Olivia and I hurried past the black iron gated ramps and up the stone steps, weapons readied, Jax and Adele behind us. The door was heavy and opened with a whoosh, stale air smacking us in our faces. No one had been here in ages. We went through the endless stacks and aisles and offices, clearing the building.
Relieved we found no rotten corpses or monsters ready to jump out at us, we locked the doors and sealed ourselves in, setting alarms and traps for anyone who found their way inside.
Exhausted from the ride and the returned throbbing pain in my face, I curled up in one of the green chairs set up in a circle, inspecting my scarred hands, wrapped in self-pity. My face would match my hands once it healed. Even if we won the world back, no one wanted a dancer with a ravaged face. I still hadn’t mustered up the courage to look in a mirror, not ready to see how hideous I was.
Jax crouched next to me. “I should really check your injury. It needs a fresh bandage.” His timing was creepy.
I blew out a breath, determined to stop being a coward. “Let me use the bathroom first.”
His eyes seared holes into my back as I walked away to hide in the ladies room for a moment. I kept my head down, avoiding the mirrors until I’d relieved myself. I stared at the sink as I pumped sanitizer into my hands, building my backbone from scratch.
With a growl, I raised my head and faced the mirror.
And burst into tears.
My hair was snarled and dull, the golden highlights gone, leaving it a muddy brown. Half of my face covered in gauze and the other half smeared with filth. Even the vodka hadn’t been strong enough to wash it away. Eyes gaunt and shadowed, skin sallow, cheekbones sharp and protruding. I looked like a walking skeleton with skin stretched across it—and what was under the bandage was probably much worse. Still crying, I peeled away the tape holding the gauze to my face. It was so bad, the tears stopped.
Lines of oozing crimson shredded my cheek from the edge of my brow to the corner of my lips, leaving the skin marred and puckered. Blood painted the side of my face, dribbling down my neck to pool in the hollow of my collarbone.
A scream built up inside me even as I scolded myself for being shallow. I didn’t need to be hot to hunt monsters. And dancing was never going to happen again anyway. I had to stop being stupid. I was still alive and able to fight. Olivia was alive.
Jackson was alive.
Even if he’d never want me now.
I banished that line of thought. I refused to be that person. I would not let my defenses down, scars or not. I couldn’t chance it; there were more important things to worry about.
And my face wasn’t going to get in the way of my mission.
I wouldn’t let it.
Surprised they were still there, I grabbed a couple paper towels and mopped up most of the blood. Jax could deal with the rest.
When I finally emerged from the bathroom, they’d set up a nice little space for us. Our sleeping bags and blankets and pillows were in a pile similar to the one I’d created for Star Wars. Liv had already gathered several piles of books for us to go through like we were the scoobies from Buffy.
Except I was no slayer with supernatural strength.
At least I hadn’t lost an eye like Xander.
Yet.
Jackson sat in the middle of everything and beckoned me over. “It looks better today.”
“It looked worse yesterday?”
He nodded. “Much.”
I shuddered at the thought and sat down with crossed legs in front of him. “Do your thing.”
“Close your eyes.” His voice whispered across my skin.
I obeyed, trying not to flinch or shriek as he pressed flames against my face.
“Sorry. I don’t want it getting infected, so we have to keep it clean.”
“I want to know where you keep your never ending supply of vodka.”
“I keep it hidden from you so you don’t drink it all.”
I laughed and then whimpered when the movement yanked at my wounds.
“Sorry.”
I’d have scowled if it hadn’t hurt so damn much. “Stop apologizing.”
“Sorry. Yes, ma’am.”
“And stop being funny.”
“Of course.”
Something soothing and cool spread across my cheek, soaking up the pain.
“You should probably have stitches. Even though it’s better today, it isn’t closing up how I’d prefer. I’ll try this for now and check it tonight. If it hasn’t improved, I’m going to have to stitch you up.” He paused. “Either way, I’m afraid you’re going to have scars.”
“I sorta figured, considering what a mess she made of my face.” My words came out warbled, the medicine effecting part of my mouth.
“Right.” He smooths on the gauze and tapes it up. “You’re all done.”
I opened my eyes, startled by how close he was. I twitched my head so my hair fell as a curtain between us.
He slipped a hand under the curtain and moved it back, cupping my neck. “Don’t hide. Not from me.”
Staring at him, I searched his eyes and face for any hint of disgust or distaste or pity. But I only found sympathy and a slow boiling rage and something else. Something deep and hidden and hard to read. Something a place inside me recognized and rejoiced over.
He licked his lips, and I followed the movement with my eyes, my chest tightening. His scent billowed around me, making me dizzy. Pine and herbs and sunlight. How did he always smell like the sunlit sky?
I leaned a centimeter closer, trapped inside a spell I wasn’t sure I wanted to break. He read words written on my soul, able to see past the barriers I kept, past the defenses, past the guards.
And he didn’t turn away.
Why didn’t he turn away from the ugliness and hatred and snarls of grief?
Especially when his soul shined so bright and golden, swirling with the colors of dawn, a beacon still holding onto hope.
The moment between us stretched out in eternity, tendrils of songs whirled in my mind, a soft soundtrack playing in the background. I couldn’t breathe. Or blink.
Adele plopped into my lap, the spell shattered around us in glinting, broken fragments.
Grateful, I buried the good side of my face in her neck, staying hidden until I calmed. When I finally braved meeting Jackson’s eyes, they were shuttered, allowing no one inside. I shivered, certain I’d imagined everything. There was no way he wanted to kiss me. Especially now. We were way too different and romance in the middle of a monster apocalypse was a stupid idea.
With my mind calm, I took Adele to the children’s section to pick out a few books, leaving Jackson to search through the piles Liv brought over. Adele still didn’t speak she either nodded or shook her head when I showed her a book, but I didn’t want to push it and send her deeper into herself.
Before life became all about bare survival, living in a library would have been a dream come true. Surrounded by books, the smell of them soothing my soul, bringing to my mind simple, happy memories. I had romped with Jo, danced with Mr. Darcy, laughed with Anne and Miss Cornelia, traveled with Tom Joad, wept with Lucie Manette, pined with Anne Eliot, spied with Marguerite Blakeney, stood bravely with Jane Eyre, fought beside Harry Potter, been shipwrecked with Viola, dreamed with Emily Starr, explored magical worlds with the Pevensies, gone on quests with Frodo and Sam, and adventured with so many more. I missed my precious friends and wished I could take them with me. More than the four I had brought, unable to part with them. I let my fingers drag across the spines, picking up a couple I had never read and a few picture books for Adele to look at.
Once we had enough to keep her occupied for a while, we returned to the others.
Liv and Jax sat next to each other, heads buried in books. As much as I ached to dive into the written word, I had something I wanted to try first. After Adele was settled, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through the message board, bookmarking everything I could find related to the sorceress. Even the slightest
whispers. I rustled through one of the librarian’s desks and unearthed a pad of paper and a pen, returning to the others and stretching out on my stomach.
In shorthand, I took notes on each post, scribbling down anything slightly informative or helpful, even rumors so outlandish they couldn’t be true.
We spent hours barely speaking as we searched for anything to help us beat them. We ended up with wildly different accounts and information and spells and legends.
I rolled over and sat up with a muffled groan. “This is getting us nowhere. No one on the message boards has decent intel on how to kill her. It’s just a long ass list of her crimes. And there must be tons that haven’t been posted. What have you guys found?”
Liv worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. “I haven’t found anything that comes close to her in legends or tales. Most are nowhere near as powerful and then there’s the likes of Gandalf or the gods and goddesses. I’m starting to worry we may need another monster to take her on.”
“No way. Hell no.” I shook my head.
“I’m not suggesting we do it. I’m saying I’m worried that’s what it will take.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and yelped in pain when I accidentally poked my wound. Liv and Jax both reached for me, but I waved them off. “I’m fine. Let’s look at this from another angle. Let’s research the chimera and familiars. There’s too much to sort through under the broad term of sorceress or witchcraft. But if we can find weaknesses in the chimera, it may give us a way to reach the sorceress through her.”
Liv nodded. “That’s a good idea.” She stretched and yawned. “Let’s break for food first. I’m hungry and sore.”
I wanted to protest, but catching a look at the hollows under her eyes, I kept my mouth shut. I could use a yoga session myself. I got up and hurried outside before she could leave me alone with Jackson.
The fresh air rejuvenated me, the world still green so far south. Unable to resist, I followed the cement path until it turned into soft grass beneath the trees I was so in love with.
I shrugged from my jacket and peeled off my jeans, standing in my dance shorts and tee. It was nice not being bundled and constricted by layers of clothes, the sun warm on my skin as the light streamed through the leaves.
I performed a few simple stretches to loosen up my muscles, enjoying the delicious ache. I slipped into a few weaponless tai chi movements and then the Skylar Grey song began playing in my head, so I started the dance I’d never gotten the chance to perform. We’d never even gotten a chance to practice it. I could almost feel the heavy beat of the bass drum and the race of the piano in my chest. A little piece of my soul awoke, healing itself a drop at a time.
A smile on the uninjured side of my face spread wide as the music faded away, leaving me heaving for breath, covered in a sheen of sweat, and more peaceful than I’ve felt in a long time. I could still dance because I loved it, because I wanted to. It didn’t have to be for an audience. It could be for myself.
I already felt much better. Whatever magic Jax had worked on me kept the pain at bay. And after my dance, I was refreshed and calm.
A slow clap echoed through the trees, sending me spinning around. Jackson leaned against the tree, awe painted across his face. “That was amazing. You are amazing. I thought after seeing you do tai chi, there wasn’t anything more beautiful, but I was wrong.”
I warmed under his praise. “You’re the first person to see that dance. I’d just choreographed it before...”
“I’m honored.”
“It’s not like you were invited to a private performance. You decided to sneak in.”
He laughed. “I knew I wouldn’t get good seats if I asked, so this was the only way.”
It was so simple to fall into the easy banter with him, but I had to keep things distant. “We’d better get back to it. I doubt we’ll be safe here long.”
I went to duck past him, but his hand on my waist stopped me. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve been avoiding even looking at me all day. Or you’ve hardly spoken to me unless it was about the mission.”
I forced my face blank. “The mission is what matters. It’s what I have to focus on. I don’t have time for anything else.”
“I see.” He released me and stepped back, the limbs casting shadows across his face.
I hurried past him with my head down, scooping up my clothes and all but ran inside, heading straight for the bathroom. I grabbed my dwindling supply of baby wipes and cleaned the sweat off me. I wanted a shower, already itchy from the drying sweat crusting over my skin. I’d do a birdbath before we went to sleep.
I raised my chin and returned to the others, avoiding eye contact with Jackson while I grabbed a few books off the stack, and dug myself into the pile of pillows and blankets.
The first book I opened had the answer.
After a day spent breathing and devouring words and stale air, we decided to find a house to stay the night in. We craved comfort and preferably a full pantry and running water. And maybe the slightest hint of normalcy where we could pretend everything outside didn’t exist. We left the plush pile and scattered books where they were, with the plan to return the next day.
Liv and Jax outvoted me on returning straight for Tybee armed with our newfound knowledge. Apparently I needed to rest and heal for at least another two days.
The night was chilly, but nothing like it was farther north. I didn’t need the jacket slung across my shoulders, comfortable in my short sleeves. Adele clung to me as we hurried across the street to the side lined with historic Victorian homes.
We hurried up the steps of the brick one, thinking it looked the most stable. The door creaked open, and our steps were loud throughout the house. The stench hit us and we gagged, eyes burning and we backed out. There was something dead in there.
The next house was completely trashed, broken glass and crunched food covered the floors. And I was pretty sure I saw rat droppings mixed in. Strangely the store on the bottom floor was pristine. We grabbed a couple of the scarves hanging in the window and wrapped them around our necks.
We chose a green house with white trim, a gorgeous southern porch, and lovely Georgian trees out front. I couldn’t get enough of those trees.
The house creaked and was almost certainly haunted. It was clean, like the people hadn’t bothered taking anything with them when they’d disappeared from the home.
We cleared it, our boots loud on the old wooden steps and floors. The house was deep, like two homes in one.
The main floor had a kitchen, three bathrooms, five bedrooms, a dining room and a big living room. It was an entire house on one floor. The beds smelled musty, but clean enough under the duvet covers.
The kitchen was where we found the gold mine. Jars and jars of baby food in the pantry and that rice cereal stuff. My throat ached when I thought about the baby who would’ve eaten the food and wondered why the mother hadn’t taken it with her. Where was the baby now? Was it alive? Did it have food where they were? I shook off my thoughts. I would never know and I should be thankful the food was here.
There were all sorts of vitamins and minerals in it our diets had been lacking. I grabbed them and put them in the pile growing to a disturbing size. Cabinets raided, we stared at the mound of food in disbelief. Whoever had lived here must have gone to the grocery store right before the monsters came. Tons of canned food and unopened boxed and bagged food. Way better stuff than I’d seen since life before.
The pains in my stomach grew so sharp, I bit back a gasp. After staring at it in silence for a few seconds, we moved as one, tearing into whatever caught our fancy. I knew we needed to slow down, but I was having a terrible time doing it. Adele’s overfilled mouth got to me.
“Adele, slow down. You’ll make yourself sick.”
The spell of insanity lifted, and we all slowed down. I could actually taste the food. The tuna was salty, exploding with flavor in my m
outh. The crackers muted the taste, but satisfied my stomach faster. It didn’t take long to polish off a can and make a whole sleeve of crackers disappear. It took every ounce of my willpower not to lick the can or shake the plastic over my mouth to collect the crumbs.
The pain in my stomach duller and slightly more human, I stopped myself. Spotting a bag of cookies, I ripped it open, took a few, and passed them to Adele. With a look of delight on her face, she grabbed a handful and started in on them. I almost moaned at the first bite. I had never been so grateful for preservatives in my life. It was crunchy and sweet and the chocolate melted and oozed all over my tongue. Oh, chocolate how I have missed you. In a haze of chocolate fever, I sat down, overwhelmed. Adele came and snuggled into my side, still munching on her cookies. I wrapped an arm around her and let my head rest on hers. Weariness swept through me, making my limbs heavy and my eyelids droop.
I stood and groaned, clutching my stomach. “I ate too much.”
The others had similar uncomfortable expressions on their faces.
“I’m gonna shower. Adele, you want a bath?”
She nodded, so I took her with me to clean up, grabbing clothes for both of us. Once she bathed, I sent her on to bed and climbed in the tub, too tired to bask under the warm spray.
Liv and Jackson were still in the other bathrooms when I emerged from mine, toweling my dripping hair. Adele was already passed out in her bed, clutching R2D2 in one hand and her polar bear in the other. I tucked her in and returned to the kitchen, still full but wanting another taste of cookies. I hopped up on the only clear counter, leaning back against the cabinet, and munched on a few more cookies.
I closed my eyes, too tired to hobble back to the bed. Jackson’s voice whispered through the fog of looming sleep.
“You are not going to sleep well on the counter, love.”
I mumbled back to the dream Jax. “Am I your love?”
Dream Jax didn’t respond, but strong arms slipped under my legs and neck, carrying me off to lay me in the soft clouds.
Dance of Ashes and Smoke (Age of Monsters Book 1) Page 11