by Kilie Sams
I knew something was wrong the day he’d called me on a rainy Saturday afternoon. He didn’t normally call on a Saturday. He’d simply call and have me at his leisure after work mostly; I didn’t know what he did on most weekends. When I had arrived at his apartment he’d refused to kiss me and had me sit across from him in his dinning and kitchen area.
“Claire, do you know what you are to me?” he’d asked. What an odd question after three years of being his on and off submissive, his play thing, he ought to have expected me to know the answer to that by now.
“Of course sir I am your submissive”
“You may speak freely Claire, but don’t get comfortable, you understand that you do everything I say you have to do and not complain about it?”
“Yes of course Bill. What is this about?” his name tasted good in my mouth.
“I just want to ensure that you know you have no say once you enter the playroom tonight, as I’m not aware of your views on a situation such as this one.”
“Wait what? A situation like what Bill what are you talking about?” Immediately I began to panic. It was often that he scared me; I’d been through all his tricks I had thought. I guess I was wrong. What could this be? What was I going to find on the other side of his door? What was Bill going to do to me. This last time I was this afraid was his wax play. My mother had died in a fire and I was afraid of heat ever since. Sometimes I had to shower in cold water due to my fear and Stony hill tap water could get icy cold. I’d almost pissed myself when he’d dripped the wax on my erected nipples. Before the orgasm could race through me I’d safe worded him. I had tried to stop using it, he hated it, looked at me with dismay and disappointment in his eyes, I don’t like disappointing him, never did.
He was pensive, waiting for me to calm down so he could continue.
“What are you talking about Bill!” I almost yelled
He was quite, and calmly in almost a whisper he replied.
“You’ve just lost your privilege to speak or even look at me. Take your fucking hair down and strip. And don’t make me wait too long.”
He left went inside the room to prepare my punishment I presumed. Fuck, I knew better than to raise my voice at him, I wanted to slap myself I knew I took too much of a strong defence. God I was fucked and I’m not sure it’ll be in a good way. The hair on the back of my neck prickled with excitement and fear as I hurriedly began to take my hair down and undress.
He returned, finding me on my hands and knees by the door. Running his fingers through my hair he pulled it back, and slapped my face. “I have the right mind to spit on you, you disgust me, get your ass inside here.” He held me by the hair dragging me into the room.
Afraid to look around I sat on my heels waiting where he left me, by the bed head down.
When he pulled me up on my feet, my heart almost killed me as it lodged itself inside my throat.
That’s the first time I’d laid eyes on Veronica.
Veronica
Bill was odd today. He’d told me he had a surprise for me, for being a good slut. Surprises? What kind of surprise could an empty soul possibly think of? He didn’t strike me as the romantic type. I didn’t let myself get excited. Sure enough there was nothing romantic to be excited about, a part of me was relieved, I don’t know if I could handle him professing his love for me, that would make a bad situation worst. When I need love I knew where to get it. I didn’t want things getting any more complicated.
We got to the playroom, rainy Saturday evening and I was in the mood to fuck, what was the surprise? We did the usual strip and get into bed, no surprise in that. Then things started to get funny, not haha funny but awkward funny. He’d told me how pretty I looked strapped down to the bed, how much he wanted to simply fuck me, but his twisted mind wouldn’t let him, twisted mind? He’d sound insane, but I knew he was a man who kept it together, or at least pretended to. He’d got the flogger and slapped my outspread pussy, it stung my clitoris in an erotic way, and I was soaking the sheets beneath me. I couldn’t see him but I knew he was walking around the room. My legs were beginning to ache from being out spread for so long. What was he waiting on? The door opened and closed as he left, inwardly I sighed... It opened again; I heard shuffling, then quietness.
“Where have you been I’ve been waiting for you” I said in a slow sultry voice. “Please take me; I can’t wait any longer,” I whispered unsure if I was even allowed to speak since there’d been no talking, or instructions, all I was told to do was relax.
Everything was still, the silence drove me insane. I waited, and waited. It was broken,
“Taste her”
What?! What?! What??? As if the revolution had begun I felt another presence. Who was it? I began to struggle, strain almost in a rage pulling at the ribbons he’d use to tie my limbs to the bed. They wouldn’t budge. “No!” “No!!” Bill had moved my senses where like that of a canine, I stilled listen, he came around the bed, put his lips to my ear holding my neck and whispered. “You look so beautiful; you’re my pretty girl, my best girl. Don’t you want to please me?” I nodded, “Then shut up, be still and don’t make me have to speak to you again.”
I was terrified; I’d never heard a tone like that, in psychotic movies yes. I felt like a kidnap victim strapped to a table about to have her scalp peeled and used as a wig for a psychotic killer with a blonde obsession. Had Bill finally lost it? Who the fuck was looking at me sprawled out naked, embarrassed. I was grateful for the blindfold because I could not bear to look at or remember the face, was he Timothy, was Bill going to get off from watching his best friend have his way with me? I thought I was his?! How could he do something this fowl? Running circles around my mind of who, what and why’s I was hauled from my panic stricken mind, when I felt plumped lips against the moisture of my mound. A tongue, then a stifled groan. It was a woman. A woman! Who was she! Bill knows how homophobic I am. WHY WAS HE DOING THIS?! My mind wanted to yell rape but my body reacted, she was better. Better than Adam, she moved slowly, unwillingly but she felt good all the same, better than Bill, ok maybe not. “Good girl” I could hear Bill softly cooing in her ear. I could imagine him softly rubbing her head as she licked at me. She almost seemed like she had begun to enjoy it, but all the same my mind wasn’t letting me, my body replied while the entire time my mind had been rejecting her sweet assaults. I wanted to tear my hair out, gripping the sheets I felt my hips rising to meet her tongue strokes, forcing myself down on her tongue as she wiggled it inside my love hole. I was coming, coming on the lips of another woman, I was disgusted with myself. I wanted to curl into a fist and fight for my dignity and self worth, and all my beliefs. But, my pussy just wanted release.
Petrified
Claire
At first I was crushed, had there been someone else all this time? Who was she? She was beautiful, unlike any other woman I’ve seen Bill talk to. She’d look fragile, simple, and glorious. I appraised her body; full breast broad hips a complexion between honey and caramel, her chest heaved as Bill had gone to her ear and whispered. Then he made me do it. I knew how to eat pussy, I did. I knew what I liked and all the right buttons other men had never hit, but never had I imagined I’d come face to face with a pussy, one fatter than mine, or was it her legs that made it seem so. In high school I had kissed a girl while playing truth or dare but that had been it, no experimenting nothing. I couldn’t handle Australia and its stereotyping. And I had still thought dick was too good to do without. Nothing was as sweet as a big hard cock. Like Bill.
After she orgasmed, not too long after I began Bill sucked her juices from my mouth, kissing me as if I’d been carrying his life on my lips and then he brought me to my knees. I had to watch and suffer as he looked at her pussy rubbed her jumping clit and slowly penetrated her with his middle finger, she gasped I bet still tender from an orgasm I gave to her, and he began harder. He took it out put it to my mouth, I sucked. He pulled his dick out, I sucked it as well, he moaned and she stirred, I watched
her through the side of my eyes straining trying to hold her head up though the black satin blindfold was opaque, I knew because I had been in her place. “Look at me” he commanded, one hand playing with the woman on the bed’s pussy the other turning my neck towards him. Suddenly it clicked; he’d not made love to me but to her. He took it from my mouth and went around to hers. I watched as she worked him, as he reacted, in a way I never saw him react before and I knew she wasn’t doing anything different from what I did. Who was she and who had he become? He was on the edge, he came back to me put my face to her pussy once more while stroking his dick watching me eat her listening to her moans, he came on my face, panting, some in my hair some on her belly. She came. Listening to his moans, I was thrown into a darkness I had no clue if I would return from.
Picking myself up I ran. He didn’t chase me.
The best was yet to come
Bill
This had been the best idea I ever had. I have never been so sexually stimulated, it was exhilarating watching a mouth I knew was skilled and hot flick Veronica’s pebble up and down, Claire did a great job. She left, and I let her. Veronica and I were now alone. Her body lay rigid, her nipples still erected; I grew hard all over again. I climbed on top of her, putting a pillow beneath her hips, and penetrated her raw, I needed this. I didn’t bother to start slow immediately I went at a pace that was bound to give me a heart attack, soon enough I felt like my balls were in cardiac arrest as I was coming, forcing myself I more like dragged out, ripping my unwilling body from hers and coming on her inner thigh. I covered her body and untied her. She rolled onto her side turning her back to me. I fell asleep smiling, like Pleased puss I heard many Australians would say when your smile is so bright and you smile so hard until your cheeks hurt, pleased with yourself. I was pleased with Claire; she did what needed to be done. I was pleased with Veronica she understood that my word was more than law it was the never ending commandment. Most of all I was pleased with myself. I felt like a boy who’d finally lost his virginity to the head cheerleader. Too bad I couldn’t tell anybody. All good things were to be shared no? Well Claire and Veronica just shared a great thing, me.
When I woke up, Veronica was gone as well. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I didn’t regret what I had done. Thinking about it made me want to fuck, and fuck very hard. But Veronica could not manage that, she might even be sore today fucking raw did that to a woman. Thinking about her, all day I waited two days before I called hoping it would be allowing her to collect her thoughts. The thing with being a dom is we have to let our subs find the pleasure in serving, even if they have to do something they don’t really want to they should want to because they will know within themselves they are pleasing us, which should be their ultimate goal. Like my ultimate goal is pleasing them, or is it? Claire should’ve understood that by now and Veronica needed to as well. It was risky having them in the same room, letting her do that to Veronica but, I had total control. I breathed in a long draw of air. Smiled. I was having my cake and eating it too, and it tasted like Veronica’s sweet honeysuckle. Whoever said three was a crowd had obviously never had his dick sucked by two women at once. I am a proud dog, nothing more nothing less. And I was fine, loving all the words coming out of my mouth in those given times.
Violated
Veronica
This isn’t what I signed up for. I had been ready for whatever he was going to bring at me, but another woman was a game changer. Was she his girlfriend? Did he always do this to his subs. She didn’t seem willing, I never saw her, I heard the door slammed, must’ve been her storming out. No argument? No fuss? She must’ve been well trained, if I had been on that end, maybe I would’ve used the safe word. I was determine not to. I went home, climbed into bed, Jonathan had been sleeping. I cuddled to his back, and wept silently, I was lost.
The altercation my conscience tried to have with me failed. I felt safe in Jonathans arms nothing would change that. He would always be my sweet Jonathan, and maybe I should accept that and never question it again. I had failed him, my body had failed me. My weakness to temptation had served to be the death of my dignity. I just hoped I’d be able to shake it, and not show any signs of this to Jonathan and be strong enough to resist my urges. Truth was I still wanted Bill, all the bullshit tends to consume you. But I would fight it. I’d fight the desire to see him, and I will fight to enjoy want Jonathan does in fact do, he brings a lot more to the table than sexual fulfilment. He brings me joy, he brings me safety and most of all he brings me love, like a sunny sky on a public holiday.
Old Wounds
Bill
It has been a week and a half. Veronica hadn’t called back, I called, texted, even went by her office since she didn’t let me know where she lives. She ignored me every time. I got the feeling Claire didn’t want to hear from me either. It was neither here nor there to me. I had Veronica, I had to have Veronica. Needed to have her, needed to break and control her. She was getting beneath my skin. I had gotten weak, but she would pay for doing this to me. I’m sure it’ll be long enough before she gives in, she will. I am confident about it. I supped on my Guinness. It was time for a ride. I was strapping up, saddling up I mounted my time machine and took off, down the streets, on a death trap. I’d forgotten how fast she could go. I thought about Veronica, why she hadn’t called. It was a lesson, that nothing was too great of a boundary, that I would test all of hers I gunned the engine, flying, blood rushing, I almost closed my eyes and did a city of angels pose on the machine as we flew to port royal. That was my favourite street, looking at the land strip across the ocean, the distant lights watching them all fly by me. I speed even more. Veronica. Was she worth it? No sooner had I seen the headlights and realised that at 3 o clock in the morning I wasn’t the only one who appreciated this street I skidded almost falling over as my leather booth heel burned on the pavement, as a car on the opposite side of the road sped pass me.
In a flash so much of my past flooded my brain. I saw Zoey, her lifeless body, the woman behind us wailing covering the face of her six month old son. The firemen running towards her trapped body in my Subaru, thinking to myself it was all my fault. We were arguing about something so insignificant that I don’t even remember what it was now, I had turned the music up over her screaming at me, she punched my arm I used my right hand to grab the guilty arm holding the wheel with my left hand she scratched me, I yelled at her, and by the time I looked ahead we had been sailing through the red light and into a twelve foot trailer. I had been thrown from the car and Zoey had been dead pinned to the dashboard something crushing her spine, her lifeless body looking in my direction, eyes open. I stopped pulled over, got off the bike, my heart had been racing my mind escaping, going to a place I had not been for years. Memories of Zoey flashing in front of me, I had been standing facing the darkness on the side of the street and day dreaming it was day, she on the beach running towards me. Wiping my face with the back of my hand I climbed on and slowly crept home, for sure I would not sleep tonight.
What should’ve and could’ve been would haunt me. My unborn child had shown in the autopsy, she was three weeks pregnant. I bet she knew, that was the worst part about burring my fiancé. She was dead because of me. Because I lacked control, I lost it. She laid lifeless going in a casket because Bill had been too careless! Enraged I screamed muffled by my helmet. Zoey, beautiful Zoey. Half Latin half African American, a cream skin that was perfect her shapely mouth that exposed a radiant set of teeth when she smiled. Zoey was the death of me. She had taken my heart with her into another life. I had left the fast life behind, and gained control in every single way, starting with controlling myself and my emotions on her funeral day. Her parents who had loved me, wanted me around, kept hinting about me marrying her, giving them grandchildren. The very same woman, her mother who had gone with me to choose her wedding ring, her father who had given me his blessing; both stood on the opposite side of the casket looking at me with dismay as well as hate. They never s
aid it but i knew they would’ve preferred to see me lying in that coffin. No parent liked to bury or should ever have to bury a child, but they were burying theirs, and inside I was burying mine. I couldn’t have cushioned the blow. I didn’t call the news got to them some other way, they called for days, but I spoke to no one. Zoey was the only person that I could communicate with. It had been months before I threw out her old things and gave the good ones to charity. She was a pianist, her piano was in storage so were her trophies, her albums and other precious things I couldn’t bear to touch or give away. I buried her with her engagement ring and wedding band. Her headstone marked Zoeanna Hilton instead of Zoeanna Fitz she was mine. “May your soul, rest in peace my angel, as you watch over me”