by Kilie Sams
I made my way in as a couple made their way out, both sporting afros, I felt like I had time travelled and stepped into the 70s peace signs hippies and all. A small faced gentleman was at the mike talking about someone’s earlier performance and introducing a “one of our own.” And Veronica went up to the mike. “It’s her first time up here, let’s show her some love people” the waitress approaching me as I took a seat out of sight began to hoot, so did a few. I heard a gentleman yell “GO Veronica!!!!!” from somewhere I couldn’t see. Her first time? She looked different. No makeup, bare her hair down, tucked behind her ears, a red summer dress that went all the way to her ankles covering her legs. I’ve never met that Veronica. She looked like the virgin Mary, if I knew what Mary looked like, she was probably as fragile, her face though shy, looked pensive as she stared into the single light that illuminated the stage unlike the soft lighting everywhere else. She wore no jewellery, she looked delicate. Her dress swaying as she began to rock gently closing her eyes as a soft instrumental I wasn’t familiar with began to play from speakers I couldn’t locate. She held the mike her eyes close her face upturned and opened her mouth. The voice I heard was unfamiliar... Raspy, sensual, aching.
He, makes me wanna do dumb things
Stupid things,
He makes my body sing,
Humming as he, he touched my skin
Mhhhmm, I close my eyes and all I see is him
Am I a fool to? To,
Want to give myself to him,
Has me swooning about the melody he brings
Like a mummy I’m petrified by his skin
His, dark melanin he was a stallion
Long legged champion
His eyes are a millennium of shooting stars
My sun, I rotate around him
I am a sinner by day and an angel by night
I want to bare my skin and give my crimson to him
His voice, mhhmm I’m trembling
The thought of being a prisoner
I belong to him
My lips, my, my body they belong to him
Oh, how my mind revolves around him
I want to be slave to his voice
He has pretty much my everything
What’s this, it’s just the beginning
I’m going to take him, I’m his but
Ohh he’s mine every inch and atom of him
I am a sinner, the grim reaper
A flesh eater I’ll consume him
Mine
This lust is getting to my mind
Temptation never look so good even in hindsight
We’re gonna touch a little different tonight
He’s gonna be my master
Control my body for the night
I’ve never felt so dirty but
I, I like it I, I want it
I’m officially a sinner cause tonight
I’ll give in to my deepest desires.
Who was that girl? I watched scared stiff, my mind was a chaotic jumble of immediate thoughts. Of questions of, amazement. I was impressed. I wasn’t impressed easily. But most of all I wanted to fuck her even more. As I listened to her swooning about being taken and giving in to her desires I wondered how?!. First time? How?! How long had she been writing? She was great. I had to admit it, I know I haven’t heard many poets of her kind but there was no questioning how good she was. Women mostly were in agreement by the shouts of “Yes Girl!” and the very loud “mmmhhmmms” and all the snapping going on, some even clapping until she had to pause and then continued when they calmed. The entire time she’d kept her eyes closed and the entire time my dick was hard. I watched the seductive way her lips moved, how they were slightly parted when she paused. I knew the poem was about me. Call me cocky but her words, her body language the way she touched her lips and held her dress tightly as she spoke ever so slowly reflected the way her eyes set a blaze, I could she her body setting a blaze that very same way. And so was the tingling in my balls. I was set ablaze and I’m sure any couple here would be going home to fuck with her passion stuck in their minds. I wanted to fuck listening to her. I wanted her. And now. But I knew she wasn’t ready. Not yet. Call Claire? I must.
Without waiting for her to finish I left, I couldn’t afford for her to see me either way. She cannot know I’ve seen her bare her soul at a poetry show case. She looked too fragile, but too sexy. I was going to break her. And then make her. She’d get to keep the poetry. She had to. I’d break her in and soon. Before I lost it.
Before I could get out the door I called Claire and she was on her way. I rode speedily and by the time I got there she was waiting by my door. I opened it
“Inside.”
I had made Claire silent tonight. I didn’t want her voice ruining the replaying imagine and sound of Veronica up on that stage. Upon entry I gagged her, stripped her and kept her back to me, still a beautiful view. When I was done with her, I left her in the play room and went to sleep in my decoy bed. When I woke up the next morning she was gone. Good. Veronica, sighing I made my way to the shower, showering Claire and the smell of myself away. I had been gentle, soft on her. Soft on what I had pretended was Veronica. No slaps, no ties. I held her in place pinned her to my sheets and grinded into her pussy until she exploded on my dick and until my balls exploded into the condom.
Working today was easy; I had been in high spirits. My co-workers noticed. I vaguely remember seeing Claire in the canteen. We didn’t speak; I don’t have conversations with her at work either way. I might say a small hi if we are close enough in the line but other than that I’d smile at her a way that I knew gave her butterflies. She was so predictable, readable. Nothing like Veronica. With her quite her pussy had done me well last night. I was definitely in a good mood. Plus it was Friday; the office was always peppy on a Friday with everyone looking forward to the weekend.
I felt like doing something new today. I hit T up to see what he’d been up to. He’d gone to his kid’s football match and as making his way home. Though he was but a mechanic he was an ideal husband, you see him or hear him talk about that boy and Shelly, you automatically see the white picket fence. We made plans to go chill at a strip club later on that night off the strip; both of us going solely to look and enjoy a few drinks. I wasn’t trying to have some chick on my lap getting my dick hard and he wasn’t trying to go home smelling like another woman and having Shelly-Ann killing his black half Indian ass. Boys will be boys, but we don’t play with any toy. He’d usually same “Amen to that my nigga” in his heavy accent. I always wondered if he was just afraid of her why he’d been that faithful, Shelly didn’t attract me in anyway. But every man has his own thing that tickles his fancy and by the way he spoke Shelly-Ann tickled all of his. I shook the very thought as it tried to creep up on me.
Chapter 4
Dream or Make Believe
Claire Bell
Wow... What was that? Last night, was too amazing, short lived but amazing all the same. Bill had called me, not too late at night, Adam wasn’t home. Where was he? I didn’t know. I didn’t care. He sounded winded, desperate, wanting. We didn’t speak, he just had me from behind, and it was different, magical. He, he made love to me. Did he? Was that what that was? What had gotten into him? Was this happening for real? Did he just fall in love with my pussy or me? Was it even possible was I being naive? I don’t think I was. People wake up and realise they are making stupid mistakes all the time. What if this was going to be my happy ending?
The conversation had gone, the instructions had gone.
“Are you home?”
“Yes sir”
“Shower get dressed, jogging clothes, whatever you must. You need to be by the loft now.” What? Huh? Now? He calls randomly all the time but I had gotten used to a pattern. Thursday night? Work next morning? He wanted me... I went willingly. I’d deal with Adam whenever it is he decided to come home. If he did. I went to my neighbour and asked her to watch Alex he could play with her little girl Joy. I took off in
shorts and a half of top. Drove at every speed limit, I wasn’t trying to get a ticket but I was trying to get some buddy. I giggled to myself.
He ball gagged me by the door pulled my clothes off. Pulled his off all in the darkness of his living room and then we made our way to the master bedroom.
I sang to myself in the copying room “Tonight we’re gonna do something different; tonight we’re gonna touch a little different.” Humming my way through the day. Things were looking up, oh finally. I shook the feeling of disbelief I had been feeling. This was not a dream, if it was I never intended to wake up. Adam had come home. My where about hadn’t been in question, I got back before he came in at eleven forty-two. Safe. I was looking forward to a good weekend. My boss had even noticed.
“Ms. Bell? It was a good night?” She jokingly asked a little before my lunch time. I relived the slow pace Bill had put on me. It was different, good different. I wasn’t embarrassed; I was fucked the right way last night. I hope it continues this way and on. Maybe I won’t feel the need to go back to Adam any more. Though I still didn’t know how Bill felt about kids. When he found out I was pregnant. I was banished to some extent, no calls nothing. Did he know what the sex drive of a woman in her third trimester was like? I had a hard delivery, Adam hadn’t touched me either. My motivation to get my body back after the baby had worked. After all celebs do it all the time.
I sighed in bliss; I saw his tall darkness in the canteen wetting myself just seeing him. Women got butterflies, I got fluids. He didn’t see me but seeing him had me wanting him to cock me up in the tea room and milking me. I smirked. I could be a slut sometimes. Slutty in the good way of course. I smiled my hips in full swing today, not paying anyone any mind. I was finally getting my man, THE man. Things couldn’t get any better.
When I think about it, there’s always room for improvement. I was getting ahead of myself.
I thought about going to visit him at the office but I know how he dislikes having his time being wasted. Maybe I could just go visit my old colleagues. I went. He wasn’t there. I however said hi to all the familiar faces, I saw his new assistant... she was everything I wasn’t I wondered if he’d been fucking her. Then I remember his policy. She looked a little over dressed for work. My god is that how I looked while I was trying to get his attention? I made a mental note to send a memo about appropriate work attire on my way back to my floor. Call me a hypocrite but I was only doing my job. I don’t need her trying to steal my man when I’d finally made a dent in our now developing and on track relationship.
Chapter 5
What happens in the mind
Veronica
Bill was having his way with me from behind rubbing my clit slowly, entering me slowly my face sunken into the sheets, hands behind my back as he held them in one hand and used the other to sink my back angling my ass perfectly for his dick. His thickness filling me. Plunging slowly I could feel him watching my body reacting as he nested himself deep inside me curling to my unborn children. I realised the breath I’d been holding the entire time as I adjusted to his width and length.
I woke from my dreaming to Jonathan shaking me softly and kissing my neck.
“You were making moaning noises in your sleep,” with that he disappeared beneath the sheets. I felt him slowly kissing down my stomach and to my navel, slowly circling his tongue, kissing down ward nibbling my mound through my cotton underwear, I sighed as a ripple of pleasure surged through me at the feel of his hot breath on my most sensitive area. He part my legs kissed my panty line licked each, he then kisses my inner tight and removed my underwear as he kissed down to my feet and made his way up. Slowly he traced my slit. His warm tongue had made me wet in that very nano-second. He parted, slowly he licked my juices, and tongue fucked me, slowly at first, and then circled my clit pressing the tip of his tongue to it. Thrusting my hips gently forward I held his head with one hand and my mouth with the other. I knew it was probably early in the morning; I looked over at the digital alarm clock 3:00. I was loud, I knew that. Biting my bottom lip I ran my fingers through his hair tugging so he knew I was enjoying him eating me out. It motivated him. He began a slow assault on the tiny pleasure button between my clit and hole. I kept thinking go, go, go, go. As Jonny ate his midnight snack and I came all over his mouth.
I laid panting my heart rushing and pussy pulsing as he climb up and allowed me the pleasure of sucking myself from his chin and lips. He entered me, stroked me buried his face beside mine and quietly, slowly penetrated me over and over again until we both orgasmed moaning my name, me rolling over and falling asleep.
***
I’d finally done it. I’d poured my soul out in Lust and temptation. I felt alive, I felt nervous I felt nauseated but I felt an emotional freedom on that stage. Emancipated and ready to take on anything, liberated. I felt like I was being watched, well of course you were being watched idiot by a crowd of almost 30 persons. I felt a familiar energy, one that intimidated me. I told Jonathan I’d finally done it. He’s gone with me before, but never heard me do a poem. “Babes that great!” he genuinely said. “Can I hear it?”
“It’s a new one, you’ve never read it. The rush is gone I probably can’t remember it” I made up an excuse because the moment he read or heard it he’d know I’d been lusting for a different man. He’d know that I wasn’t talking about him. The poems I’d written about him weren’t as good but they weren’t coming from the same place this one was. Plus he knew I was not very confident about performing in front of people especially him. I didn’t know how to show that side of me to any one person. On that stage I am a different person, the adrenaline the hair saluting on the back of my neck the way what happens in my mind comes out perfectly from my lips. All along my words had been my voice, though I had been afraid of it. Silly... Afraid of my own voice.
Jonny being home this often seemed to come around at the wrong time, I got good at hiding things, hiding my thoughts, he’d been good at first cause I had worn my heart on my sleeve, I’d been feeling my heart less and less these days, my body had been crying out instead. Was the secret to letting go my sexual freedom? Had I been keeping a leash on it that was too tight? I’ve written a sexual poem before but nothing like Lust and temptation, more sex less passion.. That poem was pure desire and raw passion. I’ve never felt that good, not listening to anyone not writing anything, not even an orgasm compared to the high I’d been on performing.. Ok maybe orgasm was a little extreme. You know what I mean don’t you?
I needed to feel Bill inside me and soon. My mind had been so corrupted, so starved. If I watched one more BDSM porn video I’d probably burst. It soon became my favourite category on the tube sight I so frequently visited in my earlier years. I watched paid attention. The acting was poor as usual but I paid attention none the less. Sexy girl tied up and fucked in both holes, BDSM my favourite.
The dreams were continuing. I was afraid Jonathan would soon hear me moan Bill’s name in my sleep. I wasn’t about to say his name in a another man’s bed; our bed. I let him eat me as much as I could. It was a quick orgasm, he was very good at it. More orgasms the less I’d dream about sex I’d thought. Didn’t work. I had to have full on sex to stop the dreams. When Jonny was too tired, I let him lay there and ride him condomless to an orgasm. He didn’t complain. He could tell something was wrong, he expected me to talk about it when I was ready like we normally did. But there was no way I was going to tell Jonathan that I’d been fantasizing and dreaming about a man that wanted to do aggressive things to me.
It was Friday evening, and I didn’t have anything to do once again, I called Becky.
“Heyyyy?” She drawled, I heard her turn her blow dryer off. Becky was a stud she explained to me one day, not a butch but definitely not a fem. She wore her long mane in a ponytail caught to the back. “I don’t want another girl fucking me. I’ll do all the fucking and if I feel like it I’ll let her eat me out. But I usually get off from getting her off”. I’d regret asking the quest
ion the moment it came out of my mouth.
“Nothing, here bored. Jonny covering some event ecstatic Fridays I think. Boredddd, What you up to? Have you heard anything from Kim?” Kimberley was the middle friend, we were besties but Kim had fit in some time ago, I don’t even remember how we met.
“Getting ready to go check this girl from Hampton she’s country but cute. I could ditch and keep your company if you want, we watched movie or something, and no, the last time Kim told me she was going Stalin still haven’t heard from her since.”
“Nah that’s ok I don’t want to ruin your plans. Kim, try not to mix up with anybody who claim they know black magic to try and tie that man she keeps talking about ok! Tell me about this girl. What she looks like?” I joked about Kim.
I really could care less about the girl but Becky was my best friend and sometimes I missed her. So hearing her talk was good.
“Kkkkkaayyy the girl an ass! Jesus! Wanna eat her out from behind. You might be straight but even you would’ve admitted she’s really hot.”
I laughed to myself rolling my eyes, right ... however I had to hand it to Becky she had taste. I met a few of her girls. Most of them didn’t like me either they pretended they weren’t attracted to me and acted bitchy or they saw the way Becky looked at me sometimes and jealousy got the best of them, some of them even had that jealousy issue when there was nothing at all to be jealous about, not that there ever was but still. Lesbians are supper protective apparently. Becky’s told me stories of her friends beating other girls for their women even in the middle of Half-Way-Tree. Guess chilling with her was out of the picture. I let her entertain me while she got herself together for her “date”. Do Australian’s even know the meaning of what a date is? I’ve never heard of a couple actually say they were dating. Somehow the courting process had died with pop culture and prostitutes. “Aaaahhh”