“I could ask the same of you, but I really don’t want to know.” Her face burned as she tried to stifle laughter.
He pulled her mother’s robe a little closer to his body, trying to conceal the chest hair. “Could you tell me where to find the water glasses?”
“Right here.” She pulled two from the cupboard and handed them over. He mumbled thanks while avoiding all eye contact. She watched him fill both glasses with water and scurry away. He turned to face her before leaving the kitchen. His mouth opened and then quickly shut. He bolted toward Margaret’s bedroom, slamming the door behind him. She strained to hear their soft voices, and her mother let out an embarrassed shriek. Adrian couldn’t hold back any longer, giggling as she refilled her glass.
This was definitely a first. She hadn’t seen her mother with anyone other than her father and didn’t think she’d ever be in that situation. She couldn’t help feeling like a parental figure, busting her mother after her afternoon delight. She realized how much Margaret had surprised her in the time she’d been there, and how much she still had to discover about her while she could.
19
That was hot. Christian had to catch his breath. If anyone told him he would christen his office with the girl he’d pined after for years in high school, he would have laughed in their face. He would have looked around for cameras because he was being pranked. But that definitely wasn’t a dream. In fact, it was so much better than he’d ever imagined. They’d fit together perfectly, like she was the missing piece all along. He wanted to put them together over and over again.
He took a deep breath, still descending the mountain of lust he’d climbed with Adrian. He had to admit, that wasn’t what he was accustomed to when a girl said she wanted to take things slow. Was what just happened between them the right move? Was he being tested, and if so, did he fail by not showing restraint? The way she’d looked in her dress and the way she’d kissed him—there was no way he could have shown any even if he’d tried.
But what now?
He shouldn’t overthink it. Clearly, she wanted him just as badly. It had been so long since he’d felt that way about anyone, and he wasn’t about to let her go. Even if they moved at a slower pace from then on, he knew with total certainty she was worth it.
With his heart beat finally slowing to normal, he put the contents of his desk back together. It might be better to let her take the lead and set the pace. She’d taken charge that afternoon and it had turned out well for both of them, so she wouldn’t steer them wrong. Whatever she was comfortable with worked for him.
Once everything was in place, he had just enough time to check his email and review his notes before his next meeting. He sorted through the typical junk and deleted most of it, but a message from a name he hadn’t seen in a while popped up on his screen. One he never thought he’d see again.
What does she want?
He considered moving it to junk as well, because no good could come from opening that message. But of course, curiosity got the best of him, and his hand betrayed him, double-clicking to open it, revealing its contents.
From: Sarah Nelson
Subject: (blank)
I need to talk to you. Can we meet?
Many expletives came to mind, but what didn’t was any logical explanation as to why she chose to reach out. Her timing was terrible or impeccable, depending on the point of view. Did she have some kind of ex-girlfriend alarm that went off, saying, “Hey, your ex is happy. You should go ruin it now”?
Old wounds threatened to burst open as he read her words over again. What could she possibly have to say to him after all the time they’d been apart? Maybe he was jumping to conclusions. Maybe she needed legal advice or something else unrelated to their relationship. But still, whatever her reason was, it couldn’t be good.
“Christian, your three o’clock is here,” Deidre said through the intercom function of his phone.
“Okay, please send them in.”
Saved by the bell. He’d have to wait until later to decide how to handle Sarah.
Adrian had a looming sense of dread as she made breakfast. After sleeping on what she’d done the day before with Christian, she’d decided it was a mistake. A very fun mistake, but a mistake, nonetheless. Had she ruined what they had started to build by rushing into sex? He hadn’t called her when she thought he might, which only proved her right. So, what now?
She liked him a lot and really enjoyed the time they’d spent together. But was she ready to jump into another relationship? It didn’t stop her from acting on physical impulses, which only left her with a pit of regret in her stomach the morning after. But in reality, she’d just ended a marriage, and her heart needed time to heal before beating for another man.
She wanted to talk to Laura but wasn’t sure if telling her what happened was wise. She already knew Laura would say, “There are no accidents.” If she was right, it would work out in the end. But how did Adrian want things to work out?
She heard her mother stirring and started preparing oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar. Margaret shuffled into the kitchen, and Adrian grabbed a mug from the cabinet and filled it with coffee, placing it in front of her as she sat at the table. Margaret acknowledged her with a nod of appreciation, and Adrian stirred the oats on the stovetop.
Her mother was quiet. Harold left sometime the night before, and Adrian had avoided any common areas of the house in fear of seeing him in the pink robe again or hearing sounds she couldn’t un-hear. She was still surprised at her mother’s behavior. She’d never known Margaret to be with any man except George, so that alone was a shock. But was her mother acting responsible given her health?
She finished with the oats and placed them on the table, sitting in her usual spot. Margaret mumbled a simple thanks, avoiding eye contact with her daughter. Adrian sipped her coffee, watching the morning dew begin to burn off in the light of day. She looked at her mother out of the corner of her eye. Who would be the first to speak? Someone needed to address the elephant in the room.
“You really don’t have anything to say?”
“About what?” Margaret mumbled.
“My run-in with Harold in the kitchen yesterday.”
“What about it?”
“Is that really something you should be doing in your…condition?”
Margaret put down her spoon, looking pointedly at her daughter. “What condition?”
Adrian paused, calculating a response under her mother’s intense glare. “I think, given your health, your actions yesterday were irresponsible.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake. Is this about your father?”
“What—no, this is about you. What if you died or couldn’t catch your breath or—”
“Then I’d have gone out with a smile on my face.”
“Ma, really. I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
“What? I’m sorry if my being a woman is a shock to you, Adrian, but I don’t see why you’re upset.”
“Because you could have stopped breathing.”
“At some point, I will. How I choose to spend the time I have left and with whom is my decision.”
“But shouldn’t you do whatever you can to prolong your life?”
“So, I should be afraid to live because I’m dying? What’s the point of that?”
Margaret’s words hit Adrian hard. She wasn’t sure how to respond or how to express to Margaret she wasn’t ready for her to go yet. She fought back tears.
Margaret reached across the table, setting her hand on top of Adrian’s. “It’s not news to anyone that I’m dying. I don’t have any control over when or how it will happen, but the one thing I do have control over is how I spend the rest of the time I have. And while that clock is ticking, I’m going to live how I see fit. Got it?”
Adrian nodded. “Okay.”
“Good.” Margaret squeezed her hand before letting it go to take a sip of coffee. “Besides, your judgment isn’t good for my…condition.”
>
Adrian rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
Margaret smirked. “Oh, come on. Lighten up.”
Adrian’s tough exterior started to crack. She began to smile, then stopped. “You done?” She motioned to her mother’s half-eaten oatmeal, and Margaret nodded. Adrian cleared the table and did the dishes.
“How was your meeting yesterday?” Margaret asked.
Adrian turned off the faucet, feeling her ears turn red. She knew mothers always had a certain knowing about them, but there was no way she could have known what happened. “Meeting?”
“With your new lawyer?”
“Oh, that meeting.” She recounted the detail of the lis pendens and the probability of exhuming Brad’s body for paternity when the time came.
“Wow, that’s…intense.”
Adrian finished the dishes and topped off her mug. “Would you like more coffee?” she offered.
Margaret shook her head. “Did you have another meeting yesterday?”
“No, why?”
“Because you asked which meeting I was talking about.”
Adrian shrugged. “Need more coffee, I suppose.”
Margaret wasn’t buying it. “Doesn’t Christian work with him?”
Adrian blushed. “Yeah, so?”
“Huh. I thought so.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Adrian felt her face turn a brighter shade of red as she mumbled something about going to take a shower. She needed to get out of there before her face gave away any more detail.
Adrian awoke with a burst of creative energy that couldn’t be contained. She made coffee to-go, her creative forces alive and firing on all cylinders. She’d had the idea for a painting for a while, and it felt like the right time to bring it to life. Knowing her mother’s light would soon burn out in the world, it only made sense to commemorate her existence. The idea of painting Margaret’s crossing over to the next phase in her journey, to a place where only love exists, warmed Adrian’s heart. She hoped her mother would appreciate it too.
While things were still a little strained, they were chiseling away at the walls between them. Adrian had begun to see her mother as a woman first and a mother second, which helped bring forth new levels of understanding. While she didn’t agree with her mother’s denial of treatment or fight, Adrian had to find a way to accept her decisions. They’d spent years with tension between them, and it never changed anything. The last thing she wanted to do was fight during whatever time they had left.
She quickly set up her board, paints, and pencil, ready to sketch her idea to life. She scribbled with intensity, capturing every detail. She paused a few times, assessing the accuracy of her sketch against the image in her mind’s eye.
Once content, she prepped her paints, mixing a couple of them together to get the right shades. Once ready, she painted with desperation and fervor. As her hand glided across the canvas, it felt like it was being guided by an outside force. Maybe her dad was there, helping her make it perfect. She’d likely finish the painting just in time for group. Would Christian be there?
A week had passed since their merger in his office, and he hadn’t called. Given the intensity between them, the static of dead air surprised her. Maybe he was turned off by her aggression, or maybe he was trapped under his desk, physically unable to reach his phone to dial for help. She shook her head at the irrational thought. Maybe he wasn’t who she thought he was. Besides, how much did she know about him? And Brad had certainly been an example of people not always being who they seemed to be.
Although Christian had proved himself to be different. Christian was other-worldly hot and always said the right things. Was the chemical reaction between them only in Adrian’s head? Maybe she’d gone crazy since moving back home. Could it be that she’d fabricated the whole experience, desperate for a distraction from her mother? Oh, who was she kidding? She knew what they’d experienced was real. Very real.
But why hadn’t he called?
She considered being the bigger person and calling him herself. After all, she’d made the bold move in his office, so why did picking up the phone seem colossal? It was the twenty-first century, after all. She’d always pursued whatever she wanted, letting nothing stand in her way. But for some reason, this felt different. At the risk of seeming old-fashioned, Adrian wanted to be pursued. And dammit, Christian should want to pursue her.
Maybe the lack of communication was the Universe’s way of saying it wasn’t the right time, or the right guy, to trust with her heart. The last time she gave her heart to someone, he cheated. Besides, she still had big messes to clean up from her marriage. Was it really smart to get involved with someone new?
She put her brush down, feeling confusion and frustration begin to infiltrate the painting. Even with the brevity of their relationship (if it could be called that), she felt disappointed things didn’t work out the way she’d envisioned with Christian. On the bright side, she’d probably see him at group. Then she’d get answers.
Adrian arrived at group hoping to see Christian, but he was not there. She knew he tended to cut it close, barely making it every time the group met, so there was still time for him to show up.
She grabbed a Styrofoam cup and filled it with water before making her way over to Karen. “So, you survived the fall. How was it?”
“Oh, it was—what a life changing experience,” Karen mused. “Although I don’t see how you said it was calm up there. I was scared to death the whole time.” She laughed nervously.
Adrian smiled. “That’s normal. The real question is, would you do it again?”
Karen pondered. “You know, it might sound crazy, but yeah, I think I would.”
“Good for you. Actually, what do you think about us planning a group trip? We could all go together.”
“Absolutely not,” Susan said, joining them. “There’s no way you’re getting me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.”
“Oh, come on. It could be the ultimate trust exercise.” Adrian grinned.
“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Henry teased, pulling up a chair.
“If that’s adventurous, I’m at peace with being lame,” Susan said.
Adrian laughed, and Karen had everyone find their seats, signifying it was time to do some work. “Today, I thought we might spend some time talking about practicing the present,” Karen said. “We all have memories of loved ones that draw us to the past, but it’s important to find peace, move forward with our lives, and make the most of what we still have while we still have it. At first, it might feel like we’re betraying our loved ones by not continuously honoring their memory, but what about practicing self-care and honoring ourselves? It’s important to stay present, since we all know firsthand how fragile life is and that it can be gone in an instant. Does anyone have a particular way they practice staying present despite the past pulling you back?”
Adrian looked around, waiting for someone to speak. She had to admit she was having a hard time practicing the present, wondering where Christian was. “Actually,” she surprised herself as she spoke. “I’m struggling with this, to be honest. I’m sure you all remember from my previous outburst that my husband died in a car accident, almost taking me with him. And what’s strange is that, through his death, I learned my mother is dying from stage four lung cancer, complicated by COPD.”
“Wow, I’m so sorry,” Karen said, reaching over to place her hand on Adrian’s. Susan nodded her head in agreement.
Adrian nodded her acknowledgement before continuing. “When Brad died, I moved back here to take care of my mother, and to say our relationship has been strained is a severe understatement. But she’s forgoing treatment for her condition, and I’m having a hard time understanding why she’s giving up.”
“You have no choice but to stay present,” Susan said. “When Paul got pancreatic cancer, he also decided to forgo treatment. I didn’t understand why, but he told me it wasn’t worth it to spend his last da
ys sick from chemo, knowing he was going to die anyway. I didn’t agree, but I honored his wishes, and the last three months we had together were the sweetest we’d had in our thirty years of marriage. We lived and loved like every day was his last because it was entirely possible that it could have been.”
Karen handed her a box of tissues, and Susan rolled her eyes before taking one. “Of course, the new girl gets me to crack.” She dabbed her eyes and laughed.
“You’re a strong woman, Susan, and I admire your courage in letting your guard down with us,” Karen said.
“The same applies to you,” Susan said to Adrian. “Do whatever you can to be present with your mom and accept her wishes for her last days. You never know when it will actually be the last. You don’t want any regrets.”
Adrian considered the words, knowing Susan was right. She needed to accept that her mother had made her choice about how to spend her last days. Now Adrian had a choice on how to spend that time with her, and she knew she didn’t want to fight anymore. “Thank you,” she said to Susan. They smiled at one another.
“Well, I’ve been more present in my life and I’m happy to say I’ve lost five pounds,” Gina said. “I know it’s not much, but it’s the most progress I’ve made in the last year.”
“That’s wonderful, dear.” Henry reached over to give her a sideways hug.
“Excellent,” Karen said. “I wouldn’t mind losing a little weight myself. What’s your secret?” Karen didn’t need to lose anything but was doing what she did best—going out of her way to make someone feel accepted for exactly who and how they were.
“I don’t know, something just clicked in me that Trudy would want me to take care of myself. I’ve been walking every evening after dinner, and it’s helped me avoid eating dessert.”
“Ugh, I’m such a sucker for dessert,” Karen mused. “I can’t say no to anything sweet.”
“Dark chocolate,” Susan said. “The darker the better.”
Unfinished Business Page 14