The Nurse's Secret Son

by Amy Andrews

  She took a breath and slid the needle in. Mrs Schmidt didn’t even flinch and Sophie closed her eyes as she advanced the needle deeper, sensing the vein position as much as feeling it. She got a flashback and almost whooped as dark red blood filled the syringe.

  Mrs Schmidt remained docile throughout the procedure and Sophie felt admiration for Anna. After the months of abuse she’d had from her grandmother she could be forgiven for wanting docility. But she obviously loved the old lady a lot and preferred to see a happy balance rather than an extreme either way.

  Sophie shut the curtains behind her and placed the blood tubes and path form in the box that was regularly collected by a pathology courier. She spied Daniel coming in through the ambulance bay and her stomach flopped at the sight of his long-legged stride, reminding her of her one and only ride on a roller-coaster.

  Memories from the other night came flooding back, making it impossible to get off the ride. How he had felt inside her, how good his lips had felt on her breast, how erotic it felt to be pinned high against the glass by the force of his surging desire.

  He chose that moment to look up and fix her with a blue stare. She knew his thoughts were on that night, too. The look of pure sexual hunger transmitted in his stare had her stomach looping the loop. She felt her cheeks grow warm as his lustful gaze continued.

  ‘Sophie.’ He nodded, still staring as he drew the trolley to a halt beside her.

  ‘Daniel.’ She tried to steady her voice but even to her own ears she sounded like a swooning heroine from an old black-and-white movie.

  They stared at each other for a few more moments until Ben, the other paramedic, cleared his throat loudly. Daniel gave himself a mental shake. ‘Unknown female. Probably early twenties. Found OD’d in the valley. Probably heroin. Not a known junkie. No track marks. Given Narcan after some bag-masking failed to produce a response. She is rousable. Haven’t been able to identify her or elicit any info from her. I inserted an IV at the scene.’

  Sophie watched his lips move as he formed his words. She tried not to stare at them or think about the magic they had weaved.

  ‘Sophie?’ he prompted quietly.

  ‘Hmm? Oh, yes…right,’ she said, dragging her eyes away to look at the patient on the trolley. The woman was lying on her side and had on an oxygen mask. An oropharyngeal airway protruded from between her lips. A white cellular blanket covered her slight form.

  ‘Oh, my God. It’s Jenny.’ Sophie recognised her instantly as they pushed the trolley into a cubicle. ‘She was a patient here a few months ago. She’d been raped by two men. Jenny? Jenny, can you hear me?’ Sophie spoke loudly as she shook the girl’s shoulder firmly. ‘Jenny. Open your eyes and talk to me.’

  The patient roused at the insistent note in Sophie’s voice and coughed on the airway, which she promptly spat out as she pulled the mask away. She tried to sit up, obviously disorientated from the side effects of the drug.

  She was as tiny as Sophie remembered. Maybe more so, her arms looking almost skeletal. But she was a far cry from the woman who had presented to the department a few months ago. That Jenny’s face had been swollen and bloodied, her upper lip cut and a nasty bruise had blackened her right eye. Her blouse had been torn and there had been grazing to her hands and arms.

  ‘Where am I?’ she asked.

  ‘You’re at St Jude’s. It’s Sophie. I looked after you when you came in before. Do you remember?’

  ‘Oh, no, no, no,’ Jenny groaned, and threw herself back as tears rolled down her cheeks. ‘I don’t want to be here. I just want to die. Just leave me to die.’ Sobs choked from her throat as she curled herself into a ball.

  Daniel lingered and watched Sophie for a few minutes as she worked. She leaned forward and spoke softly to her distraught patient. She held Jenny’s hand and stroked it and was quick with the vomit bowl as Jenny started to retch.

  She was professional and efficient and in control. Very different from the woman he had held the other night. Her blind need had brought her to a state of begging and he hardened, just thinking about how she had pleaded with him. Time to go!

  A couple of hours later, after Jenny had had a chance to sleep and recoup, Sophie was able to talk to her. She brought her some juice to drink and some sandwiches.

  ‘What happened today, Jenny?’

  ‘I just couldn’t stand it any longer.’ A tear trickled down her cheek. ‘I’ve just felt so dirty, so violated. The police haven’t caught them yet and I see their faces in every man who passes. I’m so scared all the time.’

  ‘What did you take?’

  ‘I went to the valley because I’d heard you could get heroin there. I didn’t want to just take a whole bunch of pills. I wanted to do it properly. I bought some off a dealer and he showed me how to inject it. I went back to the alley where…where…’ She stopped and struggled to pull herself together.

  ‘It just seemed fitting, you know? To die there. In that alley where they raped me. It seemed like the perfect place to end it all. I can’t believe someone found me.’

  Sophie put her arm around Jenny as she sobbed anew, and stayed until she had calmed down.

  ‘Have you been going to your counselling sessions?’

  Jenny shook her head. ‘I can’t talk about it with a complete stranger. How could they possibly know how I feel?’

  ‘Remember how I told you the rape crisis counsellors are all women who have been raped? They have professional counselling qualifications and they specialise in rape recovery.’

  ‘Really? I don’t remember that,’ said Jenny. Her voice wobbled as she dried her tears.

  That was hardly surprising. It was hard to take everything in after such a vile act had been perpetrated against you. ‘Really. And you know what? Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t know than those close to you. Particularly if they’ve been through the same thing as you.’

  Sophie rang the crisis centre at Jenny’s request. A counsellor arrived promptly and Sophie left them to it. She hoped desperately that Jenny had taken a big step towards recovery tonight.

  Sometimes people had to hit rock bottom before they could climb back up again. Lying in an alley with a needle sticking out of your arm had hopefully been Jenny’s.

  With Jenny’s issues as resolved as she could make them this shift, Sophie’s thoughts returned to Daniel. The heat that had flared between them had taken her by surprise. She had understood her reaction but interestingly it definitely hadn’t been one-sided. Maybe he wasn’t as indifferent to her as he tried to make out.

  A little while later, Sophie stood at the triage desk, chatting with Richard and Ross, the after-hours nurse manager. He had his pencil out and was tapping it against his teeth. Todd was at the other end of the desk, inputting data on the computer. The waiting room had all but emptied and in thirty minutes their shift would be over.

  What happened next occurred so quickly that Sophie didn’t have time to register it or even scream. Suddenly she felt the sharp edge of something cold and metallic pressed to her throat. A filthy arm grabbed her around the chest and dragged her backwards. Her nostrils filled with the fetid stench of unwashed skin.

  ‘Don’t move!’ A chilling snarl cut through the confusion in her mind. It had happened too swiftly to assimilate all the messages coming from her brain.

  ‘Nobody move,’ the man roared, swinging wildly from side to side, yanking Sophie with him. ‘Everyone stay calm. I’ll let her go as soon as I get morphine. But I swear I’ll cut her up right here in front of you all if you screw with me. Morphine! Now!’

  Sophie swallowed hard and tried not to panic. He was a junkie. She could feel his violent trembling and smell the cold sweat covering his bony body. He needed a fix. Obviously badly to pull this stunt. Her heart rate soared and she felt the knife point press a little closer to her jugular vein.

  ‘Listen, mate,’ said Richard, standing slowly and putting his hands out. ‘Don’t do anything crazy.’

  ‘That’s
right,’ said Todd, clearing his throat. ‘Just take it easy.’

  ‘Morphine,’ the man roared again.

  ‘It’s not as easy as all that. There are procedures for dangerous drugs. Counts,’ Ross hedged.

  Sophie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She and Ross had never seen eye to eye. He typified a management stereotype that she’d never had much time for, but even so she would have expected his support in this instance.

  Surely he was joking! OK, it was Ross’s job to manage and this incident would swamp him in paperwork, but surely he could see through the bureaucratic haze long enough to know that the man with the knife was serious.

  ‘Just get the drugs, Ross,’ she hissed.

  ‘You’d better listen to her, mister,’ the junkie advised. ‘All of it, everything in the cupboard.’

  Sophie watched as Richard handed the drug-cupboard keys to Ross. Richard’s eyes communicated his worry to her. He looked down quickly and pointedly and then looked back at her.

  Sophie was confused at first and then remembered the panic button that had been installed beneath the triage desk last year. She shook her head imperceptibly at Richard. She was fairly certain that the arrival of several security guards would only worsen the situation.

  She shut her eyes and thought, Please, don’t let me die tonight. Max needed her. She thought about never seeing him again and couldn’t breathe. He’d be well looked after, she knew that, and she guessed that John would tell Daniel the truth and Max would finally be with his father. But it wouldn’t be fair to deprive a little boy of his mother, too.

  Her life flashed before her and she thought about all the other people she would miss. John and Michael’s parents and Sally and Charlie. And Daniel. What if she never saw Daniel again? What if she never got the chance to tell him she loved him?

  ‘Sophie!’

  Daniel’s voice. Had her fear and panic managed to conjure him up? Was he real? She opened her eyes and there he was.

  ‘Stop right there, mate.’ The guy sounded panicky at Daniel’s arrival. ‘I’ll kill her. I swear it. Where’s my drugs?’ he roared in Sophie’s ear, and she shut her eyes again.

  Daniel stood beside the trolley he’d been bringing in, immobilised with fear. Sophie. His Sophie being pawed by a man with a dirty, rusty kitchen knife held to her throat. She looked frightened and pale and Daniel felt fear and then rage build inside him.

  ‘What’s taking him so long?’ Sophie’s attacker yelled.

  Daniel spied an insipid-looking man standing at the end of the corridor, drugs in hand, talking to four security guards. For heaven’s sake! Who had rung them?

  Four years in New York had given Daniel lots of experience with drug addicts and how desperate they could be. Any signs of force could panic them and that made them unpredictable.

  The man was obviously close to the edge. His eyes were darting around the room and there was sweat running down his pale, sickly face. Daniel felt ill. The fear on the beautiful face of the woman he loved twisted in his gut.

  And there it was. A true light-bulb moment. The woman he loved. It was as if there had been an invisible curtain between them all this time and it had taken one drug-crazed lunatic to tear it down and reveal the truth. He loved her. It was so simple and so powerful all at the same time.

  ‘Stay back,’ Daniel commanded the security guards in a loud voice. ‘He’s got a knife and he’ll use it.’

  The junkie swung around nervously, sensing he was about to lose control of the situation. ‘Listen to him,’ he shouted. ‘I’ll cut her. I swear it!’

  ‘You. Bring the drugs—now!’ Daniel’s demand brooked no argument.

  Sophie held her breath and felt tears threaten. She would not cry. Tears weren’t going to help now. She needed to think clearly. Thank God Daniel had arrived. He was taking charge of the situation and she began to feel like it might just turn out OK. If only Ross complied.

  Daniel had had enough. If this guy walked any slower down the corridor he’d arrive some time tomorrow. He strode off and seized the drugs from him, shooting Ross a look of pure contempt. As far as human beings went, Daniel thought, he was a waste of good oxygen.

  He turned around and in five large strides was back at the triage desk, holding the boxes of morphine out to Sophie’s captor.

  ‘Let her go,’ he demanded, his heart banging loudly.

  ‘Give me the drugs first. Put them in the bag,’ he said, dropping a filthy backpack off his shoulder to the floor and kicking it towards Daniel.

  Daniel stuffed the boxes inside.

  ‘Kick it back.’

  Daniel did as he was told and the junkie slowly reached down and gathered it up.

  ‘Let her go,’ Daniel demanded again.

  The man smiled triumphantly and licked his lips, showing a bunch of yellowed rotting teeth. He pushed Sophie away with a force that belied his state of ill health and ran towards the door, but before he could even make good his escape the security guards had tackled him to the ground.

  Sophie crashed into Daniel’s body and he pulled her to him, crushing her against him as overwhelming relief swept through her body and she sobbed from the shock of her close brush with death.

  ‘Are you OK?’ he asked, pulling her head off his chest, his hands on either side of her face, his fingers buried in her hair.

  ‘I thought I was never going to see Max again,’ she cried, her face crumpling, and he pulled her head into his shoulder.

  ‘I know,’ he soothed, stroking her hair. ‘I know.’

  Sophie felt her fears recede as she wept and Daniel held her. Once again he had saved the day. Just as he had with Charlie and with Max. The horrifying events faded from her mind as she absorbed his calm strength and the sheer enormity of her love blossomed.

  He held her while she cried and he kissed her hair, his own heart hammering. She was safe. She was safe. And he loved her. Not that it helped anything. In fact, it complicated everything, but it could not be ignored.

  She moved in his arms and he felt her snuggle closer. How had he let this happen? And what was he going to do? It was an impossible situation. As far as his head was concerned, she was still his brother’s wife.

  And, heaven help him, he loved her.

  CHAPTER TEN

  MAX launched himself at his mother’s sleeping form. ‘Mummy, Mummy, Mummy,’ he said, bouncing up and down beside her. ‘Wake up. It’s my birthday.’

  Sophie opened her eyes slowly, the bright sunlight causing her to squint. ‘Morning, baby,’ she said, and accepted his sloppy kiss that missed her cheek and landed on her eye.

  ‘You should see all my presents. It’s so exciting, Mummy, come and see,’ he said, dragging her up by her hand.

  ‘All right, all right.’ She laughed. ‘Let me put my gown on. Anyone else up yet?’

  ‘No. Just us,’ he said.

  ‘Lucky us.’ She smiled. Max’s blue eyes twinkled his excitement and she could feel herself respond to his childish wonder.

  She flung on the red gown and tied the belt at her waist. She almost hadn’t brought it but had changed her mind at the last minute. If Daniel wanted to be stoic then so be it, but she was damned if she’d make it easy for him.

  ‘Better go and wake everyone up, sweetie,’ she said and laughed as Max charged out of the room, yelling for everyone to get up because he wanted to open his presents.

  Sophie shook her head. It was hard to believe it had only been two days ago that a maniac had held a knife to her throat. Life had quickly gone on as if nothing had happened, and she’d actually recovered quite quickly.

  On this special day Sophie spared a thought for the poor soul who had held her for ransom. She had seen enough drug addicts come through St Jude’s doors to know they had an illness. Once the immediate danger to her life had dissipated she had been able to look at the incident quite objectively.

  The man had been caught within a few minutes. He hadn’t stood a chance with four burly, fit security gu
ards chasing him. Sophie marvelled at how he’d ever imagined he was going to pull it off.

  But, she supposed, that was the tragedy of drugs. People did things they would never have done before they had got hooked, and how they scored their next hit didn’t matter. As long as they scored.

  Sophie actually felt sorry for the man in a lot of ways. What had happened in his life that had pushed him to addiction? Had he been an intelligent kid with promise or had he not stood much of a chance in life to begin with? What catalyst had driven him to the state of desperation he’d been in that night?

  She shook her head—she would never know. She needed to stick to problems she could solve. Which brought her to Daniel. He was a different kind of addict. Addicted to his sense of obligation towards his brother born from his overriding guilt. She didn’t know what to do about it either.

  Sophie wandered into the lounge room where everyone was gathering around the central coffee-table laden with multicoloured gifts. Max was bouncing up and down on his haunches, impatient for the adults to join him. Sophie sat cross-legged on the floor and Max quickly jumped into her lap.

  She could feel his little body trembling in anticipation and felt a pang of jealousy. Oh, to be a child and not have the worries of the world on your shoulders. As her mind buzzed with all her adult problems Max’s simple life seemed very appealing.

  Daniel sat on the lounge chair behind her. She didn’t have to turn to confirm it, she could sense it. She didn’t have to look either to know he would be wearing his boxer shorts and black snug-fitting T-shirt. And she didn’t need eyes in the back of her head to feel his gaze boring straight through her.

  Edward dished out the presents one at a time, as he did every year. The family watched as Max ripped the paper off each one, tearing through the pile of presents like a mini-tornado. He was disgustingly spoilt, as he was every year, but Sophie had given up protesting. He was a much-loved only grandchild, the littlest Monday, and though the family was generous they also expected him to be well mannered, polite and good.