Now, I’m uncomfortable.
But Sharon just wipes at her eyes, shaking her head. “My goodness, you two remind me of Paul and me. Here,” she pushes two dessert plates at us, each with an oven-fresh cookie. “Eat them while they’re warm. They’re best that way.”
“Thank you,” I say, as Kensley reaches for the plates and finishes pulling them toward us.
Sharon walks to a door—pantry—and pull out a mini ladder. I’m confused as I watch her, but she pops it open and uses it as a seat on the other side of the bar. “What did you two want to talk about?”
Kensley shifts, and I can feel she’s finally nervous.
On the ride over, she kept saying she wanted to be the one to tell her, but I honestly hadn’t been sure she’d be able to. I reach for her hand again.
I’d say it, but knowing Kensley and her mood swings…
That was a joke.
I squeeze her hand in support, and she smiles at me. I can physically feel her anxiety dissipate.
“I want to marry Liam,” she says. “We have the license, but I didn’t want to finalize anything until I talked to you.” Her voice is started to become rushed. “I love you, Sharon, and you and Paul are a very important part of mine and the girls’ lives. I know the current situation is less than ideal, but I hope you don’t ever distance yourself. At least, from the girls. I would understand if you were hurt or angry with me, but—”
“Now, listen to me, Kensley Ann,” Sharon says, a motherly frown on her face—one that isn’t much different from one that I’ve seen Kensley wear a time or two. “You may not be my daughter, but I have known you since you were a girl. I love you, Kensley, and I love my grandbabies. I will never hold your choices against you. You do what’s right in your heart, honey. I know my Mark was not good to you. I told you before and I’ll tell you again, I’m disappointed in him but never, never with you. Mark did not treat you well, I know, Kensley dear. I know. And I don’t think I’ve seen you as happy with him, as I see you with Liam right now.”
Kensley’s hand is trembling in mine, and when I look over, I see her frantically mopping at her face with her other hand. I can’t help myself; I lift our joined hands to I can kiss the back of her hand.
“You two are too sweet.” Sharon reaches over the counter to tap my hand. “I like you, Liam, and I like what you’re doing for my Kensley and my girls. Just don’t keep them from me.” I glance at her, hearing the threat…
And realize she’s joking with me.
I grin and point at her. “You almost got me.”
Sharon openly laughs, clapping her hands once. “Now, you two eat those cookies. I’ll bag some up for you to bring home with you.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kensley
We did it.
After talking with Sharon, instead of grabbing the girls and heading home, Sharon and Paul followed us to the courthouse, and I became Kensley Ann Hardt. On the drive there, Liam and I talked to the girls about it, even though Sawyer didn’t understand it all. I’m not even sure London truly understood it.
Then, with the girls in tow, Liam and I went to a local jeweler to pick out rings.
Of course, Liam wouldn’t let me get a plain band. No, I ended up with a three-stone diamond ring that we were going to likely be paying off for years, but no matter what my argument was, Liam’s was better.
And then he hit me with the whole, Not only is it a three stone in regular meaning—past, because of your past; present, because we’re here now; and future, because you believe your pretty ass we have a forever; but also three because that’s where we started, you and your two girls; the three kids. It’s the beginning.
So, I couldn’t very well say no then.
The band I chose for him was one of those masculine ones—the silver and gold ones were too blingy to me, and the dark, black metal just looked right on his finger.
They were sized, and we’d pick them up next week.
But now…
I take a deep breath as I look out the window of the rental car. Liam is driving through the heavily wooded road that leads to my parents’ house.
When Liam and I discussed this trip, I decided I just wanted to come; didn’t want to call them first.
I was afraid that if I called, they’d deny me the opportunity it see them.
This way, if we surprised them…
Well, they wouldn’t turn us away with the girls with us. I knew that.
I needed them to see the girls.
To see what they were missing out on.
And God, I hope it’s enough for them to want us in their lives.
The girls didn’t know anything of the trip. Last night, they even talked about our weekly park outing. I felt bad lying to them, letting them believe we’d be going to the park, but I also wanted to surprise them with the trip.
Not that this was a surprise Disney trip.
That would probably be more fun, but not something I was willing to do until the kids were older and actually understood it.
This morning then, Liam and I woke the girls up incredibly early—with the girls and car seats and stroller…we decided to play it safe and get to the airport the allotted two-hours early—it was only once we reached the airport that London started to understand.
Surprisingly, both girls did incredibly well on the plane and, because Sawyer was small enough, she was able to be a lap-child.
“It’s beauuuutiful, mama,” London says, and I look over my shoulder to see her pressed against the window.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her to keep her back to the seat, but Liam was driving slow enough that I wasn’t concerned.
Lake Tahoe was blasted with an early spring snow storm, and while the roads were thankfully cleared, the pines were decorated with heavy snow. The girls haven’t seen snow before, and I’m excited to give them at least that this weekend.
“Are we stopping at the rental first?” Liam asks, glancing over at me. He has both hands on the wheel and I know it’s not because of the roads, but the girls. Whenever he has the girls in the car, he drives with an extra amount of safety.
It makes me smile.
“Do you think we should?”
I watch as he glances in the mirror, then the clock. He’s timing Sawyer’s nap, I realize. “She slept on the plane—” even though it was a quick, ninety minute, up-down flight, “She’ll hold out for a while,” I tell him. “I think… I think we should just get it over with.” My chuckle is dry and nervous.
Liam takes his hand from the wheel and squeezes my thigh before bringing it right back to its previous position.
“Alright.” We already had the car GPS programed for my parents’ house, but we also chose a rental cabin that was only a few miles north of their place.
Like London behind me, I have my face turned and looking out the window. The closer we get to my parents’, the harder my heart pounds, the harder it is to get in a full breath.
Even the baby is restless. I rub my hand over my belly.
When Liam slows, I open my mouth to take in a deep breath.
We’re here.
“Alright, girls,” he says, pulling up the driveway. “London, when we get out, hold your mama’s hand and stay close. Half pint, you’re with me.”
“Where are we?” London asks, wiggling to try and see.
“We’re going to meet some people. Mama’s mom and dad,” Liam answers, and I’m thankful for him right now. I can’t speak around my nerves.
We’d agreed that the girls would know who they were; if they didn’t want to be part of the girls’ lives, then at least the girls knew they existed. It went back to my whole not wanting to lie to them, even though both Liam and I were concerned with London’s reaction if they didn’t want to be included.
Whatever happens here today though, we have a Skype date with Liam’s parents later tonight. We’re doing the full family-shindig this weekend, and Liam swore up and down that his parents would be beyond
thrilled to ‘meet’ me and the girls tonight.
“Alright, ladies,” Liam says, putting the rental car in park and shutting off the ignition. “Is Sawyer’s jacket in her bag or ours?”
I swallow hard, my eyes locked on the front door of my parents’ house. It’s an accent teal, in an otherwise beige house. “Um. Ours, I think.” It wasn’t that we needed three bags, but knowing how excited London was bound to get, we knew she’d want her own rolling bag. To keep things fair, we got one for Sawyer too.
Not that she could pull it well.
We’d stacked Sawyer’s on our larger one, while letting London take hers.
Liam leans over the center console of the Ford Fusion we’re renting and kisses my cheek. I turn my face then, and he presses a longer one to my lips; I sigh against them, grounding myself once again.
“Let me grab her jacket first. You guys stay in here for the time being.”
I nod, then Liam’s out of the car and moving to the popped trunk. It’s only a couple of minutes, maybe two, before he’s opening Sawyer’s door. “’kay, girls. London, go ahead and unbuckle.” It’s something we’d been working on with her, since she transitioned to her booster two weeks ago.
With shaky hands, I unbuckle too, and step out into the brisk air. I take a deep breath, my eyes closing, before I go back to help London. I see that Liam has Sawyer’s harness undone and is threading her second arm through the winter jacket. I take London’s hand and help her hop out.
Soon, Liam has Sawyer scooped to his side and we’re walking up the shoveled walkway to that bright teal door. Liam takes my free hand and squeezes it. “You’re good.” It’s not a question but a reassurance, so I nod.
“I’m good.”
Then, with another deep breath, I release Liam’s hand and ring the doorbell.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Liam
I take Kensley’s hand back in mine after she rings the doorbell. I don’t know if she realizes it, but she’s shaking. I squeeze her hand twice, and she answers back with one of her own.
London, surprisingly, is standing still at Kensley’s side. Even Sawyer is calm, as she has both arms wrapped around my neck. I think they’re just as nervous as their mother, even if they don’t truly understand the moment.
When the door opens, I’m struck with just how strong the genes are on Kensley’s side—because not only do her girls look just like her, but Kensley looks exactly like her mother. Standing in the doorway is what I imagine Kensley will look like in twenty, thirty years.
The woman’s hand goes up to her mouth on a gasp and I’m now absolutely positive this was the right thing to do.
“Mom.” Kensley’s voice is shaking and when I look over, I see that her eyes are filled with tears.
“Oh, honey.” Her mother takes her hand from her mouth and reaches out for Kensley, and soon the four of us are inside the house. “Randy! Come to the living room.” Then, to us, “Can you stay? Oh, how I want to talk to you, Kensley. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. Please. Please, take off your shoes and coats. Oh, my goodness, look at you. And your girls. Oh, my.”
The girls are still incredibly still and when I move to lower Sawyer, her arms only tighten around my neck. I turn my face to talk softly to her. “Let’s just take off your shoes and jacket, Sawyer.”
I’ve nearly got her to the floor when another voice booms through—which scares Sawyer, sending a startled jump through her tiny body.
“Who’s at the door, Kathy…” Her name is drawn out as I assume Kensley’s dad makes it into the room.
“Hi, dad.”
“Kensley…” I look up to catch his reaction. The big man that is Kensley’s father—tall, broad in the shoulders, his light hair graying—I watch as his face, too, crumples at the sight of his daughter.
Totally the right thing to do.
To come here.
“C’mon, half pint. Let’s take these off,” I tell Sawyer again, and she reluctantly lets me, even though her eyes are on the strangers in the room.
Still kneeling with the task complete and Sawyer’s jacket draped on my thigh, and with Sawyer plastered to my side, I reach out for London. “London, let me help.”
“I can’t let go of mama’s hand,” she mumbles, not looking at me, but following her instructions carefully.
“London,” I say quietly.
Kensley snaps back to attention. “It’s okay, sweet girl. Mama’s okay.”
London slowly let’s go of Kensley’s hand and steps over to me, her blue eyes darting between me and her grandparents. While I help London untie her shoes, Kensley toes her own off and, after the girls are good and my shoes are off too, we follow Kensley’s parents to the large leather couch in their living room.
It’s a massive room, with huge vaulted ceilings and a wall of windows, facing the lake. The other wall has a floor to ceiling, stone-encased fireplace, where a fire is crackling in the firebox.
I don’t want to leave Kensley’s side, so when we sit on the couch, we’re sitting with London to my left, Sawyer on my lap, and Kensley pressed to my right. London holds onto my arm that’s holding Sawyer in place, and Kensley has my hand tight within both of hers.
Her parents—Randy and Kathy—sit in an oversized chair across from us.
“How are you, Kensley?” her mom asks. Her voice is still shaking with emotion.
“I’m good.” She’s nodding, and I see her eyes flickering between her parents. “I’m sorry.”
“No, we’re sorry,” Randy says then. The man is close to crying, something that I take note of. There’s no loss of emotion in this room. The years apart were as hard on them, as I think they were on Kensley. Even though she didn’t speak of them, I realize it hurt her to be separated from them. “We should have never…” He’s shaking his head and lifts a hand up to his eyes, brushing at them with his fingers and thumb, then squeezing his nose.
“Your big girl,” Kathy says, nodding toward London. “Her name is London?”
“Yes. I’m sorry, um.” Kensley swallows hard and I squeeze her hands. “That’s London. On Liam’s lap, is Sawyer. She’s twenty months. Turns two in August.”
Kathy nods again. “We received your card.”
I assume then, that Kensley sent them a card with Sawyer’s birth announcement.
“Yeah. Um.” It’s been so long since I experienced this side of Kensley’s nerves, that I forgot about them. “And this is Liam.” She lifts our hands a little.
“And…Mark?”
Kensley shakes her head. “He’s not… I married Liam earlier this week.”
I can see Kathy’s eyes fill with tears again, and this time, I say something. “It was small. Literally, just us and two witnesses.” I don’t think it needed to be said who our witnesses were. “We’re going to have a reception in the summer. You’re welcome to come.” I issue the invitation as I look over to Kensley, who nods, confirming it was the right thing to say.
“You’re happy?” Randy asks, his voice gruff.
“I am.”
Randy nods a few times, “Good.”
Kathy speaks again. “The baby?” All of the partial questions only add to the heavy emotion of the room.
“Is Mark’s. It’s…” Kensley shakes her head. “It’s complicated, mom, but Liam’s really good to us. I love him, and he loves us, and it’s just good right now.”
“When are you due?”
“End of June.”
Kathy nods a few times and I can see that her eyes are heavy with tears again. “Can I… Can I be there?”
Kensley’s nodding quickly now and when I look over, I see tears falling over and down her cheeks. “Yeah, mom. You can.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Kensley
It had been an emotionally draining day.
My parents invited us to stay for a late lunch, which we agreed to. And when Sawyer was getting visibly tired, they offered their guest room for her to nap.
I was going to refu
se, but when my dad asked London if she’d ever been sledding, it was hard to say no.
Liam had gone outside with London and my dad, while mom and I sat in the kitchen, nursing mugs of tea.
We spent an hour catching up on things.
I learned that while they’d been upset—hurt—over my pregnancy, they never intended for us to not speak to one another again. But their pride kept them from reaching out.
Considering Liam talked to me about my pride on more than one occasion, I unfortunately understood their decision.
It was, after all, my pride that kept me from reaching out to them.
I opened up to her about what had been happening with Mark over the last four years, and I even admitted to my mom that things with Liam had been fast…
But that they feel right.
“They look right, too,” mom assures me with a small smile.
It isn’t until four that Liam and I pack the girls up in the car to head to the rental cabin, but we leave my parents’ house with plans for breakfast.
“That went well,” Liam says, a few minutes into the drive. Sawyer is singing to herself in the car seat, and London is quiet. I wouldn’t be surprised if she falls asleep in the five minutes it will take to get to the rental cabin.
I nod. “It did. I shouldn’t have waited so long.”
Liam takes my hand and kisses the back. He doesn’t give me reassurances, but I know it’s not because he disagrees or agrees. It’s just who Liam is.
The rest of the short drive is done in silence and when we get to the cabins, London is indeed asleep.
“Let me get us checked in and get the keys. Lock the car after me,” Liam says, putting the car in park.
“It’s not exactly a dangerous place,” I joke. “But okay.”
He heads in and I do lock the doors. Looking over my shoulder, I smile at Sawyer. “Hey, girly. How are you doing? You good?”
“Yes,” she says with an answering smile. I reach back and squeeze her leg gently.
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