by Marian Wells
There was silence in the room as each woman busily worked at her sewing. Trina broke the silence. Her voice was low and thoughtful as she said, “There were other things, too. I was raised in the South. My family was poor, struggling to keep food on the table. Just struggling to keep the few acres we had. There were eight of us children. I remember chopping brambles and fighting weeds before I was old enough to go to school.” She paused and looked at Amelia. “There was not one thing we poor people could do to get ahead. The big planters around us, with their army of slaves, just plain took every acre they could get their hands on. Standing there, with a grin on their faces, they waited for us to fail so that they could grab our land.”
Later, when they stood to leave, Trina said, “As long as there is war there will be an army. My husband and men like him will have a job. The power and the glory. Sometimes I think they close their minds to the rest and see only the horses and uniforms. The glory of it all.” She shuddered.
Amy cried, “But if you hate it so, why did you marry him?”
She saw Trina wince before she said, “Because I love him.” Taking a deep breath, she added, “I asked Colonel Wainswright’s wife the same question. The colonel was killed in the skirmish with the Indians.” She watched Amy as she stated, “I guess there’s no way we can avoid pain in this life.”
****
Amy recalled that statement the day their group of three wagons left Fort Union. With Eli cushioned on the bed of blankets in the rear wagon, and Amelia on Daniel’s horse, they rode out as soon as the sun was above the horizon.
Amy avoided looking behind as she prodded her horse and searched for something to say to her mother. Finally she said, “We’re not a very big wagon train. I heard the men talking. They’re saying the Indians are starting to give the settlers plenty of trouble.”
Amelia was smiling as she asked, “Did you and Daniel think of that before you left Colorado to look for us?”
“No. It was too early for the Indians to be doing much. Besides, I think we were young and foolish then.” She had to stop to steady her voice.
Amelia said, “Amy, if ever faith is important, it’s important now.”
“You think that if I just pray, God will bring my husband back to me?”
“You know I don’t mean that. Daniel’s been saying it pretty strongly to me. Faith means having confidence that God is in control, and also that there’s nothing in His creation which doesn’t fit into His plan.” Amelia smiled gently. “See, I’m learning my lesson. I said this over and over the day the accident happened.”
“I know,” Amy replied soberly, “and I also know God’s plans could be completely different from the plans I hold in my head. But somehow I didn’t think we’d work out all our troubles just to end up losing—having something like this happen.” She faced Amelia, unable to keep back the rush of words, “Oh, Mother, I’m so frightened. I love Daniel and I just can’t see life going on without him.” Amelia’s head was bowed. She didn’t reply.
The wagon train turned northeast out of Fort Union. Finally Amelia said, “This is the way we came down from Raton Pass after the accident. It was a steep hill; now we’ll have to climb it.”
“What happened to the team?”
“One of the horses had a cut on his leg. We decided to sell them both. The wagon was a pile of firewood.”
They rode all that day through the arid desert flatlands. Ahead of them the line of blue mountains promised relief from the dust and burning sun, but they seemed to keep their distance. When Amy pulled Daniel’s old hat forward to shade her eyes, she remarked, “Seems hard to realize Colorado is still having snow. Another week of riding and we’ll be wishing some of this warmth back on us.”
Amelia’s sharp glance made Amy straighten in the saddle and smile. “Well, can you recommend the scenery, Mother?”
“It gets better as we go. Amy, you haven’t asked about the wagons ahead of us.”
“Father told me there’s some wounded Colorado men riding along. I wonder why.”
“They are going home. But they are still soldiers. I understand their injuries aren’t serious enough to prevent them from protecting the wagons.”
Late in the afternoon one of the men came riding back to Amy and Amelia. Cheerfully he hailed them. “Name’s Downs. Guess I’m in charge. How are you ladies? Are you enjoying the scenery?” Amy nodded and he added, “Just wanted to let you know we’ll soon be stopping for the night. We’re getting pretty close to the Maxwell ranch.” He explained, “A fellow by the name of Lucian Maxwell has been acquiring a sizable hunk of the territory. Just ahead is Cimarron, and the settlement is part of the Maxwell ranch. This means we’ll be under the protection of the ranch for another day or so.”
There was something guarded about the man’s manner, and Amelia asked the question Amy dared not ask. “Are you thinking we’ll have problems with the Indians?”
“The chances are more than likely. Ever heard of Taos Lightning?”
Amelia nodded and Amy said, “I hear it’s bad liquor. They sell it in Colorado Territory.”
“Well, there’s some ranchers and settlers hereabouts who’ve discovered there’s a good profit in selling the stuff to the Indians. Having the Army distracted by the war isn’t helping matters any.”
Amy could think only of Daniel. “Has there been anything happening—with the Indians, I mean—this past week?”
She saw the sympathy in his eyes as he shook his head. “No, ma’am. As far as we know there’s not been trouble like that recently. The Indian agent, Arny’s his name, seems to have a good handle on things right now. Soon it’s time for the men to be getting crops planted. That helps.” He hesitated and then added, “‘Course, it could be a different situation when we reach Colorado.”
Amy watched Downs’ brisk salute as he rode away from them.
“Shall we catch up with the wagon and see how your father is doing?” Amelia asked.
Chapter 20
Two days after leaving the Maxwell land grant, the wagon train reached the summit of Raton Pass. Since early morning heavy clouds had billowed over the mountain. Now it was snowing. Amy and Amelia were huddled in heavy coats, but the wind-driven snow lashed at their faces.
“Stay close to the wagon,” Amelia called as they rode along. Amy nodded and clung to the reins. The snow in front of the horses swirled, making Amy dizzy as she strained to see the trail in front of them. By the time they reached the crest of the mountain, the snow had nearly obscured the wagons. With heads down, the horses slowed to a walk, while snow piled a crown of white on their forelocks.
“Hey there!” Amy heard Downs long before she saw him. He appeared out of the storm like a white apparition. His hat and coat were plastered with snow while moisture dripped from his eyelashes as he said, “How about tying those mares to the back of the wagon? It’ll be warmer inside.”
“Eli needs all the space,” Amelia said tersely. “We’ll manage.”
Amy’s teeth were chattering as she asked, “Will we be stopping soon?”
There was a worried frown on Downs’ face. He shook his head, saying, “Not until we get down off this mountain. Rate this snow is falling, we won’t be able to find the road by morning. I’m guessing another hour will see us out of the worst of it. Welcome to Colorado Territory, ladies.” He touched his hat and rode away.
“Amy, there’s room in the wagon for you,” Amelia offered, guiding her horse close and peering down at Amy.
Amy saw the worried frown and shook her head. “I’ll be fine, Mother. I’m just as tough as you are. I just hope—”
Amelia reached across to Amy. “Please, dear, don’t worry; instead let’s pray that he’s not out in this.”
By late afternoon, they had dropped down to the lowlands. The snow stopped and the Colorado foothills were nearly as warm as the New Mexico flatlands had been. Amy looked at the sagebrush decorated with a frosting of snow and said, “I didn’t think sage could possibly be this welc
ome.”
Amelia pointed ahead, saying, “I’m of the opinion that’s the ranch we’re bound for. The first wagon is turning off the road, and I think I see buildings in the distance.”
“I wonder if there are Indian troubles ahead,” Amy mused.
“Because we’re stopping early?” Amelia asked, shaking the wet snow off her scarf. “Well, I’ll be grateful for shelter for any reason.”
Lights were appearing in the windows of the long, low adobe building as they rode up. Amy watched the men lift her father to the ground and then hand him the crutches. Amelia gave the reins of her horse to Amy. “If you’ll take her to the barn, I’ll go with Eli.”
After taking the horses to water and giving them grain, Amy turned them out to pasture and headed for the house. When she reached the farmhouse, she followed the sound of voices and the clatter of dishes. She discovered the other travelers had gathered in the low-beamed main room.
Briefly she stood in the doorway looking around the pleasant twilight-filled hall. At the far end she could see tables being set for a meal. Logs blazed in the stone fireplace stretching across the opposite end of the room. Already the members of the wagon train were lined close to the fire, and the steam was beginning to rise from their sodden garments.
Amy unwound her scarf and pulled off her coat as she walked across the room. The wan faces of the wounded soldiers lifted, and they shuffled down to make room for her. Her father was on a bench on the far side of the fire.
She glanced around and then asked, “Where’s Mother?” The injured soldier sitting close to the fire shrugged. “Is Mother changing bandages?”
The soldier beside her answered, “No, ma’am, she’s talking to that fella over by the kitchen door. Don’t know who he is, but she headed straight over there as soon as we came in. I’m guessing it’s someone she’s known elsewhere.”
Amy followed the man’s pointing finger. In the shadows she saw the two with their heads close together. She recalled the soldier’s statement and turned away. Moving her shoulders uneasily, Amy said, “She’ll be back to help,” nodding at the soldier’s bandaged arm.
“We appreciate it,” the soldier murmured softly. “It’s good of her, and not a one of us expected that of a lady.”
Apologetically he added, “It isn’t pleasant. Thornton over there is missing the most of his hand. Your mother’s kept it from poisoning on him. Not many supplies to work with, except the turpentine.” He added, “Better that than nothing.”
“I’m surprised,” Amy said softly, “that they’d let you travel without medical supplies.”
The soldier raised his eyebrows. “Ma’am, compared to most, we don’t need anything.”
Amelia came toward the fireplace with the stranger in tow. “Amy, I’d like you to meet—”
Amy gasped, “Matt!” Amelia dropped her hand and looked from the stranger to Amy. “Mother, this is the fellow who stayed with us—the wounded soldier Daniel went to find.”
Turning back to Matt, Amy blinked as she studied the pale, weary face, and only then did she become aware of his ragged, soiled assortment of clothing. She blinked again when she saw it was topped with an old horse blanket. She opened her mouth to ask about his uniform, but his quick glance caught her attention. It was that haunted, trapped animal look. Was he pleading for silence?
Amy gulped. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“So you know my daughter?” The look Amelia turned on Matthew was sharp, questioning.
Matthew’s face was stamped with defeat. He admitted, “I was the one staying with them at Fort Union.” He turned to Amy with a perplexed frown. “Did Daniel stay behind?”
The implication struck Amy and she could only stare at him. Matthew was safe, but Daniel wasn’t with him. She turned away, saying dully, “As soon as we discovered you were missing, Daniel went looking for you. He didn’t come back.”
Matthew backed against the wall. For a moment he sagged there, slowly shaking his head. He lifted his head when Amy turned to face him. The twilight shadows of the room slanted across his pale face as he whispered, “Ma’am, I’m sorry. Will you give me your horse? I’ll go looking for him.”
“Where?” Amy stared up at him while the question settled into him. He shook his head with the futility of it and Amy stated, “Your wound needs attention. How did you walk this far in such condition?”
“Indians. That’s where I got the clothes. They were wanting information in exchange for food and shelter. But I was getting a bad feeling about it all. Uneasy is putting it mildly. Slipped out during the night.”
Amelia stepped closer to Matthew. Amy watched her intent study of his face. When Amelia turned from Matthew, her eyes had narrowed. Mother knows that man, and from her look, I don’t think she likes him at all.
Amelia’s voice cut through Amy’s thoughts. It was even, strangely controlled as she said, “Come meet Amy’s father.”
Later Amy confronted her mother, saying, “Mother, I don’t want to pry. Maybe I shouldn’t ask. How did you come to know Matt?”
Amelia frowned as she faced Amy. “I was living in Pennsylvania, working for a group of people who were helping the slaves run away from their masters.” She hesitated, and her voice softened as she went on. “Amy, when there’s more time, I’ll tell you all about it.”
She touched Amy’s cheek and said, “It’s strange we never met the Reb—the person staying with you. Surely my name was mentioned. But I can guess Matthew didn’t bother telling you that we’ve known each other for years. He has some unhappy memories of that time.”
“Oh,” Amy replied, her eyebrows raised.
Amelia turned quickly and snapped, “It’s not what you think!” Abruptly she squeezed Amy. “I’m sorry. It is nothing more than I deserved, but it wasn’t that at all. One of these days, when I can—” She paused. “For now we’ll just have to wait for our talk.”
After supper Amy helped with the dishes while the wounded travelers huddled around the fire. By the time the dishes were finished, the soldiers began to disappear. One by one they carried their blankets off to the sleeping quarters. When Amy came back into the room, she found Downs beside the fire with her mother and father.
Amy sat down on the bench as Amelia addressed him. “This young fellow, Matt, wants to ride with us tomorrow. I knew him years ago, and I think he’s a pretty decent fellow. He told me he’s down on his luck, doesn’t have a horse, and he needs a ride into Denver.”
Downs listened intently, studying Amelia’s face as she talked. Amy could see the hesitancy reflected in his eyes. Finally he said, “We’ve been cautioned against picking up riders. There’s rumors of soldiers, both Union and Confederate, cutting out of New Mexico. How do I know he isn’t one of them?”
“Does it matter? He’s human and needs a helping hand right now. Seems to me that’s most important.” Amelia delivered the statement in an even, emotionless voice, while Amy sat on her hands to hide their trembling.
Downs continued to study Amelia. Finally he got to his feet, saying, “Might tell the fellow he can join up with us. We may need all the Indian fighters we can get before this trip is over. I hear the Utes are riled and they’re headed this way.”
“I thought the Utes left the white people alone,” Amy said slowly.
“Not now. In the past they’ve been pretty easy to get along with, but with the war, right now all the Indians need to be regarded as dangerous. Don’t forget, the fighting in New Mexico has drained off the protection the soldiers have given us in the past. Like I said, we need all the help we can get.” He started to walk away and then he stopped and turned back to them.
“Don’t waste time a-worryin’ about Indians. There’s a string of little settlements all the way up to Denver. Might say we’ll plan on hopping from one to the other. The worst that could happen is we’ll have to hole up in some little village for a time.”
Amelia watched Amy climb the stairs to the room shared by the girls of the house. She tu
rned to see Eli struggle to remove his one boot.
“Wait a minute and I’ll help you,” she told him. Picking up the pile of blankets and quilts, she carried them to the bunk built into the wall close to the fireplace.
Eli crossed the room on his crutches and helped her straighten the bedding. “Eli,” she said slowly, “I’ve something on my mind; could I tell you about it before we sleep?”
His voice was a low rumble. “I figured as much. Might as well.”
“Oh, Eli,” she murmured, hesitating, and then said, “Please, be patient with me. It’s about Matthew. See, I know him from the past. We were together in Pennsylvania. Right now I have a feeling Matthew needs help from a person who knows something about him. I saw your eyes when I introduced him. I don’t deserve your trust, but please, Eli, I must beg this of you. Be patient and don’t think wrong of me.” With a touch of sarcasm, she added, “How could anyone think me other than what I appear?”
“Well, I do. I nearly thought—” Amelia caught her breath and he added sadly, “Even a joke can’t be said.”
He seemed to be studying every scar on her face as he added, “And you’ll need to be patient with me, Amelia. Old thoughts take a while to die.”
“Never mind that now. I’m trying to tell you, this young man needs our help and prayers. I’ll do my best to see he travels on with us—clear to Denver City, if possible.”
He smiled at her and touched her cheek. “Go to it, my dear, and may you have good success. I promise you I won’t act the part of a jealous husband.”
“Eli, you are only half serious. I see this as a second chance for Matthew. But he’ll need to unscramble the mess he has made of his life. This is a cause for desperate prayer.”
Eli studied her face soberly. Finally he said, “Then, my dear, come to bed and we’ll pray together. But I think you need to tell me more.”
Amelia hesitated. “If I tell you all, then how effective can your ministry be to him? I think he needs to do the telling.”
The next morning Amelia decided where Matt would ride. She looked from the crowded wagon to the two horses and said, “I guess we can trade off. Me and you, Matt. Eli needs to keep that leg straight, and you look like you could use a good rest for a couple of days. That wagon seat is only next best to nothing. We’ll see if you can squeeze in beside Eli.”