She was ignoring his words of love again. Or maybe he was reading into a simple word too much.
At least she didn’t argue about staying with him. Until this guy was caught, he felt better with her under his roof. In his home. How long would she stay?
Best not to think about it.
“You’re ignoring me again.” She stopped and turned around, a flicker of surprise on her face as if she didn’t think he even followed her. Or it could’ve meant something else. His nerves were wired so high he didn’t know what to think anymore.
“Whatever you feel like is fine.”
She nodded, then grabbed his hand and started walking again. Hand-holding? That was new for him. He wasn’t much of a public display kind of guy. Yeah, chalk it up to his shyness. He liked it, though. He liked it a lot. Probably because it was Dee holding his hand.
They walked out of the precinct in silence, holding hands until they reached his car. He opened the door for her, waiting until she slid inside before closing it, then walked to the driver’s side. He smiled at the sweet grin on her face that he did that. Did no man ever do that for her?
He liked the thought he was the first guy to do it. It put him in a special spot. Something he did that nobody ever considered to do for her. He wanted to be special. Needed to be. Anything to keep her in his life for the long term.
They swung by McDonald’s, scarfing their food down on the way home. By the time they reached his house, they were both full and he had no idea what they’d do the rest of the day and night.
Dee obviously had more of a plan than he did because she went straight to his bedroom, changed into comfier clothes, then took a spot on his couch, switching the television on.
“Put a movie in. I wanna cuddle. I’ve never cuddled before. Have you?”
The innocent question swirled around them. He felt like it was very significant she admitted that. Cuddling wasn’t much, but it said plenty. Some might even say it was above casual sex. It was developing a closeness that suggested strong feelings. Especially after having sex. At least in his mind. He’d semi cuddled before. Meaning, he never really let his guard down with the few other women he dated. That shyness always lingered on the top, working him up into anxiety. The cuddling never lasted long.
His damn shyness always messed everything up. Except for Dee. Each second he was with her, it slowly withered away. That never happened with his other girlfriends. His shyness is normally what ruined the relationship. They couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t understand it.
“Are you my girlfriend?”
Oh, shit. He just blurted that out. He was back to saying the dumbest stuff. He refused to avert his eyes as his cheeks flamed with heat.
She cracked a smile, her lips pressed together as if she were trying hard not to laugh. A small chuckle escaped anyway. “You’re so adorable when you blush.”
He finally looked away. “I don’t blush.”
She got up and grabbed his hand, pulling him down onto the couch next to her. “You do, too, and it’s adorable as hell.” A quick kiss to his lips. “You don’t hate me? You’re not mad about this morning?”
“I get why you left. Not the best timing on your part, but I understand. I’m not trying to rush you into anything. Just forget everything I said today.”
Her eyes clouded over with sadness. “Everything?” Her tone dropped to a whisper. “Every word? Nobody’s ever said they loved me before. Not the way you said it.”
He looked away. “I didn’t mean to yell.”
“It was sexy as hell.”
He whipped his gaze back to her.
“Are you saying you didn’t mean it?”
“I meant it.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “Do you…does this count as cuddling?”
Close call. He almost asked her if she loved him, too. Hearing no would devastate him.
She bent her head, resting it against his shoulder as she positioned herself to be wrapped in his arms better. “I told you I suck at relationships. I’m sorr—”
“Stop. Don’t say those words. Ever again. I hate them.”
“Why?” She started to brush her fingers up and down his chest in smooth, small strokes. “I know he left a note with that, but why does it bother you so much?”
He wanted to ignore that question so badly. It didn’t take much for fight mode to initiate with her. He’d ignore the question and she’d storm off in anger. He didn’t want that. He also didn’t want to answer the question.
But maybe if she knew, she wouldn’t be as eager to find this guy herself. Just maybe.
“The guy who attacked you, he…”
Her fingers stalled near his belly button, a slight pressure as she tensed. “He what?”
He wrapped his hand around hers and squeezed. “He killed a woman. A week ago. He…” Sauer raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a tender kiss to it. “He left the same note.”
The shiver that wracked her body could only be interpreted in one way. Fear. Did she finally understand his persistence that she stay out of the investigation? Did she see why it frightened him so much?
“How?”
He dropped their hands to his lap and laughed, somewhat lamely. “Be thankful I shared what I did. I’m not going into details.”
She lifted her head and yanked her hand from his. “I can handle it.” She huffed. “Let’s skip the part where you ignore me. Why don’t you trust me?”
“It’s not about trust.”
“It is.”
“You want that make-up sex now?”
She blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”
“Well, we can sleep together and then you can leave again without telling me to go find this guy on your own. Then he can attack you and maybe hurt you a lot more this time, where I can see the woman I love—” He spoke louder. “Love—did you hear that part clearly—hurt so badly I’ll probably go into a murderous rage. Do I trust you? Yes. Do I trust you not to leave? I’m a little hesitant.”
She rested her head against his shoulder again, resuming the strokes up and down his chest. What the hell? She was going to ignore his outburst, because that’s exactly what it was. An outburst. She brought those out of him so easily.
“I deserved that.” She sighed. “You scared me.”
“I would never hurt you.”
She grabbed his shirt into a fistful. “You know I’m not talking physically. You make me feel things I’ve never felt. It scares the hell out of me, Sauer.”
“Me, too.” He grabbed her hand once again. “I yelled again. My bad.”
She chuckled. “You’re going to apologize in as many ways as you can without saying those other words, aren’t you?”
“Do you forgive me?”
“No.”
His heart started to beat a little faster. No doubt, she could feel it.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing to forgive. I deserved that. I need to earn that part of your trust back. I just don’t know how.”
“Stay.” Forever.
Her hand swooped down his chest to the edge of his shirt, then back up. Delicious trembles touched him everywhere. Her soft hand anywhere on him made him lose his mind instantly.
“Well, it is customary for a girlfriend to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house.”
He couldn’t help the smile that touched his face. “It is.”
“Is it time for make-up sex yet?”
“I am curious to see what it’s like.”
They laughed together. Dee sat up and quickly removed his shirt. “Ready when you are.”
He stood up and scooped her into his arms. “I’ve always wanted to carry a woman like this. I like the feeling.”
She tucked her head under his chin as he made his way to the bedroom. “By all means, do it whenever the urge strikes you.” She sighed softly. “The words are stuck.” Her voice lowered even more. “I wanna say them.”
He paused at the foot of the bed, his heart pounding like mad once
again. She just admitted in her own way she loved him. Oddly, it was enough. That’s all he needed to hear.
“Let me show you how much I love hearing that.”
Chapter 12
Dee arched a brow as her mouth slowly opened in shock. “You want me to do what? Are you nuts, Rina?”
“Dancing lessons will be fun. Ben’s so sweet. When I told him I would love to go dancing, the frightened way he looked at me told me right away he doesn’t know how to dance. But he smiled and said okay.” Rina moved closer to her desk. “It’ll be fun. Zoe and Zeke are going to take the classes, too.” She clapped her hands so giddy like. “There’s this event in two months…the King and Queen’s Ball. Doesn’t that sound like so much fun? The dance class is four weeks long. We’ll have plenty of time to learn the dances we need to for that. We’ll have to skip opening day, but we can go to a Twins game this summer.”
Dee didn’t want to hurt Rina’s feelings. Of all people she hated to make feel bad, it was Rina. The way her face fell into sadness, her little lip pouting, the pain in her eyes. Rina was so sensitive, and one of the sweetest people she knew. It hurt to hurt her.
But dance classes? Was she nuts? Clearly certifiable. When she danced, it wasn’t appropriate for something like a King and Queen’s Ball, that’s for sure. More like, indecent. She’d rather go to a baseball game.
Didn’t Rina see how uneven it was again? Her and Ben. Zoe and Zeke. Dee and…uh, well, Sauer. Would he take dance classes with her?
No. She couldn’t ask him. Their relationship was tentative at best. He still had moments of shyness. Asking him to take dance classes with her would bring out his shyness tenfold. She wouldn’t embarrass him like that.
“Dee? Come on. It’ll be fun. Don’t look at me like that.”
Dee realized she still had the shock written on her face and relaxed somewhat. “I’m not really a King and Queen kinda girl. Sorry, Rina.” Adding a sweet smile, “And I hate being the fifth wheel. You guys have fun.”
Rina pursed her lips. A look that was uncommon for her, but lately, since her and Ben had gotten together, the aggressive Rina started to come out and play. “You’ll ask Sauer, of course.”
“You telling me or asking me?”
Rina propped a hand to her hip. She was definitely telling her.
“That doesn’t sound like a Sauer-like thing. I don’t want to embarrass him. You know he’s a shy guy.”
“Stop being afraid.”
Dee jerked back. “I’m not afraid.”
A brow arched. “Prove it?”
So unfair. Rina was playing dirty with her. What happened to her shy friend? This one scared her a little. Dee averted her eyes for a moment, then squared her shoulders. “Fine. Sign us up.”
A slow grin emerged. “Perfect. The first class is Wednesday. I’m so excited. I’m going to tell Zoe.”
Dee turned back to her computer as Rina walked away with a pep in her step. She always gave in so easily. She hated upsetting her. And Zoe. She quit her position at Young’s Accountants two months ago, wanting to stay at home with Zabrina. She agonized over the decision, but overall, so happy she left. It was times like this she missed her terribly. She enjoyed the little breaks the three of them had at work, gossiping, giggling, just acting like the best friends they were.
What was she getting herself into? Dance classes? Worst decision ever. Would Sauer say yes? Would she end up being the fifth wheel?
The weekend had gone by fast. Make-up sex was just as delicious as the first time they slept together. The entire weekend they barely made it out of bed. Exploring, devouring, and enjoying the time between the sheets. It wasn’t just sex. They talked, laughed, and had fun. She never let her guard down like that with a guy. With Sauer, it was easy to do.
She saw the hesitation in his eyes, the worry whenever he walked out of the room to dispose of the condom. Would she still be there in bed waiting for him? He still didn’t trust her not to leave.
She didn’t blame him. He shouldn’t trust her. Because every single time, the urge screamed at her to get up and run. Every little emotion he sucked out of her made her want to run. It was damn scary. She didn’t know if she’d survive it.
When would he leave her? That’s what scared her the most. It was always better to leave first. Not be dumped and let the guy break her heart.
He’d eventually get sick of her. Annoyed. Frustrated. Men always did. What made Sauer any different?
Everything. He was one of a kind. She had to start believing it. He’d never trust her until she believed in him wholeheartedly.
Although, she was proud of herself. She hated the look in his eyes when she ventured off to handle the case on her own. She hated the pain, the fear, the terror that slipped out. She put it there. To avoid seeing that, she would let him do his job. It was damn hard to do.
She felt antsy. All she wanted to do was call Stitch every five minutes to see if he found anything. Or talk to her annoying neighbor Mathias to see if he saw anything strange. She wanted to do it all.
But like the good girlfriend she was trying to be, and the promise she was trying to keep, she held the urge in. Because if she broke her promise to Sauer, he’d never trust her again. She wanted—needed—his trust.
I swear I’ll leave the case to you. I promise. Just tell me a little.
Surprisingly, he went over a few aspects of the case with her. Oh, she knew he left some things out, but for the first time, he didn’t ignore her. She loved him a little more for that.
So no. She wouldn’t break her promise. His trust.
♡
“She said yes.”
Zoe squealed in her ear. “I knew you’d convince her. She would’ve totally said no to me.”
“Yeah, but she wasn’t too happy about saying yes. She doesn’t think Sauer will want to do it. That it will be embarrassing and hard for him because he’s so shy.” Rina sighed. “I didn’t think about that. She might be right.”
“Nonsense. Zeke and Ben wanted our help to get these two together permanently. This will work. Dancing…dancing can be erotic. They’ll fall in love.”
“But Sauer is shy. He doesn’t like to be the center of attention. Maybe he won’t do it. Then Dee will feel horrible because he said no and it’ll be all our fault.”
“Rina, he won’t say no.” Zoe paused. “I don’t think so, anyway. He’s shy, yes, but I also think he’ll do anything for her. Look at Zeke.” Zoe laughed. “When I told him our plans, the look of terror on his face. Oh, it was priceless. Then I told him about the ball, and he nearly ran out of the room, shaking his head no. I reminded him it was his idea to get these two closer together.”
Rina chuckled. “Ben reacted the same way. He wasn’t fond of dance lessons, and even less so about the ball. Just watch, those two will be in competition, arguing who’s the better dancer. Get your dancing feet ready. They’re going to want to practice at home.”
A fit of giggles rang in her ear. “Oh, God, you’re so right. Well, I’m okay with that. Dancing will just lead to stuff that is too inappropriate to say in front of Brina.”
“Like she knows what that means.” Rina sighed wistfully, hoping to be pregnant soon. Although, after a lengthy discussion, mostly to soothe her nerves, they decided to keep it to themselves. It hadn’t been long since they started trying, only a few months, even before they were married. She still wasn’t pregnant yet, not as quickly as it happened for Zoe. She worried something was wrong. Ben insisted everything would work out. But it made her feel better to keep it to themselves for now. “I should get back to work. I’ll sign us all up. Classes start Wednesday. Should we wait for Dee to ask Sauer?”
Zoe didn’t have to think about it. “No. If anything, we’ll sic Zeke and Ben on him. He won’t say no.”
♡
“So, we hit a brick wall again. We can’t find the car. Nothing panned out when we talked to the shops around Stitch’s place to see if they saw anything useful. Did Stitch get back t
o you yet? Or is he calling Dee?”
Sauer looked away from his computer. “Dee said he’ll call me. We…uh…we talked a little about the case. I gave in. She promised to leave the detective work to me.” Sauer rolled his eyes. “Since I am the detective.”
“Think she’ll keep that promise?”
He didn’t like to think she’d break her promise, but it lingered in his mind. The nasty feeling that she just might. “Yeah.” He looked away, knowing it didn’t sound as confident as it should’ve.
Newman cleared his throat. “You got company, buddy. Lucky dog, you.”
Sauer smiled as Dee walked toward him with an equally happy smile. He stood up and almost pulled her into his arms for a kiss, sort of like Ben and Zeke did all the time when Rina or Zoe visited, but stopped himself. Did Dee like public displays like that? Would that embarrass her?
His worry went out the door when she slithered up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planted the sweetest kiss on his lips.
“Lunch?”
He could feel his face flaming with heat as he glanced at Newman, who waved a hand at him to go. He turned back to her. “Lunch sounds great.” His brows puckered. “How did you get here? You need to be careful.”
Her lips pressed into a thin line. “I can take care of myself.” Then just as quickly, she relaxed. “Rina and I drove together. She wanted to have lunch with Ben.”
Round and round they go. Always with her. Did she forget this guy tried to hurt her twice? Once in public, in broad daylight. He hated hearing, I can take care of myself. He wanted to take care of her. In every single way. Would she ever let him?
“Wipe that look off your face and stop ignoring me.”
“It’s called reflecting. Sometimes I have to think of what to say because you make me so…irritated.”
She smiled wide. It should’ve annoyed him she found that funny, but it did nothing but captivate him more and more toward her.
“Your cheeks are still red.”
Newman snickered, reminding Sauer they were arguing with an audience. “Come on. Let’s grab a sandwich down the street.”
One Taste of Crazy (A One Taste Novel Book 3) Page 13