"I'm not trying to attack you with words or anything. I just want to know what you are."
"It really doesn't matter what I am. All you need to know is that I'm not human."
"But are you... like me?"
Another pause. I pleaded he would tell me and keep the suspense for something else. In these times, I needed to know who was my friend and who I couldn't trust and he was making it difficult for me to put him somewhere in my life. "What do you mean like you?" he asked raising an eyebrow. Rolling my eyes, I tapped my foot impatiently. "You know... An archangel," I said. Sighing, he got up and turned to me.
"Look, it doesn't matter what I am. I fight for what you fight for and that's that."
"You're really going to pull that crap?"
"Actually, yeah. Because I like being mysterious and suspenseful."
I sighed and rubbed my temples, standing and staring at the lake in front of us. Things needed to make sense and quick, but it seemed as though R wouldn't grant me any peace of mind. Something drew my attention upwards; a presence that was familiar and dark. My heart dropped when the outline of a dragon flew through the veil of the dark clouds that still shrouded us from the sun and the hope of seeing the Light again. Taking in a deep breath, I turned my head to R and glared at him. "We don't have the time for you to be stubborn. You're making this excruciatingly difficult for me," I said nearly sobbing. His body shot up straight and he stood next to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "What am I making difficult for you?" he asked. I turned to him and looked up into his eyes.
"Finding a peace of mind. Something that was lost to me since I lost... Jophiel."
"Another archangel? He's dead?"
"It... was my fault."
Tears escaped the brims of my eyes as the memory came back at me at full force. With a clear head, I knew it wasn't my fault, but I could have somehow stopped it. I found out how powerful I was before then and I could have used that power to save him. "How was it your fault?" he asked, his voice coming off as strained. Taking in a deep breath, I wiped at my face. "We were fighting an army of demons and the fear dragon came for him," I said painfully. He took my hand and put it to my chest; a way of connecting with my feelings. "Fear dragon?" he asked. I had forgotten that he hadn't been around when we found out what it was and all I could do was push the image of the dragon to his mind. His eyes grew dark as his mind saw the image of the shadow-made dragon, clearing when he pushed it away. "What happened?" he demanded. I was surprised; for someone who hadn't been connected to me or any of us, he seemed desperate to find out every detail of that day. Unfortunately, all I wanted was to shut up about it and forget it; make it a lost memory until I faced it again.
His hands clasped my shoulders and he shook me, demanding I look in his eyes. "Tell me what happened," he said, the faint line of a snarl forming at his mouth.
"I was pinned by a shadow hound as the fear dragon met Jophiel on a hill," I explained. My eyes closed as the memory flooded in and all the things I had felt came back to me; a ghost of the nightmare. "I felt his fear, R. He just stood there staring at the dragon, but I knew how scared he was... and it swallowed him whole," I said through clenched teeth. More tears flowed from my eyes, threatening to drown me in the sorrow and loneliness. A void had opened that day; one that would refuse to be filled by anyone or anything else. When I opened my eyes, I caught the pained expression across his face before he wiped it off aggressively with his hand. "Are you... okay?" I asked him, tilting my head.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I should be asking you that question."
"It hurts more than you can imagine. As funny as it sounds, I loved him."
"I know."
My heart stopped. My mind had begun racing with how he would know, but nothing connected. "H-how do you know?" I asked. His eyes found mine and he cleared his throat, straightening out his back. "I can see it in your eyes," he replied hoarsely. I began wiping viciously at my eyes, hoping it would stop the tears from flowing, but it didn't. Something began pulsing from under his shirt and I stared at it for a moment, thinking it could be just his heart pounding, but I found myself reaching for the end of his shirt. "What are you doing?" he asked sternly. My breath became easy and calm as I began lifting his shirt, revealing his toned stomach and as I pulled it up further, a faint line formed at the start of his chest. "Stop it," he demanded, pulling down his shirt and turning away.
"What don't you want me to see?"
"I'm not hiding anything, okay? Just because you lost someone you loved doesn't mean you can use me as a rebound."
"A... rebound? What? No! That's not what I'm trying to do."
"Then what are you trying to do, Uriel?"
The sky erupted with the dragon's roar, drawing my attention upward as it flew past us again, but he ignored it. I could tell that all he wanted was to know what I was trying to accomplish. My body was shaking uncontrollably and my emotions were frying me from the inside, wanting to burst out all at once. "Jophiel's Guardian left a note for him that said 'when one falls, the others will come' and since the day I lost him, I've been waiting and looking to the skies. This whole time, I've been waiting for the others to get here so we could end this. I feel them but do they feel me? Do they want to come find me or have they given up?" I said desperately, running out of breath. It was clear to me that he didn't know how to answer it, not that I ever thought he would. He sat down again and put his face in his hands. "What are you going to do about the dragon?" was all he asked. In truth, I didn't know myself how I would block out the fear it would try to paralyze me with, but I knew one thing. "I will fight it; bring justice to the one being that made me truly happy," I said softly, looking to the lake.
"But how if it can make you see the very things you fear?"
"R, I have nothing to fear anymore. All I want to do is slay the beast who took away a piece of me that will never be replaced."
He looked at me through his fingers and stood again, griping both arms with his hands. We stared at each other for a long moment, silence hanging in the air between us. Our energies collided and the world grew warmer. His hand dragged mine to touch the scar along his arm, without looking away. "I got this scar after I was corrupted by dark energy," he confessed. My fingers trailed along the risen, discolored skin. "When that happened, I was split in two and I found myself constantly fighting only one enemy; myself. I was a good person as I always had been, but the darkness threatening to consume me changed that and I shut out the people I loved so I couldn't hurt them. For months, I fought myself and one day, I found I had control over the darkness," he continued. I stared at him then. He had gone through things I never thought anyone would; darkness is powerful and for someone to fight it, made them stronger than they should have appeared. He took a deep breath before talking again.
"In the end, I found that I could never rid myself of the darkness. It was as if it didn't want to leave, so now, it follows me everywhere. And I control it -- use it to fight against its own energy. I found myself more powerful that way and I was finally able to fight the battle I was destined to fight."
My mind raced with questions for him-- how it felt to have darkness running through his veins and how he was able to control it, but only one question reached out. "How are you still yourself when darkness has only ever taken people away from who they once were?" I asked.
"I promised someone that no matter what, I would always be myself because they liked me that way... we were a perfect pair."
"Your girlfriend?"
"No, my brother."
Silence found us once more, weighing down on my shoulders with the untold truth. His past was complex and full of stories I had yet to hear and through my need to find out what he was, I found it didn't matter. Jophiel was right; people aren't what they appear to be. R had the power of darkness in hand, but he used it for good when others would allow it to consume them and use it for the evil it was intended to be used for. He stepped away from me and looked to the lake, a single tear falling down
his cheek and as I went to wipe it, he moved further away. "I promised Jophiel," he said, swallowing hard. My heart skipped beats and confusion set in, drowning me in new questions. "W-what?" was all that came from my mouth. Instead of answering me verbally, he pulled off his shirt, letting his wings spring from his back. My eyes traveled to his chest where a single scar pulsed softly against discolored flesh. He really was like me and he hid from his true name. Raphael.
Chapter Twenty Five
A little more than a year ago, I had woken to a world I knew nothing of. In that time, I was innocent like a newborn baby; never believing the evil hiding in the shadows of everyday life. I came in alone and along the way, relationships grew and were shattered by the darkness I was supposed to protect them from. When the world fell to Hell, I lost the love of my life and here I find myself standing in front of his brother. His muscles were clenched tight across his chest as I traced the scar, Raphael's sigil. My mind was constantly racing and inside, I was beating myself up. I should have remembered him -- should have remembered his brother and their relationship, but only now did the memories come to me. Their relationship was deeper than any non-family love could ever be and I had just told him that Jophiel no longer existed on this plane. He had fought past the corruption that constantly threatened to take over the Light inside him only to come out alone. I had cried too much for more tears to shed for our losses and I knew apologizing would get us nowhere. Instead, I remained silent as he breathed heavily in front of me, only to push off the ground and fly from me, leaving me alone once more.
The realization that another archangel had come for me gave me hope, but not as much as I thought it would. In that moment as I stood there, overlooking the lake that reflected our world, I had wished that any of the others would have come instead. Wiping at my reddened face, I took off toward home, letting the wind guide my wings. Gazardiel had to know... they all did and I had to tell them that we might have lost his company among us at the house. I understood; all I wanted to do after Jophiel was killed was be alone to mourn -- something I couldn't do and still cannot. Back then when I flew with Jophiel, flying made me feel free. But how can I be free when it feels as if a leash is holding me from my home, not allowing me to fly as high as the clouds... not allowing me to touch the Heavens?
Landing in front of the house, I straightened up and pushed myself inside, calling out for Gazardiel who appeared in front of me with a panicked expression across his face. "Uriel--" he began to say. I put a hand up and spoke, needing to tell him immediately. "Gazardiel, R is Raphael. He's also Jophiel's brother," I said quickly over him. His mouth closed and he stared at me with wide eyes.
"You're serious?"
"Yes. He confessed his identity and told me about his scar. He was corrupted and has been fighting it from day one, using it against its own... because he promised Jophiel he would never lose himself."
"Where is he now? Shouldn't he have come with you?"
"That's the thing. He took off when I told him his brother was dead. We'll be okay, I swear. We found another archangel, which leaves us waiting for two more. They can't be that far--"
Gazardiel stopped me for a moment as Jenna came rushing through the hall, stopping in front of us. She looked scared and confused and I took her hand as she bent over, gasping for breath. "T-there are... p-people in the study," she said. "They want to talk to b-both of you." We looked at one another and rushed into the study. I knew the presence immediately and looked around, hoping none of the humans would be around when the meeting is held. When I stepped inside, the air around me got colder and I closed the door, turning to the council. My eyes traveled over each hooded figure, feeling something was off and so I counted. There were only four members standing in front of us and I let out a breath. "Councilmen," Gazardiel said in greeting, bowing his head. One of the smaller council members stepped forward and bowed quickly. "We do not mean to intrude without notice," a woman's voice said from behind her hood. "But as you can see, we are missing one of our own." I gazed intently at each member, noticing the missing member was the one who had attacked me and I had to fight back a sigh of relief. "What happened to him?" I asked curiously.
"We do not know. That is why we are here."
"What do you mean? What do we have to do with his disappearance?”
"Before he left, he was going on about talking to you privately. Since that day, he has not returned."
My stomach plummeted. Something had happened to him after our encounter and though I had no sympathy, I was pretty sure they weren't going to stop here. My eyebrow went up in question and Gazardiel stepped beside me. "What are you trying to say?" he asked. The woman turned to the others who had a silent conversation between one another. When she turned back, she pulled down her hood, revealing lacerations in her face and full, gray eyes. "We have reason to believe that Uriel may be responsible for his disappearance and we would like to question her," she said coldly. They were accusing me? My fingers curled at my sides, forming fists at the accusation. "How dare you accuse me," I said through clenched teeth, being pulled back by Gazardiel.
"Leave us."
I turned to Jenna and Gazardiel who looked at me with sad, apologetic eyes and left me alone with the only beings who could make me squirm in my skin. When the door closed, the others sat on the sofa while the woman approached me with hard eyes. Inside my chest, my heart was racing as if something in me knew exactly what would happen if I didn't cooperate. "Uriel, you may call me Sael. I am the second in command of this council and I need to know what you recall from the day our member visited you," she said. My hands yearned to fiddle with something and I forced them to stay at my sides, picking the stitching at my pants. Goosebumps had formed on my skin and it seemed as if the temperature in the room kept plummeting. "Uriel," she said again, raising her voice. "If you refuse to cooperate, you will be punished. This is a matter you cannot escape from. Did you think that we would not know one of our own is missing?" she asked coldly.
“N-no. It's just... I didn't realize he would even go missing."
"What do you mean?"
"Y-you see, Sael. When he visited me, it was more of an ambush."
Her body straightened and she took off her robe, revealing a tattered dress beneath it of faded colors. Both her arms and legs were skinny as a rail; humans would call her anorexic. Her long, slender fingers curled around my chin and forced me to look at her. "Our members would never ambush anyone. Why do you accuse him of attacking you?" she demanded. Bile threatened and pushed from my stomach and I swallowed, sucking in my trembling lip. "I don't mean to accuse, Sael, but he was... corrupted," I said meekly. The temperature rose and fell as if it was attached to her emotions.
"We are stronger than corruption."
"I do not doubt that. I saw it in a memory; he ate a demon and shifted into one. Then, that day, he used his mind manipulation against me. He made me see the fear dragon and he made me watch and feel as it tore me apart. He's working for Lucifer."
"No, do not trick us. We can see right through you. Or, I can at least."
I found myself pushed into a single seat in the corner of the room and she knelt in front of me with the beginning of a snarl forming at her lips. From the way she was acting, I could see through her and found her relationship with that member. They were together; something I didn't think was allowed between the neutral beings. Her hands cupped my face and her index fingers pushed at my temples. Her eyes darkened and rolled back and I was immediately sucked into my own memory.
We stood beside each other in my memories, watching things play out in third person. "I want to warn you of the truth you seek," I said quietly beside her. Together, we stood, observing the past memory of his ambush and from the inside. Her hands trembled against my head. When we had gone past the last memory, the world fell apart and pieced itself back together in the present. Her hands let go of my face and she stood shakily, turning to the others. There was a long silence that followed and I sat there fiddling wi
th my thumbs as they had their wordless conversation without me. When she turned to me, her face was splotched and a tear had run down her eyes. "It seems as though that you were truthful and for our accusation, we apologize. However, we need to get to the bottom of who killed him," she said, putting her fingers to her lips.
"Wait, he was killed? By who?"
"One of you."
"How do you know this?"
"We know all. But most of all..."
My eyes followed her hand to the pocket of her dress where she pulled out a single white feather, doused in blood. My heart plummeted into my stomach, and I doubled over. That blood could be theirs. Something inside my heart fluttered as the thought of another dying occurred, and I reached out to feel them. There were still three of them. I looked back up at her and pushed my hair back. "There was no body," she confirmed before I could even ask. "That is why we have come to you." My hands were wet with desperation. I found myself fighting to think of who could have done it and where they could have gone. I stood quickly, stopping to wait off the dizzying feeling of standing quickly to dissipate. "Father would be able to tell you who did it," I said straightening my back.
"No, He cannot. He is far too busy with the events happening on Heaven's plane."
"What do you mean?"
"It is none of your concern. Earth is where your duty lies."
Sighing, I rubbed my temples and began pacing the floor, trying to search for answers. The door opened and clicked closed, and the familiar presence wrapped around me. My eyes found Raphael who stood tall at the door with his chest out, looking like the soldier I always knew he was. "Ah, Raphael, it is nice to see you," Sael said blandly. He stepped beside me and put a hand on my shoulder without looking back at me. "I'm not here for you, I'm here for Uriel," he said.
Uriel (The Hallowed Chronicles Book 1) Page 15