“Watch him!” Pops yelled. “Run that ball, boy!”
I switched my attention back to the game. What’s-his-name’s mouth was hanging wide open, and he was snoring and drooling like a damn pig. “Pops, shake him, would you?”
“Aw, he’s just tired. He came here straight from work. He ain’t been to sleep yet.”
I walked over and shook him. He snorted, then closed his mouth and was quiet. I went and poured myself some scotch and came back on the sun porch. The boys was outside in the front yard, playing with a rubber football.
“You and Franklin could make some pretty babies,” Darlene was saying. I looked at Zora, but she didn’t flinch.
“We’ve got too many other plans before we start thinking about having babies.”
“Like what?” Darlene asked, leaning on both elbows.
“Well, he’s going back to school in January.”
“Franklin? In school? I gotta see that to believe it,” my Moms said.
“He is,” she said, defending me. “Franklin wants to start his own business one day, and I’m hoping to get a record contract, so it’ll be some time before we start thinking about babies. Besides, marriage comes first.”
“I would think so,” Moms said.
“What about you, Darlene?”
Darlene looked down at the plastic tablecloth. “I don’t want any kids.”
“You don’t?”
“Nope.”
“Why not, if I’m not being too personal?”
My Moms cut her eyes at Darlene.
“Because I just never wanted any. I can’t picture myself being a mother. I’ve got a million things I want to do in my life, but having babies is not one of them.”
That was only part of the truth. Darlene can’t have no kids. Somebody fucked her up in high school. The whole family found out about it by accident. She comes home, complaining that she’s in pain, and it turns out that she couldn’t stop bleeding. When my Moms found out the truth, all she said was, “Serve your dumb ass right.”
“But, Ma, what would you’da done if I had come home pregnant?”
“I don’t know. But you didn’t have to go to no butcher and damn near get yourself killed.”
They had to rush Darlene to the hospital. And a few days later, I heard that they took her insides out. My Moms still didn’t show her no sympathy. “Now I guess you satisfied,” is what she said when they got home.
“Hey, Zora,” Pops yelled. “Come on out here and have a Thanksgiving drink with us.”
“She don’t drink liquor, Pops.”
“Okay,” I heard Zora say, and she appeared in the doorway.
Was I hearing things, or what? She must be bored as hell already—that’s gotta be it. I ain’t never seen her drink nothing stronger than a soda. I wanna see this shit myself.
“I’ll have another one too,” Darlene said.
“You look like you’ve had enough,” I said.
“Nobody’s talking to you, buffalo head, so be quiet.”
Darlene got up and poured them both two tall ones. Zora brought hers out on the sun porch. I looked at her, but she wouldn’t look at me. She took a sip. Her nose turned up and she squinched her eyes, but she didn’t put it down. What was she trying to prove?
“You know, I’ll be happy to drive you two home later on, or you can spend the night here—plenty of room,” Pops said.
“We both gotta get up early, but you can give us a ride to the ferry,” I said.
Just then he shouted at a tackle being made on the third down, and what’s-his-name still didn’t budge. The kids was running around the house, and after a while I looked at the fake fireplace. There was pictures of all four of Christine’s boys, from the time they was babies till now. Where was my kids’ pictures?
“Jerry, how’s the food coming?” Pops yelled. It was almost halftime, and what’s-his-name finally woke up.
“We putting the food on the table now, Felix.”
Zora got up and went back into the dining room, carrying her now half-empty glass, and offered to help. My Moms told her she didn’t need any. The game was getting heated, but I sat down at the dining room table because Christine and Zora was now in some kinda conversation that I felt like getting in on. Darlene was just sitting there like a zombie, not saying nothing, and you couldn’t tell if she was even listening. Zora was running her mouth faster than I’d ever heard since I’ve known her.
“I just wish that black people wouldn’t harp so much on the past and stop blaming white folks for everything.” Zora gulped down another slug. “I mean, we’ve got more opportunities now than we’ve ever had before. Some of us are just too lackadaisical.”
I knew Christine didn’t know what the fuck that word meant. I did. And why I wasn’t taking this shit personally, I don’t know. Maybe ’cause there was some truth to it. And since I ain’t never really heard Zora’s real feelings about this kinda stuff, I decided to just kick back and listen. One thing I did notice was that every time my Moms brought something to the table, she looked at Zora and rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know nobody with a college degree,” Christine said.
“Well,” Zora said, and polished off the rest of her drink. “I just wish some of us had more courage to make our dreams come true. Too many of us are hung up on what we don’t have, can’t have, or won’t ever have. We spend too much energy being down, when we could use that same energy—if not less of it—doing, or at least trying to do, some of the things we really want to do. You know what I mean?”
Christine just nodded her head, like she was trying to put all this together.
“We all need a master plan in order to get ahead.”
My Moms, her lips curled down, plopped a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table. She shook her head as she walked back to the kitchen. Christine and Darlene tried to act like they didn’t see her.
“What exactly do you mean by ‘master plan’?” Darlene asked. I guess she musta reentered the real world.
“You know, sort of like a blueprint, a plan. Thinking and planning how you want to get something accomplished, then setting out and doing it. I think too many of us give up when we don’t see instant results. But like Confucius said, ‘Everything takes longer than you think.’”
“Who?” Christine asked.
My Moms was standing by the table with her hands on her hips and looked like she was pissed off about something. She let out a long sigh and then said, “Can we eat now?” The table was packed with big bowls and platters of food.
What Zora said made perfect sense, and I had a few questions of my own I felt like asking. But I didn’t wanna come across like me and my woman don’t talk about this kinda shit, so I kept my thoughts to myself.
Everybody sat down, and Pops said grace. Afterwards, he insisted on refilling everybody’s drink. I looked at Zora, but it seemed like she didn’t even know I was there. “I’ll just have half of one this time, and that’ll be it for me.”
“So are you saying you think the situation of black people today ain’t got nothing to do with racism?” I asked. I smiled when I said this shit, and Zora gave me one of those sexy grins. I wanted to swallow them orange lips whole.
“I didn’t say that, Franklin. All I’m saying is that we can’t keep blaming white folks for everything. I mean, a lot of us are definitely victims, but I also think the reason some of us fail in life goes back to our parents.”
My Moms jabbed her fork against her plate, and it made a scraping noise. She just looked at Zora, then shoved some food in her mouth. She looked like she was getting ready to say something but was too damn mad to say it. The real deal was that Zora just struck a damn chord.
“Meaning what?” I asked.
“Meaning if they instilled more confidence in us, maybe we’d grow up feeling more secure about who we are and what we’re capable of doing, that’s all.”
Just then my Moms threw her fork down on the table, jumped up, and said, “Why don’t you jus
t shut up!” She dug her fingers in her plate and threw some mashed potatoes in Zora’s face.
Everybody—including me—lunged up, then stood around the table staring at my Moms like she was crazy. I swear I saw silver stars dancing in fronta my eyes, so I blinked hard a few times, then realized this shit was happening for real. Zora was backing her chair away from the table, looking like she was in shock. I didn’t even realize I was walking in my Moms’ direction, with my fist balled up. But Pops grabbed my arm.
“Son, please,” he said. Then he turned to Moms. “Jerry! You just had to do something ignorant, didn’t you? You just couldn’t be satisfied until you spoiled everything, could you? Who in the hell do you think you are, pulling some stupid-ass shit like this? Damn.” He threw his napkin on the table and stood up. Pops was fuming—his nostrils was flared—and he was licking his lips like he was getting ready to spit on her or something. I ain’t seen him this mad in years. He was looking down at her like she was a dog that just bit him and he was trying to decide if he should kick it.
I couldn’t believe he had just talked to her like that, even though this ain’t the first time she done pulled some rank shit like this.
“The girl talks too damn much. Just like the rest of them sluts Franklin done brought home, trying to get my approval. They all the same, except this one done been to college and think she know everything. Well, not in my book. And I ain’t gotta sit in my own house listening to what she thinks is wrong with black folks ’cause she think she so damn high-and-mighty.”
“Jerry, just shut up,” Pops said. He was still standing there like he was waiting to do something.
The boys was covering their mouths and laughing, and what’s-his-name just kept on eating like nothing had went down.
“Mama!” Christine yelled. “She didn’t say nothing wrong, and so what if she did. She’s got a right to her own opinion, and who the hell are you to be throwing food in somebody’s face ’cause you don’t agree with ’em? This is embarrassing as hell.”
I couldn’t believe this shit. Christine was talking back to her too?
My Moms turned to her. “Be quiet, Christine. You the one who started this mess.”
“All of you need to just shut up!” Darlene screamed out. She was crying, and she threw her empty glass against the wall, turned, and ran downstairs to the basement. I heard the door slam.
“Apologize to Zora, Jerry,” Pops said. He was still standing over her, like he was building up to an explosion. I couldn’t wait.
Zora was just sitting there, not moving.
“I don’t owe her no apology. I said exactly what I felt like saying,” Moms said, and picked up her fork and went back to eating her dinner.
“I said apologize, Jerry, and I mean it.”
She rolled her eyes up at him and put a forkful of stuffing in her mouth and started chewing. When Pops grabbed her by the arm so that her fork fell out her hand, she gave him one of them are-you-crazy? looks. I wished he woulda kicked her ass in front of all of us. I woulda got so much satisfaction out of that, but I knew that was wishful thinking. Moms snatched her arm away from him, and he just backed away the way he always end up doing. But as far as I was concerned, he had accomplished a whole lot today.
“Forget it, Pops,” I said. “She ain’t gotta apologize for being a bitch. She can’t help it.” Then I looked her dead in the eye. “Mashed potatoes in my baby’s face? You better be glad he’s here—you know that, don’t you?”
She picked her fork back up and kept on chewing, like she was the only person in the room. How can he stand her?
“I’m sorry, Zora,” he said, and lit a cigarette, then drank the rest of his drink.
Zora was still in a daze, so I led her upstairs, and I could hear everybody jumping all over my Moms’ case. Something is wrong with that woman, and why she ain’t never been checked out before, I don’t know. I ain’t never seen nobody get so much pleasure outta causing other people pain, especially their own damn kids.
“I’m sorry, baby,” I said to Zora, once I got her inside my old bedroom. “I told you it would be fucked up, didn’t I?”
She flopped down on my twin bed. “I feel sick, Franklin.”
“You need to go to the bathroom?”
“No. I just feel like I need to lay down for a little while.” Then she fell back on the bed, and I figured I’d let her sleep it off.
“Franklin?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“What did I say to make your mother do something like that?”
“Nothing, baby. It ain’t got nothing to do with you. I’m sorry about this, but you lay down for a little while, then we getting the fuck outta here.”
On the way downstairs, all I kept thinking was how much longer I was gon’ be able to stand being in this house. “Just ignore her,” Pops said, and we went back out on the sun porch to watch another game, or the same game, I didn’t know no more. My Moms was still eating. And now Darlene was sitting in a corner, by the china closet, looking like she was completely in orbit or something.
“Anybody want dessert?” my Moms asked, just like June on Leave It to fuckin’ Beaver.
When didn’t nobody say nothing, she sat her ass down at the table by herself and ate a big piece of sweet potato pie. Christine was washing up the dishes, the boys was in the basement and what’s-his-name was down there with ’em.
A hour passed.
I decided to go see if Zora was feeling better, and when I opened the bedroom door, I couldn’t believe my fuckin’ eyes. She had her skirt pulled up and was pissing in my old toy chest.
“What you doing?” I asked, yanking her by the arm, and piss started running down her legs and on the floor.
“Using the bathroom,” she said. Her eyes seemed like they was looking at something—but it definitely wasn’t me. If this little bit of alcohol fucks her up like this, she won’t be doing no more drinking around me. I cleaned her up, sat her down on the edge of the bed, then led her downstairs and got our coats.
“We ready,” I said to Pops. He downed the rest of his drink and went to warm up the car. Everybody except my Moms said goodbye. And on the way to the ferry, Zora fell back to sleep.
“How can you stand her, Pops—I mean, for real?”
“She wasn’t always like this, you know.”
“Coulda fooled me. It’s the only way I ever remember her. Don’t you ever hate her fuckin’ guts?”
“When you’ve been with a person this long, you take them in stride. Your mother has her good and bad points, but she really don’t mean any harm. I think she’s just lonely since all of you’ve grown up and gone your separate ways. You children don’t call or visit anymore, except for Christine. And whether you believe it or not, she does love all of you—in her own way. I think she just doesn’t know how to show it.”
“Well, she could stand a refresher course.”
By the time we pulled into the station, Zora was waking up.
“She’s a nice girl, son. Lord knows she can’t hold her liquor,” he said, laughing. “But I like her. And she’s a smart one.”
“Thanks, Pops. And don’t bother asking when you’ll see us out here again. If you wanna see us, come to our house, and don’t bring her.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Swift,” Zora managed to say, and even waved. I shook his hand, then slammed the car door. By the time we got on the ferry, he was still sitting in the parking lot. I know he didn’t wanna go home. I led Zora out on the deck, thinking the cold air might sober her all the way up.
“How you feeling?”
“Better. It’s cold out here, Franklin. Can we sit inside?”
“No, you staying right out here. I’m going to get us some coffee. Some fresh air’ll do you good. You sure you okay?”
“I’m freezing, and my head is killing me.”
“Serves you right,” I said, and went to get the coffee.
* * *
By the time we finally got home, Zora was back to normal.
<
br /> “I’m sorry, Franklin, really I am.”
“I told you. You didn’t do nothing wrong.”
“I had to have said something pretty insulting, or why would your mother have done what she did?”
“Because she’s not playing with a full deck.”
“Franklin, please.”
“I’m serious. The woman’s got problems, Zora, and I’m just sorry that you had to be the victim. I know one thing—now I know why you don’t drink.” I started laughing. “Pissing in my toy chest!”
“What?”
“I busted you pissing in my toy chest—thought you was in the bathroom and shit.” She put her hand over her mouth and held her head down. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t even worry about it.” I lit up a cigarette. “Tell me something. How come you don’t drink?”
“Because it gives me migraines.”
“So why’d you drink some today?”
“’Cause I was nervous.”
“Well, look. Let’s just go to bed and try to forget this whole day, okay?”
“I feel like taking a shower first. That’ll make me feel much better.”
I took off my clothes and laid across the bed. Some kinda way, I wanted to make this up to her. This whole day was a mistake. My dick started getting hard, and my body felt like it needed her, and right now. I turned on the TV, but my mind wasn’t on it. I fell back down on the bed. I wish she would hurry up. By now I had slid my hand around Tarzan and was stroking him, pretending it was Zora’s hands keeping him warm. When she finally came in the bedroom, she opened the drawer with her pajamas in ’em.
“You won’t be needing them.”
She turned and looked at me. “Good,” she said, closing the drawer. “Because right now, Franklin, I need you to hold me—plus some.”
“Come on over to Daddy, then,” I said. She pressed that luscious body down on top of mine, and I swear to God, I coulda came right then and there, but I didn’t. I wanted to feel her for a while, just like this. But Zora knows how to get what she wants when she wants it. She placed my lips on her breasts and whispered, “Pretend they’re peaches.” Damn, they was juicy and sweet. Everything she gave me was juicy and sweet. So we apologized to each other half the night. Just like that.
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