen items into her arms.
I ran over to help her. Normally, I would never do this, I’d walk on by and never gave a person a second glance. But, I couldn’t do it now. Not to this girl. I immediately began snatching cans, boxes and other stuff up into my arms, but she barely noticed until her arms were almost full and she looked up.
“Listen, thanks. Stupid cheap bags! I always forget to bring my reusable ones…” She stopped talking, and I found her eyes staring at me with her mouth dangling open. “Oh, it’s you.”
It was me alright.
I couldn’t speak, but managed a half smile for her. I wasn’t sure if she was upset at seeing me or just surprised
“Matthias right?”
I managed to nod as we both stood up. My arms were full, but I held them out to her, as if she could even take the stuff from me with her arms overflowing with items, too. It wasn’t one of my slick moments.
“Err. One sec.” She dropped the bags in one arm and reached into her purse to yank out a keychain with so many trinkets on it, I was sure it took up the entire space of the bag. She managed to wiggle out the key to her door and turned the lock before shoving the door open with her butt.
“Come on in. Just dump it on the table.” She dumped her own bunch on her bed and returned to the hall to grab the rest of the bags.
I laid the cans and boxes on the small breakfast table and peered around. It mirrored my own studio apartment, but hers was decorated whereas mine was still bare and sterile. Bright yellow drapes dangled from the windows letting an abundance of natural light in, I had to squint while staring at it. The table was a nice, light wood color with matching chairs. Her kitchen had a pink and purple flower theme with matching items all over, like a flower bed puked all over it. Even the hand towels matched, along with her bed, a purple rose fusion color scheme all over. It was more girly than anything else I’d ever been near in my entire life.
The sound of her clearing her throat jolted me back.
“I’m sorry?” I didn’t hear what she’d said.
“I said…thank you for helping me out. I hope I didn’t make you late for anything.”
I bowed my head in a nod before I gave it a shake.
“No, not at all. I was just about to get a bite to eat.” I peered up, finding her still staring at me. It’s more of a curious stare as she studied what little of my face she could see. “I’ll be going now.”
I waved toward the door and turned, stepping back. I didn’t want to leave, but what reason did I have to stay?
“Wait!” Her voice made me stop in my tracks but I didn’t want to turn around. A wave of dread passed through me. I couldn’t do this again…to let anyone in. It only ended in heartache and madness. “Hey if you help me put the groceries away, I’ll go with you. I’m famished and I hate to cook after shopping. Kind of ironic I know.”
I cranked my head back around while the feelings conflicted inside. A battle ensued. A part of me wanted to keep going while the other part screamed at me to stay and do whatever she asked. I didn’t respond for what felt like an ocean of forever while my heart quickened its beat. Her azure eyes drew me in and all I wanted to do was reach out and brush the flyaways from her face. So much so, my fingers tingled.
“Um…”
“What do you say?” Her hand slid onto my shoulder, jerking me out of my indecision, but I unfortunately moved away from her just as fast. The surprise on her face made me panic, and I scrambled for an excuse.
“Sure, if you want to…” One would think I had a larger vocabulary after all these centuries. But immortality was lonely, and I had zero social skills. Especially with women.
“Yeah, silly.” She grinned, giving me a little chuckle. I felt my face burn. Lifting my chin up, I took a better look at this girl. She looked practically harmless. “It’s nice you were here to help me out. Thank you.”
“You’re welcomed.” My voice came out low and gruff, like I hadn’t spoken in years. I really hadn’t. It felt foreign and odd, but I lowered my gaze away from her studious face, hoping my fears wouldn’t show on my own. There was no doubt she was studying my scars, the visible ones at least. It always made me panic when others began their inquisitive examination of me, but this time, I shoved the trepidation away before I ended up bolting like a fool
“So…Where do you want to eat?” She’d begun to shove her groceries away and I followed suit, grabbing the nearest bag off the table to peek inside. It was full of boxes of mac and cheese and other boxed pastas. She really loved her processed food. Making my way over to the cabinets lining one wall of her studio, I reached out to open the first one. It was full of dishes staring back at me so I moved to the next one. Here I found only cups.
“Where’s your boxed stuff at?”
“Oh, they go in the bottom left cabinet, next to the stove.” She motioned me over as she shoved a half gallon of milk into the fridge. “Here, these go in there too.” A box of ramen noodles landed on the counter in front of me and I added it to the shelf. “Thanks for the help, again. I tend to overload each time I go shopping.”
I nodded and tried to smile, hoping I wasn’t going to scare her off. I’m sure I looked like my face was all stiff and unmoving, but I just didn’t have too many reasons to be happy most the time so I just didn’t smile much. The scars had long healed, yes, and were pliable, light and soft, but I wished their harsh appearance would’ve faded with time, too.
“So what’s your story?”
Here it comes.
I shrugged and placed some canned soups into the cabinet with other similar items.
“No story.” The rustling of the bags as I fished another lot of food items out of to shove into her messy cabinets made a racket in the expansive silence.
“Oh, come on,” she groaned. “Everyone has a story.” Ruby dumped the empty plastic bags into a small can lined up against the wall behind her breakfast table labeled ‘Recyclable plastic’.
“For example. Me, I’m stuck working through college because I don’t have parents to pay my way. I’ve worked my butt off since I can remember to keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. I’m always wondering where my next paycheck might come from but right now, at least it’s a stable job at the diner that keeps me fed. Tips are awesome.” She sucked in a breath, her hand on her hip as she continued to stare at me. “What about you?”
“I’m not that interesting.”
“Ha!” She laughed. “I doubt that.”
She walked toward me and yanked at my hood. I flinched immediately. What was that about? Before she could reach me again, I grabbed her wrist. Her shock spilled out of her eyes, so blue and bright, like life hadn’t brought her down yet, even through her hardships. I loved the innocence in them, the way that life hadn’t hardened her soul quite yet. I hoped it never did.
“I’m sorry.” She retrieved her hand and dropped it to her side. I wanted to take it into mine and hold it against my cheek. The urge overwhelmed me, but I fought it and nothing surfaced across my face. Instead, I reached up and pulled my hood down, letting my face show completely, except where the long strands of black locks covered half of it.
Amazingly, she reached out and pushed the strands away from my scarred face, tucking them softly behind my ear. Her touch sizzled across my skin and I wanted to feel it again. In fact, as she stood back to take me in, and I already missed the sensation she
caused with her fingers.
“What happened to you?” she whispered, her voice soft, tender and unafraid. Even her expression was not one of disgust or horror, it was more of admiration and curiosity. That alone made me want to confide the world in her.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
“Try me. I’ve seen many things.” Her face was serious and as I studied her expression, not sure of what to think. It hardened and showed me a totally different side of her. Even her eyes darkened, like a stormy sky readying for a violent storm. There’s something there I wanted to know more of. So much so that I felt my barriers crumble with ease.
“Okay,” I cleared my thoughts and turned toward the door. “How about we talk over dinner? I’m famished.”
Her smile returned, but the storm remained. Yet, it looked less of a tornado and more of a pleasant summer rain drizzling in her eyes. So many things in those eyes. I’m enraptured.
“Sounds like a plan.”
Chapter 4. Ruby
He was already my addiction. I knew this the moment I saw him in class. To know he was just down the hall from me was like dangling a carrot in front of a starving horse. Was it normal to crave someone this much? Especially a stranger with more secrets than anyone should own. I wanted to peel off his layers, one by one, bit by bit until his inner core was exposed for me to take, raw and ready for the taking, and cradle it inside my very soul. It felt like a built in obsession burning like embers, which could grow to a blazing wildfire with little to no coaxing, and I was more than ready to burn for it.
We walked out of our apartment building and down the road where the neighborhood café Rosie’s was open. The dinner crowd was waning and there was plenty of booths to sit in where we could talk privately. The waitress waved us to have our pick of a booth so we picked one in a far corner where no one could hear us. Sliding into the squeaky pleather booth, I lifted the menu and scanned it for what I wanted to eat. I was famished and a juicy burger was the only thing that could squash my hunger. Placing the menu down, I eyed Matthias. He was a curious creature; the way he kept his head down and avoided people at all costs. The way his eyes peeked past the heavy strands of obsidian locks and twinkled when they found me staring right back.