“Thank you.” She darts her eyes up to me then drops them again.
I hold my hand out to her. “Ready?” I ask.
She nods, turning and hugging Cady goodbye. I drop her hand, smiling and stepping outside. Lighting up a smoke, I walk down the path, resting against the car as I wait for them to say their goodbyes.
Kailee comes bounding down the path, box in her hand. Her friend is right behind her, carrying a sack nearly the size of Kailee.
“The fuck,” I mumble. “Cady’s not moving in too, is she?” I ask, taking a drag of my cigarette and slowly blowing out the smoke.
“No, silly.” Kailee laughs, playfully slapping the top of my arm. “Cady was cleaning out her closet. Which means I get a new wardrobe full of clothes.” She beams, her face and eyes lighting with excitement. “And this…” She pushes a box toward me. “Look at the present she gave me.” I smile; her radiance and enthusiasm are infectious. I lift the lid, and inside is a book. I look at the box and back up at Kailee whose smile is as big as a smile can possibly be. “Isn’t it amazing? It’s signed and everything!”
I let out a chuckle, leaning in and kissing her cheek lightly. “You’re such a cute fucking nerd, Pip.”
“I know,” she takes the lid from my hand, replacing it and holding the box tightly against her chest. “Did you get the rest?” she questions. “The one’s from the trailer park?”
“I got it all, Pip. Don’t worry about a thing.” I reach to Cady standing behind her, taking the bag and dumping it in the back seat of the car.
“Was Jax there?” she asks, her eyes full of concern as they roam my face for an answer.
“Hmmm, but I don’t think he’ll be giving us any trouble. He seems hell-bent on taking the path to self-destruction.”
She lifts her head slowly, her body language changing as she stoops forward, almost as if she’s scared.
“Pip.” I hook my finger under her chin, lifting her head until her eyes meet mine. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”
Cady clears her throat. “I’m going to go inside. Call me,” she says with a wave over her shoulder as she makes her way inside.
“Let’s go home, baby.”
Kailee
I can’t help but fear the unknown. Jax is still out there, and I’m not even sure if I’m safe anymore. I know Ryder has vowed to protect me, but how can I possibly lead a normal life while looking over my shoulder, scared he could come for me again.
I lift Ryder’s arm, sliding out of bed, and make my way down the stairs. Sleep isn’t my friend; the thoughts racing through my mind refuse to shut off.
“You too?” Stella asks, my heart thudding rapidly in my chest as she surprises me. “I can’t sleep either,” she whispers, letting out a cough while holding her fist against her mouth.
“Can I get you anything?” I rush over to her.
“Just my inhaler, dear,” she chokes out between coughs. She points at the coffee table, so I grab it then pass it to her. She holds it in her mouth, pressing the button and inhaling deeply. Within a few seconds, her breathing steadies, and she rests back in the chair. “Thank you.”
“It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”
She nods slowly. “Don’t say anything to Ryder. I don’t want him to worry.”
“He already does,” I reply, pulling my legs underneath me as I get comfy beside her.
“It’s so good having him here. And you… well, that was a surprise, let me tell you.” Her eyes widen. “I’ve never met any of his girlfriends. Hell, I’m not sure if he’s ever had one.” She coughs just once. “You must really mean something to him. I’ve been telling him for years he should find a good girl to settle down with, someone who can set him on the straight and narrow. After his father had died, Jax hated the world, and well, Ryder, he got swept along trying to be there to protect his brother. Ryder has always been protective, thinking with his fists first.”
I nod and continue to listen to Stella tell me all about the twins when they were younger and how difficult it had been with their father growing up. The minutes turn into hours, and before I know it, we’ve pretty much been taking the whole night. I told her about my mom, and her death and how much I missed not only her but also the stability she brought.
After making some breakfast for us, I help Stella back upstairs and into her bedroom. Just walking proves difficult, and I worry about her. I’m not sure how much longer she will be able to care for herself, and I can see why Ryder has been concerned about her. As I make my way out, Ryder emerges from the bedroom, rubbing his eyes.
“Hey” — he yawns — “everything okay?”
“I was just helping your mom back to bed. We talked pretty much all night. Neither of us could sleep.”
He walks over, wrapping his warm arms around me, and lifts me off the floor. “You never cease to fucking amaze me.” He leans in, pressing his lips against mine. “Go get your pretty ass ready.” He sets me down. “We have plans today.”
“We do?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.
“Go,” he orders, slapping my ass hard.
“Ouch,” I whisper-shout before racing over to the bathroom. My heart pounds, and I know it’s my body’s reaction to Ryder. He stirs something inside that excites me to the core. I race to get ready, desperate to know what he has planned for today. I walk through the main room and into the kitchen. Ryder is dressed, resting his back against the countertop with a coffee in his hand. As our eyes meet, I feel a true sense of belonging. My stomach flutters, and my heart races fast with the realization of the true depth of my feelings for this man. My savior, my protector, my Ryder.
“Ready?” he asks, his green, marble-like eyes boring into me.
“More than ready,” I reply, pushing my Chucks on and grabbing my coat from the small coat rack next to the door.
We make our way out of the door and into the car. The journey is quick, and the whole time I lean into Ryder, enjoying the comfort of being close.
“Come on, you have to give me a clue,” I press him again for what must be the tenth time.
“Stop,” he says with a laugh. “I’m not going to tell you. It’s a surprise.” I let out a small growl of frustration, and he reaches over to squeeze my leg playfully.
“We’ll be there in about ten minutes.” He laughs. I sit upright, craning my neck to check our surroundings.
I look at the signs and gasp when I realize where we are. “We’re going downtown?”
“Maybe.” He grins.
We pull up outside the store, and my heart flutters as I’m filled with excitement.
“Oh, my god,” I shriek, releasing my seat belt. “You brought me to a bookstore?”
“Not just any bookstore,” he replies smugly. “This bookstore specializes in signed copies of those porn-style romance books you read.”
“They are not porn.” I gasp. “Romance, yes. Porn, certainly not.”
“Well, half of the books you read have semi-naked men on the front.”
“And your point?”
“My point is” — he reaches over, pulling me until I’m on his lap — “I’m the only semi-naked guy you need to be looking at.” My smile reaches from ear to ear. I lean in, kissing him gently on the lips.
“You’re the only one for me,” I declare, causing his eyebrows to rise in surprise.
“Glad to fucking hear it, Pip. Do you know what it does to me to hear you want me.” He runs his hands up the back of my neck, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me closer to him. “Let’s go inside before I take you here in this goddamn parking lot.” He groans, thrusting his hips upward and causing his obvious erection to hit me hard against my ass. I wiggle my body against his cock, and a rumble of laughter escapes him.
“Fuckin’ hell,” he growls, his brows lifting, and his eyes grow with lust for me. “We’d better fucking move, like now. I have zero restraint anymore around you, Pip.” He reaches for the handle to the door, and thrusting it open
, he slides me off his lap and sets me on my feet. I race over to the window of the huge store. The displays are like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Limited editions, signed books, looks like this store has them all. I look back over my shoulder; Ryder leans up against the side of the car, smoking a cigarette.
“What are you doing?” I quiz, standing with my arms crossed.
“Just admiring the view,” he says, tossing his cigarette butt to the ground. He blows out the last mouthful of smoke, pushing his hands into his jean pockets and making his way over to me. “You really love this book bullshit, don’t you?”
Nodding, I take his hand, linking my fingers with his. I eagerly pull him inside, desperate to see what this bookstore has to offer. And I’m not disappointed. Racks of books, several feet high, span the whole bookstore. The smell of new books fills my senses. I rush over, running my hand across the spine of the books stacked on the bookshelf. I pick one up, running my hand across the smooth, hardback cover, and it feels so good. I flick through the pages, and the sound is like music to my ears. I push the book back on the shelf and wander the bookstore, occasionally stopping and picking one out before placing it back on the shelf.
I look back over my shoulder, suddenly realizing I’ve left Ryder behind. I look at the end of the aisle and see his body propped against one shelf, arms and legs crossed. His stare is fixed on me, and I give him a flicker of a smile.
The all-too-familiar feeling builds again. My heart races, and my body heats under his intense stare.
“What are you doing?” he asks with a wolfish grin, walking slowly toward me.
“I’m looking, touching, and most of all, I’m feeling.”
“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He laughs.
I giggle a little. “No Ryder, I’m talking about the books.”
“Why do you keep putting them back? It’s my birthday treat to you. Pick whatever you want,” he says with a shrug.
“Really?” I squeal.
“Really, Pip,” he reiterates. “I’ll wait at the register for you.” He kisses me lightly on the cheek, and I dash from one end of the store to the other. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I don’t want to take advantage of his offer, so I just grab three books. Three books I’d wanted to read for such a long time.
I meet Ryder at the register, and he pays for the books before we head back out to the car. The skies darken, and rain starts to fall. I cover my books, hiding them inside my jacket.
We jump into the car, and I can’t help but laugh at Ryder as the water droplets drip from the end of his hair onto his face. I reach up, sweeping the hair away from his face.
“Thank you for today. I’m touched that you thought to bring me here.”
“I saw the bookstore yesterday when I came for your other present.” He smiles, his arm reaching into the back as he grabs a box, resting it on my lap.
“What’s this?” I ask, tears prickling my eyes, threatening to break through.
“It’s a replacement for the one you lost,” he says matter-of-factly. I open the box, looking inside.
“You got me a new cell phone. This is like the newest model, right?” I gulp.
“I guess,” he answers casually as if downplaying the whole damn thing.
I fly toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You didn’t have to do this,” I say, kissing him on the lips. He leans into me, kissing me back. The kiss is needy but slow and passionate. His hand holds my head in place, and I can’t get enough. We continue to kiss for a few more minutes. With each moment that passed, I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper for this guy. I let my hands work through his hair, and a low growl escapes him.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” I breathe out.
“I’m thinking about how much I fucking want you, Pip. Fuck. So bad,” he growls. I pull back a little, dropping into my seat.
“What?” he asks, his brows drawn together in confusion.
“Nothing,” I say reaching over my shoulder for the seat belt. He roughly grabs my hand.
“Bull-fucking-shit, Pip. There’s something wrong; what is it?”
“I need to know how you feel, Ryder. You say how much you want me physically. But I need to know if I mean more than that to you. Because I’m scared,” I screech. “I’m scared that after only a few days, I’m falling in love with you, and I’m not even sure if you feel the same,” I blurt out, tears streaming down my face. I open the car door, slamming it behind me. The rain pours over me, drenching me within seconds. I feel like I need to run, scared at what his reaction might be. I take a few steps forward before I’m halted to a complete stop.
“No,” he growls, pushing me against the wall behind. “Don’t you fucking run from me,” he warns, his warm breath against my cold face. I blink rapidly trying to clear the water from my eyes. Not just the droplets of rain but the tears too.
“Where the fuck has this come from?” He searches my face as if looking for the answer. I continue to cry; the feeling of love for him overwhelms me.
His body pins me against the wall. “I need to know, Ryder,” I choke out, but I’m unable to look at him. He cups my face, lifting my eyes until they meet his.
“I’m fucking crazy about you, Pip. How could you ever doubt that?”
“I need to hear you say it, Ryder. I need to know how you truly feel.”
“I don’t do romance like in your fucking novels, Pip. I’ve never said those three magical words to any chick before, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel that way for you. It just means I don’t know how. But one thing I do know is this. My fucking heart beats harder, faster when I’m with you. I know that I’d take one million fucking bullets for you. I’d risk my own life to protect you no matter what. And that scares the ever-loving shit outta me.”
Hidden in his words lies a declaration, the declaration I needed to hear. I wipe away the rainwater mixed with tears from my face. It has become apparent that I’m absolutely, helplessly in love with this guy. I drop my head against his chest, and reaching up, I wrap my arms around his neck. He lifts me up, and I instantly wrap my legs around his waist. His body pins me against the wall as he leans in to graze my lips, asking for permission to kiss me. I press into him, needing the contact and physical connection with him now more than ever. His thumb gently brushes over my jaw, and I lean in, sealing my lips over his. My lips part and our tongues meet, dancing together as we kiss with deep, raw passion. I work my hands up and through his drenched hair. He places one last, lingering kiss against my lips, resting his forehead against mine.
We make our way home after stopping for lunch at a small café. We ate, we talked, and I loved every second. Spending time with him, I loved getting to know more about what makes Ryder tick.
“One last stop before we go home, Pip.”
“Stop, where?” I ask.
He taps the side of his nose, and I sigh. I’m tired. After a night of barely any sleep and the emotion of today, I feel completely drained.
“What I’d really like is to curl up with one of these amazing books you just bought for me.” I look at him through my lashes, kind of pleading with him.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs, a little laugh escaping him. “Please let me do this one last thing for you.” His eyes flit back and forth between me and the road in front of us. The look on his face is that of sadness, and I can’t help but feel a little guilty.
“Of course. I’m sorry,” I say, grabbing his hand and pulling it onto my lap. “Thank you for today. For everything.”
The sadness on his face lifts. “You deserve it, Pip, and so much more. More than I can ever fucking give you. I fought my feelings for you because of that exact reason. Because you deserve the very best, more than a fucking criminal can offer.”
“No,” I let out a sob. “You have so much to offer, Ryder. You’ve given me so much in such a short space of time. Your protection, dammit, your life. You risked your life to save me. Do you know how crazy and amazi
ng that is? It means more to me than you will ever know.” I lift his tattooed hand to my mouth and place a gentle kiss there.
A few minutes later, the streets look a little more familiar. We pull up outside a house, and Ryder cuts the engine.
“Where are we?” My eyes dart around us, trying to make out exactly where we are. The long driveway leads to a large white garage door. Ryder steps out of the car, signaling for me to follow behind him. He knocks firmly on the garage door before digging into his pocket and lighting a cigarette. The door slowly opens, and a scary-looking guy stands with his arms crossed at the other side. His long black hair is scraped back, his face partially covered in tattoos. I stand frozen, part way down the driveway. I’m not sure whether to keep going or to turn back and run as far away from him as possible. Ryder and the guy exchange words before he looks back at me, his face contorting with confusion.
“Baby, come on,” he calls. My feet move, and I slowly make my way to Ryder and the guy with the tattoo that spreads up his neck onto the right side of his face.
“Pip, this is Jimmy.” He introduces us, and Jimmy holds out his hand. I take it, shaking lightly.
“Uh, nice to meet you,” I say with an edge of nervousness, still unsure who this guy is and why we are here.
“Pip’s my girl, so keep your fucking hands to yourself.” Ryder laughs, patting Jimmy heavily on the back. I can’t help the heat that rushes to my cheeks. It’s not just embarrassment; it’s so much more than that. It’s my body’s reaction to him announcing me as his. It’s a first for me, and I can’t deny it causes all sort of strange feelings deep down inside. My stomach flutters, and I just want to reach up, seal my lips over his, and feel his hands on me. In all the places where my body craves his touch.
Ryder holds out his hand, and we walk into the garage space, the door closing automatically behind us. Ryder follows Jimmy through a door leading us into a room where the clinical smell of bleach and cleaning products is pungent.
The edge of forever: A Blackhearts twins novel (Book two) Page 10