Joshoku

by Hildred Billings

  Something gurgled in the young man’s throat as he stared intently at Aiko, as if she had a bug on her nose. “I’m afraid I’m not familiar with such things, Professor.”

  “Who is?”

  The man departed after that, leaving Aiko and her adviser to discuss the thesis proposal for the rest of the appointment. In the end she didn’t have much else to go on, besides a copy of an E.M. Forster novel and a long list of questions to answer for her next appointment the following week. Aiko didn’t have to do much during senior year other than write her thesis, but she wanted to make it count. Even if she couldn’t tell her mother about the subject.

  She went straight to Reina’s house after leaving campus that evening, helping herself into the old wooden house since her girlfriend never locked the damn door when home alone. Her mother must be at work. Sachiko worked anywhere between two to three jobs to pay the bills. It often astounded Aiko, whose mother hadn’t worked a day outside of the home.

  Reina was in her room, brooding over homework already. Or at least that’s what she was probably supposed to be doing, for she lay on her futon, staring at the ceiling even after Aiko entered the room. “Hi,” Aiko said, closing the door behind her. The smell of fresh cigarette smoke lingered in the air. Sure enough, Reina had an ashtray stuffed full of butts on her desk. Homework. The closer Reina got to tests, the more cigarettes she went through.

  “Hi.”

  “What’s wrong? Tired?”

  “Un.”

  Aiko put down her bags and loomed over her girlfriend. “School kicking your butt?”

  “Un.”

  Still Reina did not move. “Do you want to have sex?”

  Like a rocket Reina sprang up, her eyes focused on Aiko’s cleavage before her. “That was a fast offer.”

  Aiko wandered away, cleaning out the ashtray for a lack of anything else to do. “Just wanted to make sure you were still alive.”

  “Ugh.” Without further pomp, Reina slumped back onto her futon and resumed staring at the ceiling.

  Even though she was always a bit dramatic about things, it was not like Reina to stay this way after Aiko showed up. Maybe I should have sex with her. But Aiko wasn’t in the mood, and Reina could always tell when her girlfriend wasn’t in the mood. “What’s the matter with you? You’ve been grumpy for a while now.” Ever since the start of the new semester two months ago.

  “I’m fine.”

  Aiko sat on the futon next to Reina. “No you’re not. Something at school bothering you?”

  “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  “Are those girls still messing around with you?”

  A moment of silence. “I guess.”

  “Now what?”

  This time, a snort. “You’ll get mad if I tell you.”

  Aiko’s skin bristled. “Now I have to know.”

  Reina was quiet for another minute, one leg crossed over the other as she twirled her foot in circles in the air. The way she bit the inside of her cheek told Aiko that another woman was probably involved. Did she cheat on me? Two years ago she may have believed it, since Reina’s reputation often preceded her. Womanizer. Flirt. Slut. She heard those words wherever her girlfriend went, and to a point... well, those first two were true. Aiko didn’t like applying toxic words like slut to women, but Reina readily called herself that all the time. Certainly she slept around before they met. She continued to want to sleep with others whether Aiko joined or watched. This relationship will be the death of innocence. If it hadn’t happened already.

  “One of those girls kissed me. I didn’t kiss her back, though, so don’t get angry.”

  Confusion was the only thing keeping Aiko from feeling any other emotion, be it anger or indifference. Someone kissed her? And Reina chose now to tell her, two months later? Of course that’s how it happened. Reina probably didn’t think anything of it at the time. “I’m not angry.”

  “Really?”

  “No. Just perplexed.”

  “Sou ka...” Reina sat up again, arms draped around her bent legs. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. There’s something off about that girl. There’s no reason for her to keep bothering me about being gay unless...”

  Aiko laughed. “Do you think she has a crush on you?”

  “Maa, I’m not sure.”

  “If that’s the case, don’t lead her on.”

  “I wasn’t going to!”

  “You sure?”

  Reina glared at her girlfriend through the corners of her eyes. “I’m tired of messing around with straight or questioning girls. I’d much rather fool around with women who at least want the pussy.”

  “You have such an amazing way with words.” Aiko leaned against her girlfriend’s shoulder. Within seconds she heard the rumblings of a stomach that had yet to consume anything.

  They went down to the corner convenience store and bought bento for dinner, taking out a folding table in Reina’s room so they could sit on her futon while eating and talking. Aiko mentioned her thesis and what she wanted to write about; Reina didn’t have to write a thesis, so she blathered about her new study group. “I’ve never seen a group of so many sexually oppressed women,” she said, chewing on her chopsticks. “I can’t decide which would be worse... having sex with men, or having no sex at all.”

  I have a feeling I know which is true for you. “Hm, I’ve been thinking about something lately, Reina-chan.”

  One of the chopsticks fell out of Reina’s mouth. “Nani?”

  Dinner finished, Aiko wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s midsection and inhaled her scent. Musky, smoky, utterly beautiful and wholly Reina. It was the first thing Aiko smelled when they kissed two and a half years ago, trapped in a karaoke booth with nothing better to do than explore sexuality together. And it was the first thing Aiko remembered when she thought of making love to her girlfriend. Of course there were other admirable things: the way she panted and grunted in the moments leading up to orgasm; the feel of her heat enveloping Aiko’s body, alongside the softness of her skin and the bite of her lips; the sight of her body undulating as she made love. But it was that scent of “Reina” that made Aiko come unhinged the most. It was safe, loving, and hers a majority of the time. Just the thought of it made Aiko tense up and think of seducing her girlfriend. The easiest quest in the world.

  “You know, it’s been a while since we last included someone else...”

  “Ehhh.” Reina dropped everything and gave Aiko her undivided attention. “I’ve never heard you be so frank about that sort of thing. She likes it after all!”

  Aiko pushed her hand against Reina’s chest. “Of course I like it...” It just took her a few months to get used to the idea of bringing other women into their sex lives. I was ready to let Reina be my one and only. And then... “It has its merits.”

  “You’re blushing.” Reina poked her girlfriend’s pink cheek. “You’re thinking about doing it. With another girl.”

  “No! I mean...” Dear Reina was always going on about what made sex with multiple women so fun and fascinating. The discovery of a new body... the foreign sounds that made things more interesting... sharing intimacy and making good memories with someone else. The only thing was that the actual act of the threesome still left Aiko feeling shyer than a maiden on her wedding night. “It’s been a while, that’s all.”

  “I suppose. Last time we tried it that girl...”

  Aiko bit her lip. “I suppose, indeed.” Too bad. Kiki was cute. I wouldn’t have minded seeing her naked. Or anything else related to that. “I guess it seems weird to go this long.”

  The embrace Reina wrapped her in was full of the warmth Aiko always sought. “You like it too, huh? Having a new woman to experience. Why shouldn’t you? You’re like me in that regard. You act sweet, Ai-chan, but deep inside you roars the blood of a naughty girl. Right?”

  Aiko giggled, enjoying the thought of her living a double life. Well-mannered young w
oman by day, horny vixen by night. “The best thing is that there is always something new to do with you.” She kissed Reina, intending for it to be a short and sweet kiss.

  Of course, that was impossible. Once she kissed Reina, she knew that was going to jumpstart everything.

  She landed on the futon, Reina curled around her as they made out and felt each other up. But somehow this was different. Aiko threw her energy into it as well, not letting her girlfriend completely dominate her for once. Because I can be like her. That thought enthralled Aiko as she wrapped her legs around Reina’s and thrust against her. Reina purred into her ear, murmuring that she liked this side of her girlfriend. “So eager,” she said, opening the front of Aiko’s blouse and stroking her flesh as it emerged from her bra. The lacy black one. “Of course you want to do wicked things. Tell me, what kind of girl do you like?” The cup of Aiko’s bra came down, and her girlfriend’s fingers were there, pinching her nipple and making her squeak in pleasure. Aiko’s reflexes kicked the flimsy folding table away. “I bet you like all sorts of women. As long as they give you what you want...” Reina’s hand disappeared beneath Aiko’s short layered skirt and pressed against her thighs. “You’ll take anyone between your legs.”

  “Reina...” She rubbed Aiko now, teasing her through the cotton layer of her undergarments. “If they’re anything like you...”

  “Yes?”

  Their breath hung hot between their lips as Aiko eased up and teased herself for a change. “How can I resist?”

  Her moans drowned in Reina’s mouth as they kissed, breasts brushing up against Reina’s scratchy sweater as her girlfriend’s fingers pushed beneath her lingerie and stroked the length of her folds. I can’t resist now. Arousal was awakened by the spring like a blooming flower, expanding in Aiko’s stomach as the rest of her body flared up in desire for Reina’s scent and presence. Oh, God. Even though it was just the two of them in that sanctuary of theirs, Aiko felt naughty indeed, her mind swelled with the images of other women watching them. What was that word? That word that meant she was hot for women? That she had caught this wonderful affliction from Reina, which got worse every time her girlfriend shoved her fingers inside and reached for the innermost places of Aiko’s body? Joshoku? What a wonderful word.

  “One more, please,” Aiko begged, her arms looped around Reina’s shoulders and torso as she vainly tried to hump against her girlfriend’s fingers. Reina pulled out long enough to add another finger. They filled Aiko, her left leg stretching out in an attempt to get Reina deeper inside her. “Reina! Oh...” Her body stilled as it welcomed those fingers with enough aieki to make her dizzy. “Harder.”

  Reina always knew how to get Aiko what she really wanted, even if she didn’t know how to express it. She wanted her girlfriend so deep inside of her that it felt like they were one, that the rhythms of their bodies were something that couldn’t be achieved by any other couple in the history of time. A silly girl’s sillier fantasy. But she felt that surge of adoration going both ways as Reina filled her, thrusting into her smoothly, letting Aiko sink into her arms as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

  “I...” Aiko uttered, her lips trembling as her body began to writhe on her girlfriend’s hand, “Iku... mou sugu...”

  “Come all you want.” Reina always sounded like another person during these moments. Like a benevolent spirit with a malevolent edge. Yet it couldn’t drown out the sounds of their lovemaking as Aiko’s body swallowed what it could of Reina’s. I love that sound. She loved hearing how her body wanted Reina as badly as her mind and heart. She opened my eyes to a world of sin. Those same ones looking into another universe behind Reina’s sultry gaze. She’s devouring me with them. Just like Aiko’s omanko devoured Reina’s fingers, her clitoris happy to have a strong thumb stimulating it. Trembles shook Aiko’s legs first, then her stomach, and then her chest as she groaned in orgasm. She couldn’t control her limbs as they curled and held onto the air for dear life, her omanko contracting around Reina’s hand until she nearly lost her mind.

  When she came down from euphoria, Reina pressed her into the futon and kissed her, never pulling her fingers out. Aiko didn’t care. There was still more pleasure to gain from this one woman. The thought of needing anyone else ever was laughable at best.

  The heat cooked the cement walkways around the campus as Reina emerged from her study group one July afternoon. Bunch of weirdos. She went to school that day wearing a T-shirt and a pair of denim shorts. Usually Reina was untouched by heat and humidity, but the record highs that day made her too hot. The shorts proved too much for the pious girls in her group, however, and they glared at her the entire afternoon as Reina did nothing more than exist with a pair of bare legs.

  “Go away,” she mumbled to the sun, sitting high in the sky with its burning rays. Sweat seeped down Reina’s forehead as she marched to the cafeteria to get a snack to eat on the way home. She stopped at a vending machine and got a cold bottle of water to chug down her throat.

  Even though the cafeteria was only a few meters away, Reina still ducked into the nearest building to take advantage of the air conditioning. How the hell am I getting home without dying? And how was she going to survive home? Screw that! Her mother never let her turn on the air conditioning, and fans would not cut it on a blazing day like that. Reina would have to sit in a cafe until it closed to take full advantage of a chill.

  She was dreaming of ice and snow when she heard a familiar voice cry out in vain.

  “Yoko-chan!” Hitomi stumbled into an empty hallway, her best friend pushing past her with a sour face. “Please listen to me!”

  Yoko stopped to glare at Hitomi, but quickly turned around and started shuffling in the other direction. “You’re twisted. Call me when you get your shit together again.”

  “I was joking! I swear it!”

  “Oh, yeah? Whether you’re messed up or just playing, I’m not in the mood to deal with it right now. See you later.” Yoko disappeared out a side door, impervious to the heat.

  Hitomi watched the door shut again. Two seconds later, she bowed her head and wept into the back of her hand.

  Disturbed, Reina backed away before she could be seen. The outdoor furnace was more desirable than a homophobe crying bitter tears. Still, I wonder what’s wrong. The only times Reina felt any compassion for someone not close to her was when her instincts told her it had something to do with her. Another Pandora’s Box I shouldn’t open. She crumpled her now empty water bottle and went back out the exit she entered minutes before. Hitomi was still crying the last she saw her.

  The ensuing months took a toll on Reina and Aiko’s relationship, in terms of how much time they were able to spend together. Between Aiko’s thesis writing and Reina’s studying and increasing work schedule, they barely found time to spend a few hours a week together, foregoing dates in favor of hanging out in Reina’s room. These weeks and months flew by for Aiko, who spent most of her nights reading Western literature and searching them for evidence to develop her thesis about the appearance of homosexuality over the past hundred years. When she wasn’t reading she was pining for her girlfriend, for as much as Aiko liked to pretend she was above it, she often missed sex and missed the companionship even more. For her birthday in September she insisted that Reina take her out on a real date, which included dinner and a hotel.

  By December Aiko was left wondering where the months had gone. Summer turned into fall which turned into winter, bringing with it the college senior paranoia over job hunting. It was customary for graduates to begin hunting for a job en masse around the new year, in the hopes of bagging one by graduation. When Aiko went to Reina’s house on their anniversary, she did not expect to find her girlfriend filling out job application forms in her room.

  Banks, government buildings and offices Aiko had never heard of. They were sprawled out on Reina’s folding table alongside a small stack of photos Reina was required to attach. Before Aiko knew it, she was roped into he
lping her girlfriend on their anniversary.

  “Can you believe it’s been three years?” Aiko asked, gluing one of Reina’s headshots to a piece of paper. “This past year especially has blown by. And now you’re applying to jobs? I can’t believe it.” Some glue stuck to her fingers.

  Reina grunted. “I never thought in a million years that I would be some monkey in a suit. 9-5, insurance... what am I getting myself into?”

  Aiko picked up her girlfriend’s seal and started applying it to the bottom of the forms. Illegal, but who will know? “You’re being responsible.”

  “Yuck.”

  “I know.” Aiko didn’t have much room to talk. She had a stack of job applications in her own room, but had yet to fill any of them out. I don’t want that kind of life... But she had no idea what she was going to do after graduation. She had entertained the thought of taking the year off and applying to graduate school, or maybe doing some traveling in America, but was not committed to either idea. The fact Reina had her shit together more than her girlfriend was troubling at best to Aiko. “Hopefully soon we can be together more often. I’ve missed you a lot.”

  The pen scratching on a form stopped suddenly as Reina looked up. “Yeah, guess I’m busy. School, work... I barely go to the bars lately. Last time I went they yelled at me that I had abandoned them.”

  “Like I said, you’re being responsible.”

  “I hope it ends soon!” The pen landed on the table. “And I’m pissed because I started my period today and I don’t want to have sex. What the hell is wrong with me?”

  Aiko patted her girlfriend’s arm. “We don’t have to have sex.” Damnit. Aiko planned on that being a highlight of the evening. “I brought some cake for us to eat. We’ll find a way to make tonight special.”

  “I guess.”

  Aiko dropped the items in her hand and leaned against Reina’s shoulder. “As long as we’re together, it will be special. Not every night has to be a wild joshoku party.”