He ran shaking hands down his face. Taking in a deep breath, he prayed to every god he could name for the strength to finish his confession.
“Our swords clashed. I tried to talk to him, to reason with him, but murder burned within his eyes. The fight led us out to the balcony. I pinned him against the railing, knocking his sword away.” His voice cracked as the world began to close in on him. “I told him we were finished. I told him to forget his rage, to lay down his jealousy. I turned my back on him…”
Silence crowded the room and thickened the air until Eva found it difficult to breath.
“It was raining. Thunder and lightning splintered the heavens.” His gaze dropped to the weapon that now lay abandoned on the floor at his feet. “I heard him unsheathe a dagger.”
Eva’s hands clenched in her lap, her claws extended. The delicate sound of ripping silk hit her ears like a shock wave of an exploding grenade.
Oh, god, no, she silently pleaded.
“He rushed me, the blade nicked by throat.” Hadrian fell forward, his knees smacking the marble platform. His fingers gripped his head and dug into his skull as the memories attacked. He could feel the rain hit his face. He could hear the deafening stillness of death. The image of Titus’s impaled, lifeless body flashed through his mind.
“In that moment, I did not see Titus as my brother. I saw him as a twisted, demented beast. I saw our sire, Imbrasus, glaring at me through his eyes.” He doubled over, his arms wrapping about his middle. Eva forced herself to remain still. He needed to say these words. He needed to share his sins. He needed to release his guilt so he could heal. “For the first time, I saw Titus, the true Titus. He was no longer my brother. He was not the Titus I knew growing up.” Hadrian began to rock back and forth on his knees, his head hung low, his eyes squeezed closed. “In that moment…I wanted to kill him.”
Hadrian’s voice caught, the words he so desperately needed to say were choking him as the memory of that night played like a silent film through his mind. He could feel the madness. It flowed like thick poison through his veins.
Say it, he demanded. Say the words. Tell her what you have done. Prove to her that you are a monster, that you are unworthy of her kindness and affection.
He knew he should tell her his actions. They would disgust her. They would make her flee. It would be easier for the both of them if she hated him. But damn the gods, he could not lose her. Eva had been the only good thing his insanity had brought him. She was a ray of light, a beacon of hope and his soul cried out for her.
Hadrian drew in rapid breaths, filling his lungs with her delicate scent. He imagined her hands stroking his back, her warmth seeping into him. The chaos in his mind slowly began to fade.
Gathering his strength, he shoved the madness aside, banishing it to the recesses of his mind. It would not stop him from confessing his sins, it would no longer keep him for asking for forgiveness and he desperately needed to be forgiven.
He sucked in a trembling breath and forced the words to pass his lips, “Titus swung his blade, aiming for my heart and I shoved him. He stumbled back. Titus tried to steady himself, but the balcony was slick from the rain and the railing was short…I watched my brother plummet to his death.”
No longer able to hold back, Eva sprang to her feet and darted up the steps. Wrapping her arms about him, she pulled him to her. His wide shoulders shook as a sob wrenched from his chest. Her eyes stung with tears. She cried for him, for his loss. She understood his guilt. He believed he was a murderer, a monster, but it had been an accident, or according to some laws, a justifiable homicide. Titus had meant to kill him. His twin was the beast and Hadrian the victim. For hundreds of years he carried this dark secret and it tore at his soul.
“You were defending yourself and it was an accident.”
He shook his head, his cheek rubbing against her chest. “No, Eva. I murdered him. I should not have pushed him so hard. I should have wrested the dagger from him. I should have done something, anything other than killing him. No matter what he had become, no matter how evil he may have been…he was my brother. My twin.”
She tightened her arms about him. “You did what you had to do.”
He shoved her away. “It should have been me. I should have died that day, not Titus. Never Titus. He was weak and impressionable. I was to protect him. Always protect him.” Red bled into the whites of his eyes. “I failed him.”
“He was a grown man, not a child,” Eva reasoned. “He made his own decisions.”
“I never should have abandoned him to travel. I should never have allowed Moreau to come between us.”
“You need to let go of the guilt. If Titus had not surrendered to his jealously and greed, none of this would have happened.”
His fiery eyes glazed over as he stared past her. Eva glanced over her shoulder. There was nothing, no one. Was he reliving the fight?
After a long moment of silence he finally spoke, his words cold, his tone haunting. “I did die that night.”
Eva frowned. She wished she knew what was going on in his mind. Had her mother possessed any special gifts that she could have passed to her? She wished she could see into his past or read his thoughts. She wanted to help him. She felt as if it were her right and responsibility to take care of him, to soothe his wounds and mend his soul. Instinct demanded she do…something.
She cupped his face, her thumbs stroking over his cheeks. His turbulent emotions attacked her senses. She could feel his hate heat his skin, hear the regret that laced his voice, and taste his despair. Her heart wept for him.
“Oh, Eva, the worst has yet to be told.”
He focused on his reflection and sneered. His face twisted revealing the demon.
Tell her everything. She needs to know everything. Then she will understand why we cannot be together. She will see why I am dangerous. She will leave.
The vampire cried out, begging him to keep quiet. Odd, the fiend feared the truth. Until now, it had reveled in its deeds, proud of the pain it had inflicted.
He drew away from her. Eva’s hands fell to her sides.
“I killed my maker, Imbrasus, the Father of the Validus. I sentenced that bastard to Hell. I drained him. I consumed every last drop of evil that resided in his soul. I took his demon.”
“I don’t understand.”
A hard laugh escaped him. “I carry his vampire.”
“That’s not possible,” she insisted. “During the transformation, the curse’s poison invades the soul. If the person survives the change the magic in their blood creates the vampire. Demons can’t be transferred.”
His lips turned up in a cruel smile. “Would you be willing to stake your life on that popular belief?” His voice deepened and scratched over her skin as he said, “I would be happy to collect my winnings.”
Eva shook her head, ignoring his taunt. “Tell me how this happened.”
“He forced his blood on me beneath a full moon. My transformation was immediate.” Hadrian paused as the memory crept forward. “My change was violent and my desire to kill the beast that had ruined my life was overwhelming. I held him down and drank deep. He was unable to stop me, already weak from the Death Curse. I drained him. I felt his immortality fail beneath my fangs.” Gods, it had been a powerful, drugging sensation that rocked him to the core and poisoned his soul. Evil had strengthened his cells as the ancient’ blood filled his body.
Eva held back her shock. Masking her expression with a frown. She had never heard of anything like this.
He has said that he isn’t like other vampires, she reminded herself.
Her blood turned cold and slowed her heart.
Hadrian could flash from place to place, dematerialize and appear at will, a gift only Dimitri, the last remaining original vampire possessed. And Hadrian’s eyes did not turn the customary black of a fledgling. His gaze glowed red as fresh spilled blood when his vampire emerged.
Had Imbrasus’s eyes been red?
“Until Titus�
��s death I had been able to control the beast. My mind was strong, which was one of Imbrasus’s reasons for changing me. When I watched Titus fall, the barrier between the demon and myself collapsed. The fiend attacked my psyche, extracting its revenge and punishing me for its confinement. I have relived every evil act Imbrasus committed.” His hands came to cover his ears as if he could muffle the voices. “I hear the screams and the pleas for mercy. I see the pale faces of countless corpses. I taste the blood and the death of every victim. It has attached its memories to mine. Twisting and blending everything together until I can no longer distinguish the memories from reality.”
She felt ill. She had heard stories of Imbrasus, legends of his cruelty. He tortured, maimed, raped and slaughtered for the fun of it all. Imbrasus had hunted shifters to near extinction, driving the survivors to flee their homes, abandoning Europe to the vampires. To this day, none had returned.
Her hand came to her throat. She couldn’t breathe as realization choked her, cutting off her airway. The vampire had caused Hadrian’s madness. It was destroying him from the inside out. It had torn him apart as he mourned his brother, seizing upon his weakness. The vampire imprisoned Hadrian for centuries, torturing him. This was the reason he believed they could not be together. He feared the demon.
“I have the devil in my bones, Eva.” His hands fell to his chest. “I cannot control it.”
“You are no monster. You may carry one inside you, but you, Hadrian Lucretius, are no monster. Titus’s death was an accident. You did not shove him with the purpose of sending him over the edge. He slipped. And I won’t nor will anyone else hold his passing against you. Hadrian, you had every right to fight back. As for the vampire, you have it on a short leash.”
Hadrian blinked. “Last night, in my bed, I almost killed you. I wanted to taste your pleasure rich blood and feel your pulse fade beneath my lips.”
“You left”
“I could have—”
“You are no beast. You are gentle, kind, and selfless. There were numerous times when you could have taken my blood or claimed my life. But every time you pulled away, showing restraint.”
“I do not want to bring pain to anyone.”
She reached out, her fingers brushing the line of his jaw.
His heart was as still as his lungs. Hadrian closed his eyes unable to stomach her tender display. Why was she touching him? Why was she trying to console him?
“The demon does not have hold of you.” Her hands slipped to his shoulders. “Hadrian, look at me.”
He slowly lifted his eyelids. Her gaze was so lovely, so pure. He was tempted to look away, those amber orbs could see straight into his soul.
“You need to remember who you are,” she said, her voice low, the words soft. “Remember the man you are. Put down the shame and release your guilt.” Her fingers lightly massaged the tension from his muscles. “You need to forgive yourself and allow yourself to heal. Only then will you be able to begin again and it is time you started living.”
Hadrian had not felt the tears slip from his eyes and roll down his face, but Eva swept them away with her thumbs. He had been told words like these before, but they had never hit him like this.
“Stop living in the past.” She leaned forward and kissed the corner of his eye. “Be here with me.”
Eva took his hands. Hadrian rose to his feet with her. She pressed him back and he fell onto the throne. A sensual smile graced her lips as she untied her robe. The silk slipped to the floor, revealing her short light blue nightgown.
His brain went into overdrive, desperately trying to process what was happening. She still wanted to be with him. She was not repulsed by his confessions or frightened.
Eva sank to her knees. He reached for her shoulders.
“No,” she said as she ran her hands up his thighs.
She was beginning to shiver. Hadrian commanded the balcony doors to close, blocking the rush of cold wind and locking out the storm.
Her fingers slipped the button of his slacks free. The zipper came next. She parted his torn shirt, pushing it aside, revealing his abdomen.
Hadrian’s hands fell and he gripped the arms of the chair. Air hissed between his clenched teeth as she pressed her lips to his ribs. Moving lower, her tongue swirled over his muscles and delved into his navel.
He kicked free of his shoes while she pushed his pants down and off. His erection free, it strained for her touch. She came closer. His groan cut through the silence as she slowly ran her tongue over her lips.
“I have been wanting to taste you,” she whispered, her breath caressing his aroused flesh.
Eva took him in her hand, unable to close her fingers around his girth. He was hot and hard, iron wrapped in silk. She stroked him. Her movements agonizingly slow as she learned the feel of him. Dipping her head down, she tasted him, her tongue gliding from the base of his shaft to the swollen tip as she cupped his sac and massaged the hard weights. She traced the head of his penis with her tongue and lapped at the bead of moisture that formed. She peeked up at him from beneath her long, dark lashes. Hadrian thought he would faint dead away from pleasure. Eva pressed a loving kiss to the broad tip before drawing his length into her mouth, taking him deep.
Hadrian’s back arched, his nails cut into the wooden arms of the chair. He nearly came. She suckled, up and down. Bringing her hands up, she used them both to pump him into her mouth. Her tongue teased and tortured. His muscles strained, his breathing uneven. She worked him until he teetered on the edge of oblivion.
He could take no more. Reaching down, he circled his arms about her waist. Eva pouted as he drew her to her feet. He could not wait. He needed her. He needed to bury himself inside her searing core. He needed to feel her ripple around him as she came. He needed to release deep within her. Gods, he had never wanted anything more in his life. All his energy focused on her, his world revolved around her.
Hadrian was not gentle as he tore at her nightgown, the delicate fabric drifted to the cool marble floor in pieces. Leaning forward, he pushed her thighs apart, his fangs biting through the thin material of her pants. The scent of her arousal hit him like a freight train.
He hooked a hand beneath her knee and raised her right leg to set her small foot on the lion’s head. He licked up her center, finding her hot and wet. She was ready for him. He shuddered. Gods, she was divine. Her taste and response was sweet perfection. He laved at her, his tongue thrust inside then circled her clitoris and he repeated the rhythm until she came, her beautiful body trembling from the force of her pleasure.
He dragged her forward. She fell, her thighs parting to straddle his lap. His mouth claimed hers, matching the vicious intensity of the storm that battled outside. The kiss was ferocious, devouring, branding. He arched her back over his forearm, her breasts thrust upward to meet his ravenous mouth.
Eva cradled his head as he worshipped her. He suckled, wild, frenzied, his lips pulled at her nipples. His other hand massaged her hip and pressed her down. Her sex glided over his raging erection, silk over steel.
He reached between their bodies. He caressed, tempted and sank two long fingers into her. Eva cried out. The combination of his mouth on her breast and skilled fingers stroking her was exquisite. She rocked against him, desperate for release.
Hadrian lifted his head and watched with burning eyes as she writhed in pleasure. Her breath caught as lightning split the sky and thunder shook the windows. She surrendered. Eva’s head fell back, her body arching and as ecstasy crashed into her, Hadrian thrust upward, impaling her, filling her.
He gripped her nape, pulling her forward, forcing her to meet his gaze. Her eyes glowed, the amber light shown brightly in the dark room.
“Ride me,” he commanded.
Panting and weak from her orgasm, Eva hesitantly rocked her hips. Her eyes grew wide, the sensation curling her toes.
“That’s it, little one,” he groaned, leaning back.
He dropped his hands and once again gripped
the chair. He gave her complete control. His vampire roared. It wanted her blood. It demanded he sink his fangs into her throat. With a shoved, he forced it back and focused on Eva.
Her rhythm became wild, her body moving frantically. Her hips twisted up and slammed back down. Hadrian gritted his teeth as she took him, claimed him. Their eyes remained fixed on each other. There were no barriers between them, no restraints. Pure, honest passion sizzled around them, connecting them, binding them.
Hadrian felt the warmth of life spread through him. His heart slammed in his chest, his breaths were quick, and both matched Eva’s. He could feel his soul strengthening. She had accepted him. She was his redemption.
Hadrian’s hand entangled in her silken hair and he captured her lips. His tongue swept inside, tasting her. He swallowed her bliss filled sighs, savoring the heat of her breath in his lungs.
Her nails bit into his shoulders, drawing blood. He kicked his head back, howling his pleasure. Gods, she robbed him of his sanity. His hands gripped her hips, pinning her. He seized control. Eva thrashed atop him, her thighs gripping him, her nails scratching down his chest as he buried himself deeper and deeper within her. His thrusts were hard and fast, unrelenting and demanding.
“More,” she growled.
Hadrian complied. Her breasts quivered from each powerful thrust. Her body grew taut, her inner muscles tightened around his shaft as he embedded himself to the hilt. The tension in her body built and built, becoming unbearable.
Mark him, her instincts whispered. Claim him.
Caressed by a Crimson Moon (Rulers of Darkness) Page 23