by L. A. Casey
“Why don’t you tell me in detail what you’ve dreamed of us doing?” I grunted. “I need to hear that.”
“Ye’ used your m-mouth on me,” she stammered. “And when I thought that would kill me, ye’ added your fingers and used them both to make me scream.”
I lightly bit her neck, encouraging her to continue.
“Your tongue.” She hummed. “You’d lick, and suck, and taste me all over until I was putty in your hands.”
I turned and dislodged her arms and legs from around me as I pushed her from my body and onto the mattress with a bounce. I rid myself of my shirt with one tug, and Alannah watched me with wide eyes.
“You’re perfect,” she said, staring up at him. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”
She stared at me like I was something to behold, but if she only knew how beautiful she was, inside and out, she would know that if anyone should be in awe, it was me. She was a treasure, something to protect and take care of.
You have no idea what you’re doing to me, Lana.
“Perfect?” I repeated as he gripped the hem of her dress and pushed it up to her waist. “No, baby, that’d be you.”
Without another word, I gripped the top of her dress, pulled the straps down her shoulders, and tugged the material down until her bare breasts were free. She didn’t have a bra on, and I groaned in appreciation as my eyes feasted on her perky breasts and pale pink nipples.
“You’re stunning, Lana.”
I slid my hands up her thighs, skimmed her stomach, and flattened them over her breasts. I cupped them, giving them a gentle squeeze before I ran my thumbs over the hardened, sensitive pink tips. The small action drew a slight moan from Alannah, her breathing was starting to become laboured and her body rolled slightly from side to side. I locked down between her legs, and when I saw her panties, my brows raised.
“Lace?”
“I like pretty u-underwear.”
“So do I.” I looked up at her, bare before me. “Christ, I’ll never get this image of you out of my head.”
“What are ye’ goin’ to do to me?” she whispered.
Everything.
“What I’ve wanted to do to you from the first moment I saw you.”
“What’s that?”
She yelped when I gripped the hem of her underwear and pulled them from my body. If the rustled sound of fabric tearing was anything to go by, I’d say I even ripped them a little in the process. I parted her thighs wide and lowered my eyes to her pussy. I licked my lips and inhaled.
“Damien!” Alannah cried, desperately trying to her shut her legs, but my shoulders wouldn’t let her. “Why are ye’ sniffin’ me? Oh, God! D’ye have a weird fetish or somethin’?”
I shook my head, smiling.
“No,” I mused. “I’m savouring how you smell because it’s damn good.”
Alannah’s body shook.
“This is indecent!” She hissed. “Ye’ can’t just ... Damien!”
I didn’t want to talk to her. I wanted to show her how good I could make her feel, so I parted my lips, and flicked my tongue over her swollen clit.
“Holy Mary, Mother of God.”
“Pray to whoever you want, freckles. No one can save you from me now.”
I licked and sucked on her pussy lips, her clit, and every piece of flesh I could reach. Alannah’s breathing was audible, and I knew she was enjoying my mouth on her just as much as I was. Her hips bucked into my face when my tongue slid up the trail of slick heat and curled it around her pulsing clit. She reached down and tangled her fingers in my hair. She was talking, but nothing she said made sense. She was beginning to fall apart. I applied pressure as I swirled my tongue around the sensitive bud, and the action knocked the air out of Alannah. She couldn’t lie still, so I hooked my arms around her thighs and applied heavy-handed pressure on them, which helped to keep her in place.
“Dame, Dame, Dame, Dame,” she cried out. “Oh!”
I rapidly suck my head from side to side before sucking her clit into my mouth.
“Oh God!” she screamed. “Oh God, oh God, oh God!”
She fell apart, and I looked up so I could watch her face as she experienced heaven. Her swollen lips were parted, her eyes squeezed her, her cheeks flushed, and her body quaking. I continued to lick and suck on her clit but lifted my head when she came down from her high. She was very still, only her chest rose and fell when she breathed, and it look like she was depleted of energy. She looked so perfect, so beautiful ... I had to know how she felt. I undid my jeans and pulled them and my boxers down my thighs. I removed a condom packet from my back pocket, ripped it open, and rolled it onto my cock.
“You’re so beautiful, freckles,” I said as I moved upward, grabbed my cock, and aligned it with her entrance. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable.”
Alannah’s eyes opened, and her hands flew to my arms as I sunk inside her. She winced slightly, and it made me sick. I tried to focus on her and not how hot, tight, and wet she was, but it was ... difficult.
“It’ll pass,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “Give it a second.”
I lowered my head and kissed her with tenderness and care. I whispered words of encouragement against her soft lips and brushed the tip of my nose against hers, then rested my forehead on hers and stared deeply into her eyes.
We were one at that moment.
Before long, Alannah wriggled her hips, pulling a pained groan from me as was trying my hardest to remain as still as a statue. She wriggled once more and from the look on her face, I knew she felt no pain. The second she hummed, I took it as a green light to move. When I withdrew slowly and thrust back in, her muscles tightened. I almost came there and then.
“Relax, baby,” I rasped. “You’re squeezing me like a vice.”
“You relax!” she countered. “It feels like a melon is bein’ shoved up me.”
I managed a chuckle, but when I withdrew and thrust back into her body, a moan left my mouth at the sensation that ran the length of my body. I quickly fell into a rhythm, and I hoped and prayed to God that I could last long enough to make Alannah come again, but I wasn’t sure I could. She felt better than I could have ever imagined.
“Christ.” I lowered my head and planted kisses along her neck. “You feel fucking incredible.”
Alannah was very vocal, so much so that each time she cried out, I fucked her a little harder just to pull another delicious moan from her lips.
“Oh!”
“Yeah,” I rasped. “Oh!”
“Keep doin’ that,” she ordered. “Oh, keep doin’ that!”
“I couldn’t stop if you paid me.”
Fast and hard poundings replaced the slow and gentle thrusts. Alannah dug her fingers into my flesh, and I was tempted to bite her but held it back. Alannah couldn’t, though. She leaned forward and latched her teeth onto my neck and bit down. I thrust into her so hard in response, a resounding slap echoed in the room.
“Fu...ck! Uh, yeah! You’re going to ruin me for any other woman.”
Alannah moaned in response.
“God, I could keep you forever.”
She pressed her forehead to mine. “Will ye’ keep me?”
“Yes.” I panted, nudging her face with mine. “God, yes. You’re mine.”
I couldn’t think of anything other than sensation as I fucked her, and when she suddenly orgasmed, and her muscles contracted around my cock, I fell apart with her. The pleasure that began to ripple through my body sent small spasms rolling throughout my limbs and left me trembling.
“You promise to keep me?”
“Yes,” I shouted. “I promise. Lana!”
I closed my eyes, biting down on my lower lip as my movements became frantic. My hips jerked as I came, and my muscles tightened as the pressure deflated. Ten or so seconds later, it was like every ounce of tension that had worked its way into my muscles melted away and spread over my body like a deep tissue massage. Completely spent, I fell forward.
“Damien!”
Alannah’s laughter reminded me that I could be hurting her, so I used my elbows to prop myself up, taking most of my weight off her. I focused my vision on her smiling face beneath me, and for a single moment, everything was perfect ... until I realised what I just promised her.
“Hi.” She beamed up at me.
“I didn’t mean to say that,” I blurted.
“Say what?”
“That stuff”—I cleared my throat—”about keeping you.”
A feeling of sickness began to form in the pit of my stomach when hurt flashed in Alannah’s eyes.
“Damien,” she whispered. “Can ye’ not say that while you’re still inside me?”
Fuck.
I looked down at our still connected bodies and quickly pulled out of her. She winced, and I apologised. I disposed of the now used condom and quickly began to redress, but my shirt was somehow ripped so I didn’t bother putting it back on. Alannah redressed too, and when we were decent, we got off the bed.
“I don’t understand what is happenin’,” she said as she slid her high heels back on. “Are ye’ okay?”
No, I wasn’t okay.
“I shouldn’t have said that shit.”
She flinched. “Don’t say that.”
“I have to; otherwise, you’ll believe it.”
“So, what? I’m not to believe that ye’ said ye’d keep me?” she demanded. “That ye’ promised to? What the fuck did ye’ say it for then?”
Because I was a fucking dumbass.
“Alannah, I would have agreed to anything at that point during sex,” I explained. “I couldn’t help it. My mind and body were both focused on the sensation, and my voice took on a role of its own.”
She took a step back away from me.
“You’re ruinin’ this!” she said, her lower lip wobbling. “You’re ruinin’ everythin’ about me first time. Why are ye’ doin’ this to me?”
I held her gaze. “I’m sorry, but I won’t lie to you.”
“What’s the lie?”
“When I promised to keep you.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and I wanted to kick my own ass for upsetting her.
“Damien,” I whispered.
I knew I shouldn’t have had sex with her, I knew she would renter it afterward. I tried to make it clear, but I mustn’t have made it clear enough, so I chose my words carefully so she would stay away from for her own sake. I broke everything I touched, and I was terrified of that happening to Alannah. I had to keep her away from me.
“It’s not that I can’t keep you, Lana; it’s that I don’t want to.”
She stumbled back as if I had struck her. The lie I just told hurt her deeply.
“I’m goin’ to get c-cleaned up,” she choked out.
“No.” I frowned. “Please, we have to talk about this. What I mean is—”
“I don’t think anythin’ ye’ have to say will make me feel better.”
“Alannah—”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s fucking not,” I countered. “I knew this was a bad idea. Just look at how upset you are! This is why I’ve tried to stay away from you. You’re a good girl, and I knew you’d let your emotions take centre stage. This was a mistake!”
Tears fell from her eyes and splashed onto her cheeks.
“Ye’ were right. This was a mistake, but I’ve made it.” She swallowed. “And I’ll learn from it, too.”
I reached for her, but she moved farther away from me and headed towards the door that led to the bathroom.
“I don’t want to speak to ye’ anymore, Damien,” she said as she opened the door. “Just ... just go away. Please.”
“Lana.”
She closed it behind her, and when I heard the lock slide into place, I turned and punched the mattress. Again, I fucked up. I pressed my face into my hands before I lowered them and stared at the door Alannah just walked through. I hurt her, I knew I had, but it was what was best for her. If I gave her false hope that a relationship was possible between us, I would break her heart in the long run, and I refused to do that. She was too good for me; I didn’t deserve someone who was as pure as her. I sat on the edge of the bed and stared down at my shoes.
I wanted Alannah, but for her sake, I wouldn’t let myself claim her. She wasn’t for me ... no one was.
CHAPTER FOUR
Eighteen years old ...
After Alannah entered the bathroom, I sat on the edge of the bed feeling sick until a hard knock sounded on the door. The knocking was constant, so I hurried to open the door, and when I did, Bronagh stumbled forward.
“Ye’ scared me, ye’ bastard.”
I grinned at her, trying to appear like nothing was wrong and my heart wasn’t ripped in two, but she didn’t seem to buy it.
“Where is she?”
I raised my eyebrows. “In the bathroom—”
“Did ye’ have sex with ‘er?”
My hands flexed, and my sadness over Alannah was quickly turning to anger thanks to Bronagh.
I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t think that is any of your business, Bee.”
Her eye twitched. “It is me fuckin’ business when it’s me friend you’re fuckin’ over.”
She pushed by me to enter the room, but just as quick, I wrapped my hand around her arm and brought her to a stop.
“I didn’t fucking rape her!”
Bronagh’s eyes widened in alarm, but only for a moment.
“Let go of me arm or I’m tellin’ Dominic.”
I let her go. “Is that how you deal with problems? You have my brother fix them?”
“Fuck you, Damien.” She took a step back away from me. “Ye’ know fuckin’ well that I deal with me problems meself. I don’t need Dominic to defend me from anybody!
I humourlessly laughed. “Jason Bane and Gavin Collins would disagree.”
She looked me up and down. “Ye’ can go and fuck yourself.”
I didn’t reply.
“Is she okay?”
I looked at the bathroom door, then back at Bronagh, and said, “She cried because after we had sex, she realised we would never be in a relationship.”
Bronagh lifted her arms and shoved me as hard as she could. I locked eyes with Bronagh and willed her to hit, kick me, to physically hurt me in some way to take away from the raw pain in my chest, but she didn’t. She looked at me with disgust, and it made me feel sick.
“I was very wrong about you. I thought ye’ were a good person; I didn’t let what Dominic told me about your past change me opinion of ye’ because what ye’ did wasn’t planned or even thought on. Ye’ did it to protect yourself, your brother, and Nala, but this? Ye’ knew how much Alannah liked ye’, ye’ knew she was a virgin, and ye’ knew she didn’t want to be a one-hit wonder, yet ye’ still pursued ‘er and persuaded your way into her knickers all because she rejected ye’ and ye’ liked the challenge of pullin’ ‘er.”
Was that what I was doing?
“You’re no fuckin’ better than any other scumbag out there who uses girls, and I hope ye’ realise what a cold and cruel person ye’ are for doin’ this, Damien Slater!” She stepped away from me. “After hearin’ a description of your ma and da from Dominic, it looks like the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree after all because ye’ only think about one person just like they did. Yourself. I bet they are so fuckin’ proud.”
I couldn’t breathe, and it felt like the room was closing in around me. Bronagh’s words ran through my mind, and my heart slammed into my chest, pleading for them not to be true. I fled the room without a backwards glance, and before I knew it, I had made my way through the club and out into the night air. I bent forward placed my hands on my knees. Bronagh’s words hit me harder than a train, and they hurt so much because I knew they were true. I was treating women like they were disposable. I made it clear I only wanted sex from a woman, but my attitude towards that was vile.
I could see that now, and it made me want
to vomit.
I turned back towards the club with the intention of talking to Alannah and clearing everything up with her. I would beg her for her forgiveness, I would make it clear to her that I liked her more than I had ever like anyone and that she made my stomach fill with butterflies whenever I looked at her. I was rehearsing in my head what I was going to say when I felt hands on my shoulders.
I looked over my shoulder, and when I saw a smiling Marco Miles, my spine stiffened.
“Damien, my boy. It’s good to see you.”
Before I could answer, something hard slammed into my head, sending me spiralling into darkness. When I woke up an unknown amount of time later, my head was pounding, and my entire face felt like it was on fire. I groaned and tried to sit up, but my body felt heavy. Panic flared as I looked around the room I was in, trying to figure out where the hell I was. I heard a groan from my left, and when I turned my head and saw Bronagh, my heart stopped.
“Bronagh!”
She stirred
“Bee?” I urged, pulling my aching body towards her. “Wake up, please.”
She groaned out loud as she woke up. She sat upright, winced in pain, and lifted her hand to her head. When she looked at her palm and saw there was blood on it, she frowned.
“What happened?”
I pulled myself into a sitting position and put my arm around her waist. She jumped as she looked my way, and she relaxed when she realised it was me, but only for a moment.
“Damien,” she whimpered. “Are you okay?”
I nodded as she began to cry.
“I’m sorry for everythin’ I said to ye’.” She sobbed. “You’re still a dick, but what I said was wrong.”
I chuckled. “Shut up, Bee. You were right about everything you said, and I only reacted the way I did because I knew it was true, and I hated it. I never want to be like my parents, and the shit I’ve being doing just proves that I am.”
Bronagh frowned at me.
“I don’t set out to break hearts. I actually don’t set out to have anything to do with hearts at all, but some girls get attached to me. I swear I never meant to hurt Alannah. I know this will make me sound like a prick. I am a prick, but I just wanted to be with her in the only way I know how to be. She’s different.”