by Helen Burko
“Maybe she went to Warsaw?” Marta tried to guess.
“To Warsaw?” he asked in surprise. “No, impossible, she was supposed to wait for me here… Unless she ran away.”
“Ran away?”
“Yes, ran away,” he said with a bitter smile. “That’s also possible these days. In fact, it’s a common occurrence and has happened ever since women existed.”
Marta remained silent.
“I’m surprised that Eve didn’t leave Adam.” He tried to add some humor. “Maybe because she had no one to run to, right, Pani Marta?”
“Who knows?” Marta tried to smile.
“Well, I’ll find another woman,” he tried to encourage himself. “Right, Pani Marta?”
But he couldn’t calm down. He was badly hurt, and he had lost the one he loved most in his life. He had such high hopes for the future. He would receive the papers necessary to go to America soon. Everything was arranged. A warm, pleasant house awaited him there, but now all his dreams were shattered.
He went to his room and fell on the bed. He stayed there fully dressed. The rain dripped outside the open windows. With each pinecone that dropped, Jacob looked out the window—maybe that was her! Maybe she had changed her mind and was returning!
It was after midnight, and the deep silence was broken only by the monotone chirp of the crickets.
Jacob couldn’t calm down and stood looking out the window. He had finished a full package of cigarettes, and the nicotine had dried out his throat, but he couldn’t stop smoking…as though in this way he could forget. The rain continued and freshened the air even more.
He remembered when he was a student in high school and afterward in law school. He thought about how he met Doris and fell in love with her at first sight. He felt deserted, lonely, and abandoned. A terrible sadness came over him that he tried to shake off. He wanted to forget all that had happened.
He waited impatiently for the dawn of a new day as a pregnant woman waits for the birth of her child. As soon as daylight came, he would go out and look for her again, and if he found no sign of her, then he would conclude that she left him with the same swiftness with which she had agreed to go with him. Then he would leave this place and make a greater effort to reach America sooner. Morning was still far away. The stars in the sky were proof of that.
He decided finally to leave the window and go to bed, when he suddenly heard a rustling in the trees. After a few moments, when he heard nothing more, he decided it was some nocturnal animal and turned away from the window again, when suddenly, he saw a dim figure approaching the house. He couldn’t believe his eyes and stared at the figure that was coming toward him with unsteady steps.
“Rachel! Rachel!” he shouted, and ran out and around the house toward her. “What happened to you?” He hugged her and then looked at her.
Her clothes were torn and in places showed her skin. She didn’t answer him and just continued to weave around, leaning on his shoulder. She entered the room and fell in the armchair. She leaned her tousled head on the arm of the chair and sat there, eyes closed and breathing heavily. A strong smell of liquor emanated from her mouth. He noticed she had scratches in a few places, as if someone had scratched her with fingernails or barbed wire.
“Drunk? My God in heaven! Where could you have gotten so drunk? Who has scratched you like that and torn your clothes?”
Instead of replying, she muttered, “Water… Give me some water!”
He hurried to bring some water and held it to her parched lips. She drank the water and then returned her head to the arm of the chair and fell asleep. He stood there, helpless, and didn’t know what to do for her. He sat down on the bed and watched her while she slept.
Morning had arrived when Jacob heard a knock on the door. He went to the door.
“Who’s there?” He was afraid there was some connection between the visitor and Rachel’s condition.
“Police!” He heard the forceful voice of a man. “Open, please!”
He opened the door, and two Polish policemen entered, accompanied by a Russian soldier.
Marta awakened, frightened that something had happened to Rachel when she heard all the noise. She dressed quickly and came out. When she saw the police and the soldier, she turned pale from fear. Her fear would have been even greater had she known Rachel was lying in one of the rooms in such a condition. She had not awakened when Rachel entered.
“Who lives here?” one of the policemen asked. “Papers, please!”
Jacob explained that he had returned from Russia and was preparing to leave Poland.
After a few more questions, the policeman asked, “Who else lives here?”
It was hard to deny that a woman lay in the other room, but it also was better that no one see her in such a condition—and he had not yet obtained her papers for the trip. When the police saw his confusion, they began to search the rooms and finally entered Jacob’s room and saw Rachel stretched out on the chair, sleeping soundly. Jacob followed them, and after him, Marta. When she saw Rachel and the condition she was in, she exclaimed, “Dear loving Jesus and sacred Mother Mary!”
“Who is the woman?” asked the surprised policeman. When they saw that Jacob wasn’t answering, they asked again in a grimmer tone.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” he said, recovering. “This is my wife. She’s intoxicated, and I don’t allow anyone to come into my private bedroom, not even the police.”
The police looked at him in surprise and showed him they had a permit to search any of the houses in the area.
“Excuse me,” he said, relieved to know their visit was not connected to Rachel’s condition. “I see you do have the right to search the house… Please continue!”
“And now, tell us, what happened to your wife?” asked one of the policeman politely. “Although it might be a private matter between you, it is our duty to know.”
“Certainly!” Jacob said with an artificial smile that resembled more a grimace of pain. “My wife…” He searched frantically and found an explanation. “…is ill.”
“Ill? A smell of liquor points to something else!”
“Yes, I understand.” Jacob smiled again, the same smile, and continued. “I don’t deny she is intoxicated. We both had a party, and my wife overdid it. One of the weaknesses she got from the war…drinking too much.”
“She probably isn’t used to drinking,” said the Russian soldier with a smile. “No matter, she’ll get used to it.”
“A woman like that shouldn’t be allowed to drink,” said a policeman. “You should keep her away from liquor!”
“It’s hard to convince her,” said Jacob with the same smile. He was again beginning to suspect the visit had some connection with Rachel.
“She’s stubborn?” the policeman asked with a smile, and Jacob’s suspicions were laid to rest again.
“Oh, you don’t know my wife…”
As the policeman were standing at the door of the bedroom, Rachel suddenly opened her eyes in a daze. She looked at the policemen about to leave, made a movement as if trying to rise, and shouted, “Raus! Raus! Donerwetter! Raus!”
Jacob paled and ran to her. He couldn’t understand what had suddenly happened to her. The policemen were also startled and stopped in the doorway.
“My dear,” said Jacob, confused. “What happened to you? Wake up! What are you imagining? Are you dreaming?”
Again, Rachel raised her head, looked around as if trying to remember where she was, and dropped her head down to sleep again.
“Tell me the truth.” One of the policeman turned to the bewildered Jacob. “What’s the matter with this woman and who is she? Is she really your wife? Why is she shouting Nazi commands?”
“Excuse me,” he apologized. “My wife suffered a great deal in the war. She probably thinks you are from the Gestapo. Don’t pay attention to her words. The war has made an emotional cripple of many people.”
“But why are her clothes torn?” asked the Russian soldier with a crafty
smile.
“After she became intoxicated, she grabbed the bottle and ran outside into the trees and fell on some thorny bushes.”
“A shame… She’s a pretty woman,” said one of the policemen.
But the Russian soldier smiled and said, “The liquor will heal her. Let her drink as much as she wants. When you take the bottle away from her, you just make her want it more.”
“What camp was she in?” asked the policeman.
“In Majdanek,” answered Jacob, glad they believed his explanations. “You can imagine how happy we were when we met again after the war… But what was the use?”
After the policemen took some notes, they finally left. Jacob ran to his room and fell on his bed as though he had just received a blow to the head.
“God in heaven!” he said as he looked at Rachel asleep in the chair. “What could have happened to her?”
He went over to her and tried to wake her, but it was in vain. Finally, he left her and lay down on the bed. With his clothes on, he slept a sleep of nightmares and terror.
CHAPTER NINE
Rachel opened her eyes and looked around her, lost and confused. Her eyes fell on Jacob, who was sleeping fully dressed. She smiled a bitter smile and tried to straighten her disheveled hair. She looked at her torn dress and her scratched skin and again smiled that bitter smile.
All at once, she remembered the previous night.
No, that wasn’t the end, she mused, almost out loud. I’ll have my revenge. He’ll kiss my feet yet. So what did I lose? In any case, everything is lost.
She wanted to lie down on the bed, but Jacob was sleeping soundly and took up all the space. He looked like he was out cold.
I wonder what he thought of me. He probably suffered and worried when he didn’t find me at home. He’s crazy about me.
She lay down again on the chair and began to recall what had happened the previous night. She examined her behavior and wondered if she could have acted otherwise.
She remembered how horribly sad she had been when she left the house yesterday afternoon and began to walk among the trees. Too much yearning and risky adventure in the last few years had piled up, and she felt compelled to find a way to rest from her endless ruminations.
She felt imprisoned, like a princess who is only allowed to wander through a locked garden. She picked up acorns and threw them at the bird, who ceased its singing and moved to another branch.
“Damn it! I was once so accurate!” Suddenly she heard the barking of a dog behind her. She turned around and saw the little poodle and understood that the Russian officer was near.
“Here, doggie…sweet little doggie! Come to me!”
But the poodle ran away from her, and his barking became louder.
“Oh, the young lady!” the Russian officer said, recognizing her. “Hunting birds, were you? You can hit the target very well, I noticed!”
“Oh, it’s you!” She laughed gaily and gave him her hand in friendship. “I was so absorbed in what I was doing that I didn’t notice you.”
“A person should see and feel everything.”
“You’re right, but there are times when you don’t want to see anything or feel anything.”
“That’s a sign that you are very sad today, Rachel.”
“You guessed it!” She gave him a fond and friendly smile. “You have a very good memory!”
“I’m not old enough to have a weak memory.” He laughed. “By the way, I’m certain you remember my name, but that’s not important, is it?”
“I think I do remember your name.” She wrinkled her nose in a graceful gesture. “Your name is… Wait… Yes, that’s it. Matvey Bunin. I have forgotten your paternal name. You’re a doctor and you work not far from here.”
“Excellent!” He squeezed her hand. “You also have a good memory. I was away on vacation the last two weeks; otherwise, I would have come and visited you.”
“And I was sure you had forgotten us!”
“Definitely not!”
They conversed like old friends and walked in the forest. He began to ask her questions about herself, as well as other questions, and she gave him evasive answers.
“I don’t like to talk about myself, and I hate asking my acquaintances who and what they are,” she said, laughing. “In time we’ll get to know each other, but the important thing about my friends is that I like them, right?”
“Right you are!” he retorted, made happy by her friendliness. “But it’s natural when two people meet, especially if they’re young. I only take an interest in those I like.”
As the officer talked, he didn’t take his eyes from Rachel. She liked his looks. He reminded her of another young man in another kind of uniform, and his medals, his proud stance, even his cap under which his burning green eyes peeked out, aroused memories. She decided to captivate him as she had Jacob.
“Isn’t your husband at home? You’re walking alone?”
“Yes, I went for a walk alone. My husband is in Warsaw.”
“And he isn’t afraid to leave you here alone?”
“Why should he fear? What could anyone do to me?” she answered proudly and began to run after the poodle.
“Here, poodle, my sweet! Come here!”
“His name is Goebbels. I think I introduced him to you when we met. Yes, call him Goebbels or he won’t come to you.”
“I don’t understand why you gave him that name,” she said.
“I think I explained that, too, at our first meeting. I call him that because he barks, but his barks are dispersed by the wind. Goebbels, the propaganda minister of the Third Reich, also barked a lot, and his barks, too, were dispersed by the wind. You know, I took this poodle away from a young German woman when we marched on Berlin. You should have seen how she sobbed—as though we had taken away her idol. She was ready to give herself to me if I would leave her dog alone. Damn it, you should have seen how she begged!”
“And you had the heart to take him from her?” She stared at him with her blue eyes, almost hypnotizing him.
“You ask how? Very simple… The simplest thing in the world! How did the Nazis tear away the children from their mother’s arms and shoot them?”
“Oh, the Nazis,” she acknowledged, and they both walked on silently.
Bunin couldn’t understand why Rachel had become so serious all of a sudden. Maybe it was because talking of the Nazis brought back terrible memories.
“Maybe you’d like to come with me to Warsaw?” he suggested to change the subject.
“I have no wish to travel on that overcrowded train,” she confessed. “Especially while my husband isn’t here.”
“Not by train,” he said, staring at her. “At our first meeting, I think I told you I have a car at my disposal. If you want, we’ll have dinner there.”
“And what will my husband say?”
“A woman can always find a way out if she wants,” he said with a smile. “It’s so damn boring here. There are restaurants in Warsaw now; you can hear music, and you can enjoy yourself and forget your troubles. Anyway, we’ll return way before he does. The train doesn’t go out regularly now, and your husband won’t be here until later.”
“All right, I’ll go!” she agreed after a moment. “I would like to enjoy myself a little…to forget. I’d like to drink enough to forget everything.”
Bunin beamed as he looked Rachel over and imagined how good she could be to him if she wanted. “Let’s go! I hope you won’t be sorry. We’ll enjoy ourselves a little, right?”
“I don’t care if I’m sorry or if I regret it!” said Rachel indifferently. “I could be sorry for many things. As a matter of fact, that’s the only thing left for us.”
“That’s right!” He smiled without really understanding her meaning. Her words encouraged him, and he took her arm in his. “Young people, as long as they’re young, must live it up, because when they’re old, regret and being sorry won’t help them.”
“I don’t know… I haven�
�t been old yet!”
Her answer amused him, and he pressed her arm.
In a few minutes, they arrived at the hospital. It looked as though it had once been a grand hotel. It was quiet there. Some of the patients, bandaged and in pajamas, roamed around. Bunin brought his car quickly, and as Rachel entered the shining vehicle and they drove away, the men followed them with envious eyes.
They drove next to the railroad tracks and saw a train coming slowly toward them. The cars were packed with people standing on the steps and even lying on the roof.
“I, too, traveled like that not long ago.” Rachel laughed and told Bunin the story of how they couldn’t get tickets and how difficult it had been for them to get out of Russia. In contrast to Jacob, he didn’t really care who this young woman was who was so ready to spend some time with him. He didn’t doubt she was fearless. He was impressed with her face, her provocative smile, her blue eyes, her blond hair, and her full breasts; she exuded so much charm and good health. She aroused him until, at that moment, he was willing to do anything to win her. When they passed some woods, he suggested they get out and walk a little.
She agreed, and he stopped the car.
“Catch me!” She played with the officer exactly as she had with Jacob. “Catch me!”
He ran after her. Disheveled, she was even more alluring, and she was driving him out of his mind. Finally, he caught her.
“Damn it, what a nimble and interesting woman you are!” Bunin said as he held her in his arms. He led her to a grassy spot and lay down beside her.
She surprised him as she sprang up, running in the direction of the car before he could stop her. He thought it was all a joke and she intended to play with him a little. He saw her reach the car, enter, and start the motor.
“Rachel!” he shouted. “Rachel! What are you doing? You don’t know how to drive! You’ll crash! Rachel! Rachel!”
She didn’t heed him and drove along the road, waving her hand to him and roaring with laughter.
He was amazed. He didn’t believe his eyes.
“What a devil she is!” he said as he watched her change gears and race away. “She might crash.”