I know I should probably quit while I’m ahead; cut my losses and all that shit. What’s one more piece of my heart gone? I probably won’t miss it. Yet, the thought of giving him up now? It’s totally ridiculous, but I can’t seem to stomach the idea of being without him. I tried. Granted, it was only for a couple of days, but I put in a solid effort. All it got me was a few restless nights, a lot more cardio clocked at the gym, and the realization that I am not ready to give him up yet.
I shake my worry away, knowing that this will work itself out. Eventually, the novelty of all that is new between us will wear off and he'll get bored. They always do. Then they always leave. As long as I guard what's left of my heart, I'll survive. There is absolutely nothing wrong with indulging my body for a while, so long as I keep my heart out of it. The moment I start falling for him, I'll reevaluate my options. For now, my heart is fine. He can have what he's managed to steal but nothing more. It's not like he's giving me his heart.
He isn't. At least, I don't think he is.
WHEN DERRICK TOLD me that there was someone he wanted me to meet, I never in my wildest dreams imagined this. Apparently, Travis Pratt caught D just as he was coming off stage, asking to speak to our band manager. Currently, Derrick’s it. He’s good with the business side of things, plus he’s the most organized, so we’ve always trusted him to take on that role. When Travis told him who he was, D insisted that I needed to be in on the conversation. Now, all five of us guys are circled around one Mr. Travis Pratt—road manager for Lawful Sinners.
Fuck me.
After praising our performance, he tells us that he’s been keeping an ear out for an opening act for Lawful Sinners’ next tour. They’re headlining with a couple of other bands, but the opener slot is still vacant. Lawful Sinners is a group based out of Denver. They’ve been around for a couple of years, paying their dues, making a pretty good name for themselves. This will be their second U.S. tour.
“This is the deal—take my card. You cats need some representation. No offense, kid,” he says, tipping his chin at Derrick, “but you need someone handling the business while you’re up there beating the shit out of those drums. I’ve got a gal, real sharp, works down in D-town. I’ll make sure she’s at your next gig.”
“Two weeks from today,” JJ announces. “FoCo. The Brew Cycle”
“I’ll tell her she’s missing out on a good thing if she doesn’t get her ass up there. She likes what she hears, she’ll call me—we’ll see if we can’t work something out.”
“Thank you,” I manage, offering my hand. He gives me a firm shake before doing the same with the guys, and then he’s gone.
“Holy. Shit. What the fuck just happened?” asks Maddox, burying his fingers in his hair.
“I think we might have just got our first big break, lil’bro,” says Knox, clapping his hand against his brother’s back.
I stare down at the card in my hands, my mind racing, my palms sweating. “We need to find a bass player. Like, yesterday,” I mutter, shaking my head in disbelief. I look up and glance around at my second family and the closest I’ve ever had to brothers. My adrenaline from before is now amped up even more. “All hands on deck, guys. This is it. We can’t have some fucking rookie up on stage with us two weeks from now screwing up our shit.”
“We got it, boss,” says Derrick, bumping me with his shoulder. “Tonight, we drink. Tomorrow, we hunt.”
“For the record, when you guys make it big, if I’m still rolling up cords and packing up equipment, I want a t-shirt that says ‘M&M’s Hottest Roadie’. I also expect a paycheck, and there better be lots of zeroes in it.”
We all look over and see Violet, Millie, and Wren making their way off stage. Wren’s bass is closed in its case in one hand, and he’s got an amp in the other. Millie’s got the case that houses Knox’s pedals and Violet appears to have all of JJ’s electronics packed up, too.
“If your t-shirt says anything, it’ll say ‘JJ’s Hottest Groupie,’” he says, making his way toward his girlfriend.
“Pfft,” she scoffs with an eye roll. “I’m no groupie, baby. I’m your girl and you best not forget it.”
“Never.” He kisses the tip of her nose, taking the gear from her hands, and she smiles at him before she hurries back on stage to gather another load.
I slide Travis’s card into my back pocket just as Maddox reaches for the case in Millie’s grasp. “Thanks, babe. I’ve got this.”
“Watch who you’re calling babe, Maddy,” I warn as I approach, draping my arm around Millicent’s shoulders.
He curls his lip in a half-hearted snarl and flips me off.
He hates it when we call him Maddy.
“Try not to get your panties in a bunch, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” He wiggles his eyebrows before he turns, heading for the back door that leads to the alley where Derrick’s SUV and the band trailer are parked.
I ignore him, sliding my arm down around Millie’s waist as I hold her against me tightly. “You my roadie now? I could get used to you coming to all our shows. You don’t really have to help with our equipment, though.”
She shrugs, looking over her shoulder at the others. “It’s not a big deal. Violet seems to know what she’s doing and I thought I could lend a hand.”
“Violet definitely knows what she’s doing. She knows our set up almost better than we do. She could set us up and tear us down by herself,” I say with a chuckle.
“She also said the sooner we pack up, the sooner we can get out of here.”
The look in Millie’s eyes when she says that makes my dick twitch. Suddenly, getting out of here as quickly as possible is a fantastic idea. “Does someone want to get naked?” I jibe, only half teasing. I can hardly wait to strip her down and have my way with her—all night long.
“Enough eye-fucking,” Maddox yells as he passes us on his way to the stage. “Let’s get our shit out of here.”
“Someone’s raggin’,” I reply, pulling away from Millie only to take her hand as I make my way toward the stage.
“Shut up!”
“Uh-oh,” sings Violet as she helps JJ pack up his keys. “Sounds like someone is single tonight! Andrea wasn’t here, was she?”
“Please. Like I care. I’ve put up with her long enough. We’re done.”
“Mmmhmm,” Violet hums, exchanging a mischievous look with JJ.
Knox looks at his brother and then smirks at me. I fight to contain my laughter. The drama between Maddox and Andrea never ends. Guaranteed, she’ll be at the house later tonight—bitching at Maddy and then filling the basement with her annoying as hell, squeaky sex noises. I do not envy Derrick. He might have the biggest room in the house, but he shares a wall with the youngest Bradley brother. He’s a good sport and he doesn’t complain. Much.
A half an hour later, we’re packed up and ready to head out. The guys feel like drinking and, after a night like tonight, I don’t disagree. Knox suggests picking up some beer and just heading back to the house. When our resident man-whore suggests a night in, we all lift an eyebrow in curiosity. After he tells us to screw ourselves, he explains that he thought we could kick back and scour YouTube to see if we could scope out any local talent. Mixing business with pleasure is agreed upon by all of us and we’re en route right away.
JJ and Violet ride with Millie and me and we spend the ride back home talking about the show and filling the girls in on our exchange with Travis. I would kill for a chance to tour for six weeks with Lawful Sinners. The exposure alone would be insane. It’s just what the band needs right now.
First, we need to find a fucking bass player that’ll actually stick.
When I pull into the drive and turn off the car, I look over at Millie. She hasn’t been to the house since the night I brought her over, passed out after Keith drugged her drink. She looks over at me and catches me staring. I smirk at her in response. I decide that tonight, I’m not going to stress over a bass player. Tonight, we’re celebrating. When I get her al
one, I’ll be sure that by the time she finally passes out in my bed, it’ll be for entirely different reasons.
SOMETIME AFTER ONE in the morning, we’re all well on our way to being drunk as we lounge around the guys’ living room. For a while, Knox and JJ had their laptops out and the five band members were drinking and surfing the web for musicians. Violet had her phone and she tugged me down onto the couch with her as we did the same. After a while, she got distracted and she’s been exposing me to all sorts of random videos on the web, most of which she finds wildly hilarious.
I’m not really much of a beer girl, but every time I finish one, Maddox or Sage seems to be putting another in my hand. Same for Violet. Now, I’m not sure if I’m laughing at the ridiculous shorts that fill the screen of her mobile because they’re funny, because I’m tipsy, or both. Either way, I don’t mind. I’ve never done this before and it feels…good.
I don’t really know much about the the members of the band or Violet; I don’t know how old they are, who’s in college and who’s not; what they do for a living or how they all came to know each other; and yet, I get the feeling that nights like this are what it feels like to be a normal twenty-something on a Saturday night. I don’t know that I belong here, but something about this night makes me want to stay.
Or, rather, someone.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I have no friends, but I don’t have many. It’s the way I like it. I’m better by myself. Or, at least, that’s what I thought growing up. Now, my isolation seems like more of a habit than anything else. I’ve always felt like the odd man out in social settings such as this one. Even after I escaped from New Jersey and moved to Colorado, starting fresh at a college where no one knew me, I still felt like outcast was a sort of skin that I couldn’t shed. I made a few friends over the years in various classes. I even dated a couple of guys and was silly enough to fall in love, but they didn’t stick around. I’ve learned that men usually don’t. It’s better not to get too attached. Not to anyone.
I go out enough to keep the label of Shut In off of my back. I know better. I can’t shut out the world or I’ll end up like her. The woman I ran from. I won’t let anyone, not even myself, take me to that place—change me into that person. I have boundaries, carefully constructed boundaries that I trust will keep me Millie.
When I was in college, homework and literature were my escape—my excuses. Now that I’m older, it seems my excuses haven’t changed. Nevertheless, I put in the necessary effort. Happy hour with my fellow professors, clubbing with Aria and Josh—now, occasionally, with Sarah and Brandon—it’s enough. I’m not afraid of being by myself. On nights when I feel lonely, if I wear the right dress and sit at the right bar, I can chase away the feeling. I’ve been told I’m beautiful; and if my success rate at snagging a one-night stand says anything, I’m assuming it proves I can be quite appealing when I want to be.
But this—sitting around, drinking beer and goofing off with Violet on the couch, the boys abandoning their hunt in favor of video games—it feels…different. Good. There’s something about Violet that makes me feel welcome. I don’t fit in with these people, which is normal for me, but none of them seem to care.
My attention is pulled away from Violet’s screen at the sound of Maestro’s barking. Sage’s little French bulldog, covered in black fur with a white belly, paws his way into his owner’s lap. Sage ignores him for only a moment, his focus glued to the television screen in front of him.
“Outside?” he asks, his thumbs still busy as they press furiously at the control in his hands. Maestro barks his affirmation and Sage pauses the game, tossing the device in his hand to Maddox. “Kick ass, Mad Lips.”
“Don’t I always?” he mutters, starting the game as Sage stands to his feet. Maestro barks again, racing in circles, clearly excited for the chance to relieve himself.
Sage catches me staring and winks at me before he leans down and taps the side of my thigh. “Come on, doll face.”
I look to Violet, who wiggles her fingers in a little wave, and then reach my hand out for Sage to help me uncurl myself from the place I’ve been nestled for a while. He doesn’t let me go as we make our way to the front door. As soon as it’s cracked open, Maestro goes racing down the front porch. I assume, due to Sage’s lack of concern, that he’s not worried about the little guy running away.
“Wait, I have to find my shoes,” I mutter, sweeping my hair out of my face as I look down at the pile just beside the door.
“You don’t need them. It’s nice out. Come on,” he tells me, wrapping an arm around my waist as he steps out in his bare feet.
I acquiesce, only because I’m a tad bit intoxicated. That, and he smells way too delectable for me to argue. He closes the door behind us and leads me to the top of the first step. He peers into the darkness, checking on Maestro, then focuses his attention on me. I suck in a breath when he circles both his arms around me, pulling me against his chest.
“Hey.”
He speaks and the sound of his voice in conjunction with the the warmth of his body against mine makes my knees week. Suddenly, I’m reminded why I’m here—why being in a room full of people I barely know, drinking beer I’d never think to purchase on my own, is all worth it. My body is suddenly wide awake and buzzing with want.
“Hey,” I manage.
“I’ve kind of been neglecting you,” he murmurs, dipping his head to kiss the side of my neck. “Got carried away with the guys.” He licks my skin and I feel my nipples pebble in response. “Sorry, baby.”
I clear my throat, hoping that when I speak, my voice will work. “It’s fine,” I say, and mean it. “I’m not as needy as you might think.”
He pulls away from me, flashing me his signature smirk before looking down at his chest. My gaze follows his and I find my fists are both gripping onto his t-shirt, my ten fingers making me a liar. He chuckles and then seals his lips against mine. Now fully aware of my hands, my grip tightens, pulling him even closer. He palms both hands around my ass, pressing me against him with purpose, and I moan into his mouth.
“Seriously?” Sage and I pull away from each other at the sound of her nasally, high pitched voice. “If you’re going to go all she Hulk on his ass, you probably should take it indoors. A little tact goes a long way.”
I look at the voluptuous blonde standing in her too high heels and too short dress, her purse hanging from the crook of her elbow.
Okay, to be fair, I suppose I own heels that high and dresses that short—but this bitch just called me a she Hulk!
I shift my focus back to Sage when he scoffs, sliding his hands from over my ass to around my waist before he speaks. “Really? You’re here for a booty call after one in the morning and you’re going to school us on tact? Fuck off, Andrea.”
She rolls her eyes and waves her hand, as if batting away the legitimacy of his point. “Is he in there?”
“He does live here,” Sage replies dryly. That, apparently, is all the invitation she needs. Without another word, she walks around us, heading for the door. As soon as she’s out of earshot, Sage shakes his head and smacks a kiss against my lips. “That’s officially our cue to hit the sack, baby doll.”
I furrow my brow in confusion. “I thought Maddox said they were done?”
He shrugs and whistles for Maestro before he says, “They fight and then they fuck. It’s annoying as hell. One day he’ll realize her pussy just isn’t worth it. She treats him like shit. Anyway—” He swats at my backside just as Maestro joins us on the porch. “Enough about them. Let’s get naked.”
WE DON’T SAY A word to the others when we re-enter the house and make our way to the stairs. I can hear the faint traces of an argument as the sound of Maddox and Andrea’s voices scale the walls of the staircase that leads to the basement. I’m impressed with the volume at which they are screaming at each other and in awe of how everyone else seems to think nothing of it. As soon as Sage and I make it to the landing of the second level, his hand
s are under my shirt. He splays his long fingers across my stomach, pulling me back against him as we both stagger to his bedroom.
He kisses the hair that’s draped over my ear just as we pass over the threshold. When he starts humming to me, a shiver races down my spine. And then—
“I’ll set you free, but will you let me go?
You cage me in and now I can’t let go.
All night/One song
This room/My home
Set me free but, baby, don’t let go
Tonight/ Just give me tonight.”
As he sings, his rich, tenor voice so smooth, his breath against my ear enticingly hot, his words meant for me—only me—it’s as if my entire body is suddenly aflame. I spin around to face him, my lips seeking out any piece of him that I can find. My mouth grazes his chin as my arms wrap around his neck. I follow the length of his jaw, kissing and licking, desperate to taste him.
I hear the door slam shut and then, in the blink of an eye, my back is pressed against it and I’m no longer the one delivering kisses. I don’t complain. Instead, I follow his lead, allowing him to undress me. My shirt hits the floor. Then my bra. My back bows away from the surface behind me as he takes one of my nipples into his mouth. His tongue swirls around the hardened bud and I sigh deeply as I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. He sucks hard and then lets me go with a pop. My small boob shakes and I watch as he smiles before pressing a kiss in the middle of my sternum.
“Such perfect tits, baby doll,” he murmurs before he showers the opposite nipple with the same attention. By the time he’s finished with my breasts, I’d imagine he could blow on my swollen clit and I’d come for him. I’m so wet, you’d think my pussy was desperate.
Then again, maybe it is. It’s been a couple days since this man has been inside of me. I don’t usually feel so needy after seventy-two hours. Hell, I’ve gone months without getting laid before; but ever since that first night with Sage, I feel like I can’t get enough. My body is always hungry for him. Despite my best efforts, there’s not an inch of skin on me that will ever forget him, as he’s seen fit to explore every part of me. Resistance was futile and my pride has long since surrendered to my lust.
Worthy of the Harmony (Mountains & Men Book 2) Page 2