by Cathy Zane
Maggie bounced into the room. “Hey, preggo!”
Sarah jumped. “Jeez, Mag. You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry. I’m just excited for the weekend!”
Sarah smiled. “I know. Friday afternoons always rev you up!”
“So true. Better than even a triple espresso! And I’m ready to party! How about you?”
“Ready as I can be. You’re getting the balloons, right?”
“I’m on it. Thirty helium balloons to the rescue.”
“Great. And quit calling me preggo.” Sarah said, her eyebrows drawing together. “Remember, Robert and Lizzy don’t know yet.”
“No worries. Your secret’s safe with me. Do you need some help out?”
“Sure.” Sarah handed her a box of student essays.
Maggie took the box. “You’ll have loads of time for these this weekend.”
Sarah smiled. “I know. Ever the optimist, right? But they need to get done. So, I imagine it will be a late Sunday night!”
“Every day I count my blessings I’m not an English teacher. Thank God for Scantron! Test scores in the blink of an eye.”
“Oh, but you don’t know what you are missing.”
“Oh, I think I do! Those once-a-semester term papers are more than enough reading for me!” Maggie said. She cocked her head. “By the way, when are you going to tell Robert?”
“I’m not sure,” Sarah said, fighting back a wave of irritation. Not Maggie too. She’d had enough of this with Kate. Why couldn’t they both just leave her alone? “I’ve been so busy with the party that I haven’t been able to think about it much.”
Maggie frowned and looked at Sarah as she continued to gather up her things to leave. Knowing how her friend obsessed about things, she found it very hard to believe that she wouldn’t have been thinking about this, regardless of how busy she’d been. That just sounded like a lame excuse. Something definitely felt off. Should she say something? She wanted to be supportive, but she didn’t want to upset Sarah. And it was often a fine line with her. She had learned to read her fairly well, but at times she still got it wrong. She decided to risk it this time.
“Are you worried?” she asked cautiously.
“Nah,” Sarah said. “I think I overreacted before. He’ll be fine with it—excited, even.” She grabbed her bag and headed for the door. “Let’s get out of here. I have a list a mile long of things I need to get done!”
Maggie opened her mouth to press Sarah more as she followed her out of the room—and then stopped herself. Robert was Sarah’s husband. If she thought he’d be fine with the news, worrying about it was silly. Besides, as down on Robert as Kate was, as far as Maggie could tell, he was basically a dream come true. Still, she made a mental note to watch him more closely at the party.
She fell into stride with Sarah. “So, what’s on this long list of yours? I thought you had everything handled.”
“Just the last-minute stuff. I’m going to get some groceries before I pick up Lizzy and the cake at Kate’s, and then I’m heading home to stuff Easter eggs, put up decorations, and prep food.”
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”
“No. I’ll be fine and Robert will be home tonight, so he can help. You getting the balloons is a huge help, believe me. That will make my day so much easier tomorrow.”
“Happy to do it,” Maggie said as they reached Sarah’s car.
Sarah popped the trunk and Maggie put her box of student papers inside.
“See you tomorrow,” Sarah said.
Maggie gave her a hug good-bye and started walking backwards toward her car. “Yes, you will. I’ll be there! With bells on!”
“I sure hope not,” Sarah said.
Maggie’s smile drooped a little. What did that mean?
“On the bell part,” Sarah clarified.
Maggie perked back up. “Well, now that you mention it . . .” She turned toward her car and waved over her shoulder. “See you tomorrow!”
Oh my God, Sarah. What an idiot! When will you learn to keep your mouth shut? Why do you give her ideas like that? And with Robert and his mother coming.
Sarah felt panicked. She regretted telling Maggie about the pregnancy. She was her best friend and she adored her, but she was a bit of a loose cannon. Sarah couldn’t ever be sure what she might say or do, which was why she had always kept her away from Robert. Should she call her to make sure she didn’t do anything weird? What could she say? Maggie hated snobs with a passion. If Sarah said anything, it might fuel the fire even more. She’d have to take her chances and just hope Maggie behaved.
Sarah’s inner dialogue continued and didn’t stop until she pulled into Kate’s driveway. Lizzy and Emma were drawing with chalk on the sidewalk out front, and they jumped up when they saw Sarah’s car.
Lizzy ran to the car. “Mommy, Mommy!” She said breathlessly. “Come see my cake! Come see my bunny cake!”
Lizzy’s excitement was contagious, and Sarah chatted happily with her as they drove home from Kate’s, the bunny cake safely wedged between grocery bags in the trunk so it wouldn’t slide around.
“Is Daddy home yet?” Lizzy asked when they turned onto their street.
Sarah smiled. Thinking about Robert coming home and seeing their daughter’s excitement to see him made her happy. Everything was right with the world. She was going to enjoy the moment and not worry about anything else.
“Not yet,” she said, glancing over her shoulder at Lizzy. “But he should be home in about an hour. I think he is going to love your cake!”
“Me too!”
Sarah pushed the garage door opener as she pulled into the driveway, but nothing happened. She tried again with no luck and made a mental note to change the battery. She popped the trunk, then reached back and handed Lizzy her keys before exiting the car.
“You go open the door for me and pick up the mail and I will bring in the cake.”
“Okay.” Lizzy quickly unbuckled herself, jumped down out of the car, and ran for the front door.
Sarah grabbed the bags of groceries and carried them in through the front door. Lizzy was on her knees, gathering the mail up off the hardwood foyer floor. Sarah left the groceries on the kitchen counter and hurried back to the car. She carefully lifted the cake out of the trunk and used her elbow to close the lid. Be careful, she coached herself. No klutziness allowed today. Go slow. The last thing you need is to mess this up. She carefully carried the cake through the door that Lizzy was holding open for her.
“Thank you, ma’am,” she said to Lizzy.
“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Lizzy said, following her cue.
Sarah carefully walked into the kitchen and gently lowered the cake onto the counter. Lizzy followed her in, mail in hand.
“Wasn’t it nice of Kate to make this for you?”
Lizzy nodded. “Here, Mommy,” she said, holding up a mass of envelopes.
“Thanks, sweetie. Now hop in the bathtub and when you’re done we’ll fill up these eggs.” Sarah pulled three bags of multicolored plastic Easter eggs out of a bag and laid them on the kitchen table.
“Okay!” Lizzy skipped out of the room.
Sarah counted her blessings that Lizzy was in a good mood today. She couldn’t deal with one of her meltdowns with so much still to do. And it would make things a lot easier with Robert. She needed his help to put up the decorations outside, a task he hated. If Lizzy was being whiny or bratty on top of it, she knew Robert would retreat to the den or his office and leave her to deal with it all on her own. And he would make Lizzy’s mood her fault. As he’d pointed out many times before, Lizzy’s behavior was a reflection of her failings as a mother. Never mind that she has an absent father, Sarah thought, and a brief flicker of hurt and anger rose up. She quickly pushed it away. Robert wasn’t absent today. He would be here, he would help, and they would have fun as a family. She reminded herself of their weekend together three weeks ago. It would be like that again.
She
quickly flipped through the mail and dropped it on the counter, her mind going a mile a minute. Filling the eggs would occupy Lizzy long enough so she could start to prep some of the food. She’d work on the deviled eggs first, then the crudité and dips. She’d left her grocery list on the kitchen counter that morning; she hoped she hadn’t forgotten something important. It was pretty lame to forget your grocery list. Not thinking. As usual.
She got an oversized bowl out of the cupboard, filled it with the plastic eggs, and placed it in the center of the kitchen table. She rummaged in one of the grocery bags and came up with several bags of jelly beans and foiled chocolate Easter eggs, which she carefully arranged on either side of the bowl. Finally, she added a pile of Easter stickers and stepped back to look at the display. Perfect! She couldn’t wait to see the expression on Lizzy’s face. She’d love it!
She emptied the vegetables out of the last grocery bag and started to open the refrigerator when she noticed the red blinking message light on the phone. She took the phone out of its cradle and hit the voicemail button. The automated voice announced that there were two new messages. Robert’s voice was the first to come through.
“Hey Sarah. It’s me. I can’t make it back this weekend. Tell Lizzy I’m sorry to miss her party. I’ll call tomorrow night so she can tell me all about it. I’ll give my mom and sister a call too. I’m sure they can come early and help if you need it. Big hugs to both of you.”
“No . . .” Sarah said aloud before the next message started.
“Hi Sarah. It’s Carol. I just got a call from Robert. I don’t know how you put up with him sometimes. He’s so much like Dad, a complete workaholic! Anyway, I talked to Mom and we’d both be happy to come early to help. Just give me a call and let me know what time.”
Sarah let her hand and the phone drop onto the counter and stood stunned for a moment. This couldn’t be happening. He needed to be here. He couldn’t do this to Lizzy. She took a deep breath, fighting back the tears, then grabbed the phone and dialed.
Robert picked up on the second ring. “Hello.”
“How can you do this?” Sarah said. “Lizzy’s gonna be so upset. You can’t do this. You need to be here. Don’t you ever think about her—or me, for that matter?”
“Sarah, calm down . . .”
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” Sarah said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “This is terrible. I need you here. You’ve known about this party for weeks.”
“Sarah, I’m sorry, but it can’t be helped. We’re behind on this installation and under the gun from the client. I have to be here.”
“Can’t someone else do it?”
“You know better than that. It’s my project. I can’t just leave it to someone else.”
“But what about Lizzy? What about your mother?” Sarah asked, her voice steadying slightly.
“I already talked to my mother. And Lizzy will be fine. She’ll have all her friends there. She won’t even know I’m missing.”
“That’s not true—”
“Sarah, stop. We’ll celebrate next weekend. It’ll be like a second birthday. She’ll love it. But right now, I’m late for an important dinner, so I need to go.”
Sarah felt like she was floating. This couldn’t be happening. She needed to do something. Make him understand. There had to be a way.
“Robert, please! You have to be here. You know how much it means to Lizzy. Can’t you get a flight in the morning and be here for a couple hours and then go back?”
“Sarah, that’s nuts. I’d lose a whole day’s work and I can’t afford to do that. You’re being unreasonable and dramatic. This is not a big deal. You need to take a few breaths and get a grip.”
Sarah felt something snap inside. The good Robert was gone and the jerk was back. “You are so fucking dismissive. Seriously. Do you really believe your own bullshit?”
“For Christ’s sake, Sarah. I don’t have time for this. I’ll call tomorrow. Good-bye.” He hung up before Sarah could respond.
Sarah stood at the counter, her body trembling. She held the receiver in front of her face and yelled, “Fuck you, asshole!” She couldn’t believe he was doing this. He knew how important this was to her and Lizzy. He knew how much planning and work she’d put into it. And to say his mother would help? What a joke that was. She would just point out all the things Sarah had done wrong and make her feel worse than she already did.
The thought of Cynthia’s inevitable criticism melted Sarah’s anger into tears. She dropped the phone and slumped over the counter, her chest heaving. She couldn’t handle Cynthia without Robert. And she needed his help with the outdoor decorations. She couldn’t do this alone; she’d never get everything done in time. Everything would be ruined. She felt so tired and overwhelmed. It felt hard to breathe.
Lizzy’s voice calling from down the hall startled her. She had momentarily forgotten all about her.
“Mommy, I can’t find my pajamas.”
Sarah stood up, wiped the tears from her face, and tried to take a deep breath. Her shoulders felt weak and she couldn’t inhale fully. She felt numb.
“They’re still in the dryer,” she called out weakly.
“What?” Lizzy shouted back.
Sarah tried again to inhale and called back more loudly, “Just a minute. I’ll get them.”
She started for the garage—and then she remembered Maggie’s offer to help. Since Robert wouldn’t be here, it would be fine to have her come over. She picked up the phone and dialed her number.
The phone rang several times with no answer. Sarah was about to hang up when Maggie picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey Mag, it’s me. You sound out of breath.”
“Yeah. I ran for the phone. I was just getting out of the shower and I thought it might be Ryan. We have a date tonight.”
“Oh,” Sarah said, surprised. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I know,” Maggie said. “I never really had a chance. You’ve been so busy with the party and the whole pregnancy thing.”
“I’m sorry . . .” You’re such a horrible friend. Not even thinking to ask Maggie about Ryan. No wonder you’re alone. That’s what you get for being so self-centered.
“No worries. I knew we’d catch up once things settled down a bit for you. Besides, you know I want to keep this thing low key for now. Until I know if it really is a thing.”
“I don’t know,” Sarah said. “It sure seems like a thing to me.”
“Maybe. But that’s not what you called to talk about. What’s up?”
Sarah racked her brain for something plausible to say. She couldn’t ask Maggie for help now. She had to think of some other reason for calling.
An idea popped into her head. “About the balloons. Could you also see if they have a nice ‘Happy Birthday’ Mylar? Something big and colorful?”
“Sure thing. Sounds like a great idea. I’ll actually call now so they can have it ready when I pick up the others. I’m gonna have fun getting all this into my car!”
“Great,” Sarah said, trying to be upbeat. “Thanks so much. And have a great time tonight. I can’t wait to hear more.”
“Oh, you will. Every gory detail! See ya tomorrow.”
“See ya.”
After hanging up the phone, Sarah sighed. She felt drained. Maybe she could try Kate. But she had helped so much already. Besides, she probably had plans. You shouldn’t bother her. Just get a grip. Quit being such a loser and pull it together.
The phone rang, disrupting her thoughts. Her heart leapt. Maybe it was Robert. Maybe he’d changed his mind. She picked up the phone to look at the caller ID. It was Kate.
“Hi, Kate. I was just thinking about you.”
“How funny! Great minds and all that.”
“Yeah. Definitely. What’s up?”
“I forgot to give you the candles for the cake. I found some cool tall thin pastel ones.”
“They sound perfect. I meant to look for something different like t
hat, but then forgot.” As usual.
“Well, it’s taken care of,” Kate said. “So, was there something else?”
“Not really.” Don’t bother her. They probably have things they want to do tonight. You’re not helpless. You can handle this.
“Somehow you aren’t convincing me. Is everything okay?”
Sarah felt her throat tighten and the tears welled up in her eyes again. “I’m just freaking out a little,” she said in a rush. “Robert can’t come home and I have food to prep and eggs to fill and decorations to put up outside and—”
“Sarah.” Kate’s voice was measured and soothing. “Slow down. Why don’t I come over?”
“No, I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask. I offered.”
“But you’ve done so much already. I’m okay, really. I’ll get it all done. And I’m sure you-all have plans for tonight.”
“Hang on a second.”
Sarah waited. She hated the idea of imposing, but she had to admit that she would be very relieved if Kate came to help.
Kate came back to the phone. “The boys are camping with their Boy Scout troop, so we were just about to order pizza and watch Totoro with Emma for the one hundredth time. As much as she loves that damn movie, I know seeing Lizzy will be much more exciting. And you’ve saved Will and me! We’ll pick up pizzas and be over in about a half hour.”
“It’s really not—”
“Sarah, we’re coming. End of conversation. It’ll be fun. See you in a few.”
Kate hung up the phone and turned to Will. “Thanks for doing this.”
“Anything to avoid Totoro again,” Will said. He tilted up his chin and held the back of his hand up to his forehead. “I was feeling a sudden headache coming on. The kind that can only be cured by crawling into bed with my laptop.”