“You ungrateful little bitch!”
I cough out a laugh, my only remaining defense against my tears. I know she can’t see me when I shake my head at her, but I do it anyway. “If it helps you sleep at night, keep telling yourself that. But I can’t do this anymore, mother. I can’t—”
“Tati, you listen to—”
“Mother, I’m—”
“No! This time you will not hang up on me, I will hang up on you. I am the one who is done. You think your life will be so much better without me in it? You will see how wrong you are, you naive little girl. I am washing my hands of you. Soon, you will know what it’s like to be in this world all alone. Then, I will not be here to pick up the pieces of your remains.”
I huff out a harsh breath, appalled by her speech. “Fine!” I cry, calling her bluff. I’m all the woman has and we both know it.
“Fine.”
The line goes dead and I gasp, pulling my phone away from my ear to look at the display.
She wasn’t bluffing.
Immediately, my thumb hovers over her name, poised and ready to get her back on the line—but I pause, allowing myself a moment to wrap my head around what’s just happened. I sink back down onto the porch step and take a breath.
We’re done.
Just like that, my mother and I are…over.
A part of me feels like I should be elated. I’m finally free. The woman I ran from, the woman I’ve hardly tolerated for all of my adult life, she’s severed ties with me. And yet, I don’t feel an ounce of happiness. Neither do I feel sad. Instead, I feel nothing. Nothing at all.
“Millie? You okay?”
The sound of Sage’s voice breaks me out of my trance. I don’t turn to look back at him, taking a second to try and answer his question. When he comes and sits next to me, placing his hand on the small of my back, a sense of relief washes over me.
“Yeah,” I answer honestly. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Was that your mom?”
I nod, seeking out his gaze. Looking through his glasses and into his eyes, I think back on our afternoon and how much we shared with each other. He trusted me, showed me an old scar, and I did the same. Now, I don’t want to keep this from him either.
“I think we just…” I pause, trying to find the right words. “Broke up with each other.”
He lifts an eyebrow at me, showcasing his confusion. “You broke up with your mom?”
“Yes.”
He studies me for a moment before he hesitantly asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” I sigh, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Okay. Well, what do you need, baby doll?”
“Nothing.” I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his neck. I brush a kiss against his warm skin and suddenly I know that my answer is a lie. “You,” I whisper, kissing him once more. “I just need you.”
I turn my head as he dips his chin, and when our lips meet, a rush of happiness spreads from my head to my toes. I reach up and cup my hand around his cheek, expressing my desire to keep him close. My hunger for him is made evident in our ongoing kiss, and when he traces his tongue around the inside of my lips, I can feel my arousal making itself known between my legs as my panties grow damp. When I moan, he kisses me harder. Then, without warning, he pulls away abruptly. I open my mouth to question him, but he speaks before I can.
“If we don’t stop, I’ll take you upstairs and we won’t be back down for the rest of the night. Let’s eat first. I’m hungry, and you must be, too. You hardly touched your lunch.”
I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed that he’s making me wait, but he’s right. “Sustenance,” I mumble.
“You got it, doll,” he says with a grin and a chuckle. “We’re going to need it.”
He presses a quick kiss against my lips before he calls for Maestro and stands to his feet. He offers me his hand and helps me up, holding onto me as we make our way inside, Maestro on our heels. We eat and drink with the others, talking over the movie that’s playing. Everyone is still pretty excited about their time in the studio and the news of their next big show.
When an hour passes, I realize that my impatience from before has been kept at bay. I may be an outsider when it comes to their world of music, but so long as we are in this house—a place that grows more and more familiar every day—I feel as though I can at least pretend to be one of them. Nevertheless, when Sage leans toward me and gently nibbles on my earlobe, my desire to abandon their company is overwhelming.
“I think it’s time for us to get naked,” Sage whispers. “Feel like kissing every inch of my girl.”
I shiver at the thought and he laughs softly as he gets up and reaches for my hand. I oblige, clinging to him as he leads me out of the room and up the stairs. Neither of us say a word to the others, but they don’t seem to mind. They let us go without a bit of protest, for which I am grateful. The promise of his lips all over my body makes me ache with longing.
He shuts us into his room and lets go of my hand before leaning back against the door. “Strip, doll face. Then let your hair down and lay on the bed.”
I back away from him, inching my way closer to the bed, my gaze locked with his as he stands perfectly still. His eyes rake over me and, even fully clothed, just his gaze makes my neck warm and my stomach flutter. Slowly, I shrug my way out of my sweater, letting it fall to the floor. My shirt goes next, then my jeans, my bra, and finally my panties. When I let my hair down, running my fingers through it as it falls down my back—messy as hell, I’m sure—I watch as he reaches down to adjust himself in his jeans. Knowing he’s hard for me already makes my skin break out in goose bumps.
Obediently, I stretch out on his bed and then I run my hands down my bare body—desperate for touch as I wait for him.
“Play with your clit, baby. I want to see you touch yourself.”
I don’t even hesitate before I bend my knees and spread my legs, reaching down to do as he says. Across the room, he still sets me on fire, and I’m dripping wet in seconds. He watches me as he strips himself bare. When his cock springs free—long, thick, and fully erect—I slide two fingers inside of me, aching for him.
“Fuck,” he mutters, reaching for himself.
With my freehand, I grab my breast and pinch my nipple. I’m so turned on, watching him stroke himself, I can hardly stand it. “Sage,” I whimper, spreading my legs wider, working my pussy harder.
“Fuck yes—fuck that gorgeous cunt. Make yourself come, Millicent.”
I moan, the sound of my name passing from his lips and the feel of my hands on and in my body beckoning me closer to my release. He takes a step toward me, then another, and another, and I want to touch him so badly.
“Sage…”
“You like what you see, baby doll? Does it turn you on to see me stroke my dick?” I nod, a pathetic sound freeing itself from my throat. “Are you thinking about how good I can make you feel with this dick? Are you pretending your fingers are me?”
“Oh, god,” I mewl, suddenly needing more. I push three fingers inside of me, soaking them in my arousal. The slick sound of me fucking myself should be enough to leave me embarrassed, but I don’t give a single shit—I want him to know how hot he makes me.
“Who owns your orgasm, baby?”
“You,” I breathe. “Always, you.”
“Then come for me.”
I want nothing more.
I side my hand away from my breast and down my body, rubbing my clit as I continue to pump my fingers in and out of me. My eyes never leave his. When he licks his lip and then pulls it between his teeth, I lose it.
“Oh, fuck, Sage—baby!” I throw my head back as my orgasm hits me. I’ve never made myself come so hard in my life, proving his statement true—Sage McCoy owns my orgasm, every damn time.
My eyes fly open when he grips my wrist and lifts my fingers to his mouth. He sucks them hard, making my own mouth water. I manage to scramble onto my knees, my arm still
in his grasp as I swallow his cock. He grunts, bucking his hips as he tangles his fingers in my hair, gripping the strands so tightly it burns. For a moment, we both suck. Then, when I swirl my tongue around his head, he groans and frees my hand, burying the rest of his fingers in my hair. I grab his ass and squeeze, sealing my eyes shut as I try and take him deeper. He gasps and then pulls his cock free.
With his fingers still twisted in my hair, he yanks my head back. My neck arches as I look up at him, and then he crashes his lips against mine. We moan together when our tongues meet and I lift up on my knees, longing to be closer to him.
“Need your pussy, Millie,” he mumbles against my lips.
“It’s yours,” I whisper.
He pulls away from me, tossing his glasses on the nightstand before reaching into the drawer for a condom. I lay back, anxious to have him on top of me—inside of me—owning me. He rips the package open with his teeth, sheathing himself quickly before crawling in between my legs. He sinks into me with ease, staring down at me as he takes his time. When he’s all the way in, he holds still for just a moment, kissing me tenderly.
“You’re my best girl, Millicent,” he whispers, pulling out slowly. “You’re my best girl.”
He rolls his hips, plunging back in, and I mewl. He feels so fucking good. Every time. He fills me up like no one ever has before and I’m sure no one else will ever compare. My mother swears that love isn’t worth the trouble, but right here—right now—as he takes me slowly, gently, adoringly, I know that she is wrong. Sage is worth it. He’s worth everything.
We take our time. My enjoyment seems to last for hours and I soak up every bit of it—every bit of him. He kisses me over and over again, whispering to me, singing to me, pleasuring me like only he can. When we come, we come together; and as we descend from our first euphoric high of the night, all I want is to be wrapped up in his strong arms—my safe place.
He rolls us over, his cock still buried deep, and holds me against his chest. For the first time in my life, I wonder if this is what home feels like.
LOOKING DOWN AT the beautiful girl in my arms, I wonder what she’ll be like after the six weeks that I’ll be away. Babies change constantly. She’s almost three months now, and looking more and more like her mother every day.
“Uncle Sage! Watch this,” says Henley from across the kitchen table. He tosses a pea and tries to catch it in his mouth. He misses, sending the vegetable onto the floor.
“Henley, I don’t think so, bud,” says Harry from the head of the table. He shakes his head at his son, fixing him with a stern look. “We do not throw our food, do you understand?”
“Yes, daddy.”
I smirk at my nephew as his shoulders sag in defeat. I’m going to miss the little dude, and his brother, too. I cannot believe how fast this month has flown by and how, in just ten days, we’ll be hitting the road. I’m leaving a lot behind, but I won’t deny that I can’t fucking wait. If the last three weeks are just a taste of what it’s going to be like to finally get Mountains & Men off the ground, I’m starving for more.
We finished our EP just this week. The guys and I are really proud of the way it turned out. Stefany is pretty hyped about it, too. She’s been shopping for labels with our single Just Tonight, on top of tour prep and finalizing the details of our merchandise. I don’t know who she knows or how she does it, but she’s managed to find a couple sponsors to help back us financially for all the costs we’ve incurred that aren’t covered from our cut from the tour. She wasn’t lying when she said she’d work her ass off for us. So far, she’s blown our minds.
We were able to cut a few costs by hiring our own graphic designer. Pepper came up with our logo ages ago. Graphic design is what she studied in school. She doesn’t use it much these days, but that doesn’t mean she can’t. She most certainly can and did. Our new website is already up and running and it looks sick as shit. We’re ready for the nation to know who we are.
I’m ready for them to sing with us.
“Rose told me you finally talked to mom and dad,” says Pepper, lifting an accusatory eyebrow at me.
Admittedly, I’d been procrastinating on filling them in about the tour. We leave the thirtieth of October and we won’t be back until the tenth of December, which means I’ll be missing a major holiday. Dad’s favorite holiday. Needless to say, considering their overwhelming amount of support for my career with Mountains & Men, coupled with me picking up and leaving everything for six whole weeks, I thought they’d be less than enthusiastic.
I was right.
“Look, it’s done. I told them, they know, and that’s all I’m going to say.”
“Heard there was a pretty big argument,” she murmurs, clearly ignoring the bit about me not wanting to talk about it anymore.
“There always is, Pep. That’s why I waited so long to say something. They’ll get over it.”
“What about you and Millie? Are you good? I mean—six weeks on the road…” Her voice trails off, leaving me to fill in the blanks.
I shake my head at her, annoyed that she even thinks it’s necessary to ask. “Not worried, sis.”
“Give him a break, sweetheart,” Harry interjects. “You know how much this means to him. We all do. It’s exactly why we’ll send him off with our support and why we’ll all be here when he gets back.”
“I know.” She sighs, absentmindedly reaching over to adjust Carter’s bib. He pays her no mind as he continues to happily consume his serving of macaroni and cheese. Pepper takes a deep breath before looking at me once more. “I’m just going to miss you.”
“I’ll be back before you know it,” I reply with a chuckle.
“But this could be it. This could be the start of…everything. I mean, you never know. Then you’ll be traveling all the time and I’ll hardly ever see you.”
“Pepper,” I laugh. “Let’s just get through this first tour, all right?” She nods and I offer her a smile. “I’ll miss you, too, by the way.”
“You better.”
“What about me? Will you miss me, Uncle Sage?” asks Henley.
“You bet I will!”
“And me, too, Unka Sage?” Carter pipes in, not to be forgotten.
“You too, buddy.”
“And daddy?” he asks, pointing his cheesy finger down the table.
Harry and I both chuckle before I assure my nephew, “Yeah. Your dad, too.” I blow out a sigh, more than ready to change the subject. “D-a-m-n—this is not a farewell dinner. This is just dinner. Could we lighten up already?”
“You’re right. You’re right,” Pepper concedes, holding her hands up as if waving the proverbial white flag. “Oh, speaking of farewell dinner,” she begins, a twinkle in her eyes. “You know Rose and I won’t let you leave without one. We’ll do it the night before.”
I shrug and nod, nonchalantly expressing my agreement to her plan. Really, there is no point in arguing. I’d lose.
“Maybe you could bring Millie? I mean—you guys have been together, officially together, for almost a month. I’ve met her once, and I hardly got to talk to her at all.”
“I know. We’ve just been busy. She’s had mid-terms and I’ve had band stuff and—”
“I don’t want to hear it, baby brother. Just bring her. Got it?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Good. Now, who wants dessert?”
“KNOCK, KNOCK.” Lindsey announces herself at my office door without a single actual knock. I smile at her, slightly amused, and continue packing up for the weekend. “You’re heading out early this afternoon.”
“Yeah. Tonight’s the big show. I have to get home and changed before we leave for Denver.”
“Oh, my gosh, right!” she gasps, plopping down into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “You get to meet Lawful Sinners tonight.”
“I do,” I reply with a shrug. Truth be told, I know very little about Lawful Sinners. The only music of theirs that I’ve heard has been what Sage has insisted I liste
n to. I know that tonight means a lot to all of them. I understand why, even if I can’t relate.
Nevertheless, if the privilege of meeting Lawful Sinners is a bit lost on me, having a backstage pass is not. I’ve never seen Mountains & Men perform from any vantage point that isn’t in the middle of a crowd. Tonight, Violet and I will be just off stage. I imagine that the energy will be completely different—that it’ll be more palpable—that Sage will be even more irresistible. That is something to look forward to.
“This is their last show before they hit the road, right?”
“It is,” I reply with a nod. My enthusiasm for gathering my things suddenly wanes and I prop my hip against my desk, giving Lindsey my undivided attention. “They leave in nine days.”
“Wow. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we survived mid-terms. Where does the time go?”
“Excellent question.”
She smiles at me then crosses her legs and props her elbows atop her knee. “Millie Valentine, that boy wonder has done a number on you—I swear.”
I rake my fingers through my hair as I look down at my feet. I’m not sure how to respond to her comment. I certainly can’t deny it. It would be a lie unworthy of the effort. Sage has been my undoing, just as I predicted. I fall for him a little bit more every moment that we’re together; and every day, one by one, the walls that I constructed long ago to shield me from the pain that I know comes with love, he’s managed to tear them down.
I don’t want to love him. Right now, what we have is good. I’m afraid of what love would do to us—what it would do to me. I don’t know how to trust love. It’s betrayed me more times than I’d like to remember. Trusting Sage, though—it’s paramount. I won’t get through our separation if I don’t trust him.
Six weeks seems like nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Then again, one might say the same about nine weeks—yet, nine weeks with him in my life has changed everything. From the moment we met, I just knew that I couldn’t keep him—that I didn’t want to. The arrogant little shit. Even when I could fully admit that my body craved the man like I’ve never craved anything, I still knew that resistance was necessary. Now, I have no fight. Now, he’s all I want.
Worthy of the Harmony (Mountains & Men Book 2) Page 21